Nicely done!

This was amazing!

I completely agree with you. Everybody was really in character! Great story you have here-keep writing!

Excellent.

That was so cute :D I love how concerned Arthur is about Merlin.

Aw! Yay! Yeah, I was a little upset that Arthur just seemed annoyed. I needed a little more bromance. I mean, c'mon you royal prat, your best friend just collapsed on the floor. Show a little concern.

Great job!

The story idea is good, but if you want to improve your writing then know it needs work. Not just for misspelled, misused & missing words. But for the following too!

When writing a story it needs to be told in an active voice not a passive voice so your readers can see the story happening their minds eye. Otherwise they're just reading the words and have not joined in the story. You need to pull your readers into your stories, get them to see the story along with you.

Check out the last two paragraphs, they are rewrites for the two paragraphs preceding them. With the first one I tried not to change the wording too much, other to change it from passive to active. The second paragraph is almost completely reworded, leaving out as many "had's, was's & were's" (passive voice words) as possible.

Original story lines:
Try as he might Arthur had trouble concentrating during the rest of the celebration. Being a prince, he'd often had to focus on things that were incredibly difficult to even think about because of their tediousness. But he had learned, and trained himself really, to pay attention no matter how dull or even, at times, disgusting the subject was.

He was also very good at ignoring things and his own thoughts if they were distracting.

Rewrites:
Try as he might Arthur found it difficult concentrating during the rest of the celebration. Being a prince, he often found it hard to focus on incredibly difficult things because of the tedium involved. But he taught and trained himself really, to pay attention no matter what.

Even going so far as to ignore any surrounding disturbances and his own inner thoughts if necessary.

If you have any further questions PM me.

-loved ittttt

_

It was great! I love the ending. When I saw this episode, I was a bit surprised that Arthur didn't go with Merlin to see Gaius. I understood after, but still...
Meÿli

Hello! I liked this one-shot, you really should think more people noticed how Merlin fainted, and not only Lancelot. Thanks for writing! :)

That was soo cute. A nice break from all the angst! fics I've been reading recently.;)

I totally loved the bits where Arthur thinks Merlin's girlier than any guy ought to be (like those words, hehe) and Merlin not realizing how many people care about him.

I really liked your oneshot, but I truly think that Arthur really was just annoyed. He's probably used to Merlin passing out. Merlin probably could have started screaming, and Arthur would have said, "Please ignore my servant, he does this all the time."

:D amazing, I really enjoyed reading this :)