There is a lot of nerfing going on here. Normal grenades don't make fireballs...oh gods, it's from 2002. There's no point of making these reviews.

Woah. That's some fantastic first chapter. The summary is pretty bad though. Also, strange to instantly work with a drug dealer and his sob story. Then again, Ranma and Ryouga are a bit naive.

A good fic, very nice detail, and good inter character relations. I am not going to give a full review this time, rather, I am going to go ahead and start your next fic. ciao

Overall I enjoyed your story. Your idea to incorperate a bit more reality into the Ranma story was a refreshing twist. I also liked the level of realism that your own background brought to the story.

I have a couple of constructive suggestions:

1) Nothing ruins the immersive feeling like poor grammer or word choice. For instance, it is a koi pond, not a coy pond. Coy means playfully shy. This type of problem exists in almost every chapter (there in stead of their, were instead of we're, etc). This best way to solve this problem is to go into your word processor and make sure that the grammer checker has all of its options turned on. That and proofreading are your only defense.

2) While I enjoy military stories (I'm a big fan of Tom Clancy), you should be careful about relying too much on technical details to carry your story. In many places you spend two or three paragraphs describing the features of something, but then maybe two sentences describing the action. Technical details are fine when they help the reader understand what is going on, but the real meat of the story is in the action and the dialogue.

Lastly, I have to point out the fact that while you used the Ranmaverse characters, it doesn't feel totally like a Ranma Fanfiction. The reason I say this is that if you pulled out the Ranma characters and Jusenkyo and put in some other characters, the story would still pretty much stand on its own. If you want to capture the feeling of a Ranma Fanfiction then the story has to revolve around the Ranma characters, not the other way around.

In any event, I hope you aren't too offended. My intent is only to be constructive. I appreciate how difficult it is to write as I have some experience with it myself.

Thank you for writing and sharing your story with us.

This story was very interesting. I am not sure what to say in response to it but it was very good writing, I just read it today for the first time and thought that both you and Mrs. Clark do a very good job at writing. Keep it up, btw, I am going to read your other stories so keep writing

Good story

I read this a while ago. It was the first fanfic I read, so I proceeded to promptly make Until the End the second fanfic I have read. (I have read many others between this one and when I actually got around to the review) This is definately one of the best fanfics I have ever read.

*sigh* wow...great job you guys! ya did an excellent fic, it was so touching! poor Ryoga _

Well thank you guy. You have truly enlightened me as to why the concept of the Yamasenken in this story is crap.

..Your idea of what the Yamasenken is a load of crap.

Hehe, brilliant. This story goes to my favorites, as do you. You have quite a talent in writing war stories. On to the sequel!

OMG.. this is such an amazing story.. only reason i haven't written a review for other chaps is cuz Im to caught up in your story.

The sequel is already out, it is called, "Until the End"

So, when is the sequel showing up?

The dynamics between the two protagonists are well developed.

Mr. Clatk,

I've read your wife's story under the name of "Mrs. Clark." Now I've found this story. Sir, even though in 1993, when 'Mr President' Bill Clinton was the CINC, I was discharged under Executive orders that all 'unworthy' were to be-no discussion here-were to be discharged under(false)pretences from the US Army...

"'Semper Fi' is fine by me,

but 'HOOOOUSHAAAAAAA" (ADA),

Is Music to my F #*&%G Ears!"

With my brother being Navy-the only time we fight is the Army-Navy game, LOL!-no matter our rate may be/was.

Thank you four your service from a man who only a few years your junior...

73 DE KG4FCA.

Sincerely,

Kyle Ryumaki, Andrew David Miller, KG4FCA

PS... Tell me why we should remeber 120-02-41 if you wish a confirmation as to my experience. My 1ST SGT was part of 'Nam, my Senior DSGT was from the Gulf War... Ever see what a HOTAS round can do to a M-1A full of goats?

Andrew D. Miller, KG4FCA

D Bttry, 3/321 Field ATL, Ft. Sill, OK, '93.

PS. MR or MRS Clark. Excellent style in thought, plot and style. I will ALWAYS volunteer my services as a proof reader. Oh, and Mr. Clark: ever seen the tapes of certain Army

wow

amazing story

peace out

japanese goth