Omg this! THIS! This is how it should be happened. Omg just remember their moments hurt me so much...

Final analysis: 5.5/10

It looks like you really put some effort into seeing how "Fllay helps Natarle retake the Dominion from Azrael" could change up SEED's endgame and set up for a real game-change come Destiny... buuuuuuuuut I personally feel like you were too keen on trying to push Kira/Fllay as a pairing, based on 1) the whole "Kira is all but stunned by how gorgeous Fllay looks in anything, and vice-versa" in the first handful of chapters (though thankfully you dropped that angle sooner than later), and 2) "seemingly the vast majority of other characters also agree that Kira and Fllay make a great couple, or else 'realize' that they do on learning more about the history of their relationship".

Whether it's your intention or not, that tends to come across as the author's bias infecting his characters. There was another, similar incident in the first half of the fic about Mu and Murrue - something to the effect of "They make such a great couple, etc. etc., they have great chemistry." Even if we fans in the real world accept that to be true, it sounds rather jarring to hear those kinds of comments coming from Kira or Fllay.

I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with liking characters (or a particular pairing) a lot. But in my experience, it helps if one tries not to be so obvious about it.

...and on a more petty and pedantic note, I always figured Kira would be more of a slacks guy than a jeans guy.

Shouldn't Fllay have apologized for, y'know, deceiving Kira and trying to emotionally control him to use as a weapon against other Coordinators?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I ship Kira/Fllay as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to overlook her rap sheet, either.

This is poorly written.

is really nice to see GS stories update. It has really gotten slow around here these past few months

sweet work on the chapter and its alright the wait we well worth it, I do feel sorry for Flay knowing she has no family left but at least she has Kira in her life which is good for the both of them that is,

Good chapter

Wow, cute chapter and loved the moments with Kira and Flay (especially the will, them going to George's old apartment in Washington, them paying a visit to the bank and then the shopping), it should help them to bond before the training officially starts.

Hope to see more of the story fairly soon as you are definately on a role and glad to see the saga back on track too.

Oh and how ironic that the only stories that ever bring up Flay's birthday were your fic, Enchanter's fic (aka The Necklace which is set between Second Chance and Evolution) and SEEDs of Discord. But rest assured that my stories , as well as Darkpokemaster's, ShadowWolf's and Lily's may bring it up as well.

I want to ask you 5 things about this fanfic. 1. Is there more to the plot, besides what was said in the summary? 2. What locations are used in the fanfic? 3. Could you be specific on when it takes place?4. How old is everyone in the fanfic? 5. What was going on, when the fanfic began? Be sure to fill me in this somehow.

nick

well this was a good chapter and I'm sure that it will get all the more sweet later on.

WELL I must sau this was a very good work on this chapter and story as well I just hope like other we get to see just what Flay has that her dad left her.

nice wotk on the chapter and you are doing Lacus in away that I may just like her.

well at least Lacus had some closerer which is very needed

wow nice work on the chapter it sure was sweet and well done too, I sure hope to see what it is that Flay is getting from her dad.

Great Chapter.