Ok, this is amazing! It played with my heartstrings so much, and I LOVE it. I’ve reread both chapters multiple times and each time I read it, I love it even more.

So I tried and tried to find something to critique, and I literally could find nothing except a few grammatical errors such as commas and the like. This is one of the best pieces of fan fiction I’ve ever read. (And I’ve read A LOT of fan fiction.)

I love how in character Peter and Edmund were. Your story flows together very well, and your word choice was superb.

I’m so very glad you wrote this and that I got the chance to read and review it. Great job.

Beautiful and Amazing

Love the idea of 'rewriting' the story from Edmund's POV. It truly gives another interesting inside in the relationship between both brothers. Very detailed writing as well. Highly enjoyable to read - thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Coopergirl

That was awesome!

This is an extremely beautiful piece! I loved it from start to finish. The raw emotions in here was amazing and left my eyes watery and understanding both Edmund's hurt and Peter's will to just protect his baby brother.

I can actually see this happening. Edmund being mad at Peter for leaving him and then end up crying and making up with Peter in the end.

You're an amazing writer and you have me keening with jealously. I hope to write as well as you someday.

Keep up the amazing work!

I really like your writing style, and the relationship you've created between Edmund and Peter.

My only grievance would be some of the inconsistencies in your story. Though it really doesn't matter with this particular story, as it revolves around the boys, sometimes you would contradict yourself when the girls came into the picture. Especially Lucy. The one that stood out most to me was Lucy's combat skills were described. At first she was described as having expert skills with a dagger, and then she was said to never have been in a battle before. Then you contradict yourself again by having her fight off a giant. Its not a big deal, but stuff like this can really detract from your otherwise excellent, and very sweet story.

As the words tore from Peter, honest and heartfelt, Edmund found himself beginning to fall apart. Peter knew well just how much Edmund needed to be there at the battles, needed to be beside him; and yet, just like always, Peter had put the well being of his sibling above his own and had made him stay behind. But he did not understand the depth of Edmund's feeling because Peter had never been made to stay behind while Edmund went off and risked his life for his home and family and everything he held dear.

Against his well, his anger began stealing away, his breathing uneven. "Peter, you…you still don't get it."

"Then help me get it." One of the hands on his shoulders moved to grab the back of his neck, Peter's palm calloused and warm and enough to make Edmund nearly lose his dignity entirely; when was the last time he had felt his brother's touch? "Edmund, I know you're angry with me, and I am sorry for that." He gave a soft sigh. "But I do not regret the decision of not allowing you to go. I got hurt; I'm scared to even imagine what might have happened to you."

Edmund's lips parted on the jagged breath that tore through his body and made the next breath near impossible. He had known the whole time why Peter had been so adamant in his refusal to let him come, just being his overprotective, wonderful idiot of a big brother that he loved more than life itself. But he'd been selfish and had focused solely on his own pain, not the worry his brother would have felt had he gone. And in the light of this knowledge, the knowledge that had always been there but Edmund had never tried to see, he could feel no more anger; it slipped through every pore and fled his heart, leaving him shaky and unstable, the same terrified child be had been the first time he'd stood before Peter in Aslan's camp.

Without him even noticing, Peter had released the hand from his neck and placed two of his fingers to Edmund's lips, lips that would not still into a straight line no matter how he tried. "Brother?" Peter asked him, the title pulling at his every heartstring. "Say something."

He had to get away. Fast. Now.

Edmund brought his arm back and then threw it forward, his fist aimed at Peter's chest, but was easily stopped by a hand catching hold of his. He inhaled through his teeth, then threw another punch with his left hand, less power behind this one; he didn't have much strength left. Peter latched onto this hand as well without any trouble, and then Edmund was yanking his arms back, trying to free himself from the shackles his brother's hands were around his wrists. If he didn't leave now…

"Let go!" He pulled against Peter's hold, eyes on the floor, the bed, the desk, just a long as they weren't on his brother. But soon, his overtired body began to slacken and he was unable to fight as violently, and even then Peter's hands did not release him. It wasn't until he was fighting for breath, bent against the strain his body was up against, that he felt Peter free one hand and lift the other up, his long fingers gently unfolding it from the first Edmund had it in, a thumb brushing over the tendons and veins in the back of his hand. And he could do nothing but watch, too weak to fight him anymore and not wanting to, his vision blurred by wetness. Looking at their hands—his, slimmer and more agile, and Peter's, tan and longer—Edmund watched as Peter raised their hands up and brushed his lips over his knuckles.

Edmund shook, bighting down the shaken breath that tried to leave him, hand trembling. "Peter." He was tearing apart, watching his brother's lips press a pure, solid kiss to his fingers, the back of his hand, his breath wafting over his skin and beard tickling.

Peter looked up at him, smile slightly crooked and full of unrestrained love. "Edmund."

He did not even feel his legs give out from under him until he was just above the floor, arms catching him at the last moment and lowering him so that he was half collapsed against Peter. "Hey! Ed, what's wrong?"

Edmund couldn't answer. If he opened his mouth, he wasn't sure what kind of sound would come out. Instead, her shook his head, closing his eyes when his sight became completely obscured by tears, and as his lids slid closed, a tear fell.

Above him, Peter stopped breathing. "Edmund?"

"I am not crying!" he cried out defiantly, voice far too thick to be believable. "I'm not!"

He was. He was crying a lot, tears streaming fast down his face and wearing worn paths, his heart fit to burst and shoulders quivering so that he could barely draw breath. Salty wetness coated his lips and ran down his throat, and when he opened his eyes, he saw them falling onto Peter's hands in fat drops.

Edmund hated crying, hated feeling weak or vulnerable, even before Peter sometimes. But not now. It was such a relief to actually be crying that he wasn't ashamed or humiliated because he had finally broken down and was clinging fast to Peter, afraid to let him go; if he did, would he really be there when he looked up? He felt small again, like in that first year when he had began growing comfortable with Peter and the love he felt for his brother, but it was not a bad feeling. Hiccoughing and sniffling, he leaned his head against Peter's strong chest and sobbed. "I missed you…I missed you so much…"

"Sorry." Hands caught in his hair, lips at the top of his head, and Peter was holding him in return. "I'm so sorry, Edmund," he said, his voice cracking. "For everything. Please…please say you'll forgive me."

And he couldn't help it: Edmund laughed, though it wasn't anything more than a sob. He grasped his brother's tear dampened hands as tightly as he could, bringing them to press a trembling kiss to each of them. "Peter…" Tears coming too fast now, he could not finish. He kissed his brother's fingers, just as Peter had done for him moments ago. "Of course I forgive you. I can't not. You know that."

Above him, Peter chuckled thickly. "And I'm thankful for it. But I was afraid it might take more than an apology for you to actually say it."

With a cut off sniff, Edmund touched Peter's hand to his eyes and forehead. "I don't even need an apology. Just the way you looked at me was enough." The disgrace was traveling fast through his body, exiting as teary breaths. "It should be me asking you for forgiveness."

He felt Peter's hands move to where they were on the back of his shoulders, nimble fingers running in massaging circles. "Why would you say that? You've done nothing wrong."

-_- My what an odd relationship

Ahh you are a great writer. I love how you show the brothers relationship. You hit it right on the dot loved it. Fave part was I'm not crying... Ugh I was :) great story.

I really liked this one. It was nice to read Edmunds point of view. I hope you write a longer story soon

Thank you! I'm telling you, there was a big grin on my face when I saw the alert in my mailbox.

Wow. This is definitely everything I hoped for. This is wonderful! I think there were a couple of spelling or grammar mistakes, but I was to enthralled to really notice what they were.

Your bit about Susan worrying has also added another fic to my possible fics list. People never really seem to write specifically about how she worries about her siblings, especially when they were away.

Thanks for posting so soon!

~Caity :)

Wow. This was beautiful. You captured their emotions perfectly. It was really nice to see both of their perspectives. All of it was amazingly written. Poor Edmund, so broken over Peter. And poor Peter, lost without Edmund. Everything in this story was just so wonderful. Thank you for writing it.

Aww, this is very sweet and touching.

The very last sentence threw me for a bit, but then I realized what it meant. Very nice. :D

Oh wow great second chapter getting Edmunds POV on how he felt. They are really close as brothers and as usual they sorted themselves out.

Great chapter.

This was great! There were just a few grammatical errors, but nothing major that detracted from your writing. It was wonderful to see Edmund's side of the story and feel what he felt. Lovely, as always :)

Beautiful. It was so well-written, and since the Peter-Ed relationship is my favorite in the series, I absolutely adored it. Great job, I love how you really show that they are interdependent, they are opposites of each other.

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