oooh. well that was a wierd story.

THIS IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS EXPECTING BUT IT'S SO ADORABLE AND JUST MAKES ME WANT TO SQUASH THINGS BECAUSE PREJUDICE AND AFHFFGGDSD.
I formally apologize for the shortness and incoherency of this review.

Awww. :'( Mrs. Greengrass is quite harsh... but her daughter married Draco Malfoy, so they can't be too pleasant of a family, huh?

That was so cute- you definitely kept the child innocence part. Well done- I really enjoyed it.

At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because the girls were so young, but you managed to portray Daphne’s youthful innocence and curiosity very well. The girls are at about the right age where they would just begin to wonder about kissing, even if they don’t understand what it might lead to with adults. Although Mrs Greengrass is obviously homophobic, her reaction probably would have been the same if Daphne kissed a boy.

There were no major spelling or grammar errors and although the POV seemed to switch a couple of times, it wasn’t confusing. Very well done.

Missyann

I love those childish innocence fics where the kids see the adults kissing and they kiss someone too. It's just adorable. (Brings back memories of when me and my friend were in Kindergarten and we saw a couple of the teachers kissing in a classroom and then my friend kissed one of the boys, on the lips, 46 times in the sandpit just to see what it felt like... okay why am I telling you this?)

I really liked the way that you wrote the friendship between Astoria, Daphne and Padma and the fact that the Greengrasses and the Patils were once good friends but after the mishap between Padma and Daphne they didn't interact anymore which fits quite well into canon.

Great job!

This is quite nicely done. The characters are believable and you play very well with the cultural taboos. I thought the ending was a bit abrupt but overall this is great. :)

Awe. This was cute, but i think it was dumb how sherold them to leave. The girl is nine, they don't know the difference at all. And if she got mad at them she should have got mad at her daughter too, obviously she disnt care cause she kicked her sister out. But yeah, interesting take on things.

This was an interesting scenario. I think you definitely conveyed the child innocence, but in terms of keeping the characters canon-ish I found it hard to suspend belief for the set up. You see you had that line about Padma's family not ever having anyone been placed in Slytherin and she herself only knew of bad wizards having been placed there, so the fact that their family would associate with one another and be invited to the Greengrass annual ball isn't very believable. I think you'll need to tweak the background of the characters a little more or insert some scenario detail for that to be case. Other than that, the interactions between girls themselves were great and fitting for the scene.

I absolutely adore Daphne's childish innocence, the way she didn't truly understand what leaving the family meant for her cousin, and the way she kissed Padma on a whim. Great story!

The way you worked with this pairing was very clever, and something not a lot of people would've done. Personally I would've tried for during their Hogwarts years, but I suppose that makes this unique. You kept the aspect of the "we're not supposed to be doing this," although I'm sure it would've been nicer if they weren't kids and couldn't just play it off on that. This was just child play, as you've said. The idea was developed though.

I always saw Parvati as the louder twin, but this works nicely with the whole 'childish innocence' style. Keep writing

I like this as far as keeping it canon...well we really know very little about the Greengrass family and Padma is almost an oc. You wrote this very well and I think it was believable,

Good Job