I love this! Job is one of my favourite books of the Bible, and I think it’s amazing how you’ve based this story on it.

I cannot express just how much I adore this piece. Sticking strongly and very, very faithful to the books, for which I sincerely thank you, and also to our Faith, as well! Very, very Christian... God bless you for writing this!

I really like this. My only complaint, as it always seems to be, is that it's not longer. If you had done the girls as well, it would have been very close to perfect.

Incredible. I like how you mixed the Biblical references/language with the Pevensies. It's suitable for the land of Narnia.

That was awesome! I like how you incorporated a lot of different Scripture passages in there. Had you thought about doing one for all of them? I can see Susan's being about losing her family.

I've just read both chapters, right through! I love the concept of the story, and how goodness is shown - also the diction, and how it shifts as you need it to. Very well done.

Awesome. No more to say.

Eep! You included my favourite verse (Micah 6:8)!
Again, very clever. Methinks my favour is upon thee and thy tale. ;-)

Ariel_of_Narnia

This is so clever, I can't begin to tell you! KJV-speech and Narnian speech blended together so beautifully, the four clinging to that splendor even as it slips away from them, the Accuser's (shall we say) dare. Moving on to chapter two right now!

Ariel_of_Narnia

WOW, OFG95, this is simply amazing. It took my breath away... I can't even express how much this resonated with me. I absolutely love the King James language and the allegory therein. This has a simple elegance and profound depth to it that I, for one, think is the heart of the Narnia stories. Excellent work.

P.S. I liked the time-period references for the schoolboys, particularly "Pevensie Major". You'd think more people would pick up on these...

These are quite good. I'm hoping you're planning chapters for each of the girls as well?

Jack, eh? Is there a reason you chose that name, in particular?
While I know the scenario is all different, Clive Staples comes to mind. ;)

What another beautifully written chapter. I'm looking around for more, but there isn't any yet. :( Please update soon. My favorite lines were: The Lord saw that in this would his own name be glorified... (Amen!)
"There's a whole world of adventures waiting for us out there." Nice touch.
But in that land there passed generation upon generation, and a new king came to the throne who did not know Peter the High King nor Edmund his brother-king. I'm guessing this is sort of taken from Ex. 1:8?

This is such a rich story, I love how you've woven together such a clean, beautiful, picture that reminds us of the Bible. Thank you.

Foreverchanged

P.S. Please, please update soon!

This was beautiful! I just love the way you've weaved it together. I'm speechless. My favorite part was when Edmund blessed the Lord. ;) Great job, keep it up! :)

Foreverchanged

Is there going to be more? I very much liked these.