"He smelled like sweat and summer air." "Almost uncomfortable intensity." You have a way with adjectives! Neat idea, too, how Nancy has the choice of either Frank or Joe to dote on her but she chooses her father above everyone. :)

Close to perfect. Update soonD

loved it it was fantastic

Write more!

Ooh, that was sweet! I loved the second reunion. It was very fitting! Um, may I point out that you contradicted yourself in the beginning of this chapter. "She tried to speak, but was too tired to try..." You might consider dropping the last "try". I liked this chapter, short as it was. I thought it was slightly strange that Bess, Ned, and George were all still at Nancy's house at that time of night. I can see maybe the girls staying to keep Nancy company, but Ned? And, Ned just sat by and watched Frank scoop up his girl? Is there supposed to be a clear choice on Nancy's part or is this going to be tangled? It's not clear which. Also, it almost feels as if there is no more to go on, but it doesn't say complete. Is there more? I'd be glad if there were, but...is there?

Okay...that was a whole lot of kisses, but I can understand that. It seemed a little liberal with the honey's and sweeties, but that is purly my personal preference speaking. It just seemed kind of like they were treating her like a child. Well, I can see Nancy breaking down. It is somewhat out of character for her, but it's not farfetched in my mind's eye.

Well...that was a strange setup. I liked it. Aside from the choice of language, I thought this was well done. The Hardys and Nancy have always been iconic for as long as they've been written. They're the 'perfect' detectives. They're...they're just the perfect role models, etc. And, crude language has never been one of their aspects. In fact, it's quite out of character. Now, I did enjoy the portrayal of Bess's character. I thought that went over marvelously. Ugh, did I spell that right? Probably not. Anyway, there was one gramatical error that I caught. When Bess thinks "I really messed that one up, did I?" I'm pretty sure it should read "didn't I?". I'm looking forward to continuing!

UH-OH Nancy could NOThave done that!