I wish you would continue this series is really good and I wish ash would have ended up with trip

Insultingly late final review. Sorry, Lady Pepper...

So, I guess the old mansion was down on its last legs, and it was ghost magic that was holding it together...and now that they have been "damned", it just starts crumbling down. Interesting...there will be no evidence that such a horrible thing took place...Enough for everyone to doubt it really happened. Hm...

Est and her terrible sense of humor. Never change, my dear. I guess the once the twins left, the mansion...gave up the ghost. Huehuehue.

Hm, and Virtue crumbles in a very Umineko-esque way...Leaving no evidence behind. Again, there's no evidence that such horrors really occurred...I wonder if they will think it was an awful dream? I suppose that's Cilan's mindset, given his disbelief of ghosts. He might've rationalized it that way...or not...

I wish Virtue's awful deeds had been ventured into more via flashbacks and dialogue, but maybe its better that the children and company never knew until that point, because they wouldnt have helped him, otherwise. I mean, he's pretty much unforgivable at this point. I mean, really? Sacrificing innocent Trainers with bright futures ahead of them to take care of a job you can't do yourself because...you were part of the problem. Ironic name is ironic, I guess.

I worry for Paul and Ash. I mean, Paul is kind of a jerk, so he might brush it off and casually break it, and I'm not sure if the gravity of it really hit Ash. Oh well, hopefully Dawn and Trip keep them in line, and remind them of their vows. Not that it matters...But I'll get to that later.

Not sure if Virtue really cared for Illyana, or just projected his feelings for Darlene onto her...Hm...

AND ENTER PRISM! Good God, are the interactions between him and Raven glorious. There is no fourth wall to save you from these self-aware aliens of this universe!

All the same, Prism's attitude towards Virtue's awful behavior is just...ugh. I've already called his behavior unforgivable, yet Prism ignores it all because he wants to play a little game...Even Raven says that it's crazy! At least Virtue is smart enough to smell a trap at first, but he's so thirsty for hope, get accepts the ludicracy of it all... "Second chance" my BUTT.

(Also, I think you mean READING the story, not RINGING the story)

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! Prism cleans up everything so there is no evidence whatsoever. Although, I honestly doubt everyone would just forget...Regardless of the promise and it's consequences., they will keep their word. Or at least Ash will. Because he kissed someone, for Christ's sake, I doubt he would just forget that. The same applies to Trip, and considering his back story, I doubt this venture really caused any innocence to be lost. But who knows?

Either way, interesting ending choice. The ironies were spectacular, and at the end of it all, it gave me something to think about. Neat.

The description was kind of lacking, though. I mean, you've got an M on this baby, you could go all the way with it all...There were also a few "ringing" grammatical and spelling mistakes but there really weren't a whole lot that were immersion breaking...(I'm sorry, I had to)

Overall, a satisfying end to a satisfyingly grim tale. Hope to see more from you...AmeNeko out!

lol tis could be a Nice Comic XD

*wheezes* I have returned.

Very interesting climax/conclusion you gave us! All of these spiritual references and powers utilized by the different characters are kind of overwhelming without much explanation given, but I suppose that's another story for another time, I hope?

They all seem awfully calm that their friend was trapped in a painting, and I'm kind of surprised that Ash wasn't totally traumatized by what he witnessed, but...how much did he see, and how much did he register? Maybe the shock made it him forget/block it out? Good for Ash for being at least kind of concerned that he was changed while unconscious. He didn't seem too bothered by that in Seizensetsu, but different circumstances, I guess?

Pleasantly surprised that Paul and Dawn were kept relatively in character, especially give their current situation.

Suddenly Ash's aura, again...Is he doing it unconsciously? I guess so. Some description or acknowledgement of this ignorance would be nice; some comment and his bewilderment, or something.

I think more build up to Cilan's whole, "I AM HAVING A MORAL DILEMMA" shtick would have made his final decision more effective. I know the story was suppossed to be short, but hell...It also would have been kind of interesting for his split-personality to kick in and just be like, "oh have it your way snark snark snark" or something. Just something to make his choice and overall role in the story more powerful.

You did a really great job with the dialogue between Alma, Alastor, and Virtue. The childish vocabulary and speech for the twins and honest, cheesy, and kind of old-fashioned (but earnest) talk for the elder were really fitting. It all clicked together super well.

Badassery from Est telling Alma what's what and breaking free by herself. This is why I love her so much. Also, Illyana's reward. Oh Est, you silly goof.

Why does Ash think that giving Alastor the creepy affection that he wants (and he doesn't know if Trip is alright with that or not, considering it's his body...), and not just hugging it out of him, or something more...idk, Ash-like? Than again, Ash IS an idiot, so I suppose the blatant implications of this action was lost on him entirely...but you seemed to convey he knew not was affection...but...I'm not sure anymore.

Either way, the kiss was surprisingly adorable, especially Trip's whole, "take responsibility" comment. Glad to see their relationship go places. I hope Ash realizes that what he has done, and perhaps starts to feel like something's different between them.

He doesn't want to wait eight more years for his knight in shining armor. /killed

The finale was surprisingly heartwrenching. The poor twins know that they are wrong, finally, and they know they'll be punished accordingly. And they're just children, too...Breaks my heart a bit, not going to lie.

Overall, pretty good job. The descriptions of the battles and whatever, I think, are the only big issue I had. Your narration can be self-aware, but don't leave everything else unpolished. You need to be descriptive with emotional and fervered scenes; you have the concepts and dialogue, all you need is the execution.

Great job, Pepper, expect the final review soon. :D

Awe I Hope you make a fanfiction when Ash and Trip finally get together great story

Excelente historia.
En verdad me alegra que la terminaras
Espero gustosa otro yaoi de pokemon :3
Nos leemos :D

Virtue is the same name as the guy who won the unova league

"The twins dressed Trip up as a young butler while Est seemed to be dressed up as a young maid. On further inspection though, one could say they were actually cosplaying from a certain psychological series."

I see what you did there.

This chapter was simply gruesome. Granted Dawn is a character I do not like in the slightest, I still couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for her. That is some pretty disgusting torture to go through (though her pitiful crying made me feel less sympathy). I'm kind of glad you didn't go out with the moving head. That scene disturbed me in Umineko for weeks and I didn't have the courage to touch that anime for quite some time.

I think that you really should have made this chapter more detailed, though. I had some trouble imagining some of the scenes you laid out because of vague descriptions. It doesn't have to be flowery, just straightforward so anyone can picture it in their mind with needing to watch the original clip.

There were a few grammatical issues here and there, more from typing too fast and accidentally missing the error when proofreading than anything else, I'd say. Some sentences were too unclear because of the mistakes made.

But this was a pretty interesting chapter all the same. I hope more comes up soon, because I wonder what happened to Paul...

(I also do not enjoy Cameron's antics, and I'm glad someone else agreed.)

please update really soon!)

O-M-G ... NOOO! I swear I despair with Dawn! I felt so sorry TTATT and Loathing ...
I guess Dawn abuse hurts because she's not a bad person (though I suppose you did that because you do not like it), does not deserve something so cruel. Paul ... either, but if he is not cruel and it hurts so much to see in this situation XD
This episode disturbed me a lot ... Dawn although I accept that I found very brave to accept the terms to have seen as was Paul.
Dawn is Darline? I swore it would be someone else! I was not surprised, but not expecting it XD
I look forward to the next chapter: 3
We read :D

This chapter made me want to upchuck my lunch! Although no matter how gross it was, I still enjoyed reading it.

I'll be looking foward to your next update.

Haven't read your stories in a while, so I gotta say that this chapter left me in suspense! I'm anxious to know what happens next and how Ash and the gang will rescue Trip and Est.

Can't wait for your next update on this story.

Hola!
Yo no hablo ingles y me lei este fic por traductor de google y tambien traducire este review XDXD primero iniciare con esto...
ME ENCANTO, en verdad... me lei todos tus fics Kodashipping y los ame :DD en especial este! Trip es un Kudere, en eso tienes toda la razon!
Al parecer a ti no te agrada Paul ni Dawn, la verdad yo los adoro a ambos (pero tengo que aceptar que Paul es un perra), aunque no me gustan tanto como pareja... pero ahora lo unico que puedo pensar el TIENEN QUE SALVAR A PAUL! Presiento que Dawn va a ser quien lo salve y de ahi aparece el Ikarishipping (aunque yo prefiera el Barry x Paul y me cueste mucho ver a Paul con alguna pareja hetero)... La verdad yo si me puedo imaginar a Paul como damisela en peligro (aqui lo es) y en esta situcion (victima de violacion), cuando un chico viola a una chica es feo, pero pienso que es igual de feo que una chica viole a un chico... el simple hecho de obligar a alguien a tener relaciones es horrible y con Paul, pues, el es orgulloso y ahora de seguro debe sentirse como solo una perra barata que es usado para la sadisfaccion de otra persona y con el orgullo hasta los suelos (debe ser chocante).
Y sospecho que la rencarnacion de Darlene es Ash... tendria demasiado sentido :DDD Aunque es tu fic, tu decides... solo espero que Dawn, Ash y los demas puedan rescatar a Paul y liberar a Trip y Est.
Owww! Y Ash esta furioso con esos gemelos y CON RAZONES! Esoso tipos vengativos son unos malditos y Ash no permitiria que lastimen a sus amigos y a su amado (aunque Ash no se halla dado cuenta XDXD).
Espero realmente ansiosa el proximo capitulo :D
Nos leemos :D
- Traductor de google/Google Translate -
Hello!
I do not speak English and I read this fic by google translator and translate this review also XDXD first embark with this ...
Amazing and Beautiful, really ... I read all your fics Kodashipping and love: DD especially this! Trip is a Kudere, in that you're absolutely right!
Apparently you do not like Paul and Dawn, the truth I love them both (but I have to accept that Paul is a bitch), but not as much as I like a couple ... but now all I can think about the MUST SAVE PAUL! I feel that Dawn will be the one to save and there appears Ikarishipping (although I prefer the Barry x Paul and it costs me a lot to see Paul with a straight couple) ... Actually I do I can not imagine Paul as a damsel in distress (here it is) and this situción (rape victim), when a guy rapes a girl is ugly, but I think it's just as ugly as a girl raped a guy ... simply forcing someone to have sex is horrible and Paul, then, is proud and now must surely feel just a cheap bitch that is used for someone else's sadisfaccion and pride to soils (must be shocking).
And I suspect that is the reincarnation of Darlene Ash ... would make little sense: DDD Although your fic, you decide ... I just hope that Dawn, Ash and the others can rescue and release Paul and Est Trip
Owww! And Ash is furious with those twins and with reason! Esoso vengeful types are accursed and allow Ash not hurt his friends and his beloved (though Ash is not realized XDXD).
I look forward to the next chapter really: D
We read: D

"OH! And there's more! With no friends and family to turn to except this handsome man named Kurtz, you've been on your own since your Pokémon journey started and you were fine with being alone until you met that one boy I tried to fuck in your body."

This part never fails to amuse me :) I dunno why. Anyways nice chapter! Can't wait until the next!

Lovely chapter...I guess...?

The plot begins to thicken; Trip's true feelings might be pushed out by Alma it seems. The blood in the teapot...I don't want to know where they got it. But having Est fight backs shows her spunk once again. Go Est!

Aaaand Trip is the damnsel once again. Only instead of being screwed, like in Seizensetsu, he's being forced to injure/kill somone he barely knows. Speaking of screwing over.

The sexual descriptions. What happened *shot*

The paragraphs have become much longer, and the writing is continuing to improve. I like where this is going! Well done!