I really like your stories, but I noticed the over reaching theme seems to be nothing happening between them. Just plot. No real inner monologue throughout about feelings and then BAM! Last chapter they confess their undying love and get together.

I actually read this story last, rather than first, but trust me, it was another corker. It’s a shame you didn’t allow her magic back, but you have dovetailed that fact into part of the denouement well.

I really like the first part of the story, the short chapters and flow gives a nice touch of suspense. The latter part is quite nice, however, the first part stayed with me after reading it first a couple of years ago.

That was a good first fanfic. Looking forward to reading more of your stories

This is fantastic! Hard to believe it's your first, it's masterful. I loved their slow building friendship, the scene where she breaks down and embraces him at the door is awesome. His reaction to the situation differing from hers was well done as well. Thanks! Can't wait to read more of your work!

Merlin, Severus, for someone so smart you can be extremely clueless.

Am I canon blind? Watched the movies, hated them. Started to read the first book, hated it. So, mostly for the books, yes.

"Hermione woke up." I'm not sure you could have picked a more boring first line to this story. The first line is the most important on the whole story because it's what draws the reader to either keep reading or go find something else and with this opening line, you'll get more of the former than the latter.

The second paragraph is much better, it gives a great and beautiful visualization for the room but it could have been much better if you hadn't mentioned who "she" was in the first line, could have been some great show instead of tell there.

A few or the verbs when she got out of bed are a tad dull like swung and stretched. More complex verbs can creat not only a more interesting story but better flow and visualization.

I like how you put "It wasn't there" in it's own paragraph even though grammar rules don't demand it. This creates much better emphasis on the apparently important paragraph and makes it more suspenseful.

The next paragraph's voice and flow correctly sets the mood and suspense that the scene demands and tells us more of the scene than the actual words could ever dream of having.

"The house was quiet" being it's own paragraph creates the same effect as I talked about earlier for "It wasn't there" and I'm glad you didn't go with the cliche adding that it's "too quiet". I get so annoyed by that.

The next paragraph also gives great visualization but I would remove the last sentence that there was no sign of her parents anywhere. You already did a good job showing that and straight telling it add nothing to the story and pulls us out of the story for a few moments.

I don't understand how she could have known they went somewhere warm without being told. I'd either remove that or explain what evidence she has for that information that is placed in so confidentiality. Maybe that they took clothes like shorts and tee-shirts? At least something.

I love your Tetris metaphor but it's very creative, original, and it makes sense.

I also like the assumption that they left because they wouldn't be safe there. It makes sense but also leaves the question of why she was left there which is a great think as long as you have an answer. If you don't, then it's a terrible mistake.

Not a big fan of how you referred to nothing more threatening than Mr. Hodges and the postman. I think it would be better to say. "Nothing threatening, just..."

By following it with her deciding that she wasn't going to be ambushed, makes either this paragraph or the whole thing before it kind of pointless filler which is never a good thing. The same goes for the character about Crookshanks.

The next paragraph is mostly covering the questions I was already wondering though it does add curiosity that she doesn't remember anything about school. And now we have more curiosity about everything that's missing in addition to what I was thinking with all the dust everywhere. I suspect involvement of the time turner.

The panic not panic and realization that she has made it through worse is a very nice touch and I would like to see where that goes and her run through of what she does know is a great technique for this that was smart for not only her but you.

It's very interesting to see the list of what she does know but maybe it could be cut down somewhat? Just a suggestion. Not that the rest are orders.

Your ending is much better than the beginning, you have set a great off hook for the first paragraph and does help us want to read more.

Overall, for a first chapter this is… honestly a tad boring. While it does set quiet a few curiosities, it doesn't set very high expectations for the rest of the chapters. I wouldn't have continued reading this even if I DID like Harry Potter.

This is a great fanfic and you are right to not give back the magic to Hermione. in fact unluckily isnt always perfect can bear loss of magic better than most for being muggleborn 3. The magic world needs a good psychologist, true.
:-)thx

Meh. Was expecting more...was waiting for it to grab me and it never did.

This was an interesting story. I enjoyed reading it.

You are so right, life isn't perfect and it's good to read a story where people are happy without perfection and appreciate all they have. Grown-up Harry outwitting Snape was brilliant fun. My favourite line was 'Snape entered the hospital like an avenging angel'. I also loved the idea of East Enders being Snapes guilty pleasure.

Lovely story - thank you for not giving her magic back. It would have ruined it in my opinion. Loved the story x

Great story, enjoyed this very much!

Great story, great ending! Thanks for sharing it with us

I can't believe that this is your first fanfic... and that it's bloody over. And I'd just got out a glass of wine and everything! ;)

Seriously lovely stuff with, elements that even I know are in character - Hermione fastidiously being a half an hour earlier for everything and George having something to do with lame decorations (lol.)

And as I've demonstrated in 1998, I freaking adore Neville and will happily sigh over any fic in which somebody appreciates the darling boy for being awesome.

[She gave... blinking...] From the context here it's not certain who is the one blinking, though I'm guessing it's Luna, who's just come in.

[outsides] Regionalism or typo?

I love the contrast between the "menacing" figure and Hermione's sweet gesture; the smell of lavender in particular is an interesting touch as it's not something I would have thought to associate with Snape (I've never smelled asphodel, as far as I know, unless I know it under another name. My sole acquaintance with it is from pre-Raphaelite poetry ;))

I really liked the reference to everyone more or less running the gamut from "jumpy" to full-blown PTSD, though there's one thing I might reconsider BECAUSE I AM A BACKSEAT WRITER (ugh, sorry, I'm annoying.) If Snape is bad enough in this to seriously hurt anyone foolish enough to try it, I think that unfortunately would apply to Hermione as well, and it might be a sign of her understanding of him that she knows he has this issue and respects the fact that you don't sneak up on him. Or something. You know these characters better than I do x

"My love" is so nicely in-character for Snape, as is Hermione's much less formal language.

And can I just say I'm really pleased you didn't give Hermione her magic back? I applaud your point, and think that a way of "fixing" her would betray the point that sometimes, life doesn't go the way we planned and not everything can be fixed with a spell.

Ooh, is that a reference to Flood?

Very much enjoyed this xx