Thia is pretty good, I hope you are reading this.

This is quite an impressive piece of work. The way you made the PMMM mythos eventually lead to a 40K-like theocratic setting is very believable, and I like your take on it. I love Diana's dialog, witty and snarky and her development from a nobody into the Servant feels well well-developed.

Now on to the nitpicks.

First of all, your spelling, grammar and command of vocabulary is excellent. However, in Ch8 there were some missing spaces during Hashal's speech that I wasn't sure if it was intentional to call attention to his unnatural speech patterns or if they were genuine typos. For example, "I've gotten irritationdown very proficiently" and "I know everythingthat happens, and it's quite rare when I can't use the emotion irritationto express my response".

Other reviewers have mentioned that your dialog sometimes comes off as similar, and I agree with that. I'm not sure what else I can add to this, so I'll just leave it at that.

I also agree with another reviewer that Akira's death seems somewhat contrived or forced, simply for the drama/impact. I feel that she was behaving out of character, and had no motivation to just languish and die in the end like that. Just a moment before, Diana had used all her effort to get Akira to safety, and the last time we saw her alive she was already on a drone with May. The next time we see Akira, she's back at the bridge again? How did that happen? And the situation seemed so contrieved that the demons that Diana slew all did not bear a single grief cube to save Akira? In any case, you've managed to get me all worked up on the death of a fictional character, so well done.

One last thing. I hate to sound like a typical "update soon plzzz" reviewer here, but I have to say that it'll be a shame if this story never gets completed, so I hope that you have not completely abandoned this marvellous piece of work.

I could have sworn this was labeled as complete when I started reading it, but apparently it's not, and now I am left with this incredibly depressing chapter end. I shall have hope, though, that this will update eventually, because I was blown away by how you somehow did megucas in space and completely sold me on the concept. Like, wow, super creative, and I love all the characters, and I'm terrible at being more in-depth for these reviews, but this was basically absolutely fantastic, and I can't wait to read however this is gonna conclude.

This is really damn interesting. Every one of your characters are fairly also interesting(Maria D'arco my favorite by far. dunno why just like her) the chemisty between characters is also perfect in my opinion. Great fanfic.

Finally, Akira...NOOO! :(

That's really interesting. I really liked it.

Whereas its a very interesting story and idea, would anyone of the canon characters actually /actually/ appear? As in, not mentioned in conversations, thought, description but actually be there in the story and interact with these OCs? Though excuse me for using the word 'OC' but I don't really think 'new characters' fit it. Future characters? Anyways, I would like to know that about I continue on. I had read another future-ish fic like this one (no offense to the other author, but honestly, I quite like this 'Free Sky' a lot more.) and God, Goddess, Madoka, 25 chapters and more into the fic and still no canon characters. Not a concrete mention of them. I really felt cheated, tricked, and reading a fic in the wrong category. An original fic in a fandom. And seriously, that pissed me off. I want a Puella Magi Madoka Magica fanfic, not an original fic even if it's disguise as a fanfic or one that has a possible link to the anime. That's why, please give me a confirmation if this fic is indeed what I am looking for and worth reading. Thanks.

Wow, Okay. Well written, interesting, a fun plot and fun characters. I eagerly await more. I don't know why this has so few reviews, but possibly due to lack of exposure, I'll see if I can rectify that.

This story is, in a word, fantastic. Three faithless protagonists in a world where faith is the only thing that will save you, a man who refuses to leave all the fighting to the magical girls and manages to b e competent at it despite his insecurities, a space opera without the bloated technological fluff. 6/5.

SO.

First, well done, you've produced a nicely cohesive work. All the characters feel properly natural, or at least like they're living their characterizations. I do feel like Kaname-san is a little odd, but he rocks his oddity to whatevs. Also, the fact that Diana is Greekish is pretty cool, considering Diana Artemis Goddess of the Hunt. So we have Diana the Magical Girl who's supposed to basically be a Demigod in the service of an ACTUAL Goddess in a pantheon of Life and Death and Good and Evil (I assume), which really starts to get rather freakish and Percy-Jackson-esque, which is nice and I want to see more.

Now, on the other hand, May's characterization is weird and I can't get a good fix on it. I can't tell if that was your goal if your trying for one thing and not really achieving it, but the end result is rather muddled. Additionally, I feel like there's really no reason to make Akira die, nor is there a reason for she and Diana to have any romance. I think that if you wanted to actually make that a thing, a bit more build up is necessary. I also don't really see why you did this other than for a wham factor, but it's kinda like... why this, when we've already seen Diana accept her death earlier? That tugged some serious heartstrings, and I was like "Oh holy fuck" because here we have a girl who's feared death all the way, but now has overcome that in the most depressing and fatalistic way possible. All fairly minor quibbles, however, as they don't get in the way of anything and, while it seems like a lot of criticism, these are all things you can gloss over and just keep in mind for the next thing.

However, things to seriously consider: Descriptions. I didn't even know Diana's costume was Greco-Roman until it was mentioned, like, this chapter. If you're going to use clothing as symbolism then you neeeeeeed to linger on it. Also, personally, I animate all scenes according to a personal mental image, so when you say "fields of wheat" I get the idea and move on. But I really feel like there's some issues with that, namely that you run the high risk of losing the atmosphere, which forces the story towards characterization and plot. This is not a thing that will shatter your structure, but it IS a weakness. If you make a plot hole by accident, it is more easily noticed because more strikingly odd, since the reader is still in a more objective mindset. Conversely, if the reader is just as panicked as the character, that sort of plot hole is relatively minor. The same is true with characterization, and I feel like I wouldn't have minded May's oddities as much if I was able to focus more on the general feel of the story.

Now, temper that criticism with the issue of pacing. To return to compliments, your pacing and your transitions are fairly fantastic. What you do right now is limited only by the fact that you don't have VAs saying the lines. Otherwise, each character is unique and you use that uniqueness to set up scenes extremely well, moving them along at a good pace that matches the tension in the plot, and generally doing a good job. I especially enjoyed the transition a few chapters back when Diana is like "oh holy SHIT, they hate each other let's poke it with a stick" at Christine and Maria and their... passive aggressive bickering? I guess? Anyway, that was a really nice transition. Also a really excellent in character line from Diana. "I... I want to interrupt them" -Heeeee.

So, really, the problem now is that if you keep the pacing right, you run a serious risk of losing the description I think you need, but if you do the description you have serious risk of making the pacing sludge up. It's a delicate balance that's not unlike navigating a minefield, but I think you can do it. You seem like someone who can pull that sort of thing off.

Anyway, that's all I really have to say on the matter thus far. Good work, and keep it up!

Now, i'm really liking the character of Christine, though I did notice (as others have pointed out) that some of your characters seem to talk in the same way, which isn't all that bad, that is until you to a scene where everyone is trying to talk at once and you can't tell who is who unless it's specifically stated who is who. Just been on the lookout for that in the future.

Again, no mistakes that I could catch. As such, I won't bother looking for them too closely in the next chapters, since I know you've done a good job looking your work over. Well done. It's really getting me interested now. I now also hope that there are cameos from the original cast of characters, but it's a fleeting wish, really. Given the setting and all.

Ah, as for my first review of the story, I will say that perhaps (as others have said) breaking them up between more chapters would be a good idea. Of course, it's purely up to you. I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes, or at the least, very little. As for Diana, I like her so far. The setting, I'm assuming the future, is a refreshing world I hope you can expand more. Well, we'll just have to see won't we? :D

Hi! I'm an archiver over at the Reviews Lounge, Too, and recently RandomNumbers523156 gave us a heads-up that your work was both great and underreviewed.

And I agree with him!

I'm not familiar with this fandom at all, but it only slightly affected my enjoyment of this first chapter.

Spelling, grammar and punctuation were all pretty much impeccable. I know that sounds like damning with faint praise, but your style was so confident and so correct and so mature and so fluid that it made for a truly great reading experience. I didn't read on eggshells, waiting for a mental bump in the form of punctuation that didn't gel, etc. Simply great :)

Diana is a very relatable POV character, especially in the beginning where things are more "normal"; she's not overbearing, but she doesn't disappear either. Her dialogue, especially when she's feeling threatened or Yoshio is being reckless, is top-knotch and utterly believable.

(Minor quibble: epithets. While they're needed in the part of the narrative while we still don't know Yoshio's name, "the teenager" is used at least seven times in only a couple of paragraphs, which got distracting...)

I laughed out loud with that remark about the art club being so cool that he's the only member of it, and Diana's sharp sense of humour/sarcasm was great throughout. Christine I didn't get much of an idea of, but it's early days in the narrative so there's that.

And a truly tense action sequence at the end, with zippy writing and marvellously true details like Diana bunching her pants in her fists. It's stuff like that that draws in a fandom-blind reader and shows your worth as a writer of any fandom or genre.

In fact, the only flaw I think worth commenting on is this: the chapter's great, but it's pitilessly long. When the scroll tab turns into a slit, some readers may be backing out (even if only under time restraints.) I don't know if there's anything you could or would do about it now, but perhaps worth considering in the future.

But this is excellent work, so consider it duly archived.

I must say that it was a very good chapter, good to see your fic back. I liked that it went overkill in that archdemon. But even so, Akira's death scene was pretty sad, at least she didn't die alone. Again, an excelent chapter, but I wonder why the serpent allowed Diana to live (for what? to get her more despair? that plan is likely to backfire). Also, I found funny the jab at Evangelion. Keep going!

Nice to see this story updated, interested to see how you will end a story on this galactic scale. Also good to know you haven't given up on Last seen tethered as I want my Homura fix XD