A very compelling first chapter

Dude (or Dudette), this is awesome! I would like to read more! :)

Good story so far keep going can't wait to read chapter 3

Great chapter aside from the odd typo - that's to be expected though!

First all, I feel like I have to warn you about teenagers as assassins - that can come off really amateurish if you're not careful, so I'd say keep the assassins in quite a small group, and have as few teenagers as possible... just because they're a recruit, it doesn't mean they're young remember.

I was interested in how different Desmond is - he never seemed to want to take control of the assassins, he was more or less roped into it... maybe he's just matured into it I guess... it'll be interesting to see why.

I loved the idea of the hideout being below central park, and Desmond's line 'Oh, that was one time!' is pretty spot-on! Although I think you could've had a small mention of something happening to Lucy instead of outright saying he killed her - it could've been brought up again later in the story. I really liked Desmond's reaction though - class!

Looking forward to the next chapter... if you're interested in a Templar's POV however, check out my story - The Knights Templar ;)

Once again, kudos on a great chapter and keep it up!

good chapter

I really liked this - a bit of constructive criticism though, and it's not so much about what you did wrong - I liked all of it, it's really well written, it's more about what you didn't put in:

- The Templar attacking Troy seemed kind of random; it was way too short, and seemed kind of thuggish(?) compared to how the Templar agents are meant to be professional and elite agents. I feel like you could've built on that chase/fight scene much MUCH more

- Desmond's offer seemed, once again, a little random - there didn't seem to be much build up towards it. His summary of the Assassin/Templar war was a little rushed as well - Troy could have asked questions about it, separating the dialogue a bit and making it seem a little more realistic, instead of one paragraph that sums up the franchise - also, the line "it's not like I have anything better to do, right?" really annoyed me for some reason - but I'm just nitpicking there though.

That's all I had a problem with though - I feel like you could've written so much more on this, and it could only be better - not to say that it's not already very good!

Lovely, mate! Keep going on!

Great chapter I loved it!

This is good! It's really good so far and you could go a lot of places with it! I'm excited to see the revamped version because I am a huge fan of mismatched-lover's work! She's a good friend to me too so I know if She's helping someone there stories gotta be pretty good! I'm very excited though to see where u take this! You have earned yourself a new reader!

Another awesome chapter!

I can't wait for the next one!

This chapter is superb. Keep up the great work.

Keep on writing, I love this story

This chapter is fantastic. Your fight scenes were superb. Keep up the awesome work.

I like where the story is going but I would like to see a bit more length in the posts. Other than that I like it, nice job.