magic space jesus

NICE FANFIC

One can see Shmi debating what to do after having Anakin, and having taken percautions to avoid pregnancy all together. Nice stuff, full of "harsh reality" missing from the canon.

"Because she hadn't wanted to curse a child to her fate, she had taken measures, painful measures that should have been effective, to prevent such a thing in case something happened." Excellent premise!

Dear Lucillia:

I think the core of this story is sound, but there are a few things you'll need to polish before it qualifies for the C2. For one thing, you don't seem to me to make it clear what you mean by Shmi "taking measures"; since that's a large part of the story's point, I'd prefer if you clarified it. (And, if it's a reference to some form of contraception, you may want to ensure that the story doesn't seem to be endorsing that practice in general; remember what I said about not embarrassing our patron.) Also, I see where the "virgine" element appears, but I'm not sure about the "novus" and the "forti"; you may want to underline those a bit more. And, finally, the ending seems very weak; if you could strengthen it somehow, I think that would be a good thing.

Sincerely,
Qoheleth

great one-shot story!

well dam, Im guessing you don't go to the theory that it was all Plageuis faut right? but still a nice little look, I especially like the little comment about smothering the baby, it adds a lot to it, a lot of dimenshion to Shimi besides the virtuios grand mother thing.

Poor Shmi.