This is really bad, but in the best way possible, I really hope you decide to update again. plz bro im cryung :((((((

Wish this continued:/

Whyqhy is everyone so mean and rude to the creator. It’s really interesting and a cool idea. And I hope that Mellra you know that this is an amazing fanfic.

yo why are so many people so mean, just flat bm

Almost every paragraph of chapter 7 is missing the last sentences meaning it’s unfinished... I don’t know if it happened afterwards but there are many incomplete sentences

The scenes of Luffy getting caught by a bird and not getting out of the cage faster where somewhat in Luffy’s nature since he sometimes is too stupid to be think BUT the scene where he was sent through buildings by the Lion was too forced because in the canon it happened since Luffy was still caged so he was caught by surprise the moment he was set free but since you yourself said that this Luffy has greater instincts due to his Devil Fruit, it’s unreasonable for Luffy to take that hit and even more so when he was not caged and fully prepared to fight... I understand that you wanted to make it so that it’s close to the timeline while changing a few things but well, this was ONE of THOSE times which you HAD to change since he was no longer caged and wouldn’t be caught in a sneak attack when released AND because of his heightened instincts...

The fighting style is very interesting, good work

Great start and I saw a mistake there, between Gol D. Roger’s death and Shanks meeting with Luffy was 12 years and not 10 years, just so that doesn’t create confusion, anyway awesome chapter

Really ?1 of the spikes hit a vein that’s your explanation ,this Luffy is a fucking pussy then and his attacks are weak ,am done with this shit

Sorry but this is boring me to death

Sorry but this is trash ,and a pairing nobody gives a damn about too , SKIP!

here's my three guesses your nanny trump ooh ooh I know I know a whale with a beauty complex

I already have 20 dialogue pieces that fluffy could say about alvida its not even funny

big plot hole you wrote any so why not a sea king

The one thing I don't like about this...there is such a thing as TOO MUCH DESCRIPTION less saying "he did this he said this" and more actually making conversations.