I think I'm going to like this Monty Mole character :)
I feel like Kody will get corrupted by all the trauma and turn bad...but now you got me wondering if Kody is already a bit messed up in the end. Nice! An actual real murder this time in the Shiver Region! My guess is the wife actually killed him. Can't wait to see what you do with this arc, kaii!

*SPOILERS AHEAD* Arc #1 (Chapters 1-8): Northern Knights Castle

First, let me sum up my thoughts with this arc: Amazing. It sets up the adventurous, dramatic, and comedic tone of Act 1 of the fanfic well, it was generally very funny, and I loved the cast ensemble as well! The cast may have seemed random at first, but I got used to it, and best of all: They all got equal amounts of time. A big problem with fanfics that have large casts is that they generally don’t have much time to do stuff or show personality, so it’s refreshing that this fanfiction can make me see the characters as… well CHARACTERS as opposed to being plot devices (well, MOST characters, anyway). You really have a gift for this sort of thing.

This story makes you go back and makes you realize just how intricate this story really is and how much it's grown, which is one of the hallmarks of a good story. Characters like DK, Rosalina, Waluigi, Fire Bro., etc. really grow, though in some characters’ cases partake in generally well-written plot twists. One gripe, is how it sets Merlon up as this mysterious, important figure when… his potential is kinda wasted. This is the same with R.O.B. (I know they’re a robot but it’s a shame they have virtually no characterization, especially considering their portrayal in Smash Bros. which was pretty nice). I’ll get to Merlon later, though.

Next, let’s talk about Fire Bro., one of this story’s most important characters later on. His characterization as an insane, erratic, random goofball would be annoying in the wrong hands, but the character’s reactions to him and his sincerity in his randomness actually makes him one of the funniest characters during this arc. This is good, as his characterization later down the line benefits because of it.

On the other hand, I didn’t really like Peach at first because her stupidity started to get to the point of being annoying. I’m glad she has a more well-rounded personality later on, because unlike Fire Bro., Peach’s randomness was obnoxious and the reactions got old fast. I’m glad her personality carried over to Watt in later chapters, as it fits Watt being a baby fairly well, so it becomes cute.

The main villain, who we all know is Tatanga, has a decent presence as a villain who can upstage Bowser. Though villains one-upping Bowser happens pretty often in the Paper Mario series, I actually think it’s better written here since I think Bowser is written badly in Paper Mario games post Paper Mario 64 (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door’s Bowser was only decent in my opinion but it only went downhill from there to Super Paper Mario, which in my option had bad characterization everywhere, but I digress). Bowser here is still competent enough and focuses more on the family aspect of him, rather than Paper Mario games treating him as a harmless wannabe villain. However, I will say that I don’t like Tatanga’s backstory, I like his personality, presence but not his backstory. I’ll explain why later on when it becomes relevant. Anyway, his character feels human and the fact that he makes mistakes and has moments where he can be awkward and bumbling is really refreshing compared to how characters like Grodus and how they are portrayed in their games. Unlike Grodus (in-game, not in-story), Tatanga is interesting.

The Tatanga prisoner segments are very funny due to their fighting and drama going on, as well as how side characters are set up and provide a great introduction to these characters. However, some of the jokes can come off as cringeworthy due to the obnoxiously, err... “crude nature”, for lack of a better term, of them, so seeing such crudeness used so casually comes off as lowbrow compared to this story’s usual humor. It kind of makes it look shallow and shock humor-y at times. Luckily cringey jokes are vastly overweighed by good jokes, so it isn’t THAT much of an issue.

The side villains, i.e. Beldam, Marilyn, Doopliss, Grodus, and Dimentio range from nicely-written to be boring or generic. The Shadow-Duplighost Trio’s dynamics are hilarious and even heartwarming as the story progresses (what Marilyn makes up for being silent, she makes up in being the straight woman to Beldam and Doopliss’ antics), but Grodus and Dimentio are boring and generic respectively. Grodus gets better, specifically when he starts having second thoughts about joining Tatanga when they escape from the castle to the island, but Dimentio will always be a discount Kefka and dime store Fawful to me because his characterization in this draws directly from Super Paper Mario’s characterization of him, which was a generic “evil jester” who cracks half-baked similes for no reason (Fawful’s English- localized speech was meant to parody the Engrish common in older games) to me. So basically, I liked 60% of the side villains during this arc.

The arc winds down nicely with a climactic fight, one thing I really love about this fanfiction is the fight scenes, before transitioning into the hospital for some character banter, which I feel was a good idea as opposed to just sending into the “actual” journey right away. Once again, this is a real nice way to show off characters and how they will tie into the plot later on. My opinion on the Pauline Love Magic and Mimi x Roy portions is that Pauline’s is decent, though I don’t like how jokey it is compared to how it’s treated down the line and it spawned too many repeats of characters cheating on each other. Despite that, I liked how it played out, I just didn’t like it’s “sequels”. Mimi x Roy is actually pretty good, in my opinion. I don’t think that Super Paper Mario characters are good at all in their games. but Mimi was written better here than in the source material and the actual romance is cute; one thing I dislike is how edgy Roy is but he fortunately gets better and it’s at least understandable.

Back on the topic of Merlon, he’s basically a plot device, which is disappointing considering you’re very good at fleshing out characters. I mean, the concept of having a psychic on the team and him having to deal with learning bad or traumatic things about the future could be done well! Unfortunately, that role was placed on Count Bleck later on (I’m extra mad considering that Tippi and Bleck are my least favorite Mario characters, but still) when it makes more sense for Merlon to have that role. Count Bleck himself could have been done better, too, but I’ll save him for the next arc. ’Tatanga could have used Merlon as a way to counteract against the heroes with his psychic abilities, etc. so it’s not like being kidnapped made him irrelevant. I really hate that Tatanga killed him off when there were so many things you could do with him. Rants aside, I think that missed opportunities are a big problem in this story, especially with a “certain” fan-favorite (OK, people weren’t exactly CLAMORING for their return, but every review involving them praised their personality) forgotten character that will show up in the future. Oh well, there’s always the next arc.

“Prologue”:

OK, this is seriously one of the longest fanfictions that I’ve ever seen… Well, I guess I can’t use the word “seriously” when I’ve seen “The Subspace Emissary’s Worlds Conquest”. Unlike that one, I’m close to the “end” (chapter 104 as of now) and will have to wait for more chapters. You see, I’ve binge-read this so I’m used to not having to wait for chapters to come out for this fanfic. I’ll adjust. Enough about that though, I enjoy your fanfictions very much, one of my favorites being your “Mushroom Kingdom Facebook” fanfiction, shame it had to be discontinued :(

I stumbled upon this fanfiction by browsing your profile, saw it’s length, saw that it was ongoing, and thus decided to read. Trust me, I did NOT regret it. This is really great. Before I start my actual reviews, I’ll just say that, while I really enjoy this fanfiction (especially the first “act”, before it’s tone changed, though I do enjoy the latter “act” as well), I have MANY criticisms, as well. Unlike most “big” fanfictions I’ve read, it doesn’t necessarily have to do with chapters becoming low-quality as the story progresses, quite the opposite actually, it mostly has to do with things that have been with the story since the beginning. Without further ado, I’ll begin my reviews a while after this, which will, for the most part, will be arc-based. Oh yeah, and SPOILER ALERTS for those who read these following reviews.

Wow. I started reading this story a week ago and have been binging it. It's absolutely packed with humor and I love it! I can't count how many times I laughed out loud! But there's also the dark side of the coin and after reading this chapter, ... I feel speechless. I absolutely love dark stories, heck even my stories are dark, but man, I feel like my heart's been torn in half. I feel so bad those heroes. So much death. It's absolutely frightening with so much crap that has been going on. They were on a stream of success and now things are turning for the worst. That just makes me want Tatanga to be destroyed even more. You've added so much character development to not just for the main characters, but also the side ones as well, and for that I applaud you. I will surely catch up in no time.

Mysteries you say? Color me intrigued...

I really loved the Pauline and Boshi section. That was really heartfelt. I bet Morton is going to torture that koopatrol straight to hell. Oh yikes...Poor Roy. Just when we thought those three would have an easy escape.

Oh, now I really wonder who Arfur's boss really is, and what's the ultimate goal of Mushroom Corps. Mario was kind of a sleeper player at the beginning of the story, but it looks like he's going to have a major part as well. Now I'm scared for him lol.

I'm really glad Boshi will be joining the team next time they head out, but I'm also pretty sure the tidbit of information that Yoshi gave him will cause lots of drama for the group. It's pretty much a given at this point that Boshi and Dixie will clash one way or another. If it's not for the Shiver City operation, it'll be for the next one.

As for the Koopalings, I think Ludwig is supposed to be the eldest son, but it doesn't matter as long as your story's canon states that he's not. It's a fanfiction anyways, you can pretty much do whatever you want lol. I also consider them his kids too, it gives them more substance rather than being a generic Boom Boom or Pom Pom lol.

I'm kinda liking emo Luigi! I'm curious to see how his snarky attitude will affect the group. I have a feeling Boshi may try to get revenge on Dixie...This does not look good! I'm REALLY excited about this Mushroom Corps arc you have going...I'm curious to know EXACTLY how they tie into all this...I'm guessing they must be like the Mushroom Kingdom version of The Illuminati?

Oh my gosh! This is literally getting dramatic! First of all, yay to Toadette still being alive!

Tbh, I felt the same way as Mario and Peach whenn they confronted about Goombario's parents. At least they have to try and understand them.

Also, I'm very excited about the Mushroom Corps arc and how is Arfur's boss gonna tell Mario what happened behind the scenes.

I'm also surprised at how the Koopalings' age order in this fic was. I wasn't expecting you to follow their age order in the cartoons. XD (Or at least, since Roy's the oldest and Lemmy/Iggy were the youngest before BJ in the old cartoons. Lol) I'm not sure if it's cannon to Nintendo that Ludwig is the oldest and Larry's the youngest koopaling before BJ, but Imma let it slide lol for Mushroom Wars sake.

I'm excited to see how the next arc will play out and the next chapter!

My gosh, the drama! Luigi is taking things a bit too far, lol. i almost felt bad for Daisy. not sure if Kody can be trusted, i'm a bit on the 50-50 side to him. he's a kid, but who knows, he might even be worse than Toadim. i don't know. XD

the meeting tho. sooner or later, Arfur is gonna get caught red-handed. i mean, just look at how everyone starts questioning him, and knowing Luvbi, she asks stuff when she wants to and doesn't stop and that's what the others were doing.

and Konnor, dang I really hope everyone stops him in time. i wouldn't be surprised if they teamed up, but thatt is gonna cause MASSIVE chaos.

i'm excited for the next arc to began, now that there's only 2 (or was it 1? i couldn't count lol) gemstones left, and the final battle is 30 chapters away (imma making a guess here to when's the final battle lol)

also, that reply was unexpected, but i loved it lol. hell, i can't even reach 40 chaps myself and not become exhausted. XD

all in all, good luck!

I wonder what's going to become of Banjo, once he finally finds out that Konnor killed Kazooie.

I really thought Toadette was going to jump off the roof!

I almost feel sorry for Boshi now. He's starting to become a relatable character.

I do hope Arfur spills the beans about Mushroom Corps next chapter.

Lol, I was looking at the character list, and the main group feels so empty compared to what it was before. I wonder how many people will survive by the end of the adventure, if any. Sometimes it feels like Tatanga isn't even the biggest threat to the world since there are so many wild cards in this story.

Good for Mario to finally be able to say what's on his mind. Arfur certainly won't like what's coming next. And now I'm kinda wondering who put cocaine in Boshi's car... I don't think it was Birdo and it doesn't look like it's Yoshi either...? He didn't seem really guilty of anything. But now we know why Boshi is an asshole to everyone.

Luigi also has his issues... Something tells me Kody isn't long for this world, I could totally see Luigi trying to kill him during the next mission. Anyways, I thought Kenneth had died last chapter but I must have mistaken him for someone else. Whatever Clawdia has to say, I'm pretty sure the reception will be mixed.

Really looking forard to next hapter when the group confronts Arfur !

Super fun to read!

Whoa... what a chapter. Dude, and you said that this is almost the end but 40 chapters is still waaaaaaaay too long lmao.

So... I think Clawdia didn't survive that fall, since it wasn't actually seen whether she got out or not, but how the hell did Toadette survived lol.

I can't count how deaths there were, I got sooo carried away lmao. And the fact that these Koopatrols were actually FREAKING ARMED, HOLY CRAP. The amount of grenades in this episode. And i'm surprised that this isn't Tatanga's doing either!

One of the deaths that struck to me was the poor kid... poor Kooper didn't have time to save him. :'( he's just a kid...

And Toad... just when he supported BJ and his sister, he just... dies. And Kylie! OMG! Why!? But... I lowkey ship her with Arfur but I guess it's too late now lol.

Plus the Koopalings! Why did it have to be Iggy and Wendy lol. And imagine all the trauma Wendy had... from the Sonic world and up to now... jeez.

And my favorite character... Bow... why you had to be burned to death... just, why...

Even Birdo, I was so happy that her memory came back, only for her to get killed by that f****** Fire Bro! Argh, I hate him now lol, but he's still entertaining in some ways... XD

The cast is crazy right now. I don't know how am I gonna handle this crap... and oh! I'm so glad that that Toadim asshole is dead. Go Fly Guy! I wonder if he'll be part of the cast soon.

There are a lot of deaths I wanna talk about but I'm getting sleepy lol so I'll leave it here. Can't wait for the next chapter though!

Hey, it’s not an issue that you posted this later than expected! You posted this on the same day that you posted chapter 1!