I hate it when any story gets abandoned.

More please

interesting

I wonder if there are any readers who DIDN'T guess who Ranma's past life was... assuming it was his past life he saw and not some more magic he picked along the way.

So, Ranma is Queen Serenity...

this is interesting, it seams as if Ranma is the reincarnation of Queen Serenity, i am looking forward to reading what happens next

please update soon, you have an awesome story here :)

Excellent

Hummmm, i cant give a jugement on this story yet, I need to see more.

But you should be careful with Ranma, he just used a forbiden technique that he sweared on his honor to not use. And while she is under the Umisiken, I got the impression that Ranma was almost out of character. Almost. So yeah, I need to see some more of this story to say if its good or not.

good start ne

I wonder if Ranma is a non-practicing Buddhist or more likely just borrow those that apply to his life. If so, then unlike other fics he might just regard it simply as proof of that aspect of that religion is true and it is one of his past reincarnations possibly among many that he happened to regain and perhaps coincidentally or not he can make use of the information in this life. Also while it is not normally explored in other fics the idea of figuring out a way to be able to pass his memories onto his future reincarnations might be tempting as it might insure that any wisdom and skills gained is not lost. Instead of having to worry about heirs (or their claim to it) like Cologne and Happosai (somewhat doubtful about him), he can freely pass on the knowledge and knowing that when his soul reincarnates then he or she can develop it further pass it on anew even if all the knowledge dies out. Kind of his soul is his guaranteed future heir. He just needs to make sure there are some time capsules/caches for his future reincarnations (and to update them in the future) and make sure the human race does not go extinct.

I am a bit curious about what Ranma sensed about Kasumi and the role it might play later. Maybe a potential to use magic?

I wonder if Serenity know how to use or make magic outside of the silver crystal or other items. If so, maybe Ranma could make some magic items or incorporate magic into a martial arts style. Maybe a "holy" version of the ki projections and manipulation. For items maybe a "holy" version of some of the items he has already encountered like the Battle Dogi or spirit wards. Maybe even a variant of the wishing sword so it acts like a weak version of the silver crystal that does not risk its user's life but only keyed to his soul.

Ranma might want to double check his memories of his past life appearance and what she looks like in girl form and whether she can pass as her past life (whether or not with a disguise) with regards to these other apparent returned warriors and any security for any remains of the civilization that she might be able to access. If she can't then Ranma probably will not attempt to pass as her since it would just make her look stupid and a liar. This does not prevent her from donning a superhero identity that could completely mask her or his identity. As an example the various Kamen Rider costumes completely cover the body and is padded enough that with sports bra might even conceal changes in gender or make it ambiguous (though a voice changer might be needed). Alternatively if Ranma could somehow obtain a Disguise Pen, taking on disguised identities can be far easier.

Another possibility is if Ranma could enchant a series of costumes with different powers, then maybe Ranma as he or she could be take on the identity and powers of the once popular Rainbowman (who was one of the inspirations for Cutey Honey with the main characters ability to take on different costumed forms with different abilities).

Welcome to , first time author. This story is... not technically bad, but it's not great either. It has some good points and some bad points.

I'll break it down and do this review in three parts. First, the plot. Honestly, not enough has happened here yet in the less than 2000 words for me to really evaluate it. It seems rather standard fare for a Ranma fanfic; Ranma fights father, has breakfast, is launched by Akane over something stupid, lands somewhere far away, and something wierd happens (aka crossover event). The little details you've added make it a little more interesting, with Ranma seeming to be the reincarnation of Queen Serenity... though I would hope you give us some explanation for /how/ that happened, instead of just handwaving it in like Ozzallos did in his "Heir to the Empire". Overall, though, I'd have to say 'Write more' before I can really say whether the plot is going to be interesting, or just more of the same tripe that's been written dozens of times before.

Second, grammar and spelling. Here, I'm going to have to be rather harsh. This fic was difficult to read. Your paragraphs are peppered with homophones. Your sentence structure is a complete mess. Often, you used a comma and continued the sentence when you should have ended it in a period and started a new sentence, the fic is absolutely littered with run-ons. Sometimes, your sentences were garbled and I had to read them two or three times to figure out what you meant. Often, they were just unnecessarily wordy. Sometimes unnecessary commas were used. Sometimes a necessary comma was absent. A good beta reader can help you with some of this... but at this level, the beta reader would probably be rewriting about 75% of your paragraphs. That might even be a little too generous here... It's probably closer to 90%. Sorry if I'm being blunt here, but your writing needs a LOT of work in this area.

Third, some criticism on some of the details in the fic:

Ranma's use of the Umisenken is very out of place. Granted, he never /actually/ sealed the technique after learning it and using it against Ryu, but he never does use it again in the manga, even at points when it would have really made his life easier. If Ranma was unwilling to use the Umisenken to, say, ensure Akane's survival /before/ throwing down with the phoenix god, I don't think he'd just use it so casually as you have him doing in this fic.

Ranma is entirely too distractable in his fight against his father. Maybe the sight of a peaceful and serene Kasumi and an accompanying memory flash would make him momentarily drop his guard... but you make it seem like he starts to daydream, and that's WAY out of character for him. That's also assuming that he would even notice her in the heat of battle.

Akane's jealousy in this fic has been blown up way out of proportion. Akane is not some monster just looking for any excuse to mallet Ranma. In point of fact, Akane only ever uses the mallet in the anime in one episode... and that was a real mallet, courtesy of Kodachi when she first used it to try to assault Akane in her sleep. Akane kept it, and used it on Ranma once or twice in that episode, and it never showed up again (I could be wrong here, so someone may correct me if they can think of other times in the anime series that Akane used a mallet. The time in the OVA that Kasumi handed her a mallet to use doesn't count.). Akane's jealousy is generally more of a case of misdirected blame... when Ranma talks about, is glomped by, or receives food from one of the other fiancees or a potential new fiancee, Akane generally uses her lightning uppercut of doom to punish him. None of it's ever Ranma's fault, though... He just has the worst case of foot in mouth disorder in the history of Anime, and fails to explain why it's not his fault without somehow insulting Akane.

Honestly, the chapter does need to be a bit longer than this. In my own fic, the prologue is a little over 3000 words, each chapter is at least 4500 words and up to 7000 words, and I consider my chapters to be short. You could put a bit more detail into this fic and write it out more. Less than 2000 words is more of a teaser than a proper chapter.

And now for some non-serious fun-poking...

Apparently the Tendos have built a pound in their backyard? I can't see why being hit into an animal shelter would cause Ranma's curse to trigger... it's water-based after all, not animal based. Maybe if he hit the water tank where the Tendos keep all the runaway goldfish?

If a crow can shake the ceiling of a store with its voice, that has to be one REALLY loud bird. Why does the owner of that store allow such noisy pests to roost in his rafters?

I'm not trying to discourage you from writing, but you could really stand to run your story through a spelling and grammar checker before you post here. A beta reader would help, as I said, but you also generally want to do as much as you can to clean up the chapter before sending it for beta. This looks like rough draft quality, at best. That said, I'll be watching this fic to see where it goes from here. Good luck.

Hmm a story that looks to be a Ranma is the reincarnation of Queen Serenity, has potential as i believe would be the second fanfic of this type so please continue i look forward to see how yours goes

Considering the circumstances, Ranma being Queen Serenity's reincarnation actually fits rather well. Of course Ranma would undoubtedly rebel against the idea. Still, I look forward to seeing what hair-standing chaos will be caused by this surprisingly logical reincarnation. One can almost imagine the funny expressions Usagi will be making in the future.

Something that I noted in the other story that has pretty much the same premise as this one is that there was no mental dissonance between Ranma and his past life like there is Millenial Panic. Which there really should be something at least, although it looked like you put in a little bit of it... Yeah I'm just making observations that are leading my thoughts in circles, sorry.

Anyway I'll be waiting to see more I guess. Good luck.