Love it

Great story

i don't know if you know anyone that has been sexually assaulted irl but as someone with a little insight on it, a victim would be highly unlikely to be comfortable with the people around them saying the word rape or drawing any attention to the circumstances of their assault so bluntly out loud. i don't think you're obligated to go through this whole story to "fix" this just because i think it's unrealistic but in the event that you write stories that involve this sort of material again it's something you could keep in mind.

When Alice has the vision, it would make more sense to have someone else (other than Edward) ask what she saw. After all, isn't he able to see her thoughts, and thus see the vision?
Other than that tiny tweek (which doesn't affect the reading experience or readers understanding or enjoyment of the book in any way) this is a great first chapter, and I'm excited to keep reading!

this is so dumb. so many flaws!

Fucking hell this is shit.
1. They would never tell jasper or his family what they were as it would break the statute of secrecy.
2. Artemis is such a cry baby. Harry never spoke about his parents like that. She wouldn't either

Great story I really liked it good job writing the story.

I LOVE IT! ADD MORE PLEASE!

I like the idea but the writing could use some work.

Pz update

you seriously need to finish your stories

Off to read Four Times A Charm.

What happened with Neville and Luna? Great read so far

I really love your story but some of your french sentences aren't really french I would rather say : " savoir ce qui vous lie à ma nièce. Mais si vous lui faites du mal, ce sera un enfer à payer. Je ne l'ai pas protégée une fois en ne créant pas le lien, mais je suis maintenant heureuse de ne pas l'avoir fait par contre ne vous avisez pas de lui faire du mal"
Kisses

3rd chapter
I just wanted you to know that you put Gred in instead of Fred.