Honestly, i agree with Guest. This lacked effort. I feel like this is a very rough draft and it wasnt meant to be posted. The characters are very under-developed and the writing style...immature? Inelegant? The plot was cliché and the characters were out of character. I highly doubt that Soul would be willing to take back a girl who cheated on him, he would be too 'cool' for that, and i doubt that he would fall in love with someone at first sight. I'm sorry for the harsh critism but its true. All the best in your future endavours in writing.

Geez, that was unnaturally cold of Soul.

Wow this is really good

Need more now!

This was so cute!

That's what happens to cheaters

This is cute
Update :)

I LOVE this! Please make another chapter! Please!

I felt this lacked heart. Love is cast around in this piece like it's a scrap of meat fought over by dogs. You pitch people in love over for each other with the same tenacity that I might sneeze. When you love someone, you don't 'bump' into a girl and suddenly fall out of love and into the new girl! How callous that would be ... hell, I had more love for Playboy pictures as a boy and more guilt when I found a new girl to drool over!

Develop your characters. But develop them as if they're real. Work your way into that persona and write the way THAT feels. How would you honestly feel walking in on your partner cheating on you? The glaring imagery, the smell, the anger, the sadness, the guilt and even self recrimination... Now what do you do? Violence: beat the bastard (probably both) til you can't raise you're fist? Flee: take off and hope that you wake from the nightmare? Accuse: shout out curses and vile epitaphs? Beg: cry and hope that she'll realize the error of what she's done (of course what fool would trust that?)

Be involved with your characters! Make them real to you and they'll be real to us.

Good luck in your future writing. JSM

Oh update, that's all too sweet a start!