I loved your comment at the beginning of this chapter : I laughed during five minutes !
But you're right !
It's a fanfiction, not a copy of the movie !
And I love your story ! Continue like this !

This story was so good! I loved your OC and the relationship with Ardeth!

I loved this Story and this take on O'Connell's sister! It's nice to see a Story where she's not totally badass and normal! Can't wait to read the sequel!

Great story! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing and posting.

i love your Story
rena is awsome

Gosh this book is amazing!

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Update immediately, please!

Omg I am in love with this, I havnt been in this app in a while nd first story I looked at was yours and ou definitely didn't disappoint. This is absolutely amazing please update ASAP xP

I loved this story! Rena and Ardeth are perfection together! :D I can't wait to read the sequel! I adore your work! :D
Love,
Kelly

Wow! This is a great story! I just happened upon it and I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad that I did! :D you're a wonderful author! I can't wait to read more! :D
Love,
Kelly

So if for no other reason, I like the fact that Irene was outside so she could have a run-in with Beni. That's just great. Their whole exchange is a really fun, fresh element in the midst of Irene's anxiety; I mean, he starts to worry her by dragging her off to the city, but up until then, it's kind of comedic and light. And before he can get too far, Ardeth saves the day. So that's a nice moment for her, too.

I don't know if I totally "get" the thing with the gun, but I like it as a new attempt at something not totally romantic/schmaltzy. And it's a nice promise that Rena and Ardeth will meet again.

Overall, I think you handled this story/subject matter pretty well. It wasn't anything earth-shattering, but you handled it with care and Irene was a nice character. Good work!

(So it has just occurred to me that you got this sucker clocked in at 12 chapters. That's pretty impressive.)

Anyway, I read these chapter together, but I'm gonna try to mete it out into two reviews. So here goes.

So I don't know if you realized, but you totally wrote through a time skip at the beginning of the chapter. Between "Winston, a word!" and "What's your little problem have to do with...", there's an assumed time lapse, during which time they explain to Winston what the deal is with Imhotep. You might consider adding something in there. :)

After that, the first part was pretty straight-forward movie stuff. I skimmed. The second part, though, really changed the game. I think it's interesting that Irene stayed back outside the city. I think it's the right choice for her, since she's not particularly helpful on the whole action scene...but she's also all by herself, and anything could happen. So while I like the variety of her staying back, I'm not sure if it's the best decision. I mean, I guess she's still more endangered if she goes in with them, but like...how would she know if they were killed? Eh, they live, it doesn't matter. But I'm still debating with myself whether it makes sense for her to stay back. I suppose it makes as much sense as anything, I'll buy it.

Her whole moment with Ardeth was nice (c'mon, no kiss for Jonathan? Homeboy never gets no love!); it was an important step in the story and their relationship, and it happened at the right time I think.

Next chapter! (Last one, too. Craziness.)

Loved it
cant wait for the sequel

Wow, I will wait for the mummy 2.