Jim and Spock have this unwritten understanding. Jim knew, like everyone else on the ship, that Spock would die before he split a hair of his golden headed captain. So, of course, Jim would know that something is wrong with his Spock. Jim has given his life for his crew. If any different, a mob would have taken Spock out! Spock and Jim are precious.

I enjoyed this, despite my hatred of any stories rape related. I guess if it's Spock, and he has a good reason, then it's ok.

I was surprised by how much I liked this fic, but truly, kudos, to you for idea and take and especially the writing. I'm a looooong time ST fan, but had avoided this fanfic until STID. I just couldn't see slash is the TOS Kirk and Spock and since those were beloved childhood heros ... and I must've skipped over this fic when it first came out b/c wasn't my thing. But these new actors do such a good job, that as long as there's a strong bond between Kirk and Spock, I could see any relationship.

So I'm not sure how/why I ended up reading it months later (maybe it was a favorite of a favorite author?) but your writing got me hooked and then yes, the rape was tough but somehow still absorbing b/c of the greater story of these 2 characters, but when I got to the brig scene - wow. Again, so well imagined and so well written. I love this line "There was a long single minute in which they were both quiet, looking at each other in the eyes as if daring the other to look away." b/c my instinct would be for Spock to look away out of shame, but when I read it and in the greater context of who they are, I could actually *see* (one of those time you wish the actors would film fanfic - just that one section!)

Anyhow, I hope you plan on writing more and thanks for this one!

Thank you for writing this fic! It is what I was looking for as well. Finally a fic where Kirk doesn't act like a broken glass doll. Very well written, no one seemed OOC.

This was totally hot :P

That was my sentiments exactly. I can't really ever see Kirk being the type to cry in bed after something like that. And yes, this was extremely well written and I applaud you for it. :) [and if that was morbid because this was a rape fic, sorry, it wasn't meant like that.]

loved this, sad at first and angsty in a good way, i like your writing style, do please keep writing

I cant say I "enjoyed" reading this because it was hard to see my beloved characters in this situation and some of this was hard to read due to the subject matter. Regardless, I found this story to be well written and real. It gripped me and I could not stop reading before the end. A lot of writers have written about the violence of pon farr on an unwilling or hesitant Kirk but this story depicted rape of Kirk without glorifying it with a tender fall in love moment during or right after all the violence.

I don't think the story made light of the rape but instead was somewhat realistic based on the history of the characters. Kirk is not one to wallow in self pity or call for a court martial of Spock for this but he was hurt and angry. He understood the reasons why Spock assaulted him and was compassionate. Most importantly, Kirk and Spock shared a very close bond before this happened and at some point not discussed in the story, Kirk clearly forgave Spock.

I am not trying to attribute a deep meaning into this fiction but Kirk's ability to understand and eventually forgive is rooted in reality. In the real world, victims of sexual assault and domestic violence might not understand or forgive- and that is okay and very understandable. But there have been occasions victims can at some point come to understand and maybe eventually forgive their assailants even when the assault may be considered unforgivable by others. This might occur when 1. when the victims and perpetrators have had a close bond and; 2. the perpetrators are truly remorseful; and 3. there is some catalyst such as mental illness or substance abuse which caused the situation and; 4. the perpetrator seeks help for the problem.

If I had one complaint, it would be that I want to know more about the time after Spock left he brig and the 7 years later. They clearly had a long road to go down and it would be great to see how they patched up their relationship ; what did each of them feel and how did they get over it; how did Spock deal with the guilt which he was still feeling 7 years later; what were the reactions of everyone else. Biut none of that is relevant to the telling of this story so I will take the HEA ending and be satisfied with that.

This is a long review but my 2 cents that was burning to be expressed. So I did.

I hate rape scenes. But, you fanned a possibility that could happen.

Yes! So often in the middle of pon farr and being raped/beaten kirk starts loving it and being so turned on and magically not feeling the pain or minding it.
This is a more realistic take and yet kirk is still kirk and he loves spock and wants him to live. And he has senough love and compassion and logic that he forgives and understands and is willing to go through it again.
Although, I think kirk would have died... After more than 3 days without water while in intense heat, vigorous exercise and internal bleeding... He probably would have dehydrated and died. But that just emphasizes the point of the story so I still liked it. I 'like' the touch about jim almost losing his hands to loss of circulation.
Everyone remained in character and it was well written grammatically and storyline-wise. Great job.
Looking forward to reading more from you! You should post to archive of our own if you haven't already. And the ksarchive.

Thumbs up. It was straight forward and unapologetic. Pon farr, in my opinion isn't something that should be over romanticized, which I think happens too often. I think the story went over rather well. Characterization remained intact, 2 points!