YES shep get happy endibg

Make a new Chapter Please!

I don't think Han'Gerrel would do that.

Romance, sappy love scenes, drama and friendship... all i need :)

Glad you are back!

Phil

i'd highly recommend putting future chapters through a beta, so that they can catch the spelling mistakes

Please make next chapter

I use a app on my iPad to read the fan fiction stories off of the site but I can't leave reviews though the app but I can follow them as alerts AKA when you update them I get a notice saying they were updated so I read it that way.

This story has major issues, and I needed to double back to make sure you're aware of them. I don't hate this, but its difficult to see past all the flaws. Research definitely wasn't done here.
It took 18 years for the galaxy to recover from total calamity like the Reaper War? That shit was like an apocalypse! I refuse to believe it took 18 years for the ENTIRE galaxy to recover from that! Rannoch, definitely, but not EVERYONE in EVERYWHERE.
'The one child law was forbidden,' I don' know if I heard wrong, but did I just hear that they illegalized having one child? Fuck that's harsh! I know you want to grow your population, but making it forbidden isn't fair. What if the woman's sterile or infertile or has multiple stillbirths after that? Does she get arrested?
The year is 2200. The Reaper War was in 2186. That's 14 years, not 18, meaning Lia is only 14, and not 18, making the entire story onwards an anomaly.
Since Fanfiction has made it impossible to copy and paste quotes (fucking annoying), I'll do this manually. It states Lia was an only child and that she felt like an outsider among others. Why? Its never explained why she felt like that, its just thrown in our faces and we roll with it. Not that matters, as the story quickly forgets about it like it never happened.
Tali helped build the local 'firewalls?' The quarian population use firewalls so much, they causalize it with 'local'. Damn, they must get hacked alot.
Tali decided to teach at a school of engineering instead of continuing her career as an engineer? She'd rather waste her skills teaching people when she could 1. Improve them or 2. Put them to use and help develop the quarian engineering industry. Going to school doesn't seem like something Tali would do.
Shepard BECAME a celebrity? He wasn't already one when he saved the Citadel? When he wiped out the Collectors and defeated the Shadow Broker? When he sent the Reapers to hell? Damn, that crowd is picky.
"For his surprise they sent James and Ashley." Sounds like the Alliance likes spoiling Shepard. Honestly, you make the Alliance sound like parents who spoil their child. And they sent James? Jesus, standards have gotten low for recruitment.
"...Shepard backed her plan." Shepard is a dick to his daughter.
"Lia had a natural talent with sniper rifles, and sub machine guns." God is picky on what natural talent people have. And when you say natural, you make it sound like that when she was a toddler, she'd pick up a sniper rifle and hit some factory worker from two kilometers away. And SMGs? God really is picky. 'Thou shall have natural talent with these weapons. Why? Because I like variety. I'm God, I can do whatever the fuck thou shall want.' Yes, my Shakespeare sucks. You'll live.
"Well that's good, this year he will pay me 100 credits. I bet you." She's betting on winning a bet? Betception.
Wait...so quarians don't have to wear masks but have to wear suits? How the fuck does that work? Is her immune system being a dick and deciding where it'll be weakest? 'Today, I think I'll be especially discreet and let her face be safe. And when she doesn't see it coming; I WILL STRIKE! MUWAHAHAHAHA.'
So some of Tali's students hacked her omni-tool? Tali, I thought you were meant to be the best engineer in existence! You should have good firewalls on your omni-tool, especially since the author stated you helped build the local ones! Sheesh, Tali!
"What is it Lia? Did you found a boy?" Not only is that supposed to be 'Did you FIND a boy' but why would Tali immediately jump to that conclusion? I mean, shit, imagine her on the Normandy. Shepard goes to ask her if she wants to watch the rainbows and unicorns, Tali would be like 'WHAT IS IT? YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH MIRANDA AREN'T YOU? YOU CHEAT!'
I had to read one line over and over, and then compared it to a chapter from later on. Lia clearly stated she'd do her pilgrimage first and then join the army, yet later on, she goes straight into training and her parents don't even question it. I guess they saw the transport costs.
Wait, Shepard had to be a spectre to do things stupidly? Well, US Marines, here I come!
"Greetings, young girl! So you would like to sign up to the army?" He or she is awfully excited about enlisting someone to kill people. I mean, shit. Wait...could it be? Yes it is! ITS A TRAP!
"So you would like to sign up to the army?" Actually no, I was here to ask you if shampoo really does contain whale sperm. OF COURSE I'M HERE TO JOIN THE ARMY! THAT'S WHY I'M IN A FUCKING RECRUITMENT OFFICE! Sorry, lost my cool there. Won't happen again.
Basic training in the army involves learning to take cover, shoot a gun and apply medi-gel? Jesus! If that's the quarian equivalent of basic, I don't want to know what advanced is!
"So miss, is there any weapon you prefer?" Yes, I quite like nuclear weapons. I just love the smell of cooked flesh in the morning; makes me giggle! In all seriousness; who the hell asks that? The correct question would be 'What field do you specialize in?' and then they'll train you to use weapons appropriate to that field.
So what, they just shove her into an infiltration team? Look, you clearly don't understand the military, so let me lay this out for you: infiltrators are the elite operatives of the military. You don't become one until you've gone through standard training, then through special training for that field. This isn't primary school; its the fucking army. That'd be like just grabbing a soldier and throwing him onto a ship, calling him a captain, and then telling him/her to invade China.
"Can you somehow make it possible that no one finds out that she is my daughter? I don't want that because of me she will be treated differently." For all intents and purposes Shepard, THAT'S A GOOD THING. Because of her reputation as the daughter of the Savior of the Galaxy, she would get access to special training, along with officers/leadership training. In the long run, being a Shepard would improve her career, not just sensationalize it.
"After that he left the room." I don't know why, but I laughed long and hard at that. I have no idea why; it was just bloody hilarious how you ended the chapter with that sentence. It was just so...blunt!
Like I said; not a horrible story, but obviously this needs alot of work. There's a Migrant Fleet of spelling mistakes (pun intended) in this and that's also what kills it, because most of the time I just look over the same sentence laughing at another grammar or spelling mistake.
You've got potential. Don't take this as highly negative, just...um...uh...inspirational! I'm ripping apart and criticizing your story so that you'll improve!
...that sounded better in my head.

Ha, usually I would condemn her for that but for some odd reason. It actually makes me like her more

Well... The last part was unexpected, and i mean really unexpected. I don't really see the point in it apart from getting us to hate xen some more. I was expecting xen to open up to her and explain her past to someone at last but then again what should i expect from a power hungry admiral?

Now the first two sections fit in better with the story, the only problem is if the abandoned military base is near the town where she lives then surely someone would of stumbled across it before them?

Anyways this was an, interesting chapter to sat the least. I wonder where the story will go from here.

War against an alien race, and now a Civil war too ?
That will eradicate the quarians or get them at least near extinction...

And Lia leading it ?
Oh dear...

Another chapter another review, a nice chapter to update us on what's happening with the two war fronts.

My only problem is that I'm getting confused about who's where with all the jumping about in the story, that's the only problem I can spot out with the usual spelling and grammar errors.

Going to be interesting to see the rest of the galaxy's reaction to the events that are currently happening.

Looks good. 2 front war now. So one evil maniac got replaced by another. In the end Lia will be Spectre and Grand Admiral. What happened to Rael? Was he a geth in Gerrels suit?

Phil

So xen is now in charge of the quarian race, thanks to a scheme to stop a scheme. Looking forward to see what xen plans to do with her now unrestricted AI research. This along with the civil war and the war against the phenograns will make the next few chapters rather interesting.

For some reason I dont see Shepard listening to the doctor either, with all that's going on it makes it even more unlikely for me.

That's just my thoughts, remember its your story! Looking forward to reading more :)

Not to be a nitnoid, just a quick note here regarding the story description:

"After the war Shepard and Tali had a normal life on Rannoch, untill they daughter Lia joined the army."

There should be a comma after "war," "untill" should be spelled "until," and "they" should be "their."

Sorry... it just set my eye twitching a little.