Yes but what if Canada.

Would you mind if I made a MST of this? I'm looking to start off a series, and this seems like a good place to start. I'll send you the link if you want.

sexii sotri. i fapped haurd 2 dis.
100/10

This fanfic is absolute genius. If you're ever looking for another series to write stories for, please do one for Xenoblade Chronicles.

Chapter 3: Natural Disasters

I was talking with Palutena, and was asking why Pittoo attacked a university. She said "It's because Pittoo is the opposite of Pit. While Pit is nice, Pittoo is a cunt. While Pit is god, Pittoo is evil."

And since I lost the first blade from shoving it up Pittoo's ass, Palutena gave me a Fire Works Canon. Suddenly a Code-Red Alert sounded. We run to the door and jump out.

"What's up today your majesty?" Pit asked.

Palutena told us "Viridi is back in the game, and is dropping nuclears on people." The ground was covered in dead peoples, nuclear pieces, and sparks. The skyline was oddly empty. Viridi appeared in the background, and started saying "You bitches have let humans kill animals again, so I kill the humans so they learn their lesson, it's like school, only even deadlier. HAHAHAHAHA!" before disappearing. In her place was a nuclear! I anticipated things with my tactical mind, and shot a Fire Work! But it didn't stop the nuclear, but detonated it like a nuclear.

"I'd best let you out!" Palutena replied and she flew us into the sky. "The only way to stop the nuclears is to beat Viridi, and she's in a skybase in the sky." The nuclear has magic fire, so it could chase us into the sky.

Pit panicked, "THE NUCLEARS IS GOING TO CATCH US AND BURN OUR ASSES ALIVE!"

Then things got worse as Viridi sent living onions after us. The onions got to us, and we began to cry, which is ruining out vision, so Palutena gave us glasses so we could see. And we looked cool as well. We blasted the onions, and they fell back into the nuclear which killed them and turned them into normal onions which Palutena gave us to eat.

Th skybase came into sight, so we flew directly into it, and Viridi put up a god shield that stopped Palutena from helping us, but it also stopped the nuclear. Viridi walked up to talk to us, and Phosphora was with her with arms round her, since they were lesbians, and it looked cute. Viridi said, "I issue you a challenge. If you can make it to out control room, then we'll duel for the fate of the nuclears." And then she and Phosphora teleported away.

I ran ahead and Pit lost sight of me. I found two doors, one was a relaxing shade of pink, and the other was a dark shade of royal blue. I took the pink one.

Inside was a control area with electric walls. And there was also... Pittoo! Pittoo charged at me, and ran me into a wall. It was shocking, and Pittoo started to slap my head, so I did a quick time event and shoved him off, punching him in the nose, and he got a nosebleed. I asked, "Why do you fight me? I'm not Pit."

And Pittoo said "It's so you don't fulfill your destiny. "

And I asked "What destiny?"

And he said, "You're one day gonna say the words that end the world!"

DA-DA-DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I shot Fireworks at him, shouting, " I'M (fires) NOT (fires) THAT (fires) TYPE (fires) OF (fires) ANGEL! (fires) I (fires) WON'T (fires) END (fires) THE (fires) WORLD (fires), AS (fires) IT'S (fires) NOT (fires) IN (fires) MY (fires) INTEREST (fires)!"

Since Pittoo was the evilest guy, the Fireworks did not do much damage. So I slapped him with the canon as the nozzle was still hot, and he caught on fire, and there was a cracking sound, and he run away.

The next room had statues made of wood which looked like Phosphora, Viridi, Arlon and Pyro. The Arlon and Pyro statue had portals. Arlon had a blue portal, and Pyro had a orange portal. I went into the orange portal first.

Pyro was on the other side of the portal. Pyro was the sun god and he's real funny, thinking he's like a superhero, only cooler! I tried to shoot him with Fireworks Canon, except he was made of fire, so they only made him stronger, and he was like "Hahaha! You don't fight fire with fire, as that is dumb, and you are fucking stupid for thinking it would work."

So I wacked pillars in the square room, avoiding his flamethrower move, and there were items as it was going to be used later against humans, and the snowflake one was there, as he was planning to sort out his weakness. I get the Snowflake and ran into Pyro, and it froze him, and he was defeated.

"SHITTTTTTTTT! FUCK YOU!" He shouted as he went down.

Back in the statue room, the portal to Pyro was gone. So I went to the Arlon portal.

I was in a room made of cheese, so there were holes I could fall into. Then Arlon arrived. Arlon is the Moon god. Arlon Britished "Well now, another bugger for me to bloody exterminate!" And then he did a flying kick at me, so I barrel rolled like Starfox and got away. I shot fireworks and they exploded and hurt him like a exploding firework.

Arlon Britished, "You're bloody takin' the piss now!" And then he pulled a nuclear out of his ass and said "If you try to bloody shoot me now, this detonates, and buggers die."

So I switched to meleeing him until the nuclear was knocked from his hands.

"Oh bloody hell!" he murmured, then I ran back and shot him again. Then he did a flying kick and struck me, and due to damage from fighting Pittoo, I went crisis mode. So I decided I would attack his weak point for massive damage. So I shot his teeth, then Arlon Britished "Oh god save the queen!" as it was what he said when he was beaten.

I was back int he portal room, and Phosphora was there, so was Pittoo. Pittoo had a cosh, and was coshing Phosphora with it, cause he found it fun and Phosphora squeaked like a toy every time.

"You (cosh) really (cosh) think (cosh) you (cosh) can (cosh) nuclear (cosh) human? (cosh) Well (cosh) you (cosh) won't (cosh) cause (cosh) I (cosh) need (cosh) zombie (cosh) army! (cosh) Also (cosh) I (cosh) will (cosh) toss (cosh) nuclears (cosh) at (cosh) Skywordl! (cosh)"

Then Pittoo saw me and said, "Oh, you again. I thought Arlon and Pyro would have beat your ass to death. But its still good you beat them, as they won't be in my way to fight Viridi." He conjured out my first blade, "Now to return that favor you lent me, except it wasn't a favor, as it hurt like fuck!" But then a snipe happened and he ran again. Phosphora got up and bellowed, "Well, that shit him up. But don't expect any advantages in the duel."

And then she lightning'd away. A portal opened between the Viridi and Phosphora statues. I jumped in, and during the way through the portal, Pit appeared.

"Hey Cloud, what happen?" he ushered.

I replied "Pittoo attacked me and threw me into electrics, then I fought Pyro and Arlon, then Pittoo coshed Phosphora, but she sniped him." I decided not to say about the words that end up the world, as I thought it was a lie, and didn't want to cause unneeded panic.

In the control room, Pittoo was fighting Viridi, and she kept grabbing him with vine, and pulling him, shouting "Get over here!" Then Pittoo jumped away and she grabbed again, and pulled him, murmuring "GET OVER HERE BITCH!" but he jumped back and she tossed the vine and grabbed his neck, to do asphyxiation, and pulled him in, screaming like a little girl, "GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" she then uppercutted him, and Phosphora thundered him, and he had to leave for real.

Viridi and Phosphora ten looked at us. Viridi went to her computer, then put up some lasers. She challenged "Try to get past those!"

So we used the dodge move and were passing easily. Viridi then explained the duel.

"The two of you will fight with Phosphora. If she wins, I launch the nuclear." She then sat on top of the nuclear. "If you win, which you won't, the nuclear will not fire." Then Phosphora got into battle position.

Boss music began to play, and her touch screen image appeared in the touch screen. I saw the worlds 'Lightning Flash' and told her "Cool nickname, it's like something the Chariot Guy would call his unicorns." And then she thundered, "Thanks."

Then me and Pit barrel rolled from the thunder. I shot a Fireworkand it hit the wooden floor, setting it on fire, and the fire began to move... AND IT WAS HEADING TO THE NUCLEAR!

"YOU MEDIOCRE DUNCES!" Viridi exploded, but not like a nuclear, as that's just dumb. Her anger broke her concentration, and the god shield went down. Palutena arrived and saw what was happen.
"You should be careful Cloud." she advised. Then Medusa appeared in the sky, and was like, "Well there..." but a hand grabbed her head, shook her, then tossed her away, it was... HADES! Which surprised me, but it didn't as I had read the title. Hades was like "Oh hi Pitty, and did you get a boyfriend? How lovely." But Pit knew Hades was wrong as we're friends, it's not like we're gay or anything.

Phosphora then rushed in and gave me an electric hug, which was cute, but also shocking, then I jumped away and shot Fireworks Canon again. Then Pit gave her a snipe, but she's stronger than Pittoo, so she didn't have to leave. Then the fire started to burn faster as Hades thought it was cool. Then Phosphora turned into lightning and hit Pit in the head, making him temporarily a retard, so I was on my own. I whacked Phosphora with the butt of the Canon and it gave her a fire stat effect. Then a work bell sounded, so it was tea break time. The music stopped while me and Phosphora had some green tea, and some M&Ms as well as the onions from earlier. A bell sounded, like in boxing, so we go back into fight. The music begin again. I shot Fireworks Canon, and Phosphora tried to shoot thunder but it was too late and it made the Fireworks stronger and she was beaten.

Phosphora declared she would keep the promise and turned the fire into lightning and absorbed it into her which made her better. But because the nuclear was taken away, Pittoo had jumped out of nowhere and stole it! But then Hades bitchslapped him and grabbed the nuclear and took it into the Underworld. Phosphora and Viridi grabbed one another in fear and it was cute, but I had to get back to Skyworld.

Chapter 2: Magnus, help us!

The door opened and the sky was snowing, so we waited and the magic switch was turned on, so we jumped out and flew away. Underworld armies appeared and tried to kill us, but we fought back. I still had first blade and Pit still used Orb Staff.

Next, Medusa came out of nowhere. She was a female woman goddess, but I told her "You're not real, now show your true form, you cowardly faggot!"

Medusa turned me into stone, as she was real, and didn't like being called faggot.

I was made of stone, and Medusa made it. Then the stone broke and I looked up, it was... Magnus!

Magnus was a super strong man, like Hercules. He had black hair, and a massive sword, that he called a cup, like caveman uses on The Flintstones, which was Medusa's favorite show on AV, since it had stones.

Magnus said, "Hello, little angel." and I bitchslapped him, "Don't talk like Pedobear!"

He realized that he was wrong, "Sorry didn't mean it that way."

I told him "Medusa is back and turned me into stone."

Magnus was actively saying "I don't need that, I have all the stones I need to sex Gaol."

I looked around. I was in a town, there were buildings, there were people, and most important, there was Underworld monsters attacking a university. Magnus ran like you bot or Sonic or these guys from Paris that are like Spiderman. I couldn't get Palutena, so I couldn't flee, so I flapped my wings and got their before Magnus.

When Magnus arrived, he used his cup to slash up monsters, so I used the First Blade and shot magic god lasers at them. We ran into the university. The first graders were being tortured with sexual education by wizard enemies from the game (those guys have the complete pedo look), Magnus and me didn't help, as we didn't want to see five year olds dicks. Next were second graders, who were forced into martial arts class, but hey could now kick ass, so they were fin. The third, fourth and fifth were forced into survival class, which meant they were forced into one room to see who would be the last one alive. In sixth grade, Harry Potter had saved them, and was teaching them magic to help others. The second grade was being given awful Shakespeare lessons on Romeo and Juliet. Me and Magnus went in and were ready to kill the monsters, except they weren't in, instead it was... Pittoo!
Pittoo was Pit that weren't Pit and instead was a Pit, but he wasn't Pit. Pittoo was super evil and was the ultimate force of evil. He said, "I'm about to beat you, then strip you and photo it in front of kids and put it on Encyclopedia Dramatica. He pulled out a Dark Pit staff and shot ad Magnus head, but Magnus was so strong he didn't get hurt.

Pittoo ran at me, but I hit him with first blade in the wrist and cut it. He started to bleed and got pissed off. He aimed at my head and told me, "Your god ain't here, so when I got you, you go to hell and will become zombie!"

But I had ran behind him and shoved the first blade up his ass!

He got pissed at this. He slammed me into wall. He shouted "I GONNA RAPE YOU!" since he was pissed about the first blade that I shoved up his ass. Magnus said "fuck you, fake angel!" and whacked his head in!

It was a win. Pittoo ragequitted and teleported away. I didn't become zombie and Palutena found me and took me out.

this story's pretty damn hilarious. i also feel like transcribing it so don't mind if i do. :v

Chapter 1: The New Centurion

Hi, my name is Cloud. I have blonde hair, but not like that other fag who's name is Cloud. I wear a white toga, have blue eyes and green sandals. I am an angel for a sexy goddess named Palutena, she made me a special angel that is called a Centurion, which means I'm like a soldier now, but not one who has rocket guns and picks with magic powers. I fight with dead people who became monsters and they're called... THE UNDERWORLD ARMY! They are led by a evil man who is named Hades, which is Greek for hell. There are also these evil planets called The Force Of Unleashed Natural, led by a bitch called Viridi, which means virgin, as that's what she is. My best friend is called Pit and he is an Centurion angel for Palutena too. My angel wings are also green as it's my favorite color.

So I was sitting with Pit, watching AV (which is short for angel vision) it was My Little Chariot: Lighting Is Magic.

I turned to you and said "It's like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, except about the Lightning Chariot unicorns fighting with thunder."

Pit was on his aPad (short for angel pad) and he was on Wolf News, where he read about a pair of angels who get kicked out for shouting "FUCK!" all the time.

Suddenly, a Code Red-alert sounded.(It's like a Code Red and Red Alert at the same time, since everything was so dangerous) Pit and me ran to the door, which opened and we jumped out. Palutena flicked a magic switch and it turned on our wings.

The Hell Army came. We were constantly shot at.

Palutena told us "Hades has revived and is killing humans. Cloud, you must stop Hades from turning people into monsters. Pit, you must help Cloud retrieve this mission."

I equipped "Eye guard!" like a pirate cause those are cool, and I started swinging my first blade and slicing fags up.

Pit told her "Sure thing, your highness." Pit then started sniping with his Orb Staff.

Suddenly, we did a loop-de-loop and went down super-speedily. Pit was like "Could, this is quite sudden, isn't it?"

I snarked, "Yeah, and its gonna kill germs that smack in my face."

Palutena explained, "The hell spawns are escaping to the ground. I must take you down to fight them."

The cyclops things came and said "Angels must be retarded, in order to please them..." but they stopped as Pit sniped them and they screamed like a cyclops screaming and then they died until they were dead.

Bad guy from the games second chapter suddenly flew after us, and Palutena shouted at us, "Watch out!" So Pit got a portable AV and went to channel 8 which was airing Out.

Palutena remarked, "Pit, stop that! You're not funny you bastard!"

So I slapped him and he dropped the AV, a bad guy from the games second chapter flew after it and exploded upon hitting the ground.

Pit said "That's that. Let's keep going."

So we changed direction and flew forwards into between two hills, one called Hank and the other Bobby. Then another cyclops arrived and tried to kill us, but I cut it in half with my first blade.

We see a town and fly into it. The magic switch was flicked to save food, but sadly not our game.

In the town, there were over nine-thousand underworld monsters killing people, smashing buildings, and dropping letters. Pit climbed onto a building and started sniping them. I went and slashed them. Palutena came and told us "Go to the stadium."

Lucky the stadium was up some stairs. I killed monsters making room for Pit. We were given a Drink Of The Gods and went in.

Twinbellows was in waiting for us. Twinbellows zoomed in and grabbed Pit, and proceeded to sink claws into Pit's body. I swung the first blade to knock him off. Pit got up and shot at Twinbellows with Orb Stuff, but Twinbellows was an asshole and didn't get hurt. He suddenly growled and went on more fire then he already was. Thankfully, rain came and fell onto ground. Twinbellows was put out, so Pit got a BOOM HEADSHOT! and Twinbellows died, for safety, I chopped of his head.

Palutena said "Good job boys, lets get you back home."

White light surrounded us and we teleported to Skyworld.

I love this story so much, and I can't wait to see what happens next! I also don't understand why it is getting so many negative reviews, as I found it extremely hilarious. Keep up the good work!

lmao lets see we have Guest(s), Soulthy, Totaldramafan102, Angelic Randomness, Lieutenant Jenson, You need better, nit-picking, Bossrunner456 and the dummest of de group Paula-Ana

lmao dats a lot of idiots for one reveew section it makes me brake my sides from laughing at how dum dey are

Hats off good sir. There is not nearly enough trolling on the internet.

you know...
please relearn your english language before trying to make a story...
your spelling are all over the places. english is the secondary language use for international world for our country. if you don't improved your language, chance are you will made the readers made. (which by the way... you already did). not only that, you will made things harder for yourself with all the hate. my suggestion, drop your account and all your spelling error stories, relearn english, and comeback with better stories.

really... relearn your english. and in english language world, we don't use number for shortcut such as '2' for 'too'. it's rude. please respect the language.

This
is completly real

BEST STOWY EVAAA!;6640

It hurts reading this. Don't know why this story hasn't been taken off- well actually I guess you do put work into this, judging how many chapters this has. So applause for not getting push by haters man. And because Cheft taught me to be chill at situations like these, I'm not gonna report abuse on this. Otherwise all that typing and trolling behind a computer would go to waste. Congrats for making the most readers mad. Woohoo...

Hey mudkip, can you PM me what 笨蛋的大傻瓜 means?