Okay, I like this. The beginning was well done and there are few grammar mistakes. The language is a little unnatural. Alfred would have probably either been nervous talking himself through the whole thing, or he wouldn't have talked at all, just kinda dumbstruck, but what you where writing wasn't your normal everyday experience so the actions of the characters will be hard to judge. I really like your writing and laughed at the confusion AND dismay part. I hope to read more soon!

Please update soon! So many questions and none of them answered!

This looks pretty good. Lots of potential, and the ending line is a classic to use.