New Story. There will be lemons.

Disclaimer for the whole story, so that no one complains; I don't own Naruto or Mortal Kombat.

"Regular Speaking"

Thinking

"Demon Speaking"

Demon Thinking

Naruto Uzumaki yawned. Yet another long day.

Getting up out of the bus seat, he clambered out and looked around. Scotland in this time of year was pretty damn cold. A light dusting of snow was coming down from the sky and everywhere he walked, his boots crunched down on the delicate flakes.

Sighing, he drew up the hood of his ANBU cloak and pulled his orange scarf up so that it covered his mouth and nose. It was especially freezing today, and given how long he'd been alive, that was saying something. No one in their right mind would be out in the middle of the Isle of Skye when the temperature was -20 degrees Celsius. A blizzard would be blowing in in twenty three and a half minutes.

He groaned. Sleeping in the snow was so annoying.

Looking up, he noticed a distant cloud darken and flash with lightning and he raised an eyebrow. That was unusual. There wasn't supposed to be any thunder today, just snow.

He also idly noted that it had begun to move towards him.

He looked in the other direction, and almost wasn't surprised to see a black cloud of what looked like ash was moving towards him, at the same speed as the thundercloud. His eyes narrowed. It was moving fast... and against the wind.

Shrugging to himself, he walked on. Unusual weather wasn't cause for alarm. At least, they hadn't been for a few millennia.

DAMMIT NARUTO, WILL YOU STOP WALKING AND LISTEN TO ME?

Sighing again, the shinobi stopped walking and laid down before slowly closing his eyes and fading into his mindscape.

His eyes blinked open, revealing nothing but blackness above.

Raising himself up from the knee deep water he was floating above, he looked around and gave a tired smile. "Hey guys. How're you doing?"

Shukaku, Matatabi, Isobu, Son Gokū, Kokuō, Saiken, Chōmei, Gyūki and Kurama, known only to him as the Nine Tailed Beasts, looked down at him and muttered various forms of 'hello' and 'fine', while the last, Kurama, just glared.

Naruto gulped. He knew that look; it was one the giant fox only used when someone was about to receive a major tongue lashing.

"Finally, you little brat! I've been trying to get you in here for hours!" the Nine-Tailed Fox growled and Naruto cringed.

"Well, uh, my bad," he said weakly, and Kurama looked down at him murderously.

"My bad? MY BAD!? I swear, I don't know how I stand you sometimes!"

"Now, now, Kurama," Matatabi said. "I'm sure the poor boy has a very good reason for not paying attention."

"Ha!" Son Gokū laughed. "As if needs a reason not to pay attention to Kurama!"

"Shut it, you damned ape!"

Son Gokū continued on as if the fox hadn't spoken. "After all, I take great pride in my ability to zone out during one of its incessant rants!"

"You take pride in everything you do, Son Gokū," Kokuō said calmly. "One more thing isn't that impressive."

"Hey!"

"Ha! You just got burned, Gokū!" Chōmei laughed.

Naruto sighed. Such was the burden of being the holder of all nine of the Tailed Beasts. They were as different from each other as fire and water, and there were nine of them.

Well, ten, actually.

"Has Shinju gotten up yet?" he asked suddenly, shutting them all up instantly.

Nervously, they all looked behind Kurama into a cave darker than pitch. Now that they were all quiet, a slow, heavy breathing could be heard from within it.

"You know him, Naruto," Isobu said, more nervously than usual. "He never wakes up but in the most dire of circumstances."

"Yeah, I know," the blond said, then looked up at Kurama. "So why were trying to call me?"

"You noticed those clouds, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I sensed two distinct energy signatures in each one. They are far more powerful than any measly human could ever hope to be. Except for you, of course."

"Aw, that's so nice, buddy," Naruto said cheerfully. "I didn't know you cared!"

"I DON'T, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Kurama roared, ignoring the snorts of laughter from the other Bijuu. "I'm saying that there's no way that the two beings in those clouds are human!"

Naruto's cheery manner quickly disappeared and he sighed, sitting cross-legged on the water. "I was afraid of that."

The nine beings of pure chakra all looked down at the one person on the planet that they called friend. "What are you going to do?" Gyūki asked.

"I really don't know. I'll see what's happening, I guess," he said, and closed his eyes.

Back in the real world, he blinked and looked up at the white sky, brushing a little snow from his face. Without even looking up, he knew that the two clouds were almost upon him. Now that they were closer, he could detect multiple life signatures in each one.

Sighing, he settled into a comfortable position in the snow, and waited, occasionally taking a bit of snow from the ground and munching on it with his eyes closed.

It was barely five minutes before the clouds reached him.

The ash cloud arrived first, spilling several figures onto the ground in puffs of smoke.

The thundercloud arrived second, and seemed to gather itself together before half a dozen bolts of lightning struck the ground, depositing figures that struggled to stay standing, except for the leader, who seemed used to it.

They all looked around for a second, and spotted their target, which, surprise surprise, seemed to be Naruto.

The first group was already moving towards him before the second even arrived, so they managed to reach him first.

The leader, a tall, shirtless bald man with really white skin and several strange markings on his body, looked down at Naruto in surprise, before clearing his throat pompously. "Greetings, mortal. I-"

"What do you think you're doing, Quan Chi?" shouted the leader from the other group, a tall man with a straw hat and very white eyes.

The... man... looked up and his eyes narrowed. "I suppose I'm doing the same thing you were thinking of doing, Raiden."

"Shao Kahn is forbidden from invading Earthrealm unless he has won the Mortal Kombat!" Raiden spat, not even paying attention to the man.

"He is not invading, Thunder God," Quan Chi replied bitingly. "He merely sends an envoy to enquire about a new Kombatant."

"Uh, before you guys start measuring dicks, I think you should look down," a guy in a grey suit with black sunglasses said. When they both turned to glare at him, he held up his hands. "Hey, no offense! Seriously, the guy's asleep!"

They did look down and saw that the man was, in fact, snoring lightly.

Quan Chi looked down at the blond man with rage in his eyes. "You dare ignore me!" he yelled. A green spiked mace appeared in his hands, which he swung down before anyone could react.

The mace struck the sleeping man in the face, a blow that would have killed almost any human.

What no one expected was for him to burst into smoke.

"Well now, that was rude," a voice said tiredly, causing them all to swivel around. Their eyes boggled as the same man who'd just been hit stood a little ways away, arms crossed. "Care to explain what the hell you guys are doing? And why you felt the need to try and kill me?"

Quan Chi cleared his throat awkwardly as he realized that his little temper tantrum could have lost Shao Kahn a potential ally.

Raiden looked at the man with interest. He himself had the power to teleport, but hadn't heard of someone able to do it and heal from an almost fatal injury at the same time.

Naruto looked around at the two groups with a critical eye. Each had three people. The one from the thundercloud consisted of the leader, Raiden, whose glowing white eyes shone under his straw hat. Besides that, the guy in the shades and suit looked kind of familiar. Some kind of movie star.

The last member of the group had him raising an eyebrow. A blonde chick wearing biker gloves, very tight pants and a high-riding, vest-like, low-cut jacket that was unzipped enough to show a generous amount of cleavage. Judging from the badge on the jacket and the dog tags around her neck, she was in the military somewhere, and Naruto only had one thought.

There is no freaking way that that outfit is standard.

Taking his eyes off the lady, he looked over at the second group and this time both eyebrows rose. The leader wasn't really so interesting, it was the two behind him that really got Naruto's attention.

The two women were clad in similar costumes that most men would drool at. They wore face masks reminiscent of the one his old pervert of a sensei used to wear, along with thigh-high, high-heeled boots, arm guards and some very scanty bustiers. One's costume was blue, the other green. The woman in the green had darker skin than her companion, but both were still gorgeous.

Damn. These ladies are HOT.

Sitting down with a sigh, he looked up at the pale guy. "Well?"

Clearing his throat again, Quan Chi walked forward a little until he stood in front of Naruto. "Greetings, mortal. I am Quan Chi, an envoy of Shao Kahn, Konqueror of Realms and Emperor of Outworld. I am here at my lords request to offer you a place in the Mortal Kombat tournament."

Naruto looked at him blankly. "The what now?"

Quan Chi's eye twitched, but he controlled himself with effort. "The Mortal Kombat tournament was set in place by the Elder Gods many millennia ago to allow each realm a chance to defend itself if it was threatened by another realm. Champions from each realm are chosen and the winner of ten consecutive tournaments is allowed to invade and absorb the loser's realm."

Naruto blinked for a few seconds. "Well, that's stupid."

Both groups gaped at him surprise as he stood up and stretched, before looking over at the second group. "And what's your guys' deal?"

The straw hat guy stepped forward as well and inclined his head. "I am the Thunder God, Raiden. I represent Earthrealm in the Mortal Kombat tournament against the likes of Shao Kahn."

"Thunder God, huh? Figures I'd run into one eventually," Naruto said, then looked over at the guy in the suit again. "Hey wait, aren't you Johnny Cage?"

"Yes I am!" the actor said. "Want an autograph?"

"No thanks," Naruto replied with a shake of his head. "No offense, but your movies kind of suck."

Cage's jaw dropped as the blonde next to him coughed several times to hide her laughter. Naruto turned back to Raiden, who was still looking at him inquisitively. "So anyway, what do you want from me, Ray-dude?"

The Thunder God's eye twitched. "Raiden, and I am here to offer you a chance to defend Earthrealm from Shao Kahn."

"Well, not that that's not interesting, but why me? There are plenty of people around who can fight," he asked.

"Two nights ago, a very powerful creature was detected in the middle of a town south of here. Several eyewitnesses described a yellow-haired man with peculiar golden eyes and three marks on each cheek actually riding the creature while laughing insanely. We tracked you from there. If you command such a creature you could be a powerful asset."

Naruto blinked for a few seconds, then held up a hand. "Hold on for a sec," he said, before sitting down and shutting his eyes.

Shukaku? he thought. What... exactly... did you do with my body two nights ago when I let you out?

Hey! I didn't do anything bad!

Shukaku...

Okay, I didn't do anything too bad! Just a little harmless fun!

Naruto huffed with annoyance. "Geez, what an idiot."

"Excuse me!?" Raiden asked, offended.

Naruto stood up and waved him off. "Not you, I was talking to someone else." They all raised an eyebrow as the blond walked around for a little, seemingly muttering to himself, before sighing and pointing at Quan Chi. "So if your Shao dude wins, then this planet will be absorbed, or something?" Quan Chi glared at him, but nodded, so he pointed at Raiden. "And if you guys win, then Shao Kahn can't invade?"

Raiden inclined his head. "Indeed, and he will not be able to attempt again for five hundred years."

Naruto's raised in eyebrow in annoyance. "Again, who in the hell thought that this tournament would be a good idea? It's a temporary measure at best and a bloody inefficient one at that." Then he shrugged. "But what the hell. I don't have anything else to do. Lead the way, Ray-dude."

Huffing in annoyance, the thunder god raised a hand, and then in a flash of lightning, all four of the group were gone.

First chapter: Komplete.