How Naruto Beat Itachi

By: Sheltie

I don't own Naruto at all

A/N: this is my next installment in my How Naruto Beat series. Sorry if it's been a while, but it's hard thinking of these and making look good. Anyway, on to the story.

Itachi stood there stoically. He was facing down a panting and tired Naruto Uzumaki.

"Just give up Naruto, surrender" Itachi said.

"No way, there's no way I'll let you beat me" Naruto said.

Itachi and Kisame had run into Naruto and his team. Kisame was busy dealing with Kakashi, Sakura and Sai while Naruto decided to take down Itachi on his own. It wasn't very bright, but Kisame and Itachi chose their opponents. Itachi wanted to test Naruto and see how far Naruto had come.

"You still have a long way to go Naruto" Itachi said.

"Screw you, you bastard" Naruto said as he spat out some blood.

He then charged with kunai in hand.

"I thought you'd have learned frontal assaults are useless" Itachi said.

He batted Naruto away only for it to be a clone. Itachi rose an eyebrow at this, but then leapt out of the way as Naruto dove down with RasenShuriken in his hand. Naruto slammed it to the ground obliterating the ground. Naruto leapt out of the hole he made and growled at his miss.

"Still too slow" Itachi said.

"I'll show you slow" Naruto growled.

Itachi stood there doing nothing.

Naruto then moved his hand in one of his pockets. Itachi readied himself for anything, but he wasn't ready for what appeared in Naruto's hand. There is Naruto's hand was a box of pocky. Itachi's eye twitched.

"What's the matter Itachi, expected something else?" Naruto asked with a grin.

"What are you up to Naruto?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know" Naruto said.

"You think that kind of dumb tactic will work?" Itachi asked.

"Depends, will you admit defeat for a box?" Naruto asked.

"No" Itachi said.

"Fine, how about two boxes" Naruto said pulling another pocky box out.

A small bit of sweat appeared on Itachi's forehead. It had been a long time since he had his pocky fix. He had run out and was in need to make another run, but he wasn't that desperate for pocky, was he?

"Okay, how about three boxes?" Naruto asked again pulling out another box.

Itachi twitched.

"Okay, okay. Boy, you drive a hard bargain. Five boxes and the last two are the jumbo size" Naruto said.

The two new boxes of treats were the jumbo boxes. Not many stores sold them. Itachi was trembling slightly. He couldn't, shouldn't fall for this, give in to his weakness, his pocky, his precious.

Naruto grinned. He could see Itachi breaking slowly. He knew taking lessons from that crazy lady named Anko would pay off. It helped expand his arsenal and become more of an unpredictable threat to his enemies.

"Fair enough. How about the five boxes with two of them being jumbo size and then to sweeten the deal how about I put in a limited edition box of pocky that contains a rare flavor" Naruto said.

The limited edition box made Itachi's eyes wide. If the jumbo size boxes were hard to find than the limited edition boxes are super rare. Itachi was really sweating now as he fought with himself. He couldn't give in, not to pocky. But he could hear it calling him, he swore he could.

"Come to us Itachi, come to us", Please, savor our delicious flavors, taste us. We know you want to", "You know you're just dying to try me, I am limited edition, you know".

Oh they were like sweet sirens singing their song to him. But he held firm though it was just barely.

"Okay, then here's my final offer. All that is here, plus tickets to the pocky factory to see where they make it along with a lifetime supply of pocky too" Naruto said with a grin.

Naruto had this all thanks to his absurd amount of luck. Naruto won the tickets to the pocky factory and the lifetime supply of pocky from two different drawings.

"So how about it Itachi? Do you surrender, and if you do then all of this is yours?" Naruto asked.

Itachi twitched badly, his tongue wiped across his lips.

"Going once" Naruto said as he started the hand signs for a fire jutsu to burn all the pocky stuff in front of him.

Itachi was trembling, shaking badly, trying to hold himself firm.

"Going twice" Naruto said.

Itachi's eye was twitching. He hadn't had any pocky for such a long time. He had ran out of his stash a while ago and hadn't be able to go and replenish his supply. What Naruto was presenting before him was glowing in a holy white light.

Just before Naruto could finished the hand signs for his fire jutsu Itachi launched himself and landed hugging all the pocky.

"MY PRECIOUS!" he hissed as he rubbed his face into the boxes.

"So does that mean you give up?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, yes I do. As long as I can have my precious, my pocky" Itachi said as he hugged and cradled the pocky like he was tending a baby.

"Great" Naruto said with a grin.

And that's how Naruto beat Itachi Uchiha, one of Konoha's biggest missing nin.

End

A/N: another How Naruto Beat is finished. Hoped you liked it. This one was fun to do since it was funny without it being disturbing at all. I don't mind writing the ones that are funny and disturbing, but like to have a nice balance to the two. Thanks for reading and please review.