News that one of the people rescued from Kamakura was joining JERICHO spread like a virus, infecting every hallway and corner of JERICHO's fortress. Within two days, it was impossible to walk down a corridor or turn a corner without finding two or more soldiers gossiping. It quickly became the prime topic of conversation in the mess hall and inside the quiet of people's personal quarters. Speculation had also become something of a sport, as many developed their own theories as to why Kohta wanted to join…each theory more farfetched than the last. These rumors quickly eclipsed the arrival of the Queen Diclonius to the base, much to Lucy's pleasure. She had grown weary of the secret glances cast her way whenever she ventured outside her room. And while she was glad these people had something else to occupy their bored minds, she also felt somewhat dejected. She hadn't seen much of Kohta lately, and wondered why he would make such a large and potentially dangerous decision without first telling her about it. She eventually had to hear about it while eavesdropping on a pair of gossiping soldiers. Lucy's first reaction was to confront Kohta about it, but she lacked the courage to do so at that moment. She eventually ended up in Mayu's room because she felt the need to bask in the innocent love of her girls.

Lucy sat comfortably on Mayu's bed, cuddling Nyu in her arms while she reached up with her tiny hands trying to get a handful of Lucy's hair, which now reached past her shoulders. Mayu sat cross-legged on the floor playing with Yuka, rolling a small rubber ball to her as she giggled and tried to push it back to her.

"Are you ok?" asked Mayu, noticing that Lucy was staring into space.

"It's nothing," Lucy said quickly. Even as the words left her mouth, she avoided Mayu's analyzing gaze, knowing it wouldn't be enough to fend her off.

"You're worried about Kohta, aren't you?" Mayu probed. An awkward silence followed. The dense air seemed to be swept away, replaced by the happy giggles of Yuka and Nyu…both blissfully ignorant to their mother's suffering.

"I just…don't know anymore," Lucy murmured hesitantly. Mayu remained quiet, waiting for Lucy to elaborate. "It's more than all the stuff that's been happening. Everything and everyone feel so distant now. It's like I'm wandering through a world where nobody knows me. And in the end, I just can't seem to trust people anymore…not even Kohta. And I don't think he can trust me." Mayu looked at Lucy with eyes glossing over with fresh tears.

"It's ok to feel that way sometimes," Mayu consoled.

"I'm not so sure," Lucy replied.

"Well, if you can't trust people, why are you telling me this?"

Lucy thought about it for a moment, not sure if she knew the answer herself. "I don't know. Maybe I just needed to tell someone." She looked down at Nyu's sweet smile. Normally, such a thing would've lifted her spirits instantly. However, even her own children felt as if they belonged to someone else. The feeling disturbed her greatly.

"Why do you think you feel this way?" Mayu asked.

"I don't know. I just don't know about anything anymore. Even before all this stuff began happening, I could feel as if I was growing apart from everyone. It may sound strange, but I felt as if I was going back to the way I was before…back when I couldn't trust anyone, back when I was alone and didn't want anyone with me. And when I think about going back to that, it scares me more than anything." Lucy began to tremble as the air suddenly became cold. Everything seemed much bigger now, and the room felt surprisingly crowded to her.

Mayu looked at Lucy with a pitying look that did nothing to make Lucy feel any better. Silence fell between them again. Mayu tried for a moment to think of an appropriate response, opening and closing her mouth several times in the process.

"I know you're going through a tough time," Mayu began, "We all are. But you can't let a few bad moments destroy what you already have. You're not alone, Lucy. You have me, Nana, the girls, and most importantly, you have Kohta. And we'll save Nana. I know we will. As for Kohta, the only way you'll be able to work things out is if you talk to him. How else will he know what's wrong if you won't tell him?" Mayu smiled kindly at Lucy. As Lucy absorbed her words, she had trouble believing that Mayu was as confident in her advice as she appeared to be. Yet nonetheless, she was thankful. Lucy didn't say anything. All she could muster in response was her own smile, which she hoped was enough for Mayu to sense her gratitude. It seemed to work, because at that moment, Mayu stood up, took a few steps until she was right beside Lucy, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's going to be alright," she said. Lucy grasped Mayu's hand in her own, but turned away. Although Mayu's speech was inspirational, it had done nothing to comfort her. If it were possible, she thought she felt worse. Because even now when someone was reaching out to her with a helping hand, she still felt utterly alone. The thought was the most depressing feeling Lucy had ever experienced.

"Thanks," she finally said after a great strain, not feeling at all reassured.

"You're welcome," Mayu said. "So, what say we get these girls fed?"

Lucy knew Mayu's brightened attitude was yet another strategy to lift her already downed spirits, but that seemed even less likely to help.

"Sure," Lucy whispered. Both Mayu and Lucy fed the twins, and then put them down to rest, after which Lucy dismissed herself from Mayu's room, saying she was going for a walk.

Luckily for Lucy, the halls were nearly empty. She never felt comfortable thinking while walking in these corridors. Often times, she felt the probing, and sometimes (she suspected), scornful stares of soldiers. She even had the sneaking suspicion that they could sense her thoughts. But with no one in the hall inspect her, she felt safe enough to explore her thoughts freely.

Why didn't Kohta come to me about this? This question had been nagging her the most over the past few days, more so than anything else had. It both worried and angered her. She feared for Kohta's life. Yet she was furious with him for not coming to her about it first. Whenever she thought this, guilt would rear its ugly head, reminding her about everything she had hidden from Kohta and the others, and everything she was still hiding from them.

That's different, she would tell herself. However, no matter how many times she tried, she couldn't find an explanation as to how they were different. She also failed to come up with any excuse as to why Kohta wouldn't come to her about this, always managing to find some reason he should.

He just didn't want to worry me, she tried to tell herself.

I was still going to find out anyway, retorted a more fierce voice inside her.

It's his business.

He should have told me about it first, she countered.

He just wants to protect us.

I'm the only one who can protect this family.

These contradicting, and sometimes angry thoughts followed her everywhere she went and refused to leave her in peace. It was like the old cliché of having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, each pulling her toward one side. Her spirit certainly felt strained enough, as if it was being pulled in both directions. But one thing was certain. Mayu was right. If Lucy didn't confront Kohta about this, then nothing would change.

Summoning all the pent up frustration, angry, and emotions that she had bottled up over the past few weeks, Lucy marched off toward the depths of JERICHO, dedicated to searching every room until she found Kohta, if it came to that.

With three quick pulls of the trigger, the gun rang out with thunderous shots that, if not for his protective earplugs, would've more than likely made Kohta go deaf. Kohta's hand trembled slightly as he held the cold steel weapon in his hands. Although four days had passed since he began his training, he still had not gotten use to the feel of a gun between his fingers. It seemed to vibrate with a forbidden power that he felt he was not supposed to wield. It felt unnatural to him, and he fully understood the potential of the weapon.

"You're not holding the gun right," Ray called out to him from behind. Kohta turned to face Ray as he leaned against the wall, watching him with a mentor's interest while Kohta fired at a paper target in JERICHO's firing range. With an indignant sigh, Ray walked over to Kohta and moved his hands into the proper position. "See, you hold the handle of the gun with one hand, and cuddle the bottom of it with the other."

"Ok," Kohta said, trying to hide his irritation. Kohta was growing increasingly weary of both Ray's constant corrections and his own ineptness. Kohta looked downward at the ground, feeling frustrated with himself. "Why am I not getting this?"

"It takes time to learn this sorta thing," Ray consoled. "Did you really expect to learn this within a few days?"

"I don't know," Kohta answered, suddenly feeling foolish for making the request to become a JERICHO soldier. "It didn't look that hard."

"It never does," Ray said with a chuckle, "But if it helps any, you're coming along pretty well…especially for having only started a few days ago and for someone who hasn't had any previous experience."

"Thanks," Kohta said with a smile.

"I think you mean 'thank you, sir,'" Ray corrected. Flushing, Kohta immediately stood at the attention stance he had learned and saluted Ray.

"I mean, uh…thank you, sir!"

"I was kidding," Ray said, holding back his laughter, "I've always hated that formal stuff anyway." Kohta's cheeks flushed such a bright shade of red they almost looked like a pair of red tomatoes.

"Ok," said Kohta, trying to relax, though his body still felt stiff and rigid.

"Try to loosen up, man," said Ray, reading Kohta's body language. "That's why you're missing in the first place. If you're all tense like that, you'll be lucky to hit anything. Ok, let's try again." Kohta shook his arms and legs in a vain attempt to relax. Placing his goggles and plugs back on, he faced the paper target at the opposite end of the firing range. However, before he could fire, Ray was next to him, raising his arms and legs into the proper position again. "Hold the gun like this. Aim with the sight down the line. And keep both eyes open."

Kohta closed his eyes, inhaled a few calming breathes, which seemed to slow the world down for him, opened both eyes and pulled the trigger. Even before the reverberating sound had completely faded into the air, Kohta knew he had hit the target. It wasn't in the dead center, but it was close.

"See. I told you," Ray crowed, slapping Kohta on the back so hard he staggered. Ray strolled to retrieve the target, and sure enough, the final shot mark was much closer to the center than the older ones.

"Sweet," Kohta said in celebration.

"Indeed," Ray concurred, "A hit like that would take down a soldier real quick." Kohta was about to open his mouth in reply when there was a loud banging on the door. Ray raised an eyebrow in confusion as he went to let the person in. "Who the hell knocks to be let into a public area?" His question was soon answered. As he opened the door, a very stern-looking Lucy walked in, ignoring Ray's presence altogether. She marched straight to Kohta, stopping mere feet away from him and looking him dead in the face.

"We need to talk," she demanded before either Ray or Kohta could interject. Kohta was unsure how to react for a moment. He then uttered a quiet plea to Ray, who got the message and discreetly left the room, shutting the door.

"Ok," Kohta said in an interested voice, "What do we need to talk about?"

"Us," Lucy said, pointing to Kohta and herself. Kohta groaned under his breathe. He knew this wasn't going to end well.

"What about us?"

"Don't give me that," Lucy retorted.

"Don't give you what?" Kohta said, honestly perplexed with Lucy's random temper.

"That 'what about us' crap! You know damn well what this is about!"

"Well, maybe you can enlighten me," Kohta said, trying to keep his own temper below the surface.

"Why didn't you come to talk to me about becoming a soldier," Lucy said, almost shouting. Her voice echoed off the walls. Kohta averted his eyes, feeling guilty.

"It was my decision," he said.

"This isn't a game, Kohta. We're in the middle of something really serious. You could get hurt."

"Then what am I to do, huh?" Kohta barked at her, his own raw emotions surfacing, "Just sit back and do nothing? I know this isn't a game, Lucy. I'm not a total idiot."

"What if you get hurt, Kohta? What about me and the girls?"

"Yeah, what about you? What about all the secrets you're keeping from us?" Kohta countered, turning her argument back on her.

"That's not what this is about," Lucy replied.

"Then what is this about, Lucy? I'd like to know," Kohta shot at her defensively. Lucy opened her mouth to reply, but then shut it again when she couldn't think of a reply. She turned away from him, almost ashamed to look him in the eye; like a child being scolded by an angry parent.

"I'm not sure myself," Lucy finally managed to say, still looking at the wall. Both of them fell silent as the air became much muggier. With his insides trembling, Kohta turned away and pretended to be putting away his equipment.

"I just don't know why we don't talk anymore," Lucy began again, "Ever since we gotten here it seems we talk less and less and I don't know why."

"Maybe it's because you feel guilty," Kohta said. Lucy looked up, unsure how to react to the statement.

"Excuse me?" she replied, perplexed.

"Maybe that's why you feel this way. If you had talked to us before when we were still in Kamakura, maybe we could have prevented any of this from happening," Kohta explained, still refusing to face her. Lucy's eyes narrowed so closely together they looked like slits.

"Don't you dare blame this whole mess on me," she shouted at him.

"Then why didn't you come to us for help?" Kohta shouted back, turning on his heels. "Don't you trust us?" Lucy buckled under this accusation and she stumbled on her feet.

"That's not it," she said, knowing before the words left her lips that they sounded less than convincing.

"So you're gonna stand there and get on me for simply not telling you something when you, for weeks, have kept things from me and Mayu?" Kohta said in a tone that suggested both scolding and hurt.

"I told you that was different," Lucy said again.

"And I keep waiting for you to tell me how," Kohta said.

"I didn't want you to worry," Lucy blurted out. Both were not backing down as they each glared at each other. The tenseness of the scene was slowly raising their body heat, causing them to sweat.

"That's a bull excuse and you know it," Kohta told her, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction. "You're still hiding something, aren't you?"

"N-no, I'm not," Lucy stammered. Suddenly, Kohta's body, which had been stiff and rigid a moment ago, straightened and relaxed. His face too slightly slackened, showing instead of a face of intense anger, an even sadder expression of the utmost disappointment.

"I think you should go," Kohta said calmly, turning his back on Lucy again.

"But –," Lucy began, but her words became lost to her.

"I think you need to take some time to yourself. It's pretty clear that you still have some trust issues you need to work out. Maybe it's best if we have some time apart while we're here so we can both think things through. I'm sorry, but could you leave me alone?" If Kohta had been facing Lucy, he would have seen the tear that fell from her eyes like liquid diamond. Lucy said nothing and made no further sound. She simply did as he asked her and turned to leave the room as quietly as a phantom. Kohta stood there for a moment, not desiring to move. He squeezed his hands into a fist so tightly he could feel the skin of his fingers stretch. His arms were shaking violently now, and he couldn't stop them. With all the strength he had, Kohta raised a hand and punched the wall, releasing all his fury with one strike.

The action hurt his hand so badly he thought he might have broken all his fingers, but he didn't care. Cursing himself for what he said to Lucy, Kohta fell to his knees, burying his face into his hands, crying madly. What hurt more than anything was not how cruel he had been, but was how every word he had spoken to Lucy was how he truly felt. And the guilt that he had been heartless enough to speak these thoughts…thoughts about how she may have, in fact, been at fault for everything that had happened was unbearable.

As Lucy slinked away, Ray Henigan stood unnoticed by the door with a satisfied grin across his demented face. His eyes poured into Lucy's back as she turned a corner and disappeared. He chanced a quick glance inside the firing range, stealthily peeking around the door in just enough time to see Kohta punch the opposite wall. The sound rang out with the torment Ray could see on Kohta's face as he slumped down, burying his face in his hands. He watched for a moment or two, enjoying Kohta's anguish before walking away with his hands in his pockets. After strolling down several corridors, a sinister chuckle hissed between his teeth once he felt he was alone. The laughter echoed off the cold steel.

Things were going much better than he could have hoped for.