Ch. 5

Sookie sat on her old creaky porch swing, basking in the moon light, listening to the sounds of the cool fall night. Her feet rolled from heel to toe, toe to heel, slowly in time with her breath. She was left with nothing but her melancholy thoughts as she wiped away the silent tears that rolled down her cheeks. Seeing Eric was harder than she anticipated, and nothing like what she expected. He was so cold and angry and hurt. Did you expect him to be any other way Stackhouse, she chastised. He just saw his former lover, former wife, ex-wife, when he thought she was long dead and gone. However, their meeting left her convinced of one thing, and that was that there was nothing left for her in this world. Not anymore. Her one and only option now was to go home to the rest of her family and she resolved herself to her decision, and that it was for the best. No more death and loss, not anymore.

She sensed him before he made his presence known. Resigned, she sighed, and preemptively warned, "Please, Eric, I don't want to fight." She said it as if he were sitting right next to her instead of standing at the edge of the woods, but she knew he would be able to hear her just as well.

"Neither do I Sookie," he said as he slowly walked into the open and towards her on the porch.

Eric slowly approached the porch, uncertain of exactly how to proceed. Meeting his eyes, Sookie resolved his dilemma when she said "Why are you here Eric?" It recalled to him the very words he asked Sookie not an hour and a half earlier. Hearing his words repeated back to him, he became more intent on his purpose … to convince her to stay, one way or another.

"You said you wanted closure," he said as he walked up the porch steps and leaned against the railing next to Sookie. Crossing his arms over his chest he said, "Well, I don't want closure. I want you to stay."

Sookie sat stunned. Of all the things Eric could say to her at this moment, that wasn't even in the top 100 things she would have ever guessed. She had resigned herself to her fate, and here he was screwing with her decision, her certainty in her decision. "God Eric. Seriously? Your timing is impeccable."

"You're still here aren't you? Then I'm not too late," he said with a characteristic smirk.

The smirk was more than she could bear. It reminded her of the cocky, arrogant, high-handed Eric of her past. She had to tell herself, she wasn't that Sookie anymore. Plus, she was still reeling from their last encounter, so she put up her defenses. "And what exactly has changed in the last hour and a half Eric? I told you my decision, to leave this world. And you showed me the door. You didn't stop me from leaving," breaking into nervous laughter she continued, "You practically kicked me out!"

Eric's smirk faltered. He saw this wasn't going to be an easy task. Truth be told, he didn't make this easy for himself, given how things transpired earlier in the evening. He knew that and with a sigh he said, "I would like to think that in 1300 years, a man – even a vampire – can become self-aware enough to change … to admit when he is wrong. I was wrong Sookie. There is something for you here on earth. A reason for you to stay."

"What? … You? … Love? … Nothing like the 11th hour with you, huh?" she asked incredulously. "Eric, you are both a happy and painful chapter in my life. But in case you haven't noticed, like you, I've moved on. I lived the remainder of my human life and my life as an angel without you. And now I'm moving on again. If I were you, I'd skedaddle before the sun comes up and takes you to Valhalla too," she warned, knowing sunrise was no more than an hour or so away.

"Then you really don't understand anything about me or my past 250 years," he said sadly. "I never moved on Sookie. Not from you."

"I find that incredibly hard to believe," she chuffed.

Eric's eyes zeroed in on Sookie. She really wasn't going to make this easy for him. "You love me," he said definitively. After all, he had the cluviel dor to prove it.

Sookie let out an exasperated sigh. "What is this Eric?! What the fuck! It's over between us. We're done. I'm moving on. Don't you get it?"

"You. Love. Me," he restated slowly.

Sookie knew she couldn't deny him; she had told him as much more than an hour ago. Yielding she softly replied, "You know I do. I did, and I do. And it's over," and she firmly returned his stare.

"It doesn't have to be over Sookie. Stay with me," he said, moving to the swing and hesitating momentarily, to check her reaction, before sitting down next to her. He slowly took her hands in his, and again they glowed slightly at the contact. "I want to make amends. Make right the wrongs I did to you when you were human. I want you to know that the years haven't been easy for me. I've risen every night these past 250 years with the knowledge that I lost the one thing… the one person… I never wanted to live without." A silent tear snaked its way down Sookie's cheek, but with her hands held in Eric's, she couldn't bring herself to wipe it away. "I want you here, with me. Otherwise, I don't choose to rise another night. Not without you in my life."

At his words, Sookie's eyes widened in disbelief. "You can't mean …" she began, unable to finish her sentence.

"I do," his voice was strong and unwavering.

"But … you've always had such joie de vivre..."

He gently squeezed her hands, "I did, once; but not in a long time. If I can't be with you on this plane, then I will follow you to the next."

Sookie took a deep gulp of air. "Eric, I … I can't let you do that… meet the sun," and unconsciously Sookie threw a quick glance at the horizon and noticed the sky was definitely lighter than when Eric first arrived.

"Then stop me. Stay," he said, stroking the back of Sookie's hands with his thumbs.

"Eric, my time here is done. I can't stay. What is there for me here? You? Love? Is it even enough?" she asked. "What happens when vampire politics get in the way again? Or, assuming we can avoid vampire politics, however unlikely that is, what happens when you tire of me? I'm immortal now, for as long as I choose to exist. I may have been a novelty to you back then, with a human life span of a mere 150 years, but you're talking forever now."

Eric could not hide the hurt or anger he felt at Sookie's words. "You think my love for you is some passing fancy? Do you want me to prove my love for you? Fine. Then let's sit here and meet the sun together. Will you know how much I love you then?" he challenged.

"Eric, I … I don't doubt that you love me … as much as you're able," she said repeating back his words to her from so many years ago, "but you've always been up front about caring for yourself more than anyone else."

Eric sighed unnecessarily. "I know I once told you I loved you as much as I was able. The thing is, I didn't realize that my ability to love you was limitless. Don't you see, my sweet Sookie, I love you more than myself and I'm willing to prove it to you." Despite her innate stubbornness and refusal to accept his profession of love, Sookie couldn't help but feel a small chink in her armor as her heart soared upon hearing his words ... words she wanted to hear from him so long ago. But is it too late? Is it even enough now?, she asked herself. Eric could see the doubt and indecision in her eyes, so he pushed on, "I have pined away for you every night for the past 250 years, each night growing more and more desolate. You can ask Pam, as she has felt my despair in our bond. After my contract with Oklahoma expired, Pam has been trying to keep me on this plane. It wasn't until tonight though that I realized that without you, I don't want to exist, not as I have."

Sookie's eyes flashed hot again. "Fucking and feeding? I heard several women tonight and saw what fond memories they had of your time together," Sookie spat, recalling her encounter with the women outside of Fangtasia.

"Sookie, I haven't fucked anyone since my contract with Oklahoma ended. I have been glamoring women into thinking we've fucked and that has kept many of them coming back to Fangtasia, and bringing their friends. It is good for business," Eric said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Bullshit," Sookie denied.

"As I've told you before, I will never lie to you Sookie."

"But fucking and feeding … it's what you do. It's the vampire way," and Sookie couldn't help the doubt that crept into her voice. "Right?" her faced searched his for the truth. This was certainly one of those times she wished she could read vampire minds.

"Sookie, vampires do have to feed to survive, and I have fed. And while fucking can be an enjoyable pastime, at least it usually is, we don't have to fuck to survive. Honestly, I haven't wanted to be with anyone since you. Of course, when in Oklahoma I had to do what was required of me by my contract, but even Freyda had to admit that she got tired of me pretending she was you, calling out your name. After a time, the obligatory annual fuck became perfunctory. I think she came to loathe it as much as I did."

"I ... I don't understand…" Sookie said with furrowed brow, questioning for the first time everything she ever thought she knew about vampires, and in particular, the vampire in front of her.

"I want to prove myself to you. Prove my love to you. I can only do that if you stay with me and give me a chance," Eric entreated, himself noticing the sky was increasingly lighter.

"But I made up my mind," Sookie weakly protested.

"Then change it," Eric pressed.

"I … I don't know. So much as passed between us. We can't possibly go back…"

Eric cut her off, "I know I've made mistakes and I wish more than anything that I can take them back. And now, if you want me to, I can," he said, lifting one hand from hers to stroke the cluviel dor over his shirt.

Sookie's eyes followed Eric's hand and she knew his meaning immediately, shaking her head "no" all the while. "That's not the point Eric. My gift is your out, when your world pushes you to do something you don't want to do…. Wait… Is that why you're here? To use the cluviel dor to change the past? Undo the wrongs between us. You would do that?"

"I am prepared to do that. To undo all the hardships you have encountered in your life. To start fresh, if that is what you want. If that is what it takes to get you to stay, I will undo it all … undo my marriage to Oklahoma… go back to before you met Bill… before you were orphaned even. You just need to say the words and it is done," Eric said, gripping the cluviel dor through his shirt.

"No!" Sookie protested, covering his hand with hers. "No," she said more calmly. "I don't want that... There was a time when I would have said yes … maybe when I was human and younger, but I have come to understand that those things that happened to me in my life, even though they were painful, they made me who I am now. Even if I could change it, I wouldn't. It's the same reason I came to you with my scars, the ones I bear, physical and emotional; they made me who I am and I am at peace with that."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Eric replied, his voice full of sadness and regret. He would love nothing more than to give Sookie a life full of happiness and joy; the life she deserved.

"So why did you offer it?" Sookie asked, genuinely curious.

"I had to at least give you the choice."

"Since when do you care about what I want? You normally ask for forgiveness, not permission," she bristled.

Eric ran his hand this hair and tried to find the words necessary to explain. "When I was first made vampire, I had no control over my existence. Appius controlled me in every way. Even after he released me, I had to answer to him and to vampire hierarchy. And when Appius returned, even after he met his true death, I couldn't avoid his command. I know now that is what I was doing to you when I shut you out and made decisions that affected you without talking to you about them first. I may have done it to protect you, but I can see now how misguided that thinking was. You are stronger than I was ready to admit Sookie."

Sookie began to silently sob. "Eric, I … I just don't know…"

"Sookie, look at me," Eric pleaded as he shot a quick glance at the sky. The stars now were increasingly fading, giving way to the coming morning. "I want you. Whether it is here on earth or in the hereafter, then so be it. I am not going to let you go. Not again. If it is the past that bothers you, then I can change it, and will without question. You can live a happy life, free from the hardships you have endured, the losses you have suffered. I will gladly do that for you, for us. You just need to say the word. Tell me what you want from me, and I will give it to you."

Sookie squeezed her eyes closed as her tears fell quickly now. Eric hating to see Sookie cry, pulled her into a hug and they sat there on the porch swing in a tight embrace. He stroked her hair over and over, whispering words of comfort to her in a long dead language. It was everything she ever wanted … at least it was at one time. Could it really be enough now?

They sat like that, lost in each other, for just how long neither really knew. It wasn't until the sky suddenly brightened and panic struck Sookie. "It's too soon … it can't be dawn already!" Sookie screamed.

Eric simply looked Sookie in the eyes. The calmness in his eyes unnerved her and before she knew it, he pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss. If he were to perish from this earth, then he wanted one last kiss with Sookie before his existence ended. The kiss went on and on though. Eventually, despite the lightening sky, Sookie saw that Eric wasn't burning up in the sun and she pulled away from him to look at the source of the light.

Eric reluctantly broke their kiss and followed her gaze. Before them was a brilliant shining white light, only it wasn't the sun.

"Great Creator," Sookie whispered. Eric whispered "Odin" and something else in a foreign tongue, and despite the fact that Sookie didn't know what he said, his awe was evident from his tone. They sat still, giving the light their undivided attention.

"Sookie … Eric," the light spoke with a soft woman's voice. "Sookie, you have made your decision. I am here to receive it."

"I … I thought I had decided, but I'm not so sure anymore," Sookie hedged.

Eric quickly looked to Sookie's face, basked in the Great Creator's light. He knew that if she were to leave him, he would follow her … to the ends of the earth and beyond.

"Sookie," the light said, "I know you better than you know yourself. You have made your decision; you just haven't spoken it yet."

"Tell me what to do, what to say," she pleaded.

"Tell me what you've already decided," the light pressed back.

"I … I don't know..." She felt she'd collapse under the pressure of her answer. It seemed it wasn't just her future at issue anymore.

"Stay Sookie," Eric pleaded. He grasped her chin with his forefinger and thumb and pulled her face to his. His eyes searched her's, hoping beyond reason that she would simply say the words he so desperately needed to hear.

"I… I…" she stuttered.

"My child," the light called, "Look into your heart, the answer lies there. But you must say it. Speak child."

"I'm tired of death … I don't know that I can guard... and lose... another," Sookie hesitated. Peter's passing was still fresh in her mind. She could stay, but to do so meant she'd have to live through more losses; more than she thought she was capable of bearing.

"Stubborn angel," the light chastised. "Say it Sookie, speak your choice," the Great Creator gently commanded.

"I … yes," she said to the Great Creator. Then, turning to Eric she said, "Yes, Eric. I'll stay. It will mean that I will continue to have to say goodbye to those in my care, seeing them onto heaven, but I'm willing to do it, if you help me. Will you? Will you be with me?" Sookie asked, looking up to Eric through tear-stained lashes.

"Sookie," Eric breathed as he pulled her into his chest in an embrace. He firmly kissed her temple and then moved to her soft, warm lips. "I promise you, I will prove myself to you. You will know my love for all the days of eternity. And I can help you bear the losses of those in your care. As a vampire, I too have known many losses and I understand your suffering. Let me be there for you; allow me to help ease your pain."

Sookie slowly turned towards the light. Her clothes magically became the white gossamer gown of an angel and she said, "Great Creator, I am ready for my next charge."

The light pulsated and spoke again, "Sookie, your next charge is Eric Northman. Do your job well and you will never again know the death of a charge. And if you do, then I know you will be following him to heaven and the great beyond."

Sookie looked puzzled. She had never heard of an angel being assigned to a vampire before. Was that even possible? "Eric?" she asked, both a question and a plea for confirmation.

"Yes Sookie. Your lives are intertwined. Show him he has a soul and that it is worth saving. He is your charge now, your responsibility. Guard his existence well." With that, the light slowly began to fade away.

Eric and Sookie sat on the swing alone once again, watching the light fade. However, some lightness remained as the sun began to climb the sky.

After a brief moment of stunned silence, Sookie could just make out the rising sun through the forest trees in the distance and she shouted, "Eric, we have to get you out of here. The dawn is coming!" She stood and tried to lift Eric, but the pull of dawn was already pulling him under, making him lethargic. "Eric! Come on, I need you to help me!" The light began to slowly break over the tree line and a light smoke began to rise from Eric's exposed skin.

"Eric, I'm going to move you into the house, okay, but you have to help me. One foot in front of the other, okay!" she shouted trying to get through to him in his daytime induced stupor.

Eric simply nodded and then, raising his hand to his neck, he pulled out the cluviel dor. Sookie barely noticed, being so focused on the door to her old farmhouse. She knew the cubby was there, so there was still a light tight space of safety just 60 feet away. Then she heard him say it. It was only a whisper, but the word was unmistakable: "Evigt."

The cluviel dor burst open and a green light washed over Eric, the force of which lifted him up a few feet into the air, his arms and legs splayed and his head tipped back with his hair framing his face like a golden halo, tinged with the green light of the cluviel dor's magic. Sookie stood back aghast, but she didn't release his hand. The green light similarly spilled onto her as well and she felt the tingle of her magic permeate them both.

Once the green light began to subside, Eric slowly lowered back down to earth and what she saw amazed her. The reddish sunburn that had begun to mar his beautiful face began to recede, the rising smoke died away and Eric became self-aware, moving on his own despite the dawn. Eric took a great, unnecessary breath as the rising sun broke fully above the tree line and bathed the front of the old farmhouse in the early morning sunlight.

"Eric! You're okay!" Sookie squealed, unable to help herself from stating the obvious.

Eric looked himself over and as his eyes met Sookie's he said, "Yes, my Sookie. I am." Notwithstanding that it had been more than 1300 years since Eric had seen the sun (but for that brief time in Rhodes), he never shifted his eyes from her and towards the continually rising sun. He simply couldn't tear his eyes from the beautiful woman before him. He had never seen Sookie bathed in sunlight and she was even more breathtaking than he had imagined, even more beautiful than in his painting.

"I … I don't understand. How? What did you wish for? What is 'evigt'?" she asked looking at the now spent cluviel dor hanging around Eric's neck.

"Evigt," he repeated. "Forever."

"Forever," she quietly repeated.

"Forever with you ... forever," he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her gently at first. However, as the kiss grew more intense, he pulled back briefly and said, "And even then, forever with you will not be long enough." After another long, passionate kiss, Eric pulled Sookie tightly into his chest, firmly clasped her waist, and then shot off into the morning sky.

…

5 weeks later….

They had never been happier. There was no intrigue, no politics, no enemies. Not even the sun could harm Eric anymore, or force him into a daytime sleep, thereby cutting his days with Sookie short. They owed it all to the magic of the cluviel dor. The only thing they had was time … time getting to know each other once again; reconnecting with each other; loving each other; and they didn't waste a minute of it.

It took a little doing, but since Eric held no formal position in vampire hierarchy anymore, he just needed to make sure all was well with Pam and John and wrap up his business affairs before he was able to leave the state. Pam assured Eric and Sookie that she could cover for Eric with the King. If the King was threatened, Pam would be able to recall her Maker and solicit his aid. That was all Phillipe would really care about - having Eric's sword if needed. And since Sookie hadn't made her presence on earth generally known to anyone after becoming an angel, it was easy for her to continue to keep her existence hidden and leave unnoticed.

After Eric learned of Sookie's fondness for the Haitian people, and her lifetime's work there, he bought a beach front home near her old house in the Dominican Republic. Together, they trekked into Haiti daily to help the poor. Whether as an angel or from her inherent goodness, Sookie wanted to ease the pain of those who suffered. It seemed to her that this part of the world had so much poverty, natural disasters, and government corruption, there was much to be done. But if they ever finished their work there, who knew where they would travel to; there are always those in need. Surprising himself, Eric even found their work personally rewarding. In fact, with each good act, his soul glowed a bit brighter each day and he finally started to accept that he did have a soul after all, and that maybe, just maybe, through his kind acts, he could redeem himself.

Of course, when they weren't in Haiti helping people, they were together … in bed, on the beach, in the ocean, in the jungle ... whether in the sun or in the moonlight.

"Do you ever think we'll tire of this?" Sookie asked as they lay naked in bed, with only a sheet covering the lower half of their bodies. She lay just across Eric's upper back, peppering his shoulder with light kisses as one hand combed through his hair.

"Never," Eric said as he flipped her over on her back, pressing her into the bed with his hips. One hand stroked her hair while the other lightly outlined her face, her neck, moving to the curve of her breast, and down to the scar left from where she was staked in Jackson. True to their first meeting, she kept her 29-year old form. For Eric, he had mixed emotions about this. He hated seeing her scars … being reminded of how cruel life had treated her all those years ago, but he loved the strength she seemed to get from this form and her acceptance of herself.

Eric slowly lowered himself to kiss her scar, and then he proceeded down her body, tracing the faded scars from Neave and Lochlan's torture and kissing them too in his futile attempt to kiss them away. When he got down to her thighs, she let out a sigh and looked down to meet his gaze. There is nothing like the comfort and familiarity of an old lover. After all these years, he didn't need to tell her to watch him. She enjoyed watching him please her. And please her he did.

After she reached her second climax, he turned her onto her stomach and positioned himself at her entrance. As he began to slowly press his way into her, their light began to glow, breaking the barriers of their skin and filling the room with their combined brightness. His pace was steady, rhythmic and unrelenting.

"Never enough. Never enough of you my Sookie," he said, timing his words to each thrust of his hips.

Sookie arched her back, meeting each thrust with a small thrust of her own. "Yes. I'm yours ... your Sookie ... and you are mine," she said, eliciting a feral growl. "Claim me. Bite me," she commanded as she moved her hair back from her shoulder.

Eric's growl grew louder and his thrusts intensified … growing faster and harder. Finally, he bent down, dragging his fangs along the arch of her neck, gently scraping the skin.

Biting an angel isn't like biting a human. Angels are beings of light, not flesh and blood. If a vampire bites an angel, he drinks in her light. For most, it is fatal, as light tends to be for vampires. But for Eric and Sookie, the magic of the cluviel dor ... evigt ... changed that for them.

As Eric's fangs pressed into Sookie's neck, her light spilled into Eric's mouth, making his own light glow stronger, and he purred his contentment. To him, her light was better than blood, even fairy blood. In fact, the thought of drinking fairy blood instead of drinking Sookie's light turned Eric's stomach. It may as well be mud ... or True Blood, for that matter.

Instead of weakening Sookie, feeding Eric her light strengthened her as well. It was part of the connection of their souls.

As Eric drank, his hand worked its way beneath Sookie and began to rub her clit. Finally, one, two, three, four thrusts later, Eric released his bite and they both cried out their pleasure, riding out their orgasms. As they did so, their combined light burst forth and engulfed the room.

They lay on top of the bed, spent and sated. Eric was pressed into Sookie's back, cuddling her from behind. He reverently kissed the place on her neck where he had just drank from, although his marks were no longer there. She snuggled down into the bedding, pulling his large right hand around her waist, holding it in her small hand just at her chest. He pressed one more kiss into her temple and as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear he whispered, "Evigt, forever."

A/N: I'm going to run and duck for cover now! I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this chapter. So many of you wanted Eric to use the cluviel dor to go back in time and start over with Sookie ... righting the wrongs ... and it was so tempting to write this story like that. But I really had envisioned this as a finite story (remember, I was originally writing for a challenge after all, even though I didn't finish it in time to enter it). If I were to go back into time, well, that is a book in itself and I'm not sure I can do it justice right now. For now, I am going to turn my attention back to my other WIP; however, if there is enough interest, I think I may write an alternate ending to this story at some point (although I do like this ending, very much), where Eric does go back in time. We'll see if that is just another chapter, or a spin-off story of its own if I write it at all. Again, thank you all for sticking with this story and for reviewing. It has been wonderful hearing all of your ideas.

And a special thanks goes to tabularasa88. She really is a wonderful proofreader and general bouncer of ideas. If you enjoyed this story, it is undoubtedly because of all the behind the scenes work and advice she offered.