Title: His death

Author: narusasu2009

Pairing: Shizaya

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY characters! They belong to Narita Ryohgo, from Durarara!

Warning: Izaya's death.

Summary: Death is always the worse, especially if you lose the one you love the most.

Shizuo's POV

White. It was everyone so white, bright. The walls, the ceiling, the bed sheets. It just stank with hospital! But I didn't pay much attention on the smell, because there was something more important. Right in front of me.

Izaya.

He was lying on the hospital bed, a mask on his face giving him air, heart beat machine plugged to him, some medical thing dripping by the straw right in to his left arm veins. The scene itself made me feel like shit. I wouldn't be so worried about him, if he wouldn't be on the edge of life and death.

"Izaya..." I whispered, standing beside his bed and looking down at his closed eyelids. How much have it been already? A month? Half year? Year? I lost count of the time by now. He is in the hospital pretty long, that his hair grew longer till his shoulders. And I myself changed.

From all this stress, worried about him, I smoke more often than before. My hair also have grown longer and I always forgot to cut it. Instead of wearing my bartender uniform, why my younger brother Kasuka gave me, I was wearing usual blue jeans with a white shirt and few buttons open on it. People were afraid about me, seeing me not my usual self.

Well, how can I be myself, if the person I love the most is lying right in front of me, between life and death, that can die any second I just turn away. This is so unfair! Why... Why must life take him from me? Did I really hurt him too much that he ended up here? I didn't gave him too much of my love? What... What on Earth could I do to make him be the same annoying, mind manipulator and crazy flea again? I would give antyhing, just to see him give me that smirk, run away from me as I chase him around Ikebukuro.

But now.. But now it's over. I can't be the same easily pissed off monster, and he can't be the same jerk informant flea.

"Izaya... I'm here..." I say, as I took hold of his left hand, putting my index and middle finger in his palm, while my thumb brushes the front of his half cold hand, also brushing against the second ring on it.

His eyes slowly open up. Oh, how it hurts me to look at them. The redness what was before in them fade away, they were half empty, blue shades under his eyes from tiredness, and probably from his illness also. Izaya blinks few times, looking at the ceiling as he eyes move around and stop at me. A weak smile shows on his face.

"Shizu-chan... hey." he speaks weakly, what makes my heart crack. I take chair beside his bed and sit on it, still holding his hand.

"Hey." I say, trying to put on a smile, even though it is hard to do for me. "How are you feeling today, flea?" I stopped using that nickname since he got in the hospital, but I still said it when talked to him. Just to make him a bit happy, hearing the same nickname, even though we talked like normal people.

"Not bad. cough Same... cough as always..." he coughed, his mask covering with blur on it. Ugh, how it hurt to see at him in this state. Yet he still stayed strong. "Any news... out there?"

"Nothing new, I guess. Simon still works in Russian Sushi, Shinra a crazy Celty fan as always," Izaya chuckled on that, "and same underground doctor. Though he is on a vacation right now with Celty. They went to Ireland as their honeymoon. They got married half month ago." I noticed a smile widen on his face as he listens to me.

"Ah, really? Mm, so... nice... cough Too bad I missed.. their wedding, haha-" he coughed many times, making me flinch and wanting to push the button to call a nurse but he grabbed my hand before I even could raise it any higher. I was always ready to push it, just in case he would feel bad but Izaya always stopped me. Damn him...

"I bet in Ireland is warm by now... ne, Shizu-chan?" he continued after finishing coughing.

"Yeah..." I nodded my head, my eyes focused on the monitor, showing his heart beat. Why... It looked strange somehow to me? Did the numbers...

"Shizu-chan" I took my gaze off the monitor and meeting with Izaya's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Ne... Can we... go somewhere on a trip, after cough cough ...I'm out of here?"

That made my heart crack again. God, what am I suppose to answer him? Yes, making him so happy but break his hopes if he won't get out of here any time soon? Or say No, and break his hopes at all, making his condition more worse?

"...I want to... See the world with you, Shizu-chan.." he continued after seeing I was quiet for some time. He squeezed my two fingers. I glanced down at his hand, looking how the golden ring shined with a little sunlight getting in the room. I couldn't do anything but smile back at him.

"Of course! But if only you won't ruin it with your annoying pranks." I smirk, making him giggle and a bit laugh. Though his usual happy, cheerful laugh is right now cracked up, his sore throat making it sound like my grandpa's laugh.

"Alright then, it's a cough cough cough...cough...a promise, ne?" he smiled, as I wanted to smile back and nod, but stopped when saw... blood dripping down the side of his mouth? BLOOD?!

Suddenly I hear the heart beat monitor making loud noises.

Beep... Beep beep... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

My eyes widen, as I see the scale of heart beat jumping like wild, then freezing at 0 at all for few seconds, and then jumping again. Izaya starts coughing violently, small drops of blood splattering against the mask over his mouth.

"No..." I say in horror, as quickly push the red button beside his bed, then run to the door and open it with loud noise. "SOMEONE! GET HERE, HE IS DYING!" I shout, as I run back to Izaya's bed and grab his hand.

"S-Shizu- cough cough COUGH" blood splatters more against the mask. He will choke on his own blood like this! I pull on the rubber around his head, taking the mask off and only lifting a bit, blood rolls down the both sides of his cheeks and on to the white sheets, coloring them in bright red.

"NO!" I hear a nurse scream behind me as she runs to me and grabs my hands and pulls them away. "Don't take his mask off! You will make it worse!"

"But he is-"

I don't get to finish my words as she continues. "Quickly girls! Call the doctor" Two nurses run up to Izaya's bed and start taking out injection and surgery supplies.

Surgery supplies?

I ask myself, looking at the little knifes. My panic rises.

"What's going on with him?!"

"You! Get out of here!" One of the nurses pushes me out of the room, pushing my back. I start to struggle and refuse.

"No way! I can't leave him!"

"We need to help him and you will be only in the way, Heiwajima-san!" she says, pushing me fully out of Izaya's room. "Just wait here! Heiwajima-kun will be fine!"

I looked at her angrily wanting to say something, but my eyes look at Izaya. His face... it was looking with horror, on his face was seen he was really scared. I could see his mouth move, or more tremble, as more blood rolls down his cheeks and chin.

'S-Shizu.. chan... H-Help-.. Don't leave-.. me'

I could read by his shaking lips, as my heart beats faster.

"Let me in! He needs me!"

"I said no!" as she shuts the door right in front of me when I was about to step in.

Fuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

As time passes by, my eyelids begin to be heavier and heavier as each second passes. I was stressed, tired. The whole time I was sitting in the hallway I couldn't forget Izaya's face. The look he gave me...

God, if-... Why 'if'? When he will get out of here, I hope to erase that look he gave me for the rest of my life!

I sigh, digging fingers in my bleached blonde hair, ruffling it. I look up at the ceiling, one lamp turning off and on every 6 seconds. This was irritating.. How long I'm suppose to wait here?

"Shizu-chan" I took my gaze off the monitor and meeting with Izaya's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Ne... Can we... go somewhere on a trip, after cough cough ...I'm out of here?"

"Izaya..." I say, remembering his words.

"...I want to... See the world with you, Shizu-chan.."

"Fuck..." I shut my eyes, holding back small tears. "Izaya... I promise..." I look at my left hand, the ring shining. "I promise to take you where you want. Far away as you wish. Just... hold in there... please..." I pull up my knees to my chin, as I sit on the hallway floor.

After some moment, the door opens. My head quickly looks up as my body gets up. The doctor comes out, his rubber gloves covered in blood. My eyes widen at it.

Wait.. No, Izaya is alright. He had just blood on him because he coughed... right? Right!

I thought, calming myself down as I walked up to the doctor.

"Finally, doctor! How is he? Is Izaya feeling better? Say something!" I ask with a worried smile. I wait for good news to hear, but... The doctor gives me a sad look.

Was something wrong with Izaya?

"I'm sorry..."

My eyes start to widen.

Sorry?

"We..."

No... Don't tell me-

"We couldn't save him, Heiwajima-san." the doctor looks down as he says the words.

...no...no..!

"NO!" I yell, pushing the doctor aside and running to Izaya's bed. And the only thing I see Izaya's closed eyes, mouth, face, clothes and bed sheets covered in blood. And mostly... The heart beat monitor showing a straight line.

"...Izaya... Izaya!" I shout, starting to shake his shoulder, but his body shakes only in response, but his eyes won't open and mouth doesn't talk. "IZAYA!"

Hurt.

Desperate.

I wanted to see him move! I want to hear him talk! I want to feel his touch! I want to talk to him!

"IZAYA! WAKE UP! PLEASE!" tears appear on my eyes, starting to roll down my cheeks. His body... His arms, they were getting cold! "IZAYAAAA!" I shout as much as I can, just like before I did. But he still doesn't move... "...please... please..." I whisper, my own hands starting to shake. My vision starts to blur as I look at his relaxed face.

Why... Why are you not waking up...? Dammit, Izaya! Don't you dare leave me!

"Flea! I promised to go with you on a trip!" I grab his left hand with my left, as I squeeze it, "I promised! You just can't die! You hear me, flea?! WAKE UP, DAMMIT!"

Suddenly a hand touches my shoulder, as I turn and look up at the doctor.

"Heiwajima-san, please stop it. He is dead."

His words... They crush my heart, make my eyes widen more in disbelief.

No.. He couldn't die... He CAN'T die!

But the doctor is right.

His cold body, his calm face, the blood around him, the quiet heart beat monitor.

Everything points at his death, but... I don't want to believe in it! I don't want to!

God.. Please, make him live! Make his heart beat again, his body warm! I... I don't want to be left alone... Please!

But no matter how much I prayed, how strong I wouldn't hold his hand and look out our marriage rings, the fact would stay the fact... And it was obvious...

Izaya is dead.