Guilty Fear

Norway and Denmark were spending the night at the shorter nation's house, the former reading a book on the couch while the latter sat next to him, calling him and pulling at his sleeve to get his attention. "Noooorrrgggeeee!"

"What is it Den?"

"Booored!"

Not looking up, Lukas continued reading. "And just what do you want me to do about it?"

"Read to me?"

A slight sigh is given. "Oh, alright."

Smiling brightly, Mathias snuggled up next to Lukas and lay his head on the other's shoulder, ready to listen to the story. The Norwegian settled down again, picking up where he left off in the book.

"She cannot receive any power from me greater than she now has, which consists in her own purity and innocence of heart. If she cannot herself obtain access to the Snow Queen, and remove the glass fragments from little Kai, we can do nothing to help her..."

"You're doing it wrong!" Mathias interrupted suddenly, recognizing the story. "This book is one of mine, so you gotta read it in my language for the characters to sound correct."

The reader merely sighed. "I'm simply reading it in the language it was printed in, Mathias."

"But Nooorrrrge, it doesn't sound right! Read it in Danish, pleeeeease?"

Lukas rolled his eyes slightly. "You just want me to speak Danish, don't you? Even though our languages are almost identical..."

"Well that's just because I taught you to speak. Come on, read it again, in Danish this time? Please?"

"Heh. I suppose, seeing as you asked so nicely."

At that, Denmark grinned brightly, resettling himself as Norway continued reading. As time went by, the taller nation began nodding sleepily, the soft sound of his lover's even voice lulling him slowly to sleep.

"Men han sad stille og stiv og kold. Gerda kaste hede tårer, og da de faldt over ham, de gik lige til hans hjerte. De smeltede klump is og brændt væk splinten af glas i det. Han så op på hende, og hun sang..."

Lukas paused when the Dane fell fully asleep, snoring slightly and using Norway's shoulder as a pillow. With a slight smile, he finished the story quietly to himself, before placing the book on the end table. Moving carefully, Norge shifted the other until he was lying along the couch on his side. Brushing some hair out of the sleeping man's face, he moved to carefully get up.

As he slipped out of Den's arms, however, he whimpered quietly in his sleep, no longer being able sense Norway near him. With another, softer smile, he bent down, speaking softly. "Honestly, you're hopeless." The Norwegian pressed a gentle kiss to the man's forehead, settling the man's restless stirring.

Lukas quietly pulled the folded blanket from the back of the sofa, spreading it out over the Dane before settling himself next to him, taking care not to fall off the front of the couch onto the unforgiving floor

Unfortunately, the movement of the couch woke the still-drowsy nation. "N-Norge? ...What... How'd ya get away from Sweden?"

Lukas rolled his eyes amusedly, placing a kiss to his chin this time. "That was a long time ago, Den. You were dreaming. Go back to sleep." With that, the smaller man tried to turn over, before feeling his stomach drop in a familiar sensation of falling.

"Huh...okay..." Mathias responded, before being startled awake by Norway vanishing over the edge of the sofa cushions. "Lukas!" He quickly looked over the side of the couch. "Are you okay?!"

The nation in question didn't reply, too busy biting back a curse as the back of his head throbbed from hitting the hardwood floor. "Ugh, ow..." He muttered, sitting up slowly, rubbing the pained spot.

Denmark hurriedly crawled off the couch and sat right next to Norway, clearly freaking out. "Norge! Norge! You okay? Are you bleeding? Are you dizzy?"

"Mathias, please calm down. The noise isn't helping any. I'm fine." At the smaller man's curt statement, he quieted, though he continued fidgeting anxiously, his eyes full of worry. Still rubbing the sore spot, Lukas looked up at the Dane next to him with one eye, the other still winced shut. "Don't look at me like that Den, I said I'm alright."

Mathias visibly slumped, sighing tiredly. "Well at least you can't be too hurt if you're gonna bark at me like that." He stood up, offering his hand to Norway to help him up. "Come on, lets get some ice on that."

Accepting the hand, Nor was pulled to his feet before Den led him to the kitchen. He sighed quietly to himself as he followed. Here they'd been having a perfectly nice evening, and he'd gone and ruined it. He stayed silent as Mathias sat him down in a dining chair.

Mathias grabbed some cold vegetables from the fridge, wrapped them in a towel, and pressed it against Norway's head. He tried to act as cheerful as possible, "What a tumble, Norge. You should really be more careful next time!" He placed his free hand on Norway's shoulder and started to give him a little massage to make him feel better.

Muttering only a small 'Yeah' in response, Lukas remained quiet, letting himself relax into the impulsive treatment as the cold got rid of the ache in the back of his head. Pulling the chilled produce away, he turned to face the Dane, giving him a soft smile. "Thanks, Den."

Denmark smiled back, "Yeah, no problem." He put the stuff away and yawned sleepily. "Well, I guess I'm on the couch again. Good night, Norge."

Wait, what? Mathias would never willingly sleep on the couch. And the almost uncaring way he'd bid the smaller man good night... Had Norway done this?! Snapping out of his thoughts, Lukas moved to grab one of the larger hands in both of his own, halting the taller man. "Wait, Den I..." Mathias turned to look at him, expression confused. "I'm sorry... for snapping at you before..."

Denmark was more than a little surprised, for the earlier incident had been practically nothing compared to all the insults and mistreatment he'd received from Norway in the past. "You really must have bumped your head hard." He joked before leaning in to kiss Lukas on the forehead. "Don't worry about it."

Huffing slightly at the jibe, Lukas nonetheless looked back up at the Dane a little uncertainly. While it was true that one-sided abuse was commonplace in their beyond logical relationship, Mathias had seemed genuinely put out by his usual attitude this time around. He relented a moment later though, relaxing one of his hands from its grip. He trusted the man to tell him when something was truly bothering him. "Alright. Let's get to bed then, shall we?"

"Ja, let's" Denmark said with a hint of forced excitement; he was too tired to be his usual, boisterous self without a little bit of effort. He tightened his grip on Lukas's hand and led him towards the bedroom. Neither man was prepared for bed yet, so Denmark went first into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He figured he'd stay in there a little longer than was actually necessary, as to give Lukas time to change. It wasn't like Lukas wasn't used to having Mathias see his body, but many times the Norwegian man had snapped at him for his so-called 'staring'.

Lukas went to his dresser, pulling out a set of the warm flannels he preferred for winter. Shivering at the chill against his naked skin, he slipped into the pants hurriedly. The Norwegian sighed to himself as he threaded his arms through the sleeves of the matching top, his movements slowing to a stop as his thoughts sped up.

It wasn't the first time his mind had taken this train of thought. He'd put quite a bit of speculation into this particular matter, actually. That, of course, being the matter of his daily treatment of his Danish partner. He never fully understood why he had the impulses to snip at the man, be it verbally or physically. It couldn't be just because he found his behavior annoying; there were plenty of others he found more so, and he didn't have the same reaction to them.

Perhaps it was more to do with his citizens. After all, they'd been under Danish rule for more than four centuries oh so long ago. Maybe a bit of bitterness still lingered in his people's culture over it. He wanted to be nicer to Mathias. He really did, but he had not a single clue how to go about fixing it. Though a small part of him admitted that it wasn't only for the Dane's sake, but his own as well.

Lukas knew that his impassiveness and cold demeanor could grate on people. Even the ever big-hearted and forgiving Tino had protested it a few times. How long before Mathias grew tired of being treated like an abused, inconvenient relative? How much more would he put up with Lukas until he'd had enough? Norge knew that he wouldn't be able to handle the Dane leaving him. He couldn't bear to be separated from him like that again. But what could he do?

Denmark returned to the bedroom with a loud yawn. He caught a glance of Norge changing from behind, but figured it was still safe to enter as long as he didn't make any comments. He went to his own dresser and pulled out a pair of heavy sweatpants. Even on the coldest of nights, Mathias had never liked sleeping in a shirt. He snuggled in to his side of the bed and waited patiently for Lukas to join him, still avoiding eye contact in the hopes of not being yelled at.

Lukas sighed again as he resumed dressing. Perhaps he was over-thinking things, and Den was simply too tired to be his usual excitable self. He hoped to whatever gods could hear him that that was the case. Slipping his night shirt the rest of the way on, he heard footfalls as familiar as his own pad their way across the room. As he made his way to the bathroom to complete his own bedtime rituals, Lukas couldn't help but cast an appreciative glance over the muscled frame of his lover as he changed.

Lukas brushed his teeth quickly, not wanting to give his mind time to run away with him again. Now he just wanted to sleep. Cutting off his bedside lamp as he got under the covers, he fairly quickly curled himself around the more angular frame next to him, his body relaxing instantly as Mathias' warmth and scent surrounded him.

Mathias was once again in for a shock as Lukas entered the bed and curled up next to his chest without even the smallest bit of begging. They usually did end up sleeping like this, close and comfortable in each others arms, but on most nights Denmark had to coax Norway into the intimacy. Something had to be wrong with him. An apology, no insults, and then free cuddling? That just wasn't like him! "Hey Norge..." Mathias started, pulling away just enough so that he could look into the other man's face, "is something the matter? You seem..." he trailed off, not wanting to make the mistake of saying that Lukas seemed nicer than usual.

Though it didn't show in his impassive expression, Nor was startled by his observation, thinking quickly to figure out what had tipped him off. It didn't take long, and his eyes widened just a tiny bit. His own thoughts had been distracting him since the kitchen. Not only that, but his concerns had driven him to instinctively seek the comfort of Mathias' arms, without any of his usual stoicism.

Cursing himself mentally, Nor tried almost frantically to think of a way around his slips. He didn't know whether he could talk to Mathias about this one. He didn't think he'd be able to bear voicing his concerns, only to find them true all along. But what? He could hear the concern in the Danish man's voice; he knew he wouldn't be so easily dissuaded from the subject. Finally giving a small sigh, Lukas decided to give a cautious answer. If Mathias really wanted to know, then he would tell him. "Nothing's the matter, per se. I've just had something on my mind lately..."

Lukas' answer frightened Mathias. Something on his mind? That didn't sound like good news. Was Norway thinking about kicking Denmark out of the house? Was he seeing someone else behind his back? Was he fatally ill? Mathias thought of just about a million possibilities. "Well..." Without even thinking, the Dane took a hold of Lukas' hand and intertwined their fingers, bracing himself for the bad news. "What's on your mind?"

Lukas shifted slightly in order to look at the other man better, now distinctly uncomfortable and not even remotely sure how to begin. "Well... it's something I've worried about off and on for a while, but I don't really know how to... Oh, how should I put this?" Nor took a deep breath, his grip on Den's fingers tightening as he tried to steady himself.

"I can't stand that, now matter how hard I try, I can't seem to alter the way I interact with other people. At best, I'm disinterested, and at worst, I'm outright cold even to those I care about the most. I've driven even Tino to his breaking point a few times before. And I'm even worse to you..." Lukas looked back up, locking eyes with the man beside him, for once a pained expression clear and evident on his face.

"I hit you. Throw things at you. Call you horrible names and insults every single day. I don't know how you can stand to be around me, and I'm terrified that someday you'll decide that you've had enough and leave. I love you Mathias, so much so that it hurts me physically to think that you might ever leave me behind..." Lukas trailed off, emotionally drained and trembling with nerves, waiting anxiously for a reply.

Mathias knew that the current conversation was a serious one, yet still he couldn't help but sigh with relief. A smile spread across his face and his entire body relaxed. "Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna say you wanted to break up." He laughed a little at his own idiocy. "Norge," He looked over Lukas' face once more, relishing how easy it was to spot the emotion that racked Lukas' lean frame. "I wouldn't leave. Never. Not even if you wanted me to. Don't you know that? Don't you know that I love you too much to ever walk away?" He undid their hands and reached up with his now free hand to caress Lukas's face. "Come on Norge, stop shaking. Please? It's okay." Mathias leaned in and pressed their foreheads together in the most comforting way he could, "I'm right here."

Lukas all but slumped against Mathias at his words, relief, happiness, and what felt like a dozen other emotions washing over his exhausted frame in waves. Leaning into both the hand and the face against his own, he sniffled a little, squeezing his burning eyes shut. He couldn't even care how ridiculous he probably looked at that moment, far too spent to even try to maintain his mask. Wrapping his arms around Mathias' neck, he pulled himself to the other man, trying to be as physically close as possible, the Dane's name escaping him in what was almost a choked sob.

Denmark leaned in closer and kissed Norway. It wasn't a sexual kiss by any means; there was no lust or tongue. It was the type of kiss that just said 'I love you' and nothing more. When they broke apart at the lips, Denmark pulled Norway into a tight hug, petting the back of his head soothingly, and after a long, comfortable moment of silence he whispered, "Come on, let's get some sleep."

Not trusting his voice, Nor merely nodded, giving Den another fervent kiss before shifting back into a comfortable position against him. Reassured by his answer, Lukas nonetheless made a silent promise to the both of them. He would keep trying to amend his hurtful tendencies. Even if it was only a little.

Lukas sighed at the comforting fingers running through his hair, unconsciously snuggling into Mathias' warmth. Worn out, he could only utter one more thing as he drifted off.

"Jeg elsker dig så meget, Mathias. Evigt."