A Man Amongst Men

The night was crisp and cool. The stars hung low, shining their brilliance for all the denizens of Konoha to see. Strangely it was a bit a quite day, followed by an unusually silent night. If one were to ask a random passerby, they might even say that it was eerie.

Off in the distance a man stoop atop a mountain, dressed like a traveling Shinto priest, complete with a four-foot walking pole at the head of which was an iron ring with several smaller rings, all made of brass. The priest began an incantation, one that should he have finished, would have warded the village from whatever hellish affect was awaiting this ninja village.

However, the priest was unable to finish.

Just as the priest began the third verse of his rites, a young redheaded girl bounded and landed directly on the man's shoulders, causing him to let out an odd squawk. Said redhead was of short stature and had wide hips with a large bust. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and her face was filled with mirth as she continued her forward charge, ignoring as the priest was sent over the edge of the cliff-face, where he plummeted.

Immediately following the redhead was a young blonde girl, easily thirteen years of age. She looked more than a bit miffed as she charged at the buxom redhead. The poor blonde was spindly and had yet to grow into herself. If one were to be a current resident of the village below, they might have though the blonde to be the Yamanaka heir, Ino.

However, that person would be wrong as Ino was currently asleep in her bed.

"Kuso! Get back here so I can pummel the life out of you," called out the blonde, breaking the silence of the village.

The young redhead continued on her way, ignoring the plight and cries of the blonde behind her. "You're a hundred years too early to beat me, kiddo," she called back, over her shoulder. Without turning to face forward, the redhead smashed into and through an ANBU agent who had just ventured to seek out the disturbance.

"OOF!" was the twin cry from the ninja and the redhead. Both fell to the ground, landing in a piled heap of legs and arms.

The blonde, sporting a rather unhealthy smirk at the demise of the redhead, withdrew a dozen kunai and launched them at the downed older girl. "Eat this!" she declared, watching the blades as they sailed true.

The redhead, eyes swirling, was unable to extricate herself, much less evade the oncoming attack. Just as the daggers were about to meet the girl, a wooden sign intercepted the attack..

This wooden sign was unlike any other sign in the world. It took the brunt of the attacks and never gave a single splinter. What made this wooden slab even more spectacular was that it was currently being held.

By a PANDA?!

The panda, in all of its amazing height and glory, narrowed its eyes at the blonde and spun the sign around. Revealing words on the other side. [Naruto, you shouldn't be throwing things,] the sign read. The panda spun it to the other side, revealing that the kunai were gone now, replaced with words that were previously not there. [What kind of a martial artist throws knives at people all the time?]

Naruto, with an angry tic forming over her right temple clenched her hand in a fist. Her words were measured and radiated her aggression, "Genma-oji-san! I told you, I'm not gonna be a martial artist! I'm a ninja! A Nin-ja!" he repeated to emphasize his point.

The Panda, not willing to accept "no" as an answer, held up a new sign. [woe is me! I have a delinquent son that refuses to get married and a dumb blonde bimbo that screams at the top of her lungs about being a ninja...]

Said blonde went to withdraw several more kunai from her pouch, only to realize that the trio was now completely surrounded by ninja.

The panda immediately got rid of the sign it was holding – where it went, no one knows – and opted to lay on its back, playing with a tire. "Opo!" the panda declared, enjoying it's toy. More than a few ninja sweatdropped.

The redhead had finally managed to shake the cobwebs and rose to height mighty five-foot height. "Ano na, oyajii..." she threatened, a massive tic over her eye as her fist trembled with barely restrained rage. "Stop pretending to be an animal... No one's going to fall for that!" she challenged, leaping at the bear.

Only to be intercepted by a handful of ninja. "You there, girl!" challenged a particular ninja, this one wearing a long brown trenchcoat a black skirt and see-through fishnet top with her purple hair tied in a messy bun. "Don't you know pandas are an endangered species! We won't stand by and let you assault one in our village!"

A this declaration half the ninja along with the blonde and redhead all facefaulted, hands in Hawaiian surfer poses.

(Later)

Ahhh, the wonderful village of Konoha. It had been a quiet day, followed by a... mostly quiet night. As it was currently, the only sounds heard was that of the crickets chirping.

"WHAT?!"

That was until a loud shriek was heard...

Sitting now, within the Hokage's office, was a strange sight of a motley crew. Completely different than the trio that were seen outside before. Now, standing before the Hokage were three men. The first of which was a heavyset man in his early sixties sporting a dingy white gi, standing barefoot and sporting a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. The eldest was a bald man, whom – until he spoke – seemed to have an air of Master about him. In the middle was a very annoyed twenty-eight year old Japanese man, wearing along black ponytail, a pair of black Chinese tangs and currently a fishnet shirt beneath a Chinese top with wooden peg buttons. All along the top was a sequestered dragon, wrapping the young man's body, its head landing between his pecs.

The third member was a young blonde boy, his hair short and spiky on top, the back of which was pulled up into a top-knot. He was currently dressed in an orange ninja outfit, more adorned to the myths of Japan and China, rather than the reality of the Elemental Nations. The bottom half of the boy's face was covered with a cloth mask as he glared daggers at the older of the three.

The Hokage, a man by the name of Sarutobi Hiruzen gave no signs of his emotion. "As I stated before, young Ranma here," the eldest paused to indicate the twenty-eight year old and continued, "agreed to take you away for a ten year training mission, where upon your return, you could choose which direction you wanted your life to go."

The oldest of the three opened his mouth to protest, only to have his son elbow him in the gut. "Quiet you!" Ranma demanded.

Genma fell into a fetal position, tears flowing like rivers as he cried out. "Woe is me! To devote my life into raising such an ungrateful brat!" Hiruzen stifled a chuckle at the man's antics. The hidden ninja, known as ANBU marveled at how amazing that Genma's genjutsu was! They could actually feel the moisture from his tears, but as the tears would hit the ground, they no longer seemed to exist.

Moving to console Genma, Hiruzen knelt down to his friend's side. "There there, Genma. I'm certain Ranma will agree to his arranged marriage," he said softly.

Ranma, already agitated was now enraged. A battle aura sprung to life around the young man, and he asked with a very careful drawl, "Pops, Granpops... Just what the HELL are you talking about? I know you didn't arrange a marriage for me AGAIN... Did... you.. pops?"

Genma, oblivious to his son's ire continued conversing with Hiruzen. "Bahaha! You old, fool, we should head out for drinks as we plan for Operation Ranma-Anko: Tag Team Duo!"

Hiruzen, getting caught up in the moment, wrapped his arm around Genma's shoulder as the other man did the same in kind. The two laughed loudly as they began exiting the room. Ranma, seeing he was being ignored, shunshined right in front of the two."Mind telling me, WHY I should be marrying some girl from this village?" His voice was light, but held the cold edge of steel.

Genma gulped, already knowing where this was going. Without a second thought, he splashed himself with cold water and turned into a panda. [You wouldn't hurt an endangered animal would you, Ranma?] asked the wooden sign held up by said endangered animal.

Hiruzen, seeing his friend abandon him to save his own hide, followed suit and tossed a beach ball at the panda. "I'm just a weak old man playing with my pet endangered species panda!" he declared, eyes screwed up so tightly they looked to be closed.

Ranma turned to regard Naruto, "Well kiddo, looks like we're stuck here for awhile. At least til we figure a way out of this mess." Naruto nodded, excited to begin his new life. "Just one question? Where's Gai? I need a sparring partner..." Ranma voiced.

(Elsewhere)

There was a man standing over six foot in height, dressed in an all-green spandex one-piece suit. His eyebrows were thick and furry. And he seemed to have a mini-me beside him. "Lee! I feel a presence that I have sensed in many years! That of my greatest rival and challenge!" he shouted.

The mini-me, named Lee stared up at his sensei, flames burning in his eyes. "Gai-Sensei, your Flames of Youth are burning brighter than ever!" he called out.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The two embraced ina manly show of unrivaled Flames of Youthful Energy. This embraced ripped a hole in the space-time continuum, opening a backdrop of a waterfall with a rainbow, the sun gleaming brightly overhead.

What made this scene most disturbing was the fact it took place in the dead of night, and neither man could cast genjutsu.

(A Week Later)

"Hokage-sama," demanded a young ninja, dressed like a secretary, only sporting a hitae-ite as her belt. "Can you put down the sake and get back to work? The papers have been piling up all week!" she demanded.

Hiruzen, the current Hokage, eyed the woman suspiciously. "No! I don' wanna!" he declared, taking another long drag of sake.

Beside the Hokage was an equally plastered martial artist. "You tell her, Hiru-kun! Don't let some weakling make demands of you! She's a woman and she's not drunk! Let her do the paperwork! Bwahahaha!" Genma chortled, as he poured more sake for Hiruzen to drink.

"Yeah... You do the paperwork. Is it so wrong for two old friends to meet up and enjoy each other's presence?" he demanded of the secretary. Begrudgingly, the woman nodded acceptance and left the room fully intent on doing the paperwork.

As the woman left the office, she nearly ran into Ranma, he large frame and chiseled figure drew a gasp and a blush from her. "Excuse me miss, I'll take those papers." he spoke softly, and extended his hand, expectantly.

The secretary was enamored and hadn't heard anything that the young man had said. Seeing the hand proffered before her, the secretary was at a loss. "Um, I'm sorry. What was that?" she asked.

Ranma repeated himself, and left his hand out for the stack of paperwork. "Every time Dad and old man Hiruzen get together I usually foot the bill and do all the old man's paperwork so they can drink." he explained.

The secretary shook her head and handed Ranma the papers. It was definitely a better alternative to doing the Hokage's job and her own. It was difficult enough as it was.

(The Academy)

Naruto was sitting in the class, his attention rapt as he listened to Iruka explain about the graduation exams. "So, you need to perform at least proficiency in at least one of the three greater ninja skills, Whether Genjutsu – which is the art of illusion, Ninjutsu – the art of chakra manipulation or Taijutsu – the art of physical fighting."

Naruto nodded, and started going over the few skills he had learned after having arrived here. Already, he was a master of the school's taijutsu, even having come up with modifications to them, to improve their tactical use. His adaptability was directly in thanks to Ranma and Genma's training of him in the Musabetsu Kakuto Saotome Ryu (Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling).

"Alright class, let's head outside," he ordered, and watched as everyone filed out. To his consternation and pride, the new boy had quickly learned all that he had taught them, which reflected – in his opinion – favorably on his skills as a teacher. "Today we're testing your skills in taijutsu! First is target practice."

As each student was called forth, Iruka and two additional chuunin teachers watched and graded the kids. No one was any the wiser of the blonde being the Kyuubi-child that had vanished some ten years ago. So saying, there was no attempts at sabotage.

Naruto watched with baited breath as a boy named Sasuke was called just before him. The boy had an air of genius about him, though it was tainted and stagnant, as if no one was challenging the child to go further. The Uchiha fired off a series of kunai and shuriken, landing each and every blade in vital spots on the target.

Naruto, alongside all of the fangirls, clapped and cheered for the boy. "That was awesome, Sasuke-san!" he greeted as the stoic boy approached hands in his pockets as if he had not put any effort into the display.

"Hmph," the boy replied, nodding suspiciously at the blonde. "You'd better impress me, Saotome," he challenged. He'd heard many things about the Saotomes from his family. They seemed to be only family to have earned the respect of the Uchiha, despite them being wandering martial artists and not ninja.

Naruto nodded, a great big smile stretched across his face. After being raised by Genma and Ranma Naruto took his new last name with pride ages ago. It didn't help that he was only three when his name was changed, and they were the only family he knew.

Naruto stepped up to the clearing, accepting the throwing weapons from the proctor. "okay," he said, self-assuredly, the all-too-well-known cocky smirk of a Saotome plastered on his face as he flung the daggers and throwing stars. Each weapon struck true, ripping and embedding into the targets before passing cleanly through. "Alright, I'm the best!" Naruto shouted, praising himself. So caught up in patting his own back, he failed to notice more a few eyes turn to assess him. One pair of which belonged to Sasuke Uchiha.

The proctors nodded and charted a passing mark for Naruto. Next will be genjutsu, we'll meet up in the classroom," Iruka commanded as he strode for the door, intent on starting the next series of exams.

(With Ranma)

Saotome Ranma, a man that had set legends, and created history in so many battles in his youth was now an adult. And getting a bit up there in age, at that. In all honesty Ranma could care less about marrying or raising a family. That dream died around his eighteenth birthday, during his failed wedding attempt.

(Flashback)

Ranma awoke, fully-dressed in a tux. As he looked around, he noted his father and soon-to-be father-in-law each dressed up as well. At the far end of the dojo was a priest, standing firmly, prepared to read the vows. It was at the moment that Akane entered, dressed in a white wedding dress that his breath hitched. This was that one moment in life when you don't fight destiny, when you surrender and move forward from that decision.

However, as Akane stood beside him, and he raised the veil to uncover her face, the dojo was ransacked by a plethora of suitors, fiancees, monsters, princes and new rivals, all seeking to challenge the pair. It didn't help that Ranma watched as his school's grandmaster drank the cask of the only remaining "Cursed Water of Drowned Boy", which would have freed Ranma of his curse.

(End Flashback)

"Yeah," he drawled, a sweatdrop sliding down his head. "I'm never getting married. No way, no how!"

Of course, it was at this moment that Ranma's newest fiance, one Mitarashi Anko appeared, a huge grin threatening to split her face in half. "Ranma-kun,' she called out, and took a death-defying leap to land in the young man's lap. "When is the wedding taking place?"

Ranma closed his eyes and exhaled, doing his best to ignore the woman. However, it didn't last long as the snake-mistress began softly sliding certain parts of her body against certain parts of Ranma's body. To his defense, Ranma never rose to the occasion, earning a disappointed pout.

"Am I ugly, Ranma-kun?" she demanded, seeing as she got no reaction. At Ranma's nervous shake of his head, Anko continued, "am I too aggressive then?" Again Ranma shook his head. His fiance Shampoo was a Chinese Amazon, deadset on attaining him as her husband or facing death herself, there was no way that Anko was even a quarter as aggressive. Besides, she didn't even know what magic was, much less did she try using it on him. "Then, I don't get it! Ten years I've been here waiting and now that you're here, you don't even want to touch me!" she cried out.

Ranma, eyes held tightly shut, spoke softly. "Mitarashi-san," he began, but was cut off. "Anko-chan, to you, stud-muffin," she interjected. Ranma pointedly ignored her. "If I acknowledged you as my fiance do you have any idea what would happen?"

Anko, being innocent to the situation as it was, merely shook her head. Ranma nodded, sagely, though how he knew she was shaking her head in the negative while his eyes were closed was a mystery best left unsolved. "Well, first of all, I'd have to settle in here to spend time with you." he began.

Anko nodded, not yet seeing a problem. Obviously they would have to get to know each other. "Okay, so you don't want to settle down, I get it. You are a wandering martial artist. But you can always go on missions like you used to!" she tried, a grin plastered on her face, refusing to go away even for a moment.

Ranma shook his head, "That's not it. Let me finish first." At Anko's nod, Ranma continued. "I still have twenty-five other fiances my pops got me engaged to, a Chinese Amazon that I managed to screw the pooch on, and half-bird half-human woman named Kiira that wants me to impregnate her so she can have stronger children in her nation after I wiped out her kingdom and killed their god."

Anko took this tale with a large grain of salt. Sure Ranma had always boasted to be the best, but she'd never seen him go beyond the skills of Maito Gai. And there was no way Gai could kill a god, and she'd never even heard of Chinese Amazons in all of her travels. But, yet and still, she gave a polite nod, indicating that Ranma should continue his reasons.

"If I say yes, then all of a sudden you'll have at least two suitors that want to kill me even time they see me. Just to get you to love them. Then to make matters better, random magical princes will appear and kidnap you on a monthly basis, and I'll spend who knows how long trying to get you back. And if that's not good enough, most, if not all, of my former fiances will find this village and I'll be waking up to the Nerima Wrecking Crew: Konoha Version all over again!" he spat, highly annoyed.

"You mean..." Anko began, a strange look in her eye. The hesitation caused Ranma to open his eyes, which proved tobe a bad idea, as the trench coat covered very little with her on his lap like some kind of delighted c-c-c... furry creature. "You mean... you'd come to my rescue if I got kidnapped?" she finally managed to get out, stars in her eyes.

Ranma facefaulted. "You mean out of everything I just said, the only thing you got out of it was that I would come rescue you?" Anko nodded like a lovestruck teen. "Every girl's fantasy is to be saved by her ninja in wire-mesh armor!" Anko chirped. From the door way a few muffled "yes"'s were heard.

Hanging his head low, knowing that he had already lost this argument - as women never seemed to back down from a marital claim, no matter how outlandish the validity was - Ranma resigned himself to fate. "Okay, fine. One month to be engaged. If all hell breaks loose, I'm outta here. Got it?"

Anko shook her head no, "You owe me for ten years of being a spinster, mister! You're not escaping in a mere month's time! You owe me at least five years!" she declared.

Ranma sighed, "What do I have to do to get out of this mess?" he asked no one in particular.

However, the answer came in the form a male ninja bursting through a wall, screaming the only answer Ranma ever got...

"DIE! SAOTOME RANMA!" roared none other than Ibiki Morino, his face scrunched up as he came to a rest, sliding along the floor, his long, black trench coat billowing with the remnants of the man's abrupt arrival.

Ranma sweatdropped. "Let me guess, he knows you, and secretly is in love with you, and now that I'm here he's going to kill me to gain your heart?" Ranma tried. Anko shrugged, unsure of the answer herself.

Ibiki glared hateful daggers at Ranma. If looks could kill, Ranma would be dead a thousand times over. "If you want to know. Anko-san has been my student, and then my partner over the last ten years. She's the only woman in all of Konoha that understands the pleasures of torturing ninja til they talk. But you! You want to take my one true chance at happiness! Isn't it bad enough you abandoned her for ten years?"

Ranma shrugged, and rose to his full height. "That's one, Anko-san," he chided, ticking off on his fingers the number of slights against himself on her behalf.

Without preamble Ibiki bit his thumb and flashed through handsigns. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" he called out, summoning a torture room. This one was made especially for Anko. It had snakes hanging along the walls, slithering everywhere, all their beady eyes pointing at one Saotome Ranma, whom had been bound and tied to a pillar in the center.

"Umm, Ibiki-san, can this fight wait a little bit?" he pleaded. The sadist didn't seem to be in a listening mood. "Seriously, I'm in the middle of paperwork and if I get blood on them I'm going to be so screwed," Ranma finished, motioning towards a stack of papers off to the side, somehow having managed to remain within the summoned room.

Ibiki grinned cruelly and set the snakes after Ranma. He watched with amusement as the creatures ate the flesh from the wanderer's bones. He cackled like a mad man.

However as joyous as his victory had been, he now found himself back in his ANBU T&I office filling out stacks of papers. Even as he looked up to the three hundred sheets he'd finished, there was still millions more, and the stacks only continued to grow.

(Elsewhere)

Sasuke was glaring daggers at the Saotome in his class. The exams had just finished for the day, and so far, the blonde had proved to do everything... EVERYthing that he himself had done, but with far greater detail, strength and precision. It was like looking at his older brother again. And he hated thoughts of his older brother.

So as Naruto was exiting the Academy, chuckling as he spoke with a handful of the other students, gaining a lot of the popularity that Sasuke did not like, the Uchiha decided to attack. Sailing down from a tree across the way, His body twisted viciously, spinning into a roundhouse kick that by all rights should have severed the blonde's head from his shoulder.

Only the blonde was no longer there. Sasuke didn't even have time to flinch as his senses screamed the incoming attack was from behind. A hard kick sent the Uchiha forward a step, but before he ever set his foot tot he ground to catch his forward momentum, the blonde was before him! 'A Bunshin! Impossible,' was the last though as Naruto sent thirty thunderous kicks into the black haired boy's gut. The last of the kicks sent Sasuke rolling back, limply, half conscious.

It was only as Naruto got a good look at the downed boy that he realized his mistake. "Sasuke-san! I'm sorry I thought you were dad!" he cried out and rushed to the boy's side to help him back up. The Uchiha, letting his pride get the better of him, swept his arm around to push away Naruto's help.

"I see my family's respect of you Saotomes was not unwarranted. But, this is the last you ever best me, Naruto," Sasuke declared as he stalked away. 'I need to awaken my Sharingan! It's the only way to get stronger than him.'

Naruto with a sweatdrop watched his new friend stalk off. Giving a huge grin, Naruto rubbed the back of his head, realizing he now had his very first rival. "Yatta! Sasuke and I are gonna push each other to the limits one day!" he declared, earning a few sidelong glances from those walking the streets around him. More than a few passersby shuffled with their children to the other side of the street as the blonde cackled to himself, insanely.

High up above, as the sun was readying to set, the call of a crow could be heard.

"Aho! Aho! Aho-ka?"

(With Ranma)

Ranma was enjoying himself, Anko had taken him to her favorite odango stand and he was currently treating her. While spending money was not something Saotomes did on a constant basis, this time was worth it. He had pilfered the money from an unconscious Ibiki Morino after locking him into a genjutsu of ever growing paperwork. So saying, he was happily treating Anko to a meal.

Anko was on the other side of the table, purring – quite literally at that – with a very contented smile stretched across her face. "Mmmm, delicious!" she intoned. No matter how many times she had these odango, they always tasted great from here. What them all the more enjoyable was.. "Ranma-kun, this is the best date ever!" she declared loudly.

All heads in the stand turned to address the pair, eyes wide, taking stock of who the idiot that would date the crazy snake lady would be. If the declaration was a surprise then setting eyes on the man - whom as a boy of eighteen had single-handed fought Sarutobi to a stalemate - across from her was was gobsmacking.

Ranma sweated profusely,. "Anko are you trying to get kidnapped or something?" Ranma demanded, as he waved his hands in a placating manner. Sadly for him, at the very same moment, a certain red-eyed jounin happened to just be walking up to her best friend, perfectly timed to have one of Ranma's hands land squarely on her left breast.

Silence...

Absolute silence...

Time seemed to stand still, all eyes on Ranma, Anko and Kurenai. No one dared to move. No one dared to breath. Ranma, unbelieving of the situation did what he did best, that being, an attempt at backpedaling. This only served to worsen the situation, as he was still sitting in a chair, which served to tip him back, making his arms windmill to keep himself from losing balance. This resulted in Kurenai's perception; in that Ranma wound up his arms and slapped her on the rear. HARD.

The blush from Kurenai was highly unexpected. For you see, the jounin loved to be smacked on the rear, and for this handsome man to be willing to do, and in public before all of her comrades spoke of huge gusto and bravado. Kurenai still had yet to know of whom it was she was laying eyes on, only because she was a child at the time and in the academy waiting for her jounin sensei to arrive.

However, the ftes taking as much delight in Ranma's misfortune as possible, decided now would be the best time to send in Cupid with one of his annoying arrows.

Cupid, a small but mirthful demigod, with the appearance of a Christian angel, drew back and fired an arrow at Ranma. It was always more fun to watch the boy try to get the girl, than seeing him trying to flee.

Ranma, still off balance, fell at that exact moment, the arrow missing him by a wide margin and landing squarely in the chest of a young kunoichi that just happened to be rounding a corner, locked in a heated debate with her eternal rival.

(Outside)

Sakura was glaring daggers at Ino. "Sasuke is going to be MY boyfriend! Just wait until team placements! I'm going to be assigned to the same team, and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after!" she declared.

Ino drew back her sleeve and rounded on the pinkette, eyes locking fiercely on one another, and lightning seeming to erupt between the two fangirls.

It was as the two glared that an errant arrow lodged itself deep within the chest of one Haruno Sakura.

The pinkette gasped suddenly. Ino drew back a small step, concern on her face. It wasn't like Sakura to let up, and if her friend was short of breath from a staredown, then obviously something had to be wrong with her. "S-Sakura-chan? Are you alright?" she inquired.

Sakura's hardened gaze melted instantly, and her eyes filled with hearts and admiration as she gazed on Ino's visage. "U-Um.. Ino-chan. I'm so sorry that I've made fun of your looks for all these years! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever set sights on!" she declared rather loudly.

Within Sakura, an inner voice could be heard shouting poetry – albeit bad poetry – about her love for Ino.

Ino took a step back, clearly confused. "Umm, Sakura-chan," the blonde tried, looking a bit nervously at her new-found admirer. "What are you talking about?"

(Up Above)

Naruto was roofhopping, something he reveled. This was all good, but as he was just clearing an open window, a woman, emptying her flowerpot tossed a bit of water out, splashing the blonde boy, turning him into a her. Naruto paused, and glared at the woman through the window. "Hey! Watch what yer doin next time, lady!" he shouted, falling into the male dialect of Japanese.

It was rather odd hearing a young female voice speak like a ruffian, and it drew the woman out of her window to see who might be speaking in such a way. "I-Ino-chan? I'm sorry I didn't see you there," the woman hastily apologized. The last thing the woman needed was Inoichi hearing about his daughter's beauty being marred by a careless customer. She could not afford to pay any extra on the rare flowers she loved to collect.

"Whatever," Naruto drawled. He'd been called Ino several times already upon his many transformations. It still irked him that he was confused with the Yamanaka girl. He didn't personally feel the two looked anything alike.

Suddenly, Naruto spotted Ranma, his – currently "her" - adoptive father, in an odango shop, feeling up a tall, alluring black haired woman, while his fiance looked on mostly amused. "Only pops would find himself in this situation," she thought aloud to herself.

Ignoring the apologies of the crazy woman with the plants,. Naruto launched herself to the ground, landing right in between Ino and Sakura, just as Sakura launched for a full-blown kiss. Naruto found her lips entrapped in by a crushing force applied by the equally soft lips of Sakura. Naruto let out a soft moan.

Ino had to do a double-take. For some strange reason, she could swear that she was out of her body and watching herself getting kissed by Sakura. But, to her knowledge she hadn't used her family style jutsu...

Or had she?

As Sakura released the blonde from the endearing kiss she beheld a sight that her could not, would not wrap itself around. There were two of her beloveds. One that she just kissed, and another standing just to the side.

(With Cupid)

Cupid was currently on the ground laughing his ass off as Ranma was pummeled into the ground by an irate, and rightfully so, Kurenai. She was currently screaming bloody murder, and calling the young man every shade of pervert.

By chance, Cupid spotted his arrow lodged into the chest of a pink-haired girl a distance away, staring, mesmerized, at two of the same girl. Cupid had to do a double take. He hadn't been to this village in awhile, but he couldn't recall seeing many twins here, especially being blondes.

Giving a shrug, the demigod figured this could only get more interesting, and spotting an approaching group of boys, Cupid fired a series of arrows, as expertly as Odysseus. The bolt flew true and struck the chests of Shikamaru, Sasuke and Kiba. "That should level the playing field," thought Cupid as the boys looked at the three girls. It just so happened that Sasuke was glowering at a mental image of Naruto, thus his affixed desire became a bit skewed.

Kiba, once a young horn-dog, was now infatuated with Sakura. His mind would not leave from the girl as he laid eyes upon her. "Sakura-san, marry me!" he shouted as he launched to meet the girl. With a swift motion, he had the pinkette in his arms and dipped her low, as he was currently bringing his head down to place a kiss on her sultry lips.

Shikamaru, though under the influence and enthralled with Ino, had a mind that only allowed him to speak one word. Even as he gazed upon the impossibility of two differently dressed Inos. "Troublesome."

Naruto seeing the girl that had just kissed him getting roughly handled, made to act. The petite blonde brought a fist down on Kiba's head, successfully braining him. "Keep your hands to yourself, Kiba!" she threatened, barely restrained rage causing her body to vibrate.

Ino took this whole situation with class.

She fainted...

End Chapter