One of These Days by rose malmaison
Fandom: NCIS
Pairings: Abby/Tony, Gibbs/Tony
Characters: Tony, Jethro, Abby, Ducky
Genre: Ten years on, angst, core 4, friendship, pre-slash
Rating: FRT
Warning: death of a major character (not one of the four)
Spoilers: Including season 11

Chapter 2

Tony smelled good, of aftershave and, of all things, Gibbs picked up the faint aroma of pinewood. Something happened that had never occurred before – right out of the blue, Gibbs got a boner in response to Tony's presence. Embarassed, and glad that he was wearing loose slacks that hid his burgeoning erection, Gibbs moved out of the way so Tony could pass.

Ignoring Gibbs' brusque greeting, Tony said brightly, "Better be careful or folks might think you don't like having company over." Without waiting for a response, he moved past Gibbs to the kitchen and said, "I picked up this lasagna from that Italian place down on the corner so it should be good. I've got beer in the car if we need more but I figured I'd wait to see if you were well stocked. What was I thinking? You're Gibbs, so you're always prepared, right? So are the others here?"

Gibbs had never been so bowled over by Tony's presence before, and even though he'd been attracted to the man for a long time, he'd kept his feelings to himself. Their working relationship had meant too much to him to risk ruining it by admitting how he felt for Tony. He'd thought about letting Tony know, one of these days, but there had never been a right time. And then so much time had passed and he'd grown old – yes, he was in his late sixties and Gibbs considered that old, even if he was in pretty good shape – and so he'd settled for friendship.

Eventually Gibbs found his voice. "Abby and Ducky are out back. You want a drink? Mixers are over there and there's beer if you don't want to sample Ducky's wine." Gibbs realized that he was treating Tony like a guest and he wondered when that started. He hadn't seen Tony for a while, maybe a month, and although Tony was all smiles, he looked tired, especially around the eyes. Gibbs found himself looking Tony over with a critical eye as if he could see the bruises he knew had to be there, under his casual clothes.

"Something wrong?" asks Tony.

"Just checking," says Gibbs, not elaborating.

But Tony knew what Gibbs was up to. "Oh, Abby told you. Is this the old Gibbs' x-ray vision?" he asked lightly. He touched his ribs self-consciously and then quickly dropped his hand. "It was nothing. I'm fine, really."

Gibbs found himself doing something he hadn't done in a very long time: he glared at Tony and slapped the back of his head.

"Ow!" Tony raised one hand to the back of his head and smoothed down his hair. He looked pissed.

Gibbs growled, "You call falling two stories and almost breaking your back nothing?"

Tony stared at Gibbs' face for a long moment as if fascinated, and then he huffed out a laugh. "I didn't fall, Boss. I jumped after the asshole that thought it was a good escape route. Believe me, I won't be doing anything like that again for a very long time." Then Tony narrowed his eyes at Gibbs, who was still glowering at him, and said in a low voice, "Look, if you don't want me here, I can just turn around and –"

"No."

"No?" Tony repeated, looking crestfallen.

"I mean, you stay." Gibbs jerked his chin towards the patio. They could hear voices. Abby was laughing and it sounded good to his ears. "What's going on between you two?" He almost didn't want to know; he recognized the all-too familiar signs of a marriage in trouble and even if his two favorite people in the world had never actually tied the knot, they were a couple, a couple who'd been together for nine years and had had a child together.

Tony looked uncomfortable. "We agreed to make some changes."

"You separating?" He couldn't say the word divorce.

Shifting from one foot to the other, Tony managed to appear both guilty and defiant. "I asked Abby not to say anything until I got here. I wanted to tell you myself. What exactly has she said?"

"Nothing. I got a feeling."

"Ah. Feelings. They'll get you every time."

Gibbs grunted as if he understood any of it, which he didn't. How could they separate when they had a child in common? Yet he knew Tony well enough to know he would have fought to make it work, and the same went for Abby. Gibbs didn't have any idea what was at the root of their trouble, but something had changed between them. He wished he could say the right words, could fix it, but he was the last person to give advice.

"You should have told me that you were hurt," Gibbs insisted. He sounded angry so he wasn't surprised when Tony stiffened.

There was glint of anger in Tony's eyes. "I hate to tell you this, Gibbs, but I don't have to answer to you. You're not my boss any more."

God, he wished he was, or that he was something more to Tony. It was too late though, too late for a lot of things. "No, I'm not." Gibbs stepped close to Tony. "Just the same, I think I deserve better. You should have told me," he said again.

That time Tony faltered and gave in. "Look, I just…I didn't want you to feel obligated–"

"Obligated?" Now he was really angry. "When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that I give a damn about you, Tony. And I care about Abby and Evan, and if anything were to happen to any of you…"

Right on cue, Ducky appeared in the doorway. He looked from one to the other, his expression bland, but Gibbs wasn't fooled. "I believe that we are ready for the steaks, Jethro. Good to see you up and around, Anthony."

Gibbs grabbed the steaks and marched outside to cool down. He spent the next several minutes at the grill while his guests served up food and talked among themselves. He didn't have to look at them to feel the tension. Once they were all seated and eating, things eased up a bit and they ended up having some laughs.

Gibbs watched Abby and Tony surreptitiously but could see not outward signs of animosity between the two of them. For a couple on the brink of breaking up they were unusually friendly with each other. She laid her hand on his arm, laughing, and he poured her a drink when her glass was empty. Gibbs looked over at Ducky at one point to find that his old friend was watching him, a slightly puzzled expression on his face. Not about to ask what Ducky was thinking, Gibbs complimented him on the wine and that started Ducky relating a story that had them all laughing in no time.

At first it appeared that Tony wasn't too badly injured, from the way he moved. But as they finished their meal and then dessert, Gibbs noticed the way Tony was holding himself stiffly, and at one point he caught him wincing when he shifted position in his seat. Gibbs was about to say something when Tony rose, excused himself, and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later he returned, and soon after that he was joking and smiling over another glass of wine.

In the middle of a conversation about an old investigation, Tony suddenly stood up and said, "Um…not feeling too good. I'm gonna…" He made a motion towards the house and turned halfway and then collapsed on the patio.

"Tony! Tony!" cried Abby, who was immediately out of her seat and cradling Tony's head in her lap. Ducky was right on the spot, checking Tony out. Yes, he was out cold, his pulse was rapid, and no, he didn't appear to have hit his head. Gibbs was pulling out his phone to call an ambulance when Tony's eyelids fluttered and he awakened with a groan. They quarreled about whether or not to call 911 and in the end conceded that if they could get Tony to the couch inside without incident, they might not need to make that call.

Gibbs supported most of Tony's weight and lowered him to the couch in the living room. Tony looked pale and sweaty and Abby emptied a small trashcan of paper and placed it within reach.

Tony said, "I'm 'kay. Okay."

"You don't look it," Gibbs retorted, seriously worried. Ducky agreed with him and said so.

"I took some pain meds, okay?" said Tony, slurring his words slightly.

Ducky frowned. "Ah, so washing them down with a 2020 Cabernet Sauvignon is what your doctor ordered, is it?"

Tony covered his face with his forearm and said weakly, "Can you jus' leave me 'lone? Please?"

Abby leaned over Tony and brushed his hair back. She said something in a low tone to him and he nodded, his breath hitching a little.

Abby took Ducky's arm and they went out to the kitchen. Gibbs wasn't leaving until he got to the bottom of whatever was going on so he pulled up a chair.

After a while, Tony lowered his arm and looked around. "They gone?"

"Kitchen. What's going on with you, Tony?" Gibbs asked, trying to be patient.

Tony shrugged and looked away. There was the sound of dishes being washed and after a bit the back door opened and closed. Gibbs waited in silence.

Eventually Tony heaved a sigh and turned his head to meet Gibbs' eyes. "It…it was Tim. He'd been having problems with his wife and they somehow managed to turn it around and they were going off on this weekend I helped arrange for them and…" He swallowed hard and said, "All these years I've put things off, kept thinking I'll do it tomorrow, or it can wait. You know how that goes?"

"Yeah. No point in having regrets. Deal with whatever the problem is, Tony." He was one to talk but it looked like Tony was seeking advice so that's what he was getting. Tony's color had improved and his speech wasn't so slurred so when Ducky poked his head in, Gibbs indicated Tony was okay and Ducky retreated again.

"Abby and me, we're separating," Tony admitted.

Even though Gibbs wasn't surprised, the announcement still struck him hard. He knew all about the emotional roller coaster of divorce, the guilt warring with relief, the sense of failure that never quite went away, the difficulty in picking up the pieces. And Tony and Abby, they had a child, one that was old enough to understand what was going on, yet too young to understand fully.

Gibbs was torn between wanting to say something supportive and the desire to get Abby in here so he could knock some sense into the pair of them. He said, angrily, "What about Evan?"

Tony looked at him with despair in his eyes. "He knows, Gibbs. He's a smart kid. This has been coming for a while."

"You've been living apart," Gibbs said, making it a statement.

Tony nodded. "For months now, since before Tim. I kept my condo because it's close to work. The people who'd been renting it moved out at the beginning of the year and I would sleep there a couple of nights a week and then I stayed over another night and another and…"

"This isn't about housing, Tony."

Tony struggled to sit up and Gibbs didn't help him. Tony was panting a bit but he didn't look like he was going to pass out again. "You think I don't know what this is about? You think this isn't tearing my heart out? You know what Evan asked me? He asked me why people had to go away and I thought he meant Tim. That's how stupid I am. He thinks it's his fault…Oh shit." Tony held his head in his hands. "I'm worse than him."

"Than who?"

Tony raised his head and said, his voice rough, "Worse than my father. I swore…I fucking swore."

Gibbs got in Tony's face. "Then deal with the problem, fix whatever's wrong. Talk to Abby, work it out!"

Tony let out a huff of a laugh. "You don't understand."

"Then make me understand." Gibbs moved so he was sitting right next to Tony on the couch. "Talk to me, Tony."

Tony elbowed Gibbs but not very hard. "No, you don't…you don't get it, Jethro."

"Tell me! What's so important to you that it's worth hurting your own son?"

"You don't..."

Gibbs badgered, "Tell me, explain this to me."

Tony turned on him, shouting, "There's someone else, okay? Okay?" Then in a defeated tone, he said, "I've been in love with someone else for years. Abby knows about it and–"

"You selfish bastard," Gibbs said, rising to his feet.

Tony rose at the same time though he swayed a little. "Yeah, you're right, Gibbs. I should never had said anything."

How could Tony do this? Cheating on Abby, on his own child, on all of them? Gibbs' heart hurt at the thought that Tony had been living a lie all these years, that maybe after all, he didn't know him.

Abby hurried into the room, worriedly looking from one man to the other. "That is so not fair, Gibbs! You cannot say that to him. Tony has stuck with me for nine years, nine years when he should have been with someone else."

"Abby, don't," warned Tony tiredly. "Please don't."

Tears were streaming down Abby's face but she didn't seem to notice. "He never asked, Gibbs. He never asked for anything. He took care of me when I needed him. He was there. And I knew the whole time, but I didn't want to let him go, so who's the selfish one?" She turned to Tony and said fiercely, "We talked about this, Tony, and you agreed to tell him." To Gibbs she said, pleading, "Listen, Gibbs, with your heart. Do this for me. For Tony, too, because he really needs you now."

"Abs…" How could he say no to her?

She looked at Gibbs intently until she was sure, and then kissed him on the cheek. "Ducky and I are leaving now. If you need a ride, Tony, call me." Tony shook his head and she kissed him, too, with a finality that scared Gibbs.

Ducky joined them and handed Abby her bag. He eyed each of them, taking in the scene, but instead of a lecture or even some wise words – which Gibbs could have done with right about then – Ducky simply thanked Gibbs for the meal. They shook hands, something they rarely did, but it was comforting so Gibbs was glad of it.

Ducky said, "Please remember that Anthony has been through the ringer, so no physical confrontation – from either of you. I will visit you in the morning, Tony, and we can discuss a suitable pain relief regimen. If you need me before then, telephone me. Don't bother with that twixting thing because I do not do that. Good evening, Jethro, Tony."

Left alone, Gibbs and Tony sat on the couch, Tony slowly lowering himself. It was obvious he was feeling some pain from his fall. Gibbs stubbornly refused to offer Tony a heating pad, thinking that Tony deserved some pain and then immediately regretting thinking such a thing.

They sat there for a while, at opposite ends of the couch, with the room growing darker as the daylight waned. Gibbs leaned over and switched on a lamp on the end table and when he turned back to Tony, he found that Tony had moved closer to him.

Tony said, slowly and evenly, as if the matter held a great weight, "I kept thinking, one of these days…one of these days, I'll tell him. But I never did. I thought it was for the best, keeping my mouth shut, but now I can't…I can't not say something, even if it ruins our friendship. I keep wanting to say I'm sorry, Jethro, but I'm not. I'm not at all because knowing you, working with you, simply being with you, has been the best thing in my life. My son, he's the best thing, too, but a different best thing, like the way Abby is the best thing, too…Does any of this make any sense to you?"

Gibbs considered himself a pretty perceptive man, and he was observant and a good judge of character, but hearing Tony's confession – if he understood what it was that he was, and wasn't saying – took him by utter surprise. Looking into Tony's eyes, seeing the fear of rejection, the turmoil, and the love that emanated from them, released something in Gibbs. It was one of those moments in your life when you realize how stupid you've been, how much time you've wasted and how this, this unspoken and never-acknowledged thing they had between them was something precious. Something that absolutely should not be wasted. "Yeah."

Tony raised his eyebrows, expecting more.

Gibbs cleared his throat and got out, "I get the feeling we're both idiots."

Surprisingly, Tony smiled and that smile grew wide and he actually laughed, holding his side as if it pained him. "Is that your way of telling me that you…?"

Being better with action than words, Gibbs moved closer and after a moment of hesitation, he took Tony in his arms. He didn't try to kiss him, just held him until he felt the tension ease from Tony's body. "I don't understand this, or how the hell we got to this point, but I damned well know that I feel the same way, Tony." He could feel Tony's hot breath on his neck, the roughness of his jaw scraping against him, and he felt Tony tremble in his arms. "Tony," Gibbs whispered. "What are we going to do? I can't…I can't."

Tony leaned back, still in the circle of Gibbs' arms. "Abby, she has this idea that we can make this work. All of us."

"She does, huh?"

Tony nodded seriously. "Abby says there's this tribe in the Amazon that shares partners of both sexes, in case anything happens to one of them out on the hunt; there's always someone there to step in."

More than a little appalled at what he thought Tony was suggesting, Gibbs stared at Tony. He could feel his cheeks getting hot and his dick was reacting to Tony's proximity.

Tony snorted. "Oh, I can see what you're thinking, but that's not what I mean. See, Abby thinks we can be an extended family, and me being with you doesn't mean I don't still love her, or stop me from being Evan's dad. It just means we're there for each other."

Gibbs thought about that for a minute and slowly nodded. "I love you like nobody's business and I guess that now it's out in the open, there's no way to go but forward."

"You think we can make it work then?"

Gibbs smiled a little nervously, wondering what the hell he was committing himself to. "It looks like we'll have to."

"Yeah." Tony's smile was back. "Yeah. Nobody's business, huh?"

"You gonna make a big thing of this?" Gibbs growled. Tony grinned and Gibbs knew he was in for it. "You wanna go sailing sometime?" he suggested. "Maybe bring Abby and Evan?"

"I think that's a good place to begin," Tony replied, hope alight in his eyes. "Only, Jethro?"

"Mmm?"

"You think I could maybe kiss you now? Because I've been waiting so long for this, and I knew it would never happen but I still thought about you – a lot – especially recently."

"Yeah, I think maybe we can do that." Gibbs slowly drew Tony closer, and they angled their heads a little, mouths meeting for the first time. Tony's lips were soft and a bit dry and tasted of Ducky's expensive wine, and like that wine, kissing Tony was rather heady. Their kiss deepened and Tony let out a small sound of relief and parted his lips, and somewhere in the back of his mind, as he was swept away by Tony's enduring love, Gibbs realized that this…this was one of those days.

end