A Jump to the Left 7

"I'll drive," Faith volunteered as they left the basement.

"Drive?" Xander asked. "You've got a car?"

"I asked the Boss if there was a way I could take Driver's Ed," she explained as Xander closed the cellar door, "and he said I was the type who learned best by actually doing something."

"I'm the same way," Xander offered.

"So he gave me a car," Faith finished as they rounded the corner of the house.

"Faith..." Xander's voice trailed off for a moment, "that's a checkered cab."

"The Boss said they retired them in the 80's, but he liked the classic 50's model they used in New York, so he bought a couple and restored them just for fun," Faith explained as they climbed in.

"He must have put a lot of work into it," Xander said, "cause it looks spotless." He felt around on the seat and the vinyl was perfect, with no cracks or tears.

"No seat-belts," Faith warned as she started it up.

"So, did any lessons come with the car?" he asked hopefully.

"Just keys and a license," Faith replied with a grin as she revved the engine.

"I'm going to trust that you're a good driver," Xander said, surprising her, "after all, the car doesn't have a single dent in it."

Faith laughed. "Yeah, I was just screwing with ya, I'm actually a pretty careful driver. Ain't no way I'm fuckin' up a gift like this."

Xander laughed and fiddled with his gauntlet. "Let's head for the park."

One minute twelve seconds later...

*SCREECH!*

"We're here," Faith said turning to Xander who had a white knuckled grip on the door and was looking very pale.

"Are you OK?" she asked concerned.

"You went up on two wheels through the alley," Xander said slowly.

"It's a narrow alley, I ain't about to risk scratching the paint," Faith replied seriously.

"And the 360 spin into the parking space?" he asked calming down.

"Easiest way to parallel park," she replied with a shrug.

"Slayer reflexes," Xander said with a nod as everything fell into place. "You pull off stunts that professional drivers wouldn't dare because it's easy for you."

"Not seeing your point," Faith admitted.

"OK, you noticed how everyone else drove?" he asked.

"Like they were sleeping," Faith agreed with a nod.

"That's normal driving," he explained. "They can't react as fast as you can or gauge everything going on around them as well."

"So what's that mean?" Faith asked.

"Means you're an awesome driver," Xander told her.

Faith beamed.

"You'll terrify surrounding traffic though, because they suck in comparison," Xander admitted. "You're doing wheelies through crowds of preschoolers on tricycles."

"Oh," Faith said, suddenly understanding.

"Fun driving probably requires a track set up for stunts with ramps and obstacles, normal driving is just getting from A to B without crashing or getting pulled over," Xander said as he tapped a few buttons on his gauntlet.

"The movies always made it look exciting, with car chases, shoot outs and such," the dark haired slayer said with a sigh.

"And sex and stunts," Xander agreed. "OK, pinging them from here and home puts their position at... Sunnydale high," he finished with a groan.

"B and the gang grabbed them?" Faith asked barely restraining a growl.

"Looks like," Xander agreed. "I'm guessing they thought they were me and a demon pretending to be Willow, as that is about the closest thing to the truth they've run into."

"We going in guns blazing?" Faith asked intently.

Xander shook his head. "Nah, since they aren't demons or anything, I'm pretty sure I can talk the gang into letting them go."

"If you're sure," Faith said slowly, obviously not so sure herself.

"I'm only eighty percent sure," Xander admitted. "Depending on what both sides have said or done, I should be able to walk out of there with them, with the Scoobs being none the wiser."

"And if you can't?" she asked.

"Then having you covering me with a crossbow from the back of the room would be a big help," he said seriously.

"Sounds like a plan," Faith said with a relieved grin.

"Thankfully they're a lot more reasonable than Snyder," Xander said, "And I've talked my way around him before."

"A rabid pit-bull is more reasonable than Snyder," Faith replied.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Alexander spat something in rapid fire German as he comforted his Willow.

"Chaos magic is notorious for turning on its casters," Giles said shaking his head.

"That would explain why he thinks he's a German guy from the war," Buffy said, "but not the second Willow."

"I concur," Wesley agreed. "Permanently becoming someone else isn't unknown, but creating a second person?"

"It's called chaos for a reason," Giles replied. "Creating a dimensional rift, as a side effect of invoking Janus to empower a costume, is easily within Janus' purview as keeper of portals as well as chaos."

"So how do we return him to normal and send her home?" Willow asked, sticking to Oz's side and worried about what he thought as Xander and the alternate Willow inside the book cage held each other and glared at their captors.

"Sure she's not just a doppelganger or something?" Buffy asked, causing some muttered curses from the cage.

"Hardly," Xander said, catching what Buffy said as he entered the library.

"Xander?!" came the near universal chorus.

"Yep, now do you mind releasing my cousin Alex and his girlfriend?" Xander deadpanned.

"But he looks just like you," Buffy complained, "and she looks like Willow!"

"There are reasons for that," Xander said, "not that you need to know them, as your last name isn't Harris."

"I beg to differ," Wesley said, stepping forward, a large tome under his arm. "As guardians of the Hellmouth it is our solemn duty to investigate any and all unusual events."

"A bit wordy but he's got a point," Buffy said, "besides your twin tried to stab Harmony."

"You tried to stab Harmony?" Xander asked the pair in the book cage.

"She looks like the leader of the Neo Nazi group back home," Willow said in German accented English.

"OK, that makes sense," Xander said. "I know I've been tempted to stab her myself."

"OK, that covers the stabbing," Buffy admitted, "but the resemblance?"

Xander sighed. "Fine, but this goes no further. My Mom has a twin sister who lives in Germany, her husband is sterile and I'm not saying anything more about that."

"And her?" Willow asked pointing at her twin.

"Kinda my fault," Xander admitted. "My mom only started talking to her sister again a couple of months ago and I exchanged stories and photos with Alex. Yes, we both share the same first name, from our grandfather. Anyway, he saw a girl who looked like a picture I had sent him and introduced himself and they hit it off."

"My grandfather was orphaned by the war, I thought a similar name and appearance meant we could be related," the Willow in the book cage said slowly. "And it was a chance to spend more time with my Alexander," she admitted with a blush.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'll take my broth- cousin and his girlfriend home," Xander said. "Mom doesn't want them outside after dark."

Angel came out of the stacks and looked around at the tense scene. "What did I miss?" he asked.

"Long lost relatives and attempted stabbing of Harmony," Buffy explained.

"OK," Angel said.

"Not going to question someone trying to stab Harmony?" Wesley asked.

"No, I've met her," Angel replied.

"This seems to be a simple misunderstanding," Giles admitted.

"I would like to cast a simple detection spell to verify they are merely human," Wesley said opening the book he was holding.

"Run it by Giles first," Xander said. "It's not that I don't trust you, but... OK, it's that I don't trust you."

"I suppose that's understandable," Wesley admitted and passed the book over to Giles, Willow moving in to look over his shoulder.

"I would call this more than a simple detection spell, but that is all it does," Giles said after studying the page for a minute.

"It looks pretty easy to cast," Willow said.

"Go ahead and cast it," Xander said, "but then, let my people go!"

Willow winced at the cheesy Moses quote while Wesley retrieved his book from Giles and began chanting. As he finished with a dramatic hand gesture everyone present gained a glowing aura, including Angel who yelped, and grabbed his ass before falling over.

"Sorry!" Faith called out from somewhere in the back.

"Angel!" Buffy exclaimed, rushing over to help her fellow paramour.

Xander frowned slightly at Wesley, who'd simply glanced at the two in the book cage before examining Xander's aura closely. "So are my cousins fine?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes, they're perfectly normal," Wesley said distractedly. "Your aura-"

"Why'd you shoot Angel?!" Buffy demanded, stake in hand as she faced the back of the library as Willow rushed to help Angel.

"I said sorry," Faith called out. "The light show surprised me."

"Why are you here?" Buffy demanded.

"Covering my boy to make sure you guys ain't pullin' a fast one," Faith replied stepping out of the shadows with a loaded crossbow in her hands, not quite pointing it at the blonde slayer.

"What?!" Willow explained. "We'd never-"

"Break into my home and attack me?" Xander interrupted. "Follow me around the town whenever I go out? Kidnap my family so you can cast an aura revealing spell on me?"

"This is going to hurt," Oz warned Angel as he got a good grip on the shaft of the crossbow bolt.

"Do it," Angel ordered, gritting his teeth and hissing as Oz yanked the bolt out, Angel's game face coming out for a moment before he regained control of himself.

"We didn't kidnap them for that purpose," Wesley quickly assured him, "though I admit to taking advantage of the situation to examine your aura."

"Only spying on you has been deliberate," Giles added, "the rest has just been a series of unfortunate events."

"Coincidences happen especially around you," Buffy said, keeping an eye on Faith while checking on Angel, who seemed more embarrassed than injured.

"I... can't really argue with you there," Xander admitted, as he thought about what his father had said about a family curse. "So, can you release my family now?"

Giles quickly grabbed the keys off the counter and went to free the pair. "Of course."

"Can I ask about your aura?" Wesley questioned.

"Sure," Xander replied, "and when do we all stop glowing?"

"Another five minutes or so," Giles assured as he opened the book cage, stepping aside for the nervous couple to exit it.

"Can you explain the traces of the Slayer spirit in your aura?" Wesley asked.

"You are what you eat?" Faith suggested, causing Buffy to make a face while Willow glared at Faith.

"I gave Buffy CPR and Kendra died in my arms," Xander replied, "or Faith's idea."

"Probably the first two, reinforced by the third," Wesley said thoughtfully, much to everyone's surprise. "Are you aware of any supernatural traits that follow your bloodline?"

"I got a family curse," Xander admitted, "but no one knows the details. That it?"

"Yes, thank you for your time," Wesley said politely.

After a few seconds of tense silence, Willow turned to her German speaking counterpart. "So... we might be related?"

"After the way you have treated my love and I, I no longer have any desire to find out," she replied. "Will someone return my Alex's possessions?"

Buffy quickly took a knife off the table and returned it back to Alex, hilt first, which he accepted and returned it to the sheath on his belt. "Sorry again," she offered.

"You have traces of Mr. Harris' curse on your aura," Wesley noted with some surprise as he looked at Buffy.

"I never went down on him!" Buffy exclaimed.

"There are other ways to imprint on someone's aura," Giles assured her.

"Like CPR," Xander guessed as he thought about it. "My family curse is probably the reason you didn't stay dead like every other slayer throughout history."

"What kind of curse does that?" Willow questioned.

"Mine," Xander replied as the spell expired and the aura's faded away. "Let's go."

"You shouldn't be working for the Mayor!" Willow blurted out before Xander could leave.

"I'm not," Xander replied, waving for the other two to leave.

"What?"

"I don't work for the Mayor, just like I didn't work for the Watcher's Council," Xander replied. "I help my friends, that's all I do."

"What he's doing is evil," Buffy declared.

"As evil as drugging a young woman and tossing her in a room with a vampire to see what happens?" Xander asked. "How about as evil as taking a child from its parents and training it to be nothing more than a weapon?"

"That's over simplifying things," Giles quickly said.

"No, it's really not," Xander disagreed. "And for all the talk about how important the Slayer is and how her duty is to save the world, the Council really doesn't do all that much for the Slayer so much as against her."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked.

"The Watcher's Council is centuries old, has agents all over the world, and probably has more money and power than quite a few countries. Now take a look at how they help the Slayer, or rather how they don't. For all their claims about the importance of the Slayer, Kendra barely had any clothes, and had to sneak aboard a plane clinging to the landing gear to get here, Faith had to support herself to keep from being homeless, and the only financial support Buffy gets is Giles buying her donuts and supplying her weapons. Pimps do more for their hoes than the Watcher's Council does for the Slayers, so I'm left wondering... what is their real purpose? What do they do with all the money and power, since we know it does not go to supporting Slayers."

Wesley sputtered, but couldn't come up with an answer while Giles didn't say anything but polished his glasses, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Meet you at the car," Faith said with a grin, before vanishing into the stacks.

"Xander wait," Angel said before Xander could leave.

"Yeah?" He paused, curious as to what Angel would say.

"What are you going to do when helping Faith means doing something you know is wrong?" Angel asked.

Xander shook his head. "There is always another way to get something done. Time and time again I've seen you guys throw up your hands saying impossible when it was anything but."

"And if you can't find another way, what then?" Angel asked. "Just because there is another way doesn't mean you'll find it in time."

"In the unlikely event I can't find another way... then I hope I'll have the courage to do the wrong thing," Xander said solemnly.

"What? Don't you mean the right thing?" Angel asked.

"It's easy to do the right thing," Xander disagreed. "Doing the wrong thing to help a friend is much harder. I'm leaving now, I'd appreciate you not attacking my family again."

"It was an honest mistake," Buffy called out exasperated as the door closed behind him.

Xander found Faith already in the car with the engine running and his and Willow's analogues in the back seat, all three looking relieved to see him.

"Almost thought I'd have to go back for ya," Faith said as she turned the radio on, however since the car was from the 50's all she had was AM, so she settled on a classical station.

As the sounds of the William Tell Overture started Xander grabbed the door tightly and closed his eyes.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The Anyas sat on the front steps in front of the beach house and played cards in the light of the setting sun. They'd parked a rented U-haul van with all their possession in the empty parking lot alongside the house.

There had been a small hotel on the spot where the Cranston place now stood, but a powerful, localized quake had hit in the middle of the night, a decade past, and when the sun arose all that was left was the parking lot, swimming pool, and hot tubs. A local developer had quickly thrown a beautiful three story beach house up, hoping to lure in a rich actor or actress who wanted to get away from the LA scene without going too far, but even the lure of a private beach and dock hadn't done much good once they'd spent a single night there.

"I think the market for cranberries is going to go up," one of the Anyas noted, as she laid down her cards and collected her winnings.

"Depends on weather conditions," the other said. "One good frost and the harvest is ruined for the year."

Blood started dripping from the gutter in front of the house, little crimson drips splattering loudly on the sidewalk.

"Yes, but it freezes well, so if we buy them when there is a bumper crop, we can sell during poor harvest year," she noted.

"Depending on storage costs of course," the other agreed as she dealt out another hand.

Blue flames began to flicker in the upstairs windows and the local bird population fled the area.

"Gold has been reasonably stable," she offered.

"Part of that is the amount used in all the new technology they're developing." She discarded two cards.

The front door creaked and a fetid breeze blew from the interior of the house before reversing and sucking in air from outside as if the house were breathing.

"Yes, but the important thing is it looks to be sustainable," she said as she discarded a single card.

There was the screech of tires as if someone had just gone from eighty to zero in three seconds in the parking lot.

"We're out front!" Anya called out, before dealing out the cards.

"I fold," the other Anya decided, dropping her cards with a frown a moment later.

"I only had one pair," Anya admitted as Xander and Faith rounded the corner.

"I'm not saying you're a bad driver, I'm just pointing out that your driving somehow convinced my analogue to convert to Judaism," Xander said.

"Miss Rosenberg seemed happy to hear that," Faith replied with a shrug.

"Leave now!" the house growled, blood splashing over the eaves and raining down on the four as they stood there.

"What the fuck?!" Faith yelled.

"We told you, it needs some cleaning done," Anya said, wiping blood off her face.

"We've got everything we need to lay ghosts to rest and banish an incorporeal demon," the other Anya said cheerfully. "Which should we do first?"

Typing by: Abyssal Angel