Chapter 5

Nothing burns like the cold

"So what are you doing for Christmas Bells?" John said, hitting the settee with a thump, flinging his legs up onto Belle's lap, leaning his head against the bolster cushion.

"Christmas?" She asked, putting her arms over his legs, so she could still hold her book open.

"Yeah, you know that 2 week holiday we get in a few weeks" he explained sarcastically, elongating every word.

Belle sent him a withering look. She liked John, he didn't pry or try to work her out like James or even Albus, he didn't quiz her like Rosie or Fred and he certainly didn't bounce around the way Delia did. He just took her for what she was and accepted what little she offered about herself and if her lack of offering information perplexed him he didn't show it. "I expect I will stay here, can't really go back home" she told him, "what about you?"

"Oh you know; getting fed up by my Mum who constantly worries about Hogwarts not feeding me enough, doing little party tricks for my Dad, going to the pub with my pin head of a brother, the usual." He explained.

"What you talking about" Rosie asked, walking towards them having just entered the common room. She sat down in front of the fire, crossing her legs and flinging her books onto the floor in front of her.

"Christmas, Rosie-posy" John answered her, "Belle is staying here" he added.

"Oh you can't do that." Rosie exclaimed.

Belle looked at her, "of course I can. I already put my name down. I can have a proper look around the library, talk to a few portraits, and do some cross stitch. I could even talk to a few ghosts."

Rosie seemed to look pensive and was silent for a few minutes, "You should come home with me" she finally declared.

"Don't be silly, Rosie" Belle said slightly scathingly however unintentionally she meant to sound that way.

Rosie just looked at her, "I'm not being." She replied seriously as she straightened her back, "none of us are going to be here".

Belle took a breath. The thing was she was touched, really touched that Rosie asked her. It was nice, more than nice and if she was honest it meant more than anything that she had asked her. But Christmas at someone's house? It felt like too much.

Her friendship with them was great and she liked having a group to spend time with but she would be the first to admit that there was something superficial about it all. Most of her relationship with them all never went beyond the surface. There was only ever a little statement here, the odd conversation here that went deeper. She liked them she did, she loved being here but there was always this feeling that she would say something or do something that would introduce a question or give something away. She knew that they knew that she wasn't saying everything that she kept something back, the way they looked at her when she knew something about something strange, when she didn't understand the simplest of things and someone had to explain, when her and Malfoy shot looks at each other in lesson. She knew that they watched her out of the corner of their eyes, James especially. She knew all that but she still liked having them, the fact they still spent time with her knowing all of that was lovely but Christmas? That seemed like too much, nowhere to hide in a situation like that, "I don't think so Rosie, I'll enjoy it here I think" she finally said.

Rosie just starred at her, "well think about it anyway."

*#*

"She's fit." Belle said, coming up behind James at the bar.

James glanced around to smirk at her, "Jealous are we?"

It was one of the last trips to Hogsmead before the Christmas holidays and most of the pupils were beginning the day in the only place to start it, the pub.

Belle moved to be standing next to him, leaning against the bar, "Oh yes, my heart burns for you" she replied jokingly before ordering for herself, Albus, Rosie and James.

Leaning on his elbow he faced her, "I knew it." James declared.

Belle just rolled her eyes at him.

"Who is she?" She asked conversationally as they waited for their drinks, indicating towards the leggy blonde James was drinking with.

"Saskia Swaything, Ravenclaw" he replied, checking out his date, "legs like an Amazon". Soon they both had drinks in front of them, "well I should return to my date, see you later, Miss Belle"

Belle couldn't help but call out after him "Enjoy Gargareans."

~#~#~

If there was one part of Hogwarts life that Belle enjoyed over all others was the fact that she was free to wonder as she wanted. Of course there were rules and all that but she could go outside as she wanted. There was no planning a run or walk, no guards; it was in Belle's estimation the best thing in world, the complete feeling of having freedom. So it was wonderful to be running through a freezing cold Scottish December, feeling the snow under her trainers, the cold air hitting her skin also stinging it. Her eyes felt both too dry and too watery at the same time. Her lips felt dryer and dryer and numb in the cold but yet they still tingled.

Usually she didn't think while running, a complete blank mind. Focusing only on where her feet landed and the feel of the elements against her skin, it wasn't a time for actual thoughts; it was her time away from all the thousands of thoughts that usually ran through her mind. However on this run her mind wasn't blank instead it was focused solely on Christmas.

Since she had first asked Belle to spend Christmas with her family, Rosie had continually reminded Belle and as much as she hated to admit it Rosie was slowly wearing her down, with only 4 days to go before the end of term. Belle was trying very hard to resist her, as in the long run she knew it would be better not to go.

She rounded around the front of the building, slowing only as she jumped up the stairs before catching her breath in the hallway, feeling her skin tingle as the warm indoor heat assaulted her cold skin.

"That can't have been pleasant" James's voice coming down the stairs into the hallway.

Belle looked up as he walked towards her, "you'd be surprised" she replied, arching her back gently to stretch it out.

"I'm going to take your word for it" he smiled.

Belle began taking a few steps towards James and up the stairs. When she had taken the first few steps towards a hot shower and clean clothes James's voice caused her to halt.

"You should come you know."

Belle turned around on the step, "What?" a frown slowly appeared on her forehead as she looked down at him. James ran his hand through his hair.

"Christmas" he said eventually, "you should take Rosie up on her offer. She would love to have you there and Uncle Ron and Aunty Hermione would as well." He paused, "Plus you will get to spend the actual day with yours truly" he smirked, "and Al obviously," he tagged on the end.

Belle took a deep breath and looked down at him, he was smiling but something else coloured his eyes when he looked at her, the same look James often had when he looked at her, Belle had always put it down to curiosity but this time what it actually was, was painfully obviously, it was concern.

She thought about the millions of different excuses that she could use, all the different things she could say to get him to say "okay, maybe next time" but of all the different responses going through her mind the one that she found finding air as it escaped through her mouth was the one closest to the truth, "James, I haven't celebrated Christmas in a very long time, I'm not…" she faltered ever so slightly, "sure I remember how to."

James didn't say anything; instead he made his way up the stairs to the one underneath her. Silently he gently touched her hand, Belle for a second thought he was going to hold it and readied herself to pull away, but James never did, he just ran his fingers over the back of her hand, "Then we'll teach you" he said slowly, the words falling from his mouth. Somewhere in her mind she was conscious that her lower lip was between her teeth, she forced her eyes to meet his. The concern was still there but his eyes looked questioningly at her before a single, barely there nod caused his lips to break out into a grin.