a/n: three piece collection that centers around baby Ben and Tony DiNozzo ! [in no particular order]

January, 2001

February had just dawned, and already Tony DiNozzo had sworn off weirdness.

He was confident he'd had enough disconcerting absurdity to last him the year—it was bad enough that the new female team member he'd been so excited for had ended up being Gibbs' fiancée, it was worse that the part-time agent Gibbs had hired was some nerdy whiz-kid from MIT, and the whole dynamic of Gibbs-and-Shepard was slowly driving Very Special Agent Anthony insane as he tried to figure out what exactly was going on there—so: he was swearing off weirdness.

He was determined in his decision, and eager to begin participating only in normalness, which was why he thought he might actually burst into tears when he walked into the bullpen bright and early–and slightly late, to keep things normal—and saw a baby sleeping on Gibbs' desk.

He stopped dead in his tracks, and stared.

If Gibbs' desk had been as god awfully cluttered as his own was, he might have persuaded himself to overlook the innocent, lumpy bundle, and pretend it was just a gym shirt or something, but since Gibbs' desk was practically empty except for cell phone and perpetually dead computer, it was impossible to ignore a sleeping human child on top of it.

DiNozzo squinted slightly, and then blinked slowly—he wasn't dreaming; there was definitely a baby there.

It was surrounded by a blue blanket, so he assumed it—he—was a boy baby, and it—he—was asleep on his stomach with his very small thumb near his very small open mouth.

He continued to stare, and then a shuffling noise caught his attention and he whipped to his left, narrowing his eyes immediately and glaring—he'd been so distracted by the infant sleeping on Gibbs' desk that he'd failed to notice Shepard was at her desk—and apparently completely oblivious to her surroundings. He glared at her bent red head aggressively for a silent moment, willing her to look up from her case reports, and when she didn't, he cleared his throat loudly and pointedly.

"Shepard," he hissed.

She paused, and looked up, cocking an eyebrow—she was always here early, for some reason; NCIS agents started work at seven, but Shepard was always in at five—and she always left two hours early, and on Fridays she only worked half a day—which was why, DiNozzo assumed, Gibbs had hired that geeky kid.

The erratic nature of Shepard's work schedule was one of the things that had been wigging DiNozzo out since the new year started—that, and of course the fact that she was having a legitimate, real-life relationship with Gibbs and even though there was a ring on her finger, she never mentioned a wedding or a single, minute detail about her or their personal life—and DiNozzo was dying to know the dirty details.

She looked at him mildly for a moment and then started to look back down. He stomped his foot and thrust his hand out, snapping quietly.

"Shepard," he hissed again. "There's a baby on Gibbs' desk," he informed her.

She followed his hand, and lifted her eyebrows lightly, expressing no discernible amount of shock or confusion—which frustrated DiNozzo immensely. It had become his mission in life to somehow faze Shepard; she was the most obnoxious newbie team member to have around because she was so infuriatingly … good.

"I think it might be human," Shepard said neutrally, cocking her head.

DiNozzo glared at her.

"You didn't happen to see who put it there?"

"It?" Shepard quoted, turning her probing eyes on him. She narrowed them slightly.

"Him," corrected DiNozzo. "Women," he muttered under his breath, and then went on quickly before Shepard could catch that: "You didn't notice a random baby sleeping on Gibbs' desk?"

She blinked slowly, and glanced back over—of course she had noticed; she had put him there, after all. She made it her business to know exactly where her son was at all times. However—she had found that her favorite past time since returning to the home office was eroding the mental stability of Tony DiNozzo, and she was so ruthless in her mind games with him that even Gibbs growled at her to back off.

"I was otherwise occupied," Shepard remarked primly.

DiNozzo blinked.

"Otherwise," he started, and then cut himself off. The baby moved, and DiNozzo nearly had a heart attack, leaping forward, and then freezing. "What if he rolls off the desk?" he hissed in a panic.

She glanced over, eyeing the baby critically—there was minimal risk of that; he rarely rolled over when he was awake, much less in his sleep; he was still getting the hang of it. She tilted her head, and glanced back at DiNozzo, and gave a tiny shrug.

"Who the hell does he belong to?" DiNozzo hissed.

"Maybe he's Gibbs'," Jenny remarked logically.

DiNozzo sneered.

"He doesn't have kids," he scoffed. He snorted. "Don't you think you'd notice if he had a kid?" he demanded, nodding at her ring finger.

She wiggled it slightly, and smirked.

"I think I'd notice," she agreed calmly.

She glanced at her sleeping baby again—she'd brought him with her to work this morning because he had a pediatrician's appointment at eight, and it was easier than coming in, leaving him with Gibbs, going home, switching—et cetera. It was also Gibbs' turn to take him for vaccinations—Jenny hated holding him while he screamed and cried.

He hadn't been formally introduced to anyone yet—not even Abby—and she was enjoying watching DiNozzo have a heart attack.

It wasn't that they were keeping Benjamin a secret, it just—hadn't come up. Gibbs was pathologically private about his home life, and Jenny saw no need to act against that.

DiNozzo took a few steps closer, looking around warily.

"Where is the Boss?"

"MTAC."

"What if it—he—wakes up?" DiNozzo whispered loudly, peering down at the baby from a safe distance. He looked exasperated, and groaned softly. "Where did he come from?"

"The stork, DiNozzo," Jenny retorted, deadpan.

He turned is head and glared at her in annoyance. She blinked calmly, and then pointed her pen primly at Gibbs' desk.

"You better tell him," she advised.

"You tell him!" squawked DiNozzo. "You're the one who sat here and just missed someone dropping a baby on his desk!"

She blinked in small amusement—was DiNozzo really this thickly convinced he knew everything about Gibbs' life? She resisted the urge to burst into laughter and kept her face neutral.

DiNozzo glared at her, faltered, and then downgraded to an uncertain stare, and then the baby squirmed a little and moved his feet. Jenny immediately recognized his quiet, sniffling waking up sounds and leaned back slightly to keep an eye on him and watch DiNozzo flounder. DiNozzo turned pale and gave the moving baby an alarmed look.

"It moved!"

"It might turn into a werewolf next," Shepard remarked blithely.

He glared at her.

"I hate you," he groused balefully, and then dropped his backpack to the ground—she watched as he tip-toed dramatically to the Boss's desk and looked down reluctantly—and then to her surprise, he picked Benjamin up.

She trusted DiNozzo not to injure a child, but the action was unexpected, so she started forward, her face changing sharply—he didn't notice; he held Benjamin firmly, staring right into his sleepy little face.

"Ha," snorted DiNozzo uneasily. "He kind of looks like—"

"Me?"

DiNozzo let out a terrified yelp and jolted forward—though to his credit, he didn't drop the baby, or squeeze him too hard. Pale, he winced and shot a betrayed glare at Jenny—she could have warned him El Jefe was standing right behind him—

"DiNozzo," growled Gibbs menacingly, "why've you got my son?"

Jenny leaned casually back in her chair and watched. Benjamin kicked his feet unhappily, waking up a little more and realizing a stranger was holding him.

"Your—" DiNozzo spluttered. "He's—your," he broke off again, looking at the baby, then Gibbs, then Jenny—then Gibbs again. "What?" he asked helplessly.

Gibbs finished his coffee, chucked it in the wastebasket, and took Benjamin from DiNozzo before the baby started crying, giving DiNozzo a nice head-slap for good measure. He settled the baby against his chest comfortably and took his keys from his desk, giving Jenny an annoyed look. She smiled sweetly, and leaned forward, taking Benjamin's embroidered, monogrammed bag from beneath her desk. Gibbs swiped it from her on his way past and narrowed his eyes.

"You could've just told 'im he was yours," he growled at her.

She wrinkled her nose primly.

"What's the fun in that?" she asked, turning her eyes back to DiNozzo and basking in his baffled, outraged expression.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, smirked, and glanced at his watch.

"Drop 'im off with Noemi after the shots?" he grunted.

She nodded, and he tilted his head.

"Coffee?" he asked.

She shook her head, and Gibbs headed out to take Benjamin for his shots—leaving DiNozzo gaping like a startled fish in the middle of the bullpen. He rounded on Jenny, giving her the meanest glare he could muster, and she cocked her head at him blithely.

"You shouldn't have picked him up," she advised sagely. "Jethro is very protective."

"You forget to mention he was your baby?" DiNozzo demanded sarcastically.

She beamed smugly.

"His name is Benjamin," she said, relenting. "He's eight months old."

DiNozzo still glared, but after a moment, he straightened up, and looked back over at Gibbs' desk—the blue blanket was still laying there, all wrinkled and soft. He cocked his head.

"Huh," he said, his expression thoughtful. He cracked a small grin, and turned a charming, sparkly eye on her. "You don't look like you've had a baby," he drawled.

She pointed a sharp nail at him wryly.

"I wouldn't let Jethro hear you say that," she remarked, and then bit her lip, smiling proudly. "He's cute, isn't he? We call him Ben."

In spite of himself, DiNozzo grinned—he kind of liked the idea of a miniature copy of Gibbs—and, considering the circumstance, Tony was never going to forget the first time he met Ben.

January, 2001

"Ben & Tony" you know, kind of like "Ben & Jerry's" ? :)

-alexandra
story #184