Just A Friend

[Chapter 2]

"Hey, Rin." I called out to my blond-haired best friend. She turned to me, her aquamarine eyes lit up out of curiosity. I looked down, playing with my fingers a bit. "What would you do, if I, um, have to go away… or something?"

"Nothing." Rin faced upwards towards the blue sky. She threw the coin she was playing with earlier and I caught it. A bit of me was kind of pissed. "Hey, nothing? If you left, I'd-"

"You won't leave," Rin turned to me, her lips curled into a cheeky, teasing smile, "Because you and me, we're two sides of the same coin-two halves of the same whole. If any of us were to leave the other, I know both of us'd do anything we can to prevent it. And you know us, together we're unstoppable."

"Two sides… of the same coin?" I repeated Rin's words. Rin grinned and took both of my hands, guiding them to where, from our point of view, the coin sparkled. "Yeah, two sides of the same coin. I'm Enothing without you, you're nothing without me, we complete each other. We're incomplete without one another. Whatever harm will come our way, if anything threatens us being together, I'll crush them to pieces!"

"So that means… We'll stay together forever?" I unsurely looked at Rin, expecting some kind of promise. She answered my look by continuing to smile, eventually letting go of my hand and nodded. I threw the coin. It was up so high, neither me or Rin could tell where it'd end up.

"Yes, definitely!"

I blinked. Why was I remembering that now? It's a bit embarrassing, really, I mean, I'm a boy and yet she was the one making promises. Well, Rin is abnormal. Your usual sarcastic, sport-loving, actually-cute girl. And I, a quiet, weak, peace-loving boy.

With that in my mind, I walked closer to Rin's window. I was about to knock, but noticed a certain teal-haired girl beside Rin. I didn't know Rin had company.

"So you do have a book where you keep all your secrets, hmm~?" I could hear Miku's high-pitched, squeaky voice. I peeked to see Miku smiling annoyingly and Rin with a face that definitely said she wanted to rip Miku open take out her insides.

"That's called a diary, NOT a journal!" Rin defended herself, her face tinted with a bit of pink and her lips curled into a pout. Really, she was so cute. Miku uninterestedly looked at her nails. "Same thing."

I found myself a bit interested in the conversation they were having. I mean, Rin and I, we were so close but she never did say anything too personal. She never had to talk about her family-I was sometimes there to witness it. Rin's friends were my friends-with the exception of Miku, so she never had anything to tell me about her friends. When I told her I have a crush on a girl named Lenka, all she did was smile teasingly and teased me about it.

If Rin were to have a diary, I'd want to see. I wanna know her secrets. But isn't that a bit cliche and mean? Rin wouldn't want me peeking at her heart. Still, knowing her, it's probably all about soccer and her ranting. That didn't stop me from wanting to know, though.

"You know, Leek..." Rin smiled secretively, "If you really want to know… I might bring the book to school tomorrow and if you get ahold of it, I might let you read it… Don't you want to know what's inside of it…?"

Miku smiled back, accepting Rin's challenge. The two just sat there smiling challengingly at each other. Wow. Girls are scary. Still, to be opening their eyes that long, doesn't it hurt? I shook my head. Based on my past experience where Rin countlessly beat me on our staring contests, Miku didn't stand a chance.

TA-DUUM!

"Oh shoot!" Miku said suddenly, taking her phone. What the heck was that noise? Was that her ringtone? That was one hell of a weird ringtone. "Sorry, Rin! Mom and dad said I'll have to go home now! Mikuo's coming! Jaa~!"

Who was Mikuo again…? I think Rin mentioned him at some point. Miku's brother? No… Cousin was it? Yes, cousin. Seeing Miku leaving in a hurry, whoever Mikuo was, he was definitely important.

Finally. Rin was alone. She turned on her TV. Watching soccer as usual, I see. I was about to knock when a muscular hand tapped my shoulders. I jolted in shock to see my big brother, Rinto, grinning at me as if he just won lottery. "If's just you, I see."

"Stalking your girlfriend, I see." Rinto teasingly said, the annoying grin not disappearing from his face. How-and why did he follow me here? I scratched the back of my neck. "Rin's not my girlfriend."

"But future girlfriend?" Rinto smirked, lifting one of his eyebrows. I shook my head.

"We're just friends. Besides, I have a crush on someone."

"I know, that Lenka girl who came to visit us last summer, right?"

"How did you-?"

"Just a guess." Rinto shook his head, "Why her, though? She's pretty, sure, but so is your childhood best friend. Actually, the two of them are pretty similar when it comes to looks-if anything, Rin's cuter. Their personality, though… True, I guess Lenka's a bit more like you-quiet, nerdy, bookworm-ish, but they said opposites attract, right?"

"I like who I like." I snapped, hoping my clever, observant big brother didn't notice. "You're not me, and unlike you, I was never one to judge based on looks. Like you said, Rin's my… childhood best friend. I can't just like her out of nowhere, that'd be awkward. Also, Rin and Lenka are more alike than you think."

I mumbled the last part quietly.

"Well, little brother," Rinto closed his eyes uninterestedly and ruffled my hair, "Come back after you're done stalking. Today's dinner is hamburg steak."

Before I had the chance to reply, Rinto was gone. I sighed. I was going to knock on Rin's window, but she was already fast asleep on her bed. Her lips were entangled in a cute pout as she twitched and changed sleeping positions. Was she having a nightmare, I wonder…?

Well, any longer, and I'd be a stalker for real.

"Goodnight, Rinny-kins." I whispered.

"Len, I'mma take a shower, so you just wait outside." Rin said awkwardly, holding the top of hee pajamas. She was wearing a panda-filled, child-like pajama. What a kid. Still… If Rin were to take a shower, she'd have to be naked… Right?! I felt my face heating up. Fuck, this is no good. I quietly went outside.

I could hear Rin's footsteps heading towards her bathroom. Damn, this is not helping. I tried to shrug off every image of Rin naked. The last time I saw Rin naked, was at kindergarten. I wonder if she's grown since then. She has to, right! But still… She didn't seem to grow.. But they say clothing can hide a lot...

LEN WHAT ARE YOU THINKING STO-

"Good morning, Len-kun."

"AHHHH!"

"My, my, were you thinking perverted things about Rin?" Lily suddenly appeared. For Rin's mother, that really wasn't anything for her to say. Lily was a stunning beauty. If Rin told me she was her sister, I'd believe her. "L-Lily-san! It's nothing like that, really!"

"Please wait until she's eighteen to do that, Len-kun, but if it's possible, please have a baby after marriage." Lily bowed her head, as if asking permission. For me to marry her daughter. And then have babies with her. The hell.

"Wha-! Lily-san, stop joking!" I could feel my face growing even redder. Lily returned to her former position and grinned teasingly. Seriously, for Rin to have a mother like that… I wonder if anything happened to her.

"Ah, I found this earlier, and I don't know what to do with it, but you can have it." Lily handed me a slip of photo. I took it, didn't notice the devilish smile on her face. The photo was facing down, so I couldn't look at it. "I'll prepare your breakfasts now. Later, Len-kun!"

"Y-Yes, Lily-san!" I bowed. Lily really had this sophisticated, maiden aura around her that just makes you want to bow and surrender everything to her. Scary. When I heard Lily's footsteps steadily growing smaller and smaller and eventually disappearing, I could feel my shoulders relaxing.

I looked at the slip of photo I had. Before I managed to turn it around, I could hear my phone ringing. I tried to take it from my pocket but then-

"EWW WHAT IS THIS STICKY LIQUID?!"

A sticky, glue-like-but not as sticky as glue, white liquid was all over my phone. What even- When did this- I blinked, hazily remembering the events the night before. We had dinner, and then Rinto took my phone, saying he needs it to 'exercise'

I shook my head. No, no, it can't be. Doing that on your younger sibling's phone…? That's just too fucked up! I finally managed to take out my phone and suspiciously cleaned it using a tissue that showed up out of nowhere for the author's convenience. My hands shaking, I checked my browser's history-

-and nearly fainted.

INNOCENCE! GIVE ME BACK MY INNOCENCE!

No, no scratch that. After seeing that, I feel like I lost my-

VIRGINITY! GIVE ME BACK MY VIRGINITY!

What the heck is it with Rinto?! That's a weird fetish he has! No, no, never mind that.

"WHAT KIND OF GUY M*ST*RB*T*S ON HIS LITTLE BROTHER'S PHONE, DITCH IT WITHOUT CLEARING THE HISTORY, WITH THE PHONE STILL COVERED IN HIS-?!" I gulped, trying to regain my composure. Remembering what I was gonna say, I wanted to hide under the covers of my bed forever. Ahh, this is no good. Rin must've heard me for sure.

Okay, whatever… Just… Check the text whoever sent me.

From: GREEN IS THE ENEMY LOLOLOLOL

Subject: -

Body: Guys, Rin's bringing her diary TO SCHOOL! If you wanna know her secrets, help me take it.

One, who the fuck is Green is The Enemy? Hm, remembering the song she sang at 4th grade, Rin probably came along at some point and changed Miku's name. Two, oh yeah, I should take a look at her diary while I have the chance to. It's probably nothing serious, anyway. Rin's not the type to write about her feelings and stuff.

I sighed. Anyway, I could finally take a look at that picture Lily gave me.

AHH! IT'S RIN NAKED! THANK GOD FOR MR. STEAM! Wait, is that her-AHHHH! COVER YOUR EYES, LEN! RIN'LL KILL YOU! Ahh… So clothing really does cover some-NO, LEN DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT LOOK!

I tried to hide my flushing face. Honestly, there's something wrong with Lily! So apparently mothers give out pictures of their naked daughter to boys. Or wait… Does Lily not take me for a boy! Wh-Whatever! This picture of Rin… Can not, absolutely not get out. I'll have to return this to Lily as soon as I can.

At least they aren't like Rinto's 'materials'.

I wonder if I'll grow up to be like Rinto.

...

Hilarious. Was I joking on my own mind?!

I shook my head and stuffed the photo to my pocket. I'll return it to Lily after I take a look at Rin's… journal.

I quietly opened the door, careful enough not to do so so obnoxiously loud that it'd alert Rin. I could still hear the shower running. How much time has passed, again? Did Rin really take a shower that long, or was it just me thinking time passed by quickly? I shook my head and searched the room for a suspicious-looking book.

An expensive-looking, red book. I didn't think Rin owned anything like that. I opened it.

Soccer and Rin's rants.

Soccer and Rin's rants.

Soccer and Rin's rants.

See, I was right! Oh man, this won't do. This is just too boring, really.

I blinked.

I do have a picture of her naked… But I definitely can't let anyone see it! No, no, no one is allowed to see my precious Rinny naked! But if I monitor her the whole day, then… It should be okay, right?

I took out the picture. Fuck, I put it on the wrong pocket, it's all covered in-

Wait, wait, but then, no matter how you see it, this is just perfect, isn't it? It'll be okay, if I monitor Rin the whole day. It'll definitely be okay.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Gakupo, and then Kaito?! You have the worst luck, Rin!" I mumbled to myself as I put some potato chips to my mouth. I was at the rooftop, making sure no one actually manages to get their hands on Rin's journal. I could see Rin's face annoyed as hell. I wonder if I've gone a bit too far with my prank.

I… I'll make sure to apologize to Rin later.

Just as I was about to grab another potato chip, I could feel another hand searching for potato chips. Wow, I know the amount of time I don't have a girlfriend equals my age, but to imagine things that happen in shoujo manga happening to me in real life… What a joke.

*touch touch*

Ehh?

*pinch pinch*

Fuck, this is real. And this hand is very rough.

*slap*

"OIOIOI, AFTER YOU REALIZED IT'S REAL, WHY STILL SLAP IT?!" An annoying, masculine voice complained. I pouted and turned my head to see the mad face of Rinto. "Because I know it's you, stalker."

"Talking as if you're not stalking your friend-slash-childhood-friend-slash-future-girlfriend-slash-friends-with-benefits-slash-already-dating-in-secret-maybe-slash-master-slash-puncher-slash-"

"Stick to friend, please. You said so many things I lost you in the middle of it." I sighed. "I'm not stalking her, I'm making sure no one manages to take her soccer journal! Thanks to a photo Lily gave me and your-err… liquid… I managed to stick a naked Rin inside the journal. If anyone takes her book and sees it, she's screwed!"

"Stick to friend? Just friends? Say that to your future self, not me." Rinto grinned. "Oh, that's right, did I forget to clean your phone before putting it back inside your pocket? Well, mistakes happen, life's hard, move on. Also, so that means you saw her naked, right? Bad Len. Talking as if she's that important to you, but allowing your virgin, dirty eyes to see her pure body. And if you don't want anyone seeing her naked, why do the prank in the first place?"

"I'll never ask Rin out. That's something I know for sure." I looked down, but quickly looked up again, remembering how observant Rinto was. "Besides, knowing Rin, she'll never say yes. She loves oranges a lot more than she likes me. Ignoring the fact that you left all that on my pocket, I see. I swear if you reach out and rub around, you'll still find hints of sticky unknown things there. I didn't see her naked, I turned around as soon as I noticed she was naked."

That's right. I did not see Rin naked. My face is also red simply because of the weather.

"When you put it that way, it's like if there's a chance Rin'd say yes, you'd ask her out."

"..."

"Just kidding." Rinto laughed.

Fuck my brother and his humor.

"You didn't answer my question, though, little brother." Rinto smiled curiously-or rather, maliciously.

"Why did you even do the prank in the first place?"

"That-I…" I sighed.

"I just wanted to see her reckless side… You know? Her feminine, vulnerable side." I averted my eyes. "…Not that I managed to see any of that. She's still the same as ever. Ahh, how did I even think I'd get to see her like that. I wonder if she'd keep acting as if she has a penis till the day she kicks the bucket."

"See, you're acting more and more as if you're in love with her."

"I'M NOT!"

"Oh yeah, I'll have friends over tonight. Don't come home if you don't want to see your precious onii-sama drunk."

"Who's a precious onii-sama…" I shook my head. "What do you even do when you're dru-"

No, no, remembering what he does when he's not drunk-*hint hint* my phone *wink*-I really don't want to know.

"Well, I'm off to do my club activity. See ya."

"Club? You joined one?"

"Trust me, you do not want to know."

Rinto grinned at me as he started exiting the rooftop. Remembering his last words, I shuddered. Rinto really was like some sort of maharaja or something. He really was good-looking, good at sports, manly-using Rin's words, a real guy. I'm sure Rin'd like someone like him.

Thinking about Rin again… This is really bad.

The person I like… is Lenka.

I shook my head.

Like wasn't the word.

It was more like… Adoration. Something you feel towards a 2D character. Someone so close-or maybe, exactly your ideal type of significant other. However, also someone you don't feel anything real for.

I blinked.

As if called, the door to the rooftop opened with a soft click.

"I-I'm sorry, didn't know anyone was here!" A sweet, feminine voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned my head to see a pretty girl with long, blond locks tied into a ponytail, her aquamarine eyes staring apologetically at me. I turned my head to it's original state. "Ah, well… You're welcome to join if you'd like… I mean, maybe… I think."

Lenka hesitated before slowly walking towards the spot Rinto was at earlier and then sitting down there. She stared at my bag of chips and so, I handed some over to her and she took them, saying thank you.

"What are you doing here, Len-kun?"

"I… have nothing to do… Sort of."

"Ah, but I heard you're very busy. So for you to do something like this… There must be something important."

"Heard?" I turned to Lenka before grabbing some chips. "I don't know what you heard, but I'm not busy at all. And no, no, there's nothing important, really!"

"Oh…"

"Mnn…"

An awkward silence.

"A-Anyway, how was that project our parents were working together on?" I tried to give a subject, averting my eyes. When Lenka came over last summer, it was because our parents had to work together on a collaboration. Lenka scratched the back of her head. "I-It turned out good! I think!"

"H-How is your club… Len-kun?"

"I don't join any club.…"

Our attempts to break the awkward silence were utterly depressing.

"R-Right…Sorry" Lenka blinked and looked down before looking at me again.

"A-Anyway… You're with the Drama Club, right? How is it?"

"Um, it was cool! Great, I mean! Our last play was Pincchio, and quite a lot actually watched our play!"

"I think you mean Pinocchio…"

"No, it's Peter Pan. I remember now."

"THAT'S TOO FAR!"

"It's the one where the girl wears a glass slipper right?!"

"THAT'S CINDERELLA!"

"A-Ahh…"

"SO PINOCCHIO, PETER PAN, AND CINDERELLA! WHICH IS IT?!"

"N-Neither?"

"Wah, whatever, I don't care anymore." I sighed and averted my eyes.

Another awkward silence.

"N-Ne, Len-kun…"Lenka said, fiddling her fingers. "Do you… have someone you like?"

"Yeah… Yeah, there's someone."

"I-It's Rin-chan, isn't it?"

I turned to Lenka. Why was everyone trying to get to know about me and Rin today?

"N-No… It's not."

"I-Is that… so." Lenka said, scratching her cheeks. I peeked a bit at her face, and damn, she really was cute. Her cheeks tinted with a bit of pink was as though to compliment her already bright eyes. Her blond locks were very long and seemingly soft. I shook my head and closed my eyes,

And then, instead of Lenka,

The one sitting next to me was Rin.

"Hey, Lenka." I whispered softly. I didn't think Lenka actually heard her name called, but she felt like she did, and she immediately tensed up and leaned closer to me, prepared to listen to what I was going to say.

"What'd your answer be, if I were to ask you to go out with me…?"

A brilliant orange.

That was the color of the sky when I walked outside the school gate. A couple of cats passed by me, licking each others' fur. At the same time, a couple accidentally knocked me over. Right when I reached the school's turning point, a dog growled at me and me took my bag of chips, as if mocking me for my efforts.

[I, um… At first, I'd be surprised, of course…]

.

.

.

[But if I had to give an answer, well...]

Getting rejected hurts.

I watched this sort of thing in movies, read about them in comic books, and I've always thought people were a bit overreacting when they portray heartbreak. I still thought they were overreacting. Love is just an excuse for lust. It is merely an electrical bug in the human neural circuit. It's a lie; an excuse for people to do what they want.

At least, that was what I told myself as I shrugged off the stinging feeling in my chest.

My feelings for Lenka were idolization, not-how people would say it- "real"- I guess. It's like when you see someone charming, you feel like you want to enter a relationship with that said person. But really, loving someone, loving the idea of someone, heck-loving the idea of loving someone are all completely different things.

So why do I feel like this…?

"Len."

A sharp, demanding voice.

I stopped.

Ah, that's right. I forgot to wait for Rin today.

"What… Rin?" I asked without turning around. Darn, that came out harsher than I intended to.

"Me? What about you?!" Rin demanded, grabbing my hand. She cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at her. At the sight of her bright, sharp, deep aquamarine eyes, I blinked back tears I didn't notice were there.

I hesitated for a second and averted my eyes. How should I tell her…? For some reason, I couldn't really voice out my rejection, and why was I so bothered. I mean, at the time me myself didn't understand. I averted my eyes. "…Lenka rejected me."

She deserved to know that much.

Rin's eyes widened as she gasped. Was it really that surprising? Her eyes were clouded with emotions I couldn't really quite grasp. She let go of my cheeks. "Breathe in. Breathe out."

"Oh, Len." Rin smiled softly. I flinched. Rather than softly, she looked forced. With multiple expressions jumbled on one another, Rin wrapped her arms softly around me, yet I couldn't bring myself to hug her back. Even though I didn't understand, only one thought was swirling around my head.

Why does Rin so look hurt…?

"Did you really love her?"

I blinked. How was I supposed to answer? I guess, for the moment, I'd have to say,

"Yes. I…I did."

Rin's eyes froze for a second, but she softened them again. Her lips trembled softly, as if about to cry. She shook her head, putting her thoughts aside and shushed me. And then she rubbed my hair multiple times. Her touches were warm and comforting. Unlike Lenka, with Rin, I felt like I could really be me. With Rin, it felt right.

"Maybe she just isn't the one."

"But I… I really thought she was."

Another lie.

Why can't I just be honest and confess how I feel?!

I blinked as a drop of rain fell down and wet my nose. Was it raining? When did it started raining, anyway? I didn't notice, or rather, I didn't care enough to notice. Being a bit more observant to my surroundings, I finally noticed the darkened sky, the puddles appearing, and no one in sight.

"Hey…" Rin whispered.

What did Rin mean to me…?

Ever since we were little, Rin's always been protecting me. She stayed by my side, no matter how many times I idiotically mess up and cause trouble for her. She comforted me when I was down, and challenged everyone who saddened me.

"No matter how many heartbreaks you'll go trough,"

If someone were to ask me,

"I'll always be beside you to cheer you up."

What did Rin mean to me,

"As your friend."

I'd…

I blinked. Rin suddenly froze. Her bangs covered her eyes so that I couldn't see them. She looked so destroyed, so hollow. She was right in front of me, but I felt like she was in a whole other dimension. To the Rin in front of me, all I could say was-

"Thanks, Rin. I really needed that."

"Y-Yeah." Rin suddenly looked alerted, as if she was in a hurry. She forced a smile, as if she was in so much pain. "So, um, gotta go!"

"Why?"

"I just, uh, really need to run, all right!"

"Wha-Rin? Rin?!"

I reached out my hand to try and catch Rin, but she had already run away.

I blinked.

Drip. Drip. Drop.

Ah. So it really was raining. The rain softly wet my nose. Soon, it wasn't just my nose. I cursed at every tear that dared to fall. Crying in the air, huh. I gritted my teeth. One of my most hated clichés. I clutched my heart. Why did it hurt so much more than before...?

"Look at you, little brother."

Noticing Rinto was there, I quickly wiped my eyes and turned my head upwards. Not…That way. Whatever. Trying to sound as uninterested as possible, I said, "Thought you have friends over."

"And I thought you didn't like Rin."

"I don't."

"You're right," Rinto unexpectedly said, and I couldn't help but widen my eyes and turned my head towards him, "It's something much, much more than that."

"You know, at first I thought it was strange 'n all. The fact you like Lenka, I mean." Rinto said. "But now that I think about it, it does make sense. You said Lenka and Rin are a lot more alike than I think. They are alike, and that's why you use Lenka."

"Wha-"

"You pretend Lenka is Rin, so you can keep your hands off Rin."

"…"

"Rin is an existence that means so very much to you-much, much more than your own existence." Rinto put his hands on his pocket. "You'd do anything for her. To see her smile, to keep her happy, even if it was all on her mind. All you want to be, is someone who can be beside her and keep her happy at all times. Not someone important to her. Not someone who can hurt her."

"…"

"But you just had to fall in love with her." Rinto closed his eyes. "Unlike most people, you think ahead. You think what your actions would lead to. You calculate everything, never leaving it to fate. You knew that if you couldn't contain your feelings, it'd hurt Rin. Whether she feels the same way or not, well, you think love isn't real-or rather, you keep telling yourself that."

"You tell yourself love is simply an error, an excuse for lust, a bug; something that wouldn't last forever." Rinto opened his eyes. "Regardless of whether or whether not Rin feels the same way, you think that in the end, she'll get hurt no matter what. You don't want that. You want to keep her by your side, pure forever."

"You confessed to Lenka, and got hurt by her rejecting you, because well, in your mind you really weren't confessing to Lenka, you were confessing to Rin. Lenka probably knew that when you confessed to her."

Rinto was right.

So right I couldn't say anything for myself.

I only wanted to be beside Rin forever, to never grow apart from her. To be able to see her smile and never, ever hurt her. I… didn't understand what the fuck that emotion was, neither did I care.

"Stalking me the whole day? How very protective, Rinto." I only managed to let that out. Rinto smiled as if saying, it can't be helped. He took out a cigarette candy and put it in his mouth. Sighing, he lightly pushed my back. I turned to him. "Well, not that it was business or anything."

"Just chase after her, dumbass."

I stared at the window in front of me. I rubbed the wooden frame of the said window and closed my eyes, recalling how nervous I was the first time I went here.

[Ack! Why did I just follow her! I could've just went to school and meet her there!]

[Len! I knew you'd come!]

[R-Rin! You're still in your pajamas!]

[What?! Does that mean you want to see me without pajamas?!]

[Huh?!]

[Does this mean you want to do it with me? I'm sorry, thank you, but no.]

[J-Just shower already!]

No, this wasn't the time to recall memories. I gently knocked on her window.

"Rinny~!"

After a few seconds, Rin finally opened her curtains. Her eyes widened, seemed as if she didn't expect me here. Although I was slightly trembling, I tried to smile. Rin opened her window and I jumped in.

"What are you doing here?" Rin asked, her smile bigger than her face and faker than counterfeit money. Her eyes were all groggy and red, probably from all the crying earlier. Her eye-bags made her look as if she was just woke up.

This idiot.

I squinted my eyes and pinched her cheeks.

"Don't lie, Rin." I said and then pulled Rin to a hug. She was shivering. Maybe it was from the cold, maybe she was scared, I didn't know. I closed my eyes. Her hair smelled sweet and fruity. Although she's not, err… Full, she was so soft and warm. I wanted to hold her like that forever. "I know you were crying."

Rin looked up to me, her aquamarine eyes trembling with uncertainty. Rin was usually always so energetic and bouncy. Happy-go-lucky. But the Rin in front of me was so fragile and innocent. I couldn't help myself as I softly pressed my lips on her forehead. Seeing her a bit more relaxed, I playfully twirled her hair.

"Now… You're gonna tell me what's wrong, Rinny?"

Rin averted her eyes. "Heartbreak."

I froze for a second. So Rin really did have someone she liked… I guess it's really normal, her being on high school and all, but I just never even considered it this was such a shock to me. How come she didn't tell me until now? Was she that indifferent about me?

"Huh?" I managed to croak out. I immediately let out an idiotic face and scratched the back of my neck. "Hey! How come you've never told me?!"

Rin rolled her eyes. I should've be happy I wasn't important to her. After all, someone who isn't important to you can't hurt you. I let out a forceful laugh, and Rin let out a forceful smile.

"Well, this heartbreak seems a lot worse than mine."

That wasn't what I meant to say.

"So who's the guy?" I forced a smile, "I have to go beat him."

Rin seemed stoned in place. She looked as if she was having a debate with herself whether or whether not should she tell me. With every passing second, I felt like my own smile was killing me. Seeing the torn up Rin in front of me, all I could think of was tear off the jaw of the person who made Rin cry, while I worked myself to death just to make her smile.

"It's..."

What was Rin to me?

[Well, even if you're scared, your knight will aways come to the rescue!]

[Yeah right, go try actually beating me first!]

[I-I did, that one time!]

[That was at a game, it doesn't count!]

"It's…"

Facing the question I had repeated to myself for a billion times,

[Then, what would you do if I started dating?]

[Why are you asking that? Did someone confess to you?]

[No…! I was just curious, 's all.]

[I… If you started dating, I guess I...]

[Hm?]

[I guess I'd have to live with that.]

"It's a secret."

I couldn't pretend not to notice anymore.

Rin laughed and pulled away. She sat at her bed and smiled softly at me.

I only wanted to be beside Rin forever, to never grow apart from her. To be able to see her smile and never, ever hurt her. I… didn't understand what the fuck that emotion was, neither did I care.

[Well, you don't have anyone else willing to accept this, right?]

[H-Hey! Remember it's giri chocolate! GIRI CHOCOLATE!]

[Uh-huh. Anyone wanting to get the other type from you is insane.]

[!]

Or rather, I pretended not to. Who was I kidding? I love her! I want to be the most important person in the world to her! I don't ever want to see Rin with anyone else! She's mine! No one is allowed to take her precious smile away from me!

"Why'd you wanna know anyway?" Rin asked curiously, moving her body forward to get a better view of my face. Seeing her eyes all puffy and red from crying, her trembling lips and her little, precious expressions that said she had already given up, I knew I couldn't stop her from falling for anyone.

But it didn't matter.

"Ennh... Well, to beat him up. Like I told you before." I said and walked over to Rin. I ruffled her soft hair and grinned. I brought my face close to her.

No, none of it mattered anymore.

"But I'm also curious on what guy-"

-took my Rin away.

"-made this Rinny cry."

"…I'm still depressed." Rin pouted.

"Oh, I know what'll cheer you up," I forced a grin, "A marathon of horror movies. Tomorrow's saturday, right?"

"Okay!" Rin's eyes sparkled like the collar on Rinto's dog. "My place or your place?"

"Your place. We're already here. Plus, Rinto has his friends over and blech-alcohol." I pictured Rinto's drunken state and nearly puked.

"'Kay! C'mon! Race you downstairs!" Rin laughed and ran out of the room. I blinked and before hurrying after her, cried, "That's not fair!"

That's right, it didn't matter anymore.

I'm okay if Rin were ever to fall in love with anyone. I'm fine with being the lonely friend-zoned guy everybody feels sorry for. I'm all right if I had to see Rin dating someone happily right in front of me. As long as I'm able to be by her side, even if it's just as friend, I-

[Come on, let's go, let's go! We're almost late!]

[Let us be late! Better yet, let's not do it at all!]

[Len~! you promised we'd watch Evil Chronicles together!]

[I promised to accompany you here!]

[That's not fair!]

[But look at it's name! Sounds like some kids show or something!]

[It's not! It's live-action.]

[That doesn't make it an adult's movie!]

Rin gleefully started taking out CD boxes and sorting out the horror ones. She occasionally turned to me to ask if a movie's worthy enough. Just by seeing her blush, turn blue, or green, or red, I could already tell the movie she was looking at.

Still trying to lie to myself?

Of course it matters, idiot.

…Or so I'd like to say.

Seeing the smiling face of my childhood friend, I decided I didn't have to think about this kind of stuff yet. We could still play and joke around without a care in the world. If I could still stay by her side and see her smile, what was I complaining about?

I'm sure we'd stay forever like this, mess up along the way a few times, get scolded, get mad at each other, and then repair our broken bonds. Again, and again. Maybe we'd fall in love with different persons, or maybe I'd stay like this and it turns out she felt she way and we'd start dating. Ah, that's probably impossible, though.

If our pure friendship got stained with love, I wasn't even sure we'd start dating. Maybe we'd still be the way were. We'd tease, fight, make up… Only this time, we'd kiss, and hug, and hold hands-Oh wait, we already do that sometimes. Holding hands and hugging, I mean. We'd tell people we were friends, then laugh when they get confused when we kiss.

I turned to Rin who was now gripping my shirt tightly, scared. Her eyes were still red, and her cheeks were still all puffy from crying. Her eye-bags were there, and her lips trembled as she continued to watch the movie, occasionally gasping and biting her lower lip when something scary happens.

I decided I didn't want to see the broken Rin ever again. I decided, since she has always been protecting me, I'd be the one to protect her. I'd get rid of anyone who messes up with her, or dare let her eyes shed tears. Maybe leaving stuff to fate is okay once in awhile. What our relationship was… I decided I didn't care. I'm fine if she found someone else and started dating the said person. I'm fine with her not finding anyone and stays this way forever. I knew it was selfish of me, but I didn't care.

All that matters is we'd stay this way forever, be it as friends, lovers, or anything else.

As long as she's by my side…

I'm okay with anything.

OKAYY! HOW IS IT! So we finally find out Len's feelings. In case you haven't noticed, some of Len's flashbacks are the continuation of Rin's flashbacks. I think there are some parts that're a bit confusing 'n all, so if you have any questions, please drop a review or PM me! Also, I need to know, which is better, MikuXKaito or MikuXMikuo, so please tell me that, too!

On a side note, any Sket Dance fans out there? If you are, and if you love BossunXHimeko, and you want to know or already know the ending, check out Chocolatesaregood's profile! That's my other account! I ranted a little bit about Sket Dance there! Can't help myself!

Don't forget to check out my other stories! I mainly write about Vocaloid and Fairy Tail (on my other account)! Please follow and/or fav if you enjoyed and don't forget to leave a review!

Thanks for reading!

Skye