On December 17, 2013, Megschemegg (iambeagle) and I started a conversation on Twitter that led to one of the best plot bunnies ever. Last week I was stuck in a boring three hour class (without able to use any technology), so I took out my notebook and a pen, and I wrote. I sent it to her and she told me I HAD to post it, so here we are.

Thank you Meg for having the weirdest conversation with me. Happy Birthday! Also the biggest thank you to Vicanlp for editing this huge grammar fail.

Even though I write for journalism, this is my first work of fiction ever. Hopefully you enjoy it.

By the way, Stephanie Meyer if you're reading this, I don't own it.

It was 5:30 p.m. on a Friday, the weekly happy hour and bitch-fest with the girls.

"And do you know how hard it was to keep my eyes open during that three-hour meeting? It's like Jack is obsessed with the nasty sound of his monotone voice. Ugh," Rosalie said. She was an executive at a biomedical engineering firm

"Well at least you got to sit down. Marilyn had me running around the office, getting proofs, and making sure everything was okay for the photoshoot on Monday. Not to mention I was wearing 5-inch pumps," Alice said. " And then Ben was sick at school, so I had to pick him up and then wait for Jasper get home. Let's just say Marilyn wasn't amused I had taken an hour and a half lunch. Work and mommy responsibilities suck sometimes, " she sighed, and then banged her head on the bar table, which probably had residue of herpes or poop.

I sighed. My turn.

"Well, I might have an ulcer, I haven't had a full night of sleep in two weeks, and I might make a wig from all the hair that has fallen out of my head, but we finished the campaign and pitched it. I have decided that this weekend is dedicated to sleep, drool, and fluffy pajamas.

Rosalie opened her mouth, but I slapped my hand on the table and sat up straighter.

"Oh wait , I forgot to add: the boss-douche sent out the Forbes 'Most Stressful Jobs' list and highlighted PR executive. As a joke. Yeah, ha-ha, asshole, good one. Doing your job for you while you get all the credit is hilarious. I am done. Dunzo hermano!"

I finished my rant by taking the biggest gulp of my wine. When I put my glass down, Rosalie and Alice stared at me with their pity-eyes . They know I hate my job and boss.

"Guys, stop staring at me like that. Just because I don't have my dream job like you two doesn't mean my life is over. Maybe this is a sign I need to do my 'Next Big Move,' whatever the fuck that means," I sighed. Life was hard. I kind of wanted to go back to the dingy apartment I had during college and hide.

Rosalie interrupted my pity fest.

"You know what you need? A good, sweet, funny boyfriend."

"Who can understand your sarcasm and bathroom humor," Alice said, adding her two cents.

"Yes! Lord knows you've driven men away with you poop jokes."

"Hey, poop is something that every human being has in common. Sorry if I want to go a safe route on breaking the ice. I learned my lesson when I talked about my love of steak with that PETA activist and super vegan dude. That was awkward."

Rose and Al gave me the 'you need help' look.

"All I'm saying is that you need a man to go home to at night, who would relive that stress. You know I put Emmett to good use. Actually, tonight is our date night. I'm going to climb that like a tree tonight. Unf."

Rosalie publicly made an unf sound in a bar. I needed new best friends.

"Umm, ok. First of all, TMI. I can't deny Emmett is handsome, but I don't want to picture you and your husband fucking. Brain bleach, please."

"Well I put Jazz to good use as well. But it has to be when the kids let us. Just last Tuesday, me and Jazz were doing our thing, oh man so good." I thought I saw Alice's eye glaze over. "Then Emma knocked on our door because she had a tummy ache. I seriously started wishing three-year-olds knew how to take Pepto Bismal. Sexual frustration is the worst. I don't know how you do it, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. Alice was always so over dramatic.

"B, I'm just saying that you haven't had a dude in forever and you should have one, for reasons. Look, all you have to do is say the word and I'll contact Jason, Emmett's coworker, the one that came to our Labor Day barbeque."

"You mean the lawyer that scratches his balls every 10 minutes? Sure, he can hold a conversation, but do I really want to get crabs?"

Alice snorted and added, "Stop being mean, Bella. You know there is medication for crabs."

Rosalie had the annoyed face. Man, this conversation wasn't going well. I really wanted to stop talking about my lack of love and sex life.

"Anyway, before you start calling every single dick you know, you should know I have a date… tonight."

"Are you serious?!"

"Why didn't you tell us this first?"

"What's his name?"

"What does he do?"

"How does he look? Can we stalk him on Facebook?"

"Um, no. His name is Edward. We just met. Tonight is our get-to-know-each-other date."

"Where did you meet?"

"By the Subways on Lemerand Road."

Alice smiled. "The one near the sex shop and the Kinkos?"

"That's the one. I have a feeling he's going to take my mind off my stress and work problems, even if it's for a short time. He look's great. Lots of potential." I felt my cheeks go warm.

"Yay! Well I am so happy for you. I am crossing my fingers that it works out." Rosalie looked content.

"Thanks guys, I'm excited. I should actually get going so I can get ready."

"Yes! You should wear that new dress you got at Ann Taylor. Oh and don't forget to wear the lingerie you bought at Victoria's Secret. You never know if you get lucky. And remember if you need a cop-out, like if he starts picking his nose and eating his boogers, just text 9-1-1 and I'll get Emma to call you, pretending to be sick and in need of her godmother."

I laughed. "Thanks, Alice."

-oh-

Dinner had been delicious. You can never go wrong with Italian food. Now we were getting to the main course. It was going so well.

When Edward entered me, I felt complete.

I was breathing heavy and starting to sweat. If I was going to be getting the D on the regular maybe I should start sounding less like a hyena.

"So. Full."

I am also very coherent during sexual acts.

But seriously, I hadn't felt this good in a long time. I couldn't control my moans and I didn't care if my neighbors heard through the thin walls. Lord knows I've hear 70-year-old Mr. and Mrs. Lansinger getting their groove on many times.

Edward was going deep and hitting that spot that made my toes curl.

"Oh man. Edward. I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

Then I was gone. I don't care how cliché it sound, but I felt weightless. For a minute, my mind didn't think about work, my boss, the future and bills. He was a keeper for sure if he could give me this feeling on the regular. He had given me the best orgasm ever.

When I felt okay to function, I pulled him out and wipe him off, then placed him in the drawer, promising to see him again tomorrow night.

The second part will go up sometime this week. (Oh, yeah there's more.)

Thank you for reading.