Six; Steve

Sugar Glider

SHIELD Agents were taught a number of things through their years in training, by operatives older and more experienced than they themselves were. And then, when they became field agents themselves (always assuming, of course, that that was the path they chose to take), they were taught even more things by the outside world and their own experiences. But one thing held true in all their teachings; never show your fear.

There was, more likely than not, a list somewhere of all things a proper SHIELD agent wasn't supposed to do. (Living with superheroes was probably on that list, if only for health reasons.) Showing your fear was one thing that every agent could agree was on the list, whether it existed or not.

Most would also, if asked, probably agree that squealing like a little girl was probably also on the "Do Not Do" list.

Of course, Coulson was fairly capable at ignoring the rules when it suited him.

Though he would later deny that he did not scream like a little girl, thank you.

As it was, though, he did scream when a fuzzy brown something landed on his shoulder and made a noise in his ear. All he could think of was rats, swarming everywhere, spreading disease and biting and being generally disgusting.

Thanks to his honed reflexes, he sent the thing flying across the room, where it shrieked and disappeared into the couch cushions. Coulson grabbed for his gun on pure terror filled reflex but found the holster missing; he didn't carry in the mansion. (The urge to shoot Tony or Clint was too much temptation, even for him.)

Just as he risked a glance to the side to look for another weapon, preferably something he could throw from on top of the counter, Steve hurried into the kitchen, looking around frantically.

"Are you okay sir? I heard you scream." He put both his hands on Coulson's shoulders and squeezed, and Coulson found himself calming, as he normally did whenever his childhood hero-turned-friend was near him.

"I—yes. I'm fine. There was a…a thing. A rat, or something." And though he hated to admit that a rat made him, a hardened SHIELD agent shriek like that, Coulson was more concerned with finding and getting rid of it and any of its little friends that it no doubt had brought with it.

Steve stared at Coulson, and then glanced behind him into the living room, and then he burst out laughing. Coulson stiffened and Steve felt it through his grip on Coulson's shoulders, and his laughter instantly died. "Oh, no, I wasn't laughing at you. It's just, that's not a rat. That's a sugar glider. His name is Sid. I…erm…adopted him. From that shelter that I volunteer at twice a week? The small animal one. He just…he looked so lonely." Steve eventually trailed off because Coulson was glaring at him—something he'd never done and normally reserved for Tony or Clint.

"No, Steve." Coulson didn't care if it wasn't a rat. It was rat-like. And, "I've already said no to every other member of this team having a pet. Including the Hulk. I can't allow you to keep it. It wouldn't be fair." Never mind that Steve of all people had snuck an animal in under his nose. Steve, who was supposed to follow the rules when no one else did. Coulson felt like curling into a ball and crying at the unfairness of it.

And okay, maybe his nerves were still a little shot from the sugar glider attacking him.

Steve ducked his head and whistled, and the little rat that wasn't a rat came gliding towards his outstretched hand. Coulson stepped back and tried to keep from flinching.

"I'll take him back now, then. Sorry about the trouble he caused you, sir." Coulson sighed. At least Steve had the decency to hide his pout from him. Coulson wasn't sure he could resist it.

"Steve…maybe someday, once we're all settled in a bit better, we can see about getting a communal pet. Something everyone agrees on. No birds of prey or exotic animals or cyborg-things. Something nice. Something normal. But not for a little while, yet." Coulson kept his tone gentle and Steve nodded along, a slow, soft smile building the more Coulson talked. "Besides, we can't endanger an animal by having it live here. Clint still shoots real arrows at Tony when they drink, and Thor forgets not to call Mjolner from several floors away. It wouldn't be safe." Steve chuckled a bit and agreed, and Coulson was just glad when he and the sugar glider left.

Coulson hung his head and wondered if he'd ever have to make good on that promise. Not likely, since it really wasn't safe for an animal around the house and they never knew when they would have to take off on various missions, not to mention Thor went home occasionally, Steve volunteered across the city at a hundred different things, and Tony and Bruce forgot the world existed on a regular basis.

Really, they just weren't the pet type.