Loving You

When I entered the harem I didn't believe the beauty I saw. I was scared and alone for so long and now I'm here. Finally at the end of the journey that would take my life away. The life I could have had, kids with a loving husband was gone. Being a filial daughter and taking care of my parents in their old age was gone.

I walk towards my palace; it's the one farthest to the east, where the sun rises. My position as the eldest daughter to the head of Hyuga Clan helps me here. I notice that the other girl who's with me is gleaming. Her name is Ino; we've been friends for a long time. She's from a very powerful clan as well, not only that but apparently she was the only one asked by name to be here.

I was simply chosen for my Clan, they wanted to represent the Hyuga Clan and here I am. My Father had to sacrifice his eldest to keep the fragile balance of our Kingdom safe. Than when our maids were chosen from our family, they told us that Ko wouldn't be enough. Ko has been with me since I was very young. He is a strong young man and we all thought he was capable. My Father and Mother decided to ruin my sister's life. They had to a send a girl and no one from the branch family would do. It would be a slight. I promised them when the time came I could find her a good husband.

My Mother no longer has any children to keep her company and until Hanabi marries my Father's future to keep the Hyuga Line strong remains weak.

The Palace was called White Jade; apparently before Emperor Sasuke's Father took over his grandfather had many concubines. White Jade was where he put all the Hyuga Clan members.

I waited until Hanabi and Ko checked everything, they're very cautious. The dangers of the Palace have been over whelming since his act of treason occurred.

"Sister, everything seems in order, in fact our Clan colors are very prominent. Look at the beautiful ornaments. He must have put thought in this." She said cheerily, it was a bit forced, but I could tell she really was in awe of the beauty. Everything was so majestic; you almost didn't want to touch anything. Fearing you would ruin it.

I looked around as Ko carefully moved about making sure everything has a place. I sat down on the cushion seat, my sister quickly started to rub my shoulders.

"I know this has been hard, but soon after the tributes have been given out and we greeted the Empress we can visit Ino. She's so close, but rules require us to relax and reflect on our own. "

"I'm impressed with the quality of silk used for this cushion. Tell me, what do you think about it?" I asked, I couldn't help but notice how new it looked, how clean it looked.

"Its new sister, no one has ever touched it before. It was made carefully; see the flowers move like there is wind? Whoever thought of this design was a genius. You are really sitting on air." She said with poise before running her hand across the copy next to me.

"It's perfect, carefully planned and meticulous, just like everything in the Palace. Wherever I go, I must be perfect, everything, from the colors of my clothes to the jewelry I wear when visiting certain people. It must be perfect. Hanabi, this is how we live now. Everything we do."

"Hanabi, you are young. In the Palace, things are different. But Hinata, please don't feel trapped. This can be amazing for your family." Said Ko gently. He noticed the tiredness of my voice.

"Yeah Hinata, let me get you out of those traveling clothes, the new clothes made for this occasion are here. Look at this, beautiful isn't it?"

My sister holds out a beautiful lavender dress with plum plants. The dress has striking silver branches with perfect pink flowers on it. I let her slip my clothes off. The clothes I would never wear again unless I am disgracefully banished. The dark purple shirt and skirt seemed so ugly next to my new clothes. She wraps me in them and pulls me down in the new vanity. The mirror is shiny and new, the design of small rectangles frames it. I pull the little drawers and gasp.

A beautiful jade bracelet, firm and cold to the touch it, it has no flaws. My sister squeals.

"How could this be, everything was chosen beforehand. You should have received nothing before the Tribute takes place." Ko looks over our shoulders.

"This Emperor must love her." Hanabi whispers, she touches it lightly in my hand.

"It's flawless, simply of the highest quality must be rare."

"Yes, I agree Hanabi." I slide it back. "It's better not to make enemies the first day though. So tell no one, not even when my servants are assigned to me later today."

Hanabi sighs and lets me hide it back. She takes the careful silver pins, including my Mothers fine dangled one in my hair. Hanabi knows how to do my hair and loves to do it, yet she chooses something simple.

"Hanabi, so simple?"

"I don't want you to blind them with your beauty sister. Save that for the Emperor." She says slyly.

I giggle lightly, the smile appears on my face and both Ko and Hanabi give real smiles. It's been long since they have heard that sound.

"Hurry, sit out there and look beautiful. It's time for tributes to be handed out." Ko ushers us out quickly before whispering to me.

"Always look happy, when another person receives a gift you should make eye contact and smile. Do not show fair, do not show anger or jealously. Be stronger than that. "

I nod quickly before sitting down. A table is set before me and the lavish tablecloth will seem like nothing once it's filled with gifts that are sure to impress the new Ladies of the Harem.

Maids and Eunuchs quickly come down with gifts upon gifts. I look over to my left and Ino is smiling proudly. She is wearing a beautiful dark purple dress with white and blue designs on it. Her makeup was done perfectly and enhances her large blue eyes.

I see huge bundles of beautiful clothe in all colors of a rainbow come down. Large boxes of jewelry come down and lovely scents move through my nose. Handing out perfume and incense we all must smell lovely, even in the heat.

Ino's table quickly fills and I remember to smile at her, she doesn't even look up she's so excited.

Another girl with dark red hair that's in a very interesting low-sided design smiles up at me. She has a beautiful red piece on her table. She strokes it gently.

A maid stops by and bows lightly to Hana and Ko before coming and putting mine down. A beautiful box of jewels is left. Jewels that can be used to design hair pieces or earrings. I smile gently. All of these gifts mean nothing. We all know this deep down, even if it gives us fleeting happiness, our positions here are temporary. We have all seen the Emperor, our husband maybe 5 minutes as best. Until he calls for us at night there is nothing, and even than favor come and goes. What we need is to give sons or even daughters to prove we can give sons in the future.

Empress Sakura married the Emperor when he was 2nd son and still a prince two years ago, yet she has no child. Not even proof. Even a miscarriage could have been better. But so far her womb has been barren, no evidence that it is even possible.

That is why we are here.

Hanabi is smiling and when the tributes leave we all rise and leave with our servants to see the Empress, the head of the Harem.

The walk isn't long but my feet hurt the new shoes are not comfortable. We walk silently; after all we know so little about each other. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling discomfort though.

We make our way and stand next to our seats as Empress Sakura stares at us from her seat at front.

When we all make our way in, with Ino and me up front we bow.

"Greeting to Empress, may you live 1000 years and have eternal happiness."

We bow three times before standing up waiting for orders.

Empress Sakura doesn't smile she doesn't blink. She looks like a hard jade statue, beautiful and unmoving.

"Sit." Her voice was soft yet hard at the same time. Her beautiful pink and green dress and high hairstyle that pulls her pink hair in tight elegant design that only an Empress could pull off. It is delicate with pearls and rubies in gold and lovely lines. Her earrings don't quiver in the slightest and are perfectly round hanging next to her face.

She sighs softly.

"New faces in the harem, here I thought I would have been alone in peace. I understand that we are all here to serve my husband. Emperor Sasuke wants children and our kingdom needs heirs. May Kami smile on us and bless us, bless our kingdom. Now Leave."

She says it forcefully and I know it's hurting her. Everyone in our nation was shocked by his actions. His father had only one wife Mikoto and he had vowed to take only Ami. His beautiful wife was going to have his child. If only the world was on their side.

Ino gives a quick glance before standing up.

"Empress Sakura, your beauty does not compare to any of ours, please feel secure and happy. As the Mother to our Kingdom your responsibilities are great yet you do not look like you've aged. In comparison we have aged just by coming here."

Ino bows and leaves. I quickly follow out.

Ino was waiting for me and clasps my hand.

"Hinata, we are already blessed. Others have no one yet we have each other. We will keep each other safe."

We sip over tea and say meaningless things, we're just trying to wait until night falls and the Emperor picks one of us. I know the chance of it being me is slim, but we all secretly want it.

"Good evening Lady Ino and Lady Hinata. I am pleased to tell you that Lady Ino should get ready to serve the Emperor." The Eunuch leaves quickly.

My eyes close and I feel a small smile form. I will not be in the lime light. I do not need to anger Empress Sakura. I can stay hidden.

Ino though squeals delightfully and I am ushered out by her servants.

I pray for Ino, that she doesn't receive favor. We all lose favor. Better to never experience it, so the lost isn't great. Than what happens to us? I pray for a baby instead.

When I wake up I startle myself. This ceiling is not my ceiling. The beautiful hanging of bamboo and pandas are not mine. However my sister's smiling face eases me.

She wraps me in a light green dress with purple and blue designs, the collar and lining is dark blue and it's nothing that I've ever worn before.

"Green is beautiful on you sis."

I smile and let Hanabi test my hair out as Ko instructs the new members of our small alliance. Her name is Emi and she is beautiful. She has long straight black hair and dark brown eyes. She wears a simple blue dress that serves her well. She is kind a little flirtatious but fun to be around. She lays out the meal the Royal Kitchen has prepared for me.

Ayame then rushes in. "Miss, Ino has stayed with the Emperor the entire night! Already servants are putting down flowers in large vases."

"Sister maybe you should look afterwards, this is your Palace too and you love flowers."

Hanabi finishes my hair, there is unease since I haven't answered. The truth is I don't know how. Should I go out there and see the flowers uninvited? Yes it's my home, but this is proof for his favor. I am happy for her. But favor can mean so little too quickly. A flower wilts and fades away. Jewelry breaks and rusts over time. Clothes can be torn and stained. The real security is having a healthy male who loves you. That's real security and I'm sure Ino knows it.

"I want to wait until she gets back. I'll visit her then. Maybe she'll invite me." I finish eating quickly.

They smile gently and quickly clean up.

"Hanabi can you show me some of the new cloth I received?" Hanabi instructs Ayame and Emi to go and get it.

"They'll make beautiful clothes."

I finger them lightly and watch my sister reactions. When I get towards the middle my eyes stop at the deep red one. It has dark green and yellow with hints of gold and orange, even though it's beautiful but also mature, the color is muted. This is what an older woman wears.

I take that and a dark orange out and tell Ayame to keep these in storage. I am almost positive it is a test. A woman with fewer upbringings might not be able to pick out what's appropriate but I was taught by the best, my Mother.

I take out the lightest pink one and give it to Hanabi. Her smiles make my heart swell. I love my sister and being here will not be easy. I want to give her happiness when I can.

"Ino has called for you." Ko says quickly. Ayame takes the cloth back and instructs other to make clothes from a few I've selected and my sister quickly puts a beautiful pearl necklace around my neck before I leave quickly.

Hanabi whispers to me gently telling me the servant gossip. Empress Sakura enraged, Karin's apparent tears, and how Sasuke and Ino have been talking since the choosing.

I don't want to listen to it much; I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to save my sister's life, find her a husband and keep my family out of troubling. This means staying out of Sakura bad side and not causing havoc in the Harem.

When I get there Ino looks gleaming, practically gushes about the flower even before I bow.

"Hinata, look! Can you believe my luck? See look!" I said last night that my family taught me to love flowers and here they are pots of flowers."

I nod, she takes my arm and we walk side by side. She doesn't hide her voice, the excitement and boldness is still the Ino I know and love.

Amongst the huge pots of chrysanthemums, a common flower for love there are small purple flowers. When I push a few buds out of the way I see them clearly. They are gloxinias, a flower I didn't know that existed here on Palace grounds. They mean love at first sight.

"Ino, did you ask for these?" She looks over and smiles softly.

"No but they're sweet looking aren't they?"

"Ino these are gloxinias, they're rare here and mean love at first sight."

She laughs, "Love? I hope so. I know he didn't marry the Empress for love." She scoffs.

I wanted to speak out in her defense. Sakura had been married for love. She was a daughter of a simple cook and now she's the Empress? How could it be if not for love?

"Favor so quickly will allow you to rise in rank; it'll better your life here."

"True true, but Hinata I've never felt this way before." Ino sighs happily.

"I thought that I would miss Shikamaru more, but I don't. After Sasuke I realize how stupid my dreams were. I was meant to be here with him."

"Shikamaru would have made a loving and loyal husband."

"But he's so lazy! Oh Hinata you're so polite, but we all know he wasn't for me. Sasuke power matches mine; we are perfect for each other."

She smiles lightly and shows me an earring.

"Beautiful aren't they? Shikamaru's gift to me."

How could she wear them after sleeping with the Emperor was beyond me but I smiled meekly. I didn't always understand Ino, but we've been friends for years.

"They are lovely."

"They aren't they? I don't want to forget him Hinata, but I do need to move on. My future was sealed for better or worse when my name was called. We had no future from that moment on. He knew that. Don't think of me as cruel Hinata, I couldn't bare that!"

I touch her hand, "Ino you have been blessed. I would never think of you as cruel for being lucky. If you make the Emperor happy you are making the Kingdom happy."

Ino nods and smiles to herself.

"I can't wait to see her face. My maid was telling me that Karin and Empress Sakura were beyond upset about this."

"Please Ino promise me not to make enemies here."

"The moment he called my name I became a target I need to be strong."

We make our way together to greet the Empress, right after breakfast we go to the Hall of Spring Gatherings.

Ino leads first and then I slip in. Karin and the others were already there. Some looked Ino with envy, others with hatred and some with a light smug look.

"Greeting to Empress, may you live 1000 years and have eternal happiness."

She motions us to sit.

"Ino I'm glad to see you so bright, you should rest though. No need to greet me, you're doing the work our Kingdom needs. You deserve rest."

Her voice sounds controlled, no anger or happiness.

"I am sorry about my earlier appearance, I had disturbing news. As I'm sure you know the council that helps our Emperor rule, which is outside the realm of woman, has come to my attention. The Nara Clan's head has recently died. A disease caught him and unfortunately by the time he arrived to the capital for treatment he was gone. Shitake has served Emperors for three generations wisely and has given them just information. He will be resting in heaven amongst them. That being said Shikamaru Naru has taken in birth right and is now Head of the Naru Clan."

Karin stands up her light yellow dress makes her skin washed out, but her hair vibrant.

"Yes?"

"Empress Sakura, Does that mean Shikamaru will remain in the capital?"

"Yes, all clan heads are part of the council, however many travel between here and their Clan Homes. Why? You should have known this."

"Many new Heads are appearing that is all." Karin bows and sits back down.

"Why take an interest when you're here to serve only one man?" Ino says, she looks hurt and I know that Karin will take the force of it.

Empress Sakura remains silent though.

"Many new faces are here at court, its important know but not for that reason Ino. We are all sister's here, under the Empress's guidance we will serve our country just as well as them. We all new here anyways."

Sakura nods and before Ino mentions something.

"Ever since Itachi's sacrifice which the truth just resurfacing Emperor Sasuke has decided a clean slate, however under no circumstance would he kill anyone. So save your tongue. This is a fresh era. One that will be remembered. However history will erase those who do not deserve it."

We leave after that. Karin pulls me aside as Ino speeds up, ahead.

"Hinata." She bows respectfully.

"Karin."

Hanabi and Ayame bows too.

"Please take a walk with me?"

We head over to the General Garden which is a huge maze of beautiful flowers and bushes. My breath is taken away and we walk in awe. It is the only place where men and women could possibly bump into each other.

We pass several old ranking officials running to and from.

"A peek into the busy life of a man. Exciting isn't it?" Karin whispers breathlessly.

We bow when a Kiba Inuzuka comes running forward. A new council member he has made strives to improve the health of northern regions and is a good companion of Sasuke.

"Lovely Ladies, Emperor Sasuke always gets the perks." He is brash and loud though, qualities that aren't always good.

I look away, but I know he's teasing, still.

"Such a handsome man with a wicked tongue what a pity." Karin smirks.

Kiba laughs easily.

"I'm sure you don't remember me Lady Hinata. When we were young once we meet for a few weeks during a summit?"

"Ah, yes I do. If I memory serves me right you were loud then too." A keep my eyes down but allow myself to smile. He was not only loud but went swimming in a koi pond. I still remember his Mother's screams mixed with his laughs.

He laughs again. "Surely you only have fond memories though."

As the gongs plays signify an event Kiba smiles.

"I'm sorry Gorgeous girls, but I'm afraid my amazing presence must leave. I have business to attend to."

We bow and leave quickly.

"He's handsome." Karin states bluntly.

"Maybe."

"Hinata, don't think of me as unfaithful, I know my time for favor will come. The wait is killing me though. I know I don't come from a prestigious clan like you, nor do I have amazing looks."

"Karin, you wouldn't have been chosen if the Emperor Sasuke felt nothing towards you. You shouldn't worry about that. Ayame please go back to the Palace and have milk tea made."

Ayame nods and leaves quickly.

Karin smiles at me, I realize that her smile soothes out her harsh edges. I smile back.

We continue walking around and even feed some fish when we make our way back. Before we get to the Palace Emi comes running.

"Miss, please don't come."

"Don't tell her what to do!" Karin yells quickly.

Emi quickly kneels on the ground and Ayame comes out and speaks. "I know we are sorry. The Emperor instructed us though and-"

"He is there?" I rush out. I'm surprised. Emperors are allowed at Harems of course, but when we are virgins first night is in his Palace.

"Speak, why is he there?" I press for information.

Ayame lowers her face quickly and turns red.

"They are being intimate and want time without interruption."

We all look at each other.

"Get up, we can go to my palace, this heat is wilting us though."

We leave quickly and make our way on. It's a shock though. He couldn't wait for night fall?

Her Palace is beautiful to the North. It's been decorated with care and bowls of koi fish are around.

We sit in the gathering room open to the outside compound. She's tense though and probably would like to take a nap.

I put my hand on top of hers.

"Drink your tea Karin."

She sighs but complies.

"How can he not wait? Does she have a love potion?"

"Don't say something like that, those are forbidden!" I rush to say. Although I find it strange too Ino is my friend, that accusing can make her life very hard.

Hanabi opens her mouth gently and says, "Karin, she has luck, but luck doesn't like staying still."

I smile. "It'll come your way soon."

She smiles.

"The tributes we received are beautiful. I saw your pile it was enormous."

I smile lightly. "The jewels you received though must have caught the eyes of many women here though."

"They are lovely, I want to make more hair pieces though, I have very few."

I take a small silver rose piece that I was wearing and slip it out of my hairdo.

"A token of friendship." I told it out.

She smiles gratefully and slips it in quickly.

"Thank you." She grasps my hand.

For the next hour we talk about our families. I tell her about Hanabi, how when she turns old enough I'd like to marry her to a wonderful husband. Karin will keep an eye open for available men in the area. She tells me about her life as an only child her mother had, but was the first of four. 3 girls and a boy.

"My Mother lost favor with Dad once the son came, that was five year ago. Although I love my brother I can't help but hate him too."

The only male my age was my cousin Neji who had married his wife Tenten after much debate from the elders of our clan. He was the only boy close to my Father. He's happy now, he deserves to be happy. Probably will be head of the clan but hopefully not for many years to come. I want my Father to live after all.

However she understands how a Harem works since she was raised in one. She knows that the tide can turn and that a son keeps you in your husband's mind forever.

She tells me about her dreams. Having the first son, a son who's kind and loving but powerful and strong. A daughter that will keep her company and have a good sense of humor. I don't tell her that children are a low priority for me. I just keep it silent.

When Ko comes and gives the okay we embrace and I leave.

Once back to my Palace I smell the pleasant aroma through Ino's walls.

I was about to lay my head down for a midafternoon nap when Ino walks right in. She has tears running down her face.

"Twice in less than twenty-four hours and yet he wants to sleep with the Empress tonight!"

She doesn't even notice my tired eyes she flops on my bed next to me and I smell sandalwood, evidence of the Emperor.

"The Empress is Mother of the Nation Ino, it might mean nothing but duty to him." I calm her down as quickly as I can.

"Not only that, but Shikamaru is here. How can I face him? When I already love Sasuke so much it hurts."

"This life is hard. And don't worry about him. He isn't allowed here. "

Hanabi offers her some tea and I'm very impressed with my sister. Tea wasn't brewing yet a perfect cup is here for her.

She cries loudly. "Sasuke is my true love I know that. I want to be pregnant so badly. I am taking all the right herbs and doing nothing to hurt my chances. Yet if I see Shikamaru, will my resolved end? Will I lose this child from the shock?"

"We don't even know." I wanted to start out with that. High hopes can be dangerous.

"I know!" She shrieks. "I know that I have a child. I will not fail."

"Then don't go to the Grand Gardens, they are general for everyone in the Palace. Just stay in the private ones for the Harem and you won't run into him. Please rest Ino. You worked hard."

She nods and takes a polite sip of the tea. She traces her finger around the lid.

"When he's with me he has so much passion. He tells me how beautiful I am, how our children will be lovely. He's wooing me and he doesn't have to. I'm worried that they are empty words though. And I know Hinata; I know that the Emperor words never lie. But how?"

"How?"

"How can he love us both at the same time?"

"It's expected, it's his divine right."

She shakes her head.

"Then that would mean I could love Shikamaru and Him?"

"Ino!"

"I know, I'm not saying I do. But why can't I?"

"Because you are not the Emperor!"

I blurted it out quickly because I didn't know the answer.

"Fugaku loved Mikoto, everyone knows this. Itachi and Ami they were perfect together too. Itachi vowed to the nation on their wedding day that he would never marry another!"

"Don't speak so bluntly about them! Itachi's and Ami's sacrifice and Fugaku's crimes are well known."

"So why not speak it?" Ino calms down.

"Itachi killed Fugaku and his supporters including Mikoto because Itachi knew she wouldn't be able to stay alive as the Dowager Empress. We all know Itachi didn't want to be Emperor."

"We all know that something went wrong though."

"Ami lost her child months before the plan was going to take. Her child was going to be the future. She was going to Dowager Empress and run this country until their child could or when Sasuke was ready. He didn't want to be Emperor either. In the end no one really got what they wanted but peace and a shaky balance was restored."

Ami lost her child because of the supporters and Itachi couldn't wait any longer to get his wife pregnant. He begged her though to stay alive.

However he used it as an excuse and cover up, saying the reason he murdered all those people was because of Ami's miscarriage. Itachi was always smart and perfect for the military field, he didn't expect his obedient and loving wife to commit suicide the night he carried out his plan. Itachi after writing a letter just for Sasuke ends up killing himself.

It was the biggest scandal in generations and still the details are sketchy. The official version states Itachi and Ami as war heroes.

"I know, but the point is why Sasuke different."

"Should he have just married Sakura and ended it?"

"That would mean I could love Shikamaru."

I stroke her hair lightly.

"Please don't worry about that. We all have roles to play."

Ino nodded finished her tea and left.

More than anything in the world I prayed that night for her child.