First Free!fanfic, yay! There isn't much going on in this chapter. It's mainly thoughts and feelings, something I don't usually do. But since I yet have to deepen myself into the relationship between these boys, this thing turned out to be sort of a character study. let's say that this is the long introduction to the next chapter, when the action starts.

This fic is mainly focused on Makoharu, second chapter only makoharu really. I honestly ship both rinharu and makoharu, but I was in the mood to write some fluffy stuff and Makoharu made the cut :D

Enjoy!

Haruka Nanase is a solitary man, and Makoto is well aware of that. As a childhood friend, being the raven-haired boy's company for as long as the both of them can remember, Makoto is sure. Haruka isn't a romantic, sentimental type. He cannot always find the right words to describe his thoughts and feelings. And Haruka might be stubborn, obsessed by the feel of water and the taste of mackerel, and only spends his time on bathing and eating mackerel if Makoto doesn't intervene.

Haruka is a solitary man.

But Haruka isn't an emotionless man.

Makoto always knew what Haruka has. Despite the blue-eyed man's stoic façade, Makoto would enjoy the sparkle in Haruka's eyes when he faces a body of water, his timely surprised face when Nagisa glomps him, his faint expression of irritation when Rin decides to get skinshippy with him again. Or his face when he listens carefully. Many people would simply pass by those type of emotions. People like Rin, Nagisa or Rei wouldn't always take their time to take in those little expressions of Haruka.
But Makoto would.

Makoto would glance carefully at the shorter male next to him as Haruka acts on his own. He would watch him when he looks around, eats, listens, writes or communicates with others, and his chest would always feel warm when any kind of tiny expression would show on Haruka's face. It proves that Haruka is just a human is him. Despite, well, almost everything. As a friend, Makoto likes triggering those expressions as well. He wouldn't throw things overboard, like Rin would do. But the brunet would often joke around, read his mind up loud, or smile softly at him when their eyes meet. Respectively, Haruka would react stubbornly, look away irritated or look slightly surprised with a faint blush on his cheeks.

To Makoto, it is something sacred.

And that's why he's so grateful to Rin.

Recently, after Rin's return. Makoto has seen new expressions on Haruka. Just like Rin would say, he has seen a sight he's never seen before. Thanks to Rin, Makoto was so able to see Haruka Nanase smile. And until just a few weeks ago, even laugh! Makoto adores watching Haruka and Rin compete against each other. Haruka's determined, competitive expression. Or when Rin suddenly hugs him with a sudden force. Haruka's surprised, overwhelmed expression. Rin Matsuoka can trigger emotions from Haruka in ways Makoto wouldn't dare. Because he knows Haruka isn't used to the brunet trying.
Secretly Makoto wants to initiate it, but for now, he prefers watching his friend react to the world, and take it in.

Sometimes Makoto wonders where the habit comes from though. He has observed him ever since they met. Or better say, his entire life, because he actually doesn't know when they have met. Is Haruka that captivating? Is that why he is always craving for that sparkle in his ocean blue eyes? Is his craving so bad he wants to trigger it more? Makoto thought he didn't have the strength to advance. Haruka was his best friend, not a subject of study where Makoto could do anything he wants, just to see how the raven-haired boy reacts.

He always used to think of Haruka's expressions, but for the past few months the thought has gradually bugged him more. He honestly has never seen Haruka's laugh. As a someone who has been his friend his entire life, he was starting to feel jealous. Yes, Makoto was grateful to Rin for opening up a new world to Haruka, to show him a different view of things. He has made Haruka experience feelings he would never forget, and neither would Makoto.
But this makes Makoto wonder where he went wrong in his friendship with Haruka. Sometimes he would wonder why he never argued so much with him, or why he never once annoyed Haruka, or made him very happy about something (it was until recently he heard from Haruka how much he appreciated him, so Makoto thinks his frustration on that part isn't justified). Their friendship would always go at a normal steady pace where none of them complains. They are so constant in each other's lives that it's unthinkable to be seperate from one another.

But when he looks at Rin and Haru's relationship, he's sees something completely new. Their relationship is raging like a fire. It's mobile. Full of life, competition and heavy emotions. Things Makoto has rarely or never experienced with Haruka before. If he would glance back at Rin at Haruka, and then look at Haruka and him, he would call their friendship almost boring. Yet he knows Haruka needs him as much as Makoto needs him, and he feels terrible for thinking it.

Argh, he's so confused. He likes Haruka so much, but something is lacking.

If Rin can make Haruka laugh, so can Makoto.

One evening when his parents and Ran en Ren where out on another camping trip, he invited Haruka over to stay the night. Before Haruka arrived, the thought bugged the brunet once again. He wants to see Haruka laugh again. His expression back then had burned on his retina. His bright smile was like a dazzling gleam that sent Makoto's restraint over the edge. He couldn't let himself but to hug Haruka tightly, together with Rin, Nagisa and Rei. An expression like that is what Makoto would cherish for the rest of his life, and he would do anything to make it reappear again. The young brunet was determined.

The doorbell rang.

Makoto is conflicted with himself when it comes to his friendship with Haruka these days. That's what it basically comes to. On one side he's grateful to Rin for opening up Haruka, on the other side he's quite jealous for what these two have. It makes it look like there is something missing between Haruka and himself. But Makoto doesn't really want to believe that, because what they have is a stable and constant friendship anybody wishes for. Yet it is bothering him and he's trying to ban it out of his mind.

Next chapter you'll see how Makoto handles it | (• ◡•)|