A/N:

This plot was given to me by... yessss, you guessed it... Risknight. I hope to the muses that it came out to hers and all yours liking. (is still a bit rusty in the writing department since her months off, after all)

Anyways, this has some iffy words for little kiddies, so I rated it M for safety. ^_^

So, enjoy!

Sheldon jumped out of the bus's doors and turned around with two bungee cords gripped inside his hands as he yelled out, "Well, maybe the public transit should start manufacturing their own seat belts… then I wouldn't have to USE THESE."

The door hissed as it shut tightly and the hefty bus rolled on leaving Sheldon on the side of the road. He jammed the bungee cords into his satchel then suddenly got stiff and looked around nervously, "Oh Einstien's Hairdo, where as that four wheeled, rolling pit of Hell brought me to?"

As he brushed off the dust on his butt from his bus pants, he did a 360 turn. He supposed he could WALK home, but there was a 39 percent chance that he'd get robbed before making it to the 9 blocks he had to scale to get to Euclid Avenue. He swallowed deeply and took a few steps to get to the crosswalk at the corner. He almost pressed the button to cross the street, but like some beacon from a lighthouse the sign caught his eye.

'Going Out of Business. Every Video $3 or Less'

He remembered renting out videos and games from that place 1 year and 45 days before he met Leonard. He did enjoy the woman who owned it. She never spoke unless to ask if that was all and she kept the place as tidy as a video store could be asked to. The only thing he despised about it was the 'Adult Video' section. He dared not even touch the door knob to the entrance. It was a small room with every wall shelved and full of all types of videos in no particular order. There was a TV embedded in the wall and always played some graphic show with a woman being bent over and moaning far too loudly. It bothered him because there was no way of turning the TV off or the volume down. He remembered that the damned door always stuck so that the only way to get out was if someone else were to comein. It was just a containment of germs and awkwardness.

Sheldon blushed at the many times he found himself locked inside. It was embarrassing that someone with his IQ would still fall for the same foolish trap again and again. Luckily, he discovered the comic book store and decided to do his video shopping online only.

Sheldon sighed and was about to just move on and head home, but the sky got dark and a drop of rain aimed and dropped right on the physicist's forehead. Sheldon looked up and groaned. The sky let loose and made up the mind of the doctor as he rushed towards the video store.

Sheldon flung open the double glass doors and the wind of the storm flapped his 'Member's Only' jacket like a superhero cape within the store. As the doors slowly closed behind him, the handful of people in the store didn't even acknowledge his presence. He looked around and sighed through his nose and reached up with one hand to rustle his hair and fling the rain all around the horridly brown carpeted area. He looked up and saw the brightly dyed hair of the old woman he remembered that worked here. The woman looked up at him from the top of the circular checkout table then she spun in her chair back to the register.

Sheldon moved to the only section he cared about; the Science Fiction section. It was a bare shelf on either side with a movie in random, unorganized spots. He saw the Prometheus movie and shook his head while whispering to himself, "My hope for humanity has been restored."

He sidestepped while keeping his eyes on the shelves and paused for a moment. As he saw the tattered box of Fifth Element, the hairs on the back of his neck tingled. He shrugged his right shoulder and rubbed the side of his neck against his clothed shoulder and that's when he saw eyes staring at him over the edge of the top shelf. Sheldon jumped back and screamed his high pitched yelp and nearly knocked over the shelf behind him.

Penny stood up straight behind the shelf and didn't suppress her laugh. She slapped the top of the shelf and leaned over as she brayed like a donkey from laughing so hard. Sheldon's chin wrinkled as he pursed his lips angrily and watched his neighbor almost hyperventilate from laughing at him and he growled loudly, "Are you quite finished?"

She stuttered through strained laughs and shook her head as she finally let the laughter die down. She held her stomach and let out a few Oh's while wiping tears from her eyes, "That's the best laugh I've had in years. Thanks Moonpie."

Sheldon ground his teeth together as his nose twitched for a moment before collecting himself, "Nobody calls me Moonpie but Memaw!"

Penny gave a few more chuckles before moving to the end of the shelf and meeting Sheldon in the center, "What brings you to my neck of the woods, Sweetie?" She moved to pretend to look at the collection of DVDs while fighting off the bouts of laughter that still plagued her.

Sheldon didn't realize that this store was only two blocks away from The Cheesecake Factory. He gripped his strap of his satchel and realized that he could get a ride with Penny back to the apartment. He sighed and looked at his blonde neighbor, "Penny…"

Before he could even say another word, the glass door opened and Ramona Nowitzki was blown into the store like a super villain. She did a double step and looked around with her eyes narrowed. All that was missing was a dramatic flash of lightning. Sheldon squeaked and fell to the floor and put his back against the shelf.

Penny looked down at him in bafflement then looked up to see that crazy Ramona bitch. She kneeled down so fast she almost left her hair in the air. She looked over at Sheldon with a knowing fear on her face, "Please tell me she didn't follow you here?"

Sheldon was hugging his bag with his knees to his chest, "How could she? I didn't even know I'd be here."

Penny flipped so that her back was against the shelf, "Oh my GOD… she can see into the future! We're all DOOMED! DooOooooomed."

Sheldon sniffed, "Have you not mocked me enough tonight? You are forgetting the fact that you are ALSO hiding, which means you do not want to be seen just as much as I do. So, we are both on the same side. What we need here is a plan of attack."

Penny sighed and nodded, "Sounds good. What's the plan, brainy man?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes but went back into strategic mode, "The first thing we need to do is to target our enemy."

Penny nodded then rolled to her knees and baby crawled to the edge of the shelf. She moved to kneeling position then stood up, making sure she was still low enough to not be spotted. She didn't see her. She stood up taller and did a rotation with her eyes darting in every direction. Then, she saw her. Her eyes were looking down the aisles as if looking for someone instead of something. Penny scrambled back to Sheldon and waved for him to move and quick. They stayed low and zoomed to the side of the aisle closest to the wall and they scrambled all while hugging the wall without knocking DVD's off the shelf.

As if she could smell their scent and sense their plan, Ramona turned and cut them off. Sheldon stopped dead in his tracks. Penny yelped and whispered, "And what was the other part of this attack plan?" Sheldon scowled then turned and pushed Penny repeatedly. Penny whimpered and swatted at his hands but then got low and darted with speed neither knew they had. As they moved, Penny found a cubbyhole in the wall and pulled Sheldon inside. Before Sheldon could stop her physically or verbally, Penny reached out and yanked the door close.

As the two let their panting fill the air, the sound of a woman whimpering and corny organ music played behind them. Sheldon's eyes shut tightly as Penny's eyebrows furrowed and she turned around. She moved past him, through shoulder high curtains hanging from another door way, and began to chuckle and shake her head, "Wow… she is such a horrible actress… but she does have a really good hair dresser. Her roots are flawless."

Sheldon didn't move from the small hallway leading to the old porno room and fought the urge to bang on the door. He didn't want to run the risk of Ramona opening the door so the only choice was to wait it out…

"Wow! I remember when I could get into that position."

Sheldon gave a loud groan over his neighbor's incessant yammering. Sheldon moved to the doorway with the faux velvet half drapes and pushed one aside just to poke his head in and saw Penny watching the 70's porno on the TV with her head tilted. He swallowed at the shallow moans from the woman burying her face into the pillow as a Caucasian man with a corny mustache humped her from behind.

Penny shook her head and turned to walk towards him then turned to stand beside him, "They don't make that kind of video any more…"

Sheldon took a short step in and looked down at his neighbor, "What do you mean? Pornograph has not changed. One person having sex with one or multiple partners for the strict amusement and pleasure of the masses."

She didn't look up at him, just kept her eyes straight as she spoke as he watched her, "Nowadays, these videos are all about the man showing his power over the woman. It is a very disturbing fantasy for some men. Gripping his hand around her neck as if choking her while he bangs her mercilessly or grabbing the back of her head and shoving his penis into her throat… it's gotten too barbaric. But, look at that…" she gestures to the TV, now showing the woman on her back with the man slowly caressing her breasts while they kissed passionately, "… that turns me on more than anything. That's what men NEED to be fantasizing about."

Sheldon watched the porn and shook his head as Penny smiled then spoke again, "So… you've been here before."

Sheldon's eyes went wide and looked over at the blonde as if being caught in a lie, "Ex-Explain how you came to this conclusion."

She looked up at him over her shoulder, "You knew that door was gonna stick. Either you've been here before or your idiot memory has a new 'psychic' wave channel."

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "It is Eidetic. And, yes, I have shopped here long before meeting Leonard. I am a man, after all."

Penny moved around the small space as she shook her head in amusement as she thought to herself 'Are you sure about that'. She stops and let her fingers run over the tops of the DVD boxes and peeks over at him, "Alright... so, what's your favorite type of porn, Sheldon?" She pulls out a DVD with a black man on the cover with a very long and thick penis and she smiled, "I bet it's the ones with a big black cock." She wiggled her eyebrows and chuckled.

Sheldon nearly turned eight shades of red and hissed at her, "Do not SAY that word!"

Penny placed it back into its space and feigned shock, "What? Black… sorry. 'African American' cock. Better?"

Sheldon twitched horribly as his grip on his satchel's strap tightened but remained in place. He cleared his throat trying to calm himself down and attempted a moment of sarcasm, "Yes… that's MUCH better, thank you."

Penny moved around the small shelved closet and couldn't believe there were still so many. She might have to buy a few of these herself. She looked back at her obviously uncomfortable neighbor and grinned, "Still didn't answer my question, Sweetie. What's your favorite type of screw film?"

Sheldon's fingers flexed as he shook his head, "I remember the question perfectly, but denying you an answer. You have been mocking me all day and I do not wish to give you more ammo, so I shall stay silent on the matter."

Penny gave an over exaggerated frown but moved back beside him, "You know I only make fun of you because we're friends, right?"

Sheldon's brow furrowed and he looked down at her, "Why would friendship entail harassment?"

Penny turned to him and looked him in the eyes with a serious look, "People are being truthful when they're making fun of you, but friends do it more with love in their hearts. I make fun of you, yes, but I don't mean to do it with malice, you know that… right? It's how friends act together. Although, when YOU do the whole truth thing, you get all numbersie and almost spiteful, but we've been friends long enough for me to know that you don't do it with hate in your heart. You understand?"

Sheldon looked confused by the logic of her sentence, but understood she was conveying the point that she wasn't trying to mock him, just being 'friends', so he nodded, "I believe I understand."

She smiled and turned her head to watch the ending of the porn with the 'money shot' to the woman's face. Sheldon let out a childish 'yucky' that made Penny laugh. She looked over at him and saw nothing but an innocent little boy standing in the room of sin and couldn't believe he actually watched porno.

"Be real with me right now, Sheldon. Have you ever had sex before? With a REAL person?"

Sheldon didn't even bother looking over at her as he spoke plainly, "Of course not."

Penny shook her head. She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and scream 'HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE' to the almost 40 year old, but she just licked her lips, "Alright… that's fair… how about this? Have you ever fantasized about having sex with someone?"

Sheldon hesitated a bit, feeling uncomfortable, but answered the question regardless, "Of course."

Penny put her hands behind her back as the porno went to black and a new one started up, this one a little more up to date with upbeat music playing in the credits. She went to stand beside the TV wall and looked at him, "Tell me about it and I'll tell you about mine."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and gripped the strap again, "Why would I want to speak about this, Penny? Just because we're stuck inside this pit of pornography does not mean I wish to chat about yours or my private life."

Penny grinned, "Alright. Ok. That's fine. What DO you want to talk about?"

Sheldon's jaw tensed and he felt a small lash of anger strike his tongue, "I would like to discuss the fact that you and my roommate are no longer together. What Leonard has told me, you proposed to him and he rejected you. It was quite a turnabout don't you think? I half expected you to be in a bar; drinking your life away like you normally would, but instead… you are here, smiling and pretending that that event never existed. Let us talk about THAT."

Penny's face darkened from the TV's glare and her face fell as her eyes began to water. As he watched her, he knew immediately that his words were far too harsh. He swallowed deeply and opened his mouth to apologize, but she pushed off the wall and moved past him; back into the small hallway leading to the door. He could hear her fists beating on the door and her sniffling. He bent his head down and let out a huff of his sociable ignorance.

No one came to the door even as she pounded harder. Sheldon stepped inside the small space cautiously and watched the blonde wiping her face with the back of her arm in between knocks. He fingered the strap of his satchel and let in an inhale through his nose, "Penny… I-I…"

The blonde didn't stop pounding or even bothered to look back. He had hurt her with his words; the words that were not so filled with love. He was her friend and he let the anger escape, so he had to mend this break of their friendship he had caused. That meant he needed to present her with something... something he has never told a single person. He sighed and spoke softly, "My fantasy… I had always pictured having awoman on her knees with her rear in the air towards me, and I… enter her from behind. I grip her hips and get as deep as I can before leaning over and curling my arm underneath her to pull her up so that my chest and her back are pressed together. I fondle her breasts and making her moan as I begin to nibble the nape of her neck. I… I slide my hand down to wiggle my finger against her clitoris to make her climax… then I follow. N-now you?"

He didn't look at her the whole time, but he knew she was listening because the pounding on the door stopped. He knew he was blushing madly because the heat on his face was rising and intensifying. He dared a look up and saw her staring at him with her eyes red and still damp. Sheldon pursed his lips then spoke, "I'm sorry, Penny. I did not mean to be so hurtful."

Penny wiped a falling tear from her cheek with the back of her hand, "Your offering has pleased me."

He looked at her in confusion but saw her smile. They stood there for a moment before Sheldon raised his brow, "Now you..."

They ignored the constant whimpering of 'Fuck Yes' from the other room and Penny smiled and looked at the floor, "I always loved the idea of being blindfolded with my arms restrained. Every single touch, taste, and thrust is intensified. Add the sheeragony of not being able to reach out and touch my partner and…" she looked up at Sheldon and smiled, "… I'd cum like a loyal dog."

Sheldon swallowed, "You would climax because of nonphysical anguish? I do not see the relevance of such an ambiguous action."

Penny gave him an unreadable look. Even with her eyes puffy and her cheeks still damp she still looked alluring and he found himself holding his breath. She let out a laughing huff of air while bowing her head, "During any of your fantasies… have you ever thought about me?" As she spoke, she slowly raised her head to look up at him.

He felt a burning on his face again and his hand latched onto his strap, "I-I do not wish to discuss…"

She cut him off, "That's a yes…" she smiled a little mischievously, "… am I any good?"

He very much regretted starting this conversation because now he was stuck to answer. He avoided her gaze and stood up tall, "Ev-Everytime."

Penny's eyes widened a little and were shining in the barely lit cubby. They seemed to… wistful. She bowed her head slightly and smiled softly and barely whispered, "Oh Moonpie…"

He swallowed again, finding his throat to be dry for the question he had in mind, but spoke anyway, "Do you ever picture me?"

Her head bent back and she gave him a smile, "On a few occasions, yes."

He stood up straight and tightened his jaw, "I bet you picture me as an overly muscular Neanderthal; picking you up over my shoulder and spanking you with my wooden club in some way."

Penny let out a laugh she couldn't restrain. He looked at her with narrowed eyes and she cleared her throat still with a smile on her lips. Sheldon sniffed, "Is that a yes?"

Penny shook her head, "Not even close, Whackadoodle."

He furrowed his brows and couldn't help but picture his fantasy with Penny and sighed, "Then how do you see me?"

Penny's face got serious and she licked her lips. She walked right up to him and was only inches away. She stood on her tippy toes and her lips were only inches from his and she whispered superbly, "You're the one I can never touch."

Sheldon's heart, lungs, and brain ceased all function for only a moment by the hunger in the blonde's eyes. His eyes fell to her lips and she took in her bottom lip and let her top teeth gently graze it. He only needed to lean a few inches and she'd be his. He only leaned in one inch when suddenly; the two were joltedfrom one another as the door suddenly jerked open.

Penny fell back to her heels and sighed irritably then spun around to smile at the overweight man staring at them, "I wouldn't close that door if I were you."

She moved to exit through the door leaving Sheldon, shell-shocked. His body was tingling and smoldering from the longest minute of his life. He felt like a very bad friend to Leonard in that moment. He let out a huge groan as his body shivered then he jolted… Penny could give him a ride home! He burst through the door yelling out Penny's name… the fear of Ramona long since passed.