Thought this up at like 3 AM last night. Sorry if it's stupid. :)


The Doctor always wanted to learn how to knit. It had always been a secret wish of his. The way little old human ladies simply took two sticks and a ball of yarn and could make blankets and pieces of clothing-it was fascinating.

In fact, it was the Doctor's dying wish to learn to knit. To simply hold those needles and make magic with string.

When he had died and had been resurrected temporily on Karn, in his eighth incarnation, it was one of the first requests that had come out of his mouth: "Bring me knitting."

But the Time War had taken precedence. So, when he was about to face The Astronaut and the Silence, he made sure to pick up a proper manuel on the subject: Knitting For Girls. He had read it thoroughly, figuring how to tie slipknots and pearl and whatnot, but then all that silliness with River and the Teslecta happened, so he never really got around to the actual knitting.

But this time, in his twelfth form, come hell or high water, he was going to knit something.


"Well Doctor, where shall we go first?" asked Clara, now that the TARDIS had stabilized.

"Go? We're not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. You are free to explore as you like. However, I warn you, I parked us on Venus, so the moment you step outside you'll be crushed flat. And besides, the stench of sulfuric acid would never air out properly."

"Then what are we going to do?" said Clara.

"Well, I don't know about you, but..." The Doctor whipped out two long knitting needles and several balls of yarn. "I'm going to knit a scarf!"

As the Doctor set to making rows of yarn, Clara watched in disbelief. I think I'm starting to miss the bowtie and the silly hats.

Well, if the Doctor was going blow off time doing domestic stuff, Clara decided, then so was she. So she headed off the TARDIS's kitchen to take another stab at making the perfect soufflé.


Three days later...

"Doctor, look, this one's only a little burned on the side-" Clara nearly dropped her soufflé on the ground when she saw the Doctor sitting on the floor of the control room, surrounded by nearly three yards of striped knit scarf.

"Look, Clara! Isn't it marvelous?" The Doctor stood up, proudly modeling the fruits of his labors.

"Er...yes. Are you going to wear that?" she asked.

The Doctor grinned mischievously. "I already have."


"Doctor, I do believe I've just seen your TARDIS," said the Brigadier, walking into the Doctor's lab, carrying a large squishy package.

"Well of course you have, old chap." The third Doctor waved to the old blue box sitting in the corner. "She's sitting right there, as she always does."

"No, Doctor, I mean it materialized right in the middle of my office," said the Brig.

"That's impossible. It's been here the whole time."

"Well either way, a man came out and said to give this to you," said the Brigadier, handing the Doctor the package. "Said 'you'll thank me later' or something."

"Hm. Strange." The Doctor opened the package and pulled a very, very long scarf. "Very strange," he remarked. "Could never see myself wearing something like this. Oh well. Come along then, Brigadier. There's an interesting magician I want you to see with me..."


The newly regenerated fourth Doctor perused his wardrobe on board the TARDIS, looking for something to top off his new burgundy, Bohemian look. "What to wear, what to wear," he muttered. "Leather jacket? No. Converse sneakers? I don't think so. Bowtie? Dear God, no!"

Then, the Doctor spotted the ridiculously long scarf he had received only a few days ago. "Of course," he muttered, chuckling to himself. A handmade, eight foot long scarf with erratically colored stripes? What could be more Bohemian? He threw it on and wrapped it around his neck several times, yet it still dragged the ground. The Doctor laughed at himself... literally. "Ah, thank you, Doctor. Wherever you are."

"Hm," he said as he was exiting the wardrobe. "Suppose I'll have to learn how to knit now..."