A/N: Any idea what's going on? No? Join the club! :P
Part Two
The light was brighter – not a lot, just a bit. The figure was slightly more sharpened, but the Doctor still couldn't see any detail.
"Please, please talk to me," the woman was begging. "I came in here to beat this, but I need you, Doctor. Please. If you're here it means there's a bit of you still left, so please, fight it. Please say somethin'..."
"Rose!"
The word tore out of his mouth in a desperate yell, his entire body jerking abruptly, his arm shooting up to the sky as if desperately trying to reach someone.
Rose yelped from next to him, torn out of sleep. She sat up immediately, looking around in a panic until she saw him lying there with his hand outstretched, shaking badly.
"Doctor?" she said quickly diving on him to wrap her arms around him. He had tear tracks down his face again, his eyes wide and staring straight up at the ceiling. "Doctor!"
His eyes suddenly flickered to her, and immediately his hand dropped. "Rose?" he croaked.
"Doctor, talk to me."
"... Rose," he whispered, still staring up at her with tearful eyes – still not having blinked.
"Yeah, somethin' else?" she begged, brushing back his hair with the palm of her hand. He reached up to take it, pressing her fingers to his face.
"S-sorry," he stammered out.
"Bad dream?" she asked him.
He nodded, reaching up to wipe at his wet eyes.
"What about?"
"... I can't remember."
She sighed. "Not even a bit?"
He shook his head.
"It's okay," she said, holding him even tighter.
"I'm getting up," he said suddenly, pulling away from her and jumping to his feet, reaching for his shirt.
Rose glanced at the clock. "Don't be mad, it's 3am."
"I know, but I just... I don't want to go back to sleep," he said, pulling his shirt on.
"Stay here," she said, almost begging.
He glanced at her, lying there staring at him with those big doe eyes. He sighed, running his hands through his hair before dropping to sit back down on the bed.
"Lie down," she said, pressing a hand to his shoulder. Reluctantly he did, but remained absolutely tense as he stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. At least until she suddenly leant forward and kissed him deeply, a hand creeping under the bottom of his shirt.
He stiffened slightly, in more areas than he'd care to admit. His eyes snapped straight to her as she pulled away from kissing him, gazing deeply at him.
"Okay?" she asked gently.
He swallowed, trying desperately to suppress all of the processes his body seemed to want to do as her hand remained where it was, frozen in place until he answered the question.
"I've..." he began, but the word barely came out, seemingly caught in his throat. So he cleared his throat and tried again. "I've... I've never... never done... this before."
"I know," she interrupted softly.
"I've only... I've only ever been with you."
"I know," she repeated with just as much softness.
"I don't... know..."
"I know," she said for the third time. Her hand still hadn't moved; her cool fingers flexing slightly on his burning skin. He suddenly needed to breath a lot more, and he could feel his body shaking, not even with any kind of pleasure yet – just the anticipation alone was enough. "Do you want to?" she continued in a whisper. "I'll stop if you just say."
"... It's okay."
"Sure?"
"Yeah..."
Her hand moved down.
Christmas arrived like a sledgehammer to the face. Before he knew it, the Doctor was sitting on the sofa watching the EastEnders Christmas Special bored out of his skull.
Rose was sat next to him, or rather, asleep on him, and Jackie was staring intently at the television with her glass of Lambrini just about to slip from her fingers – utterly gripped by what was happening in front of her. Thankfully the end came sooner rather than later and Rose finally stirred, lifting her head from his chest as Jackie ran off to the kitchen to pour another drink.
"All right?" he asked quietly, an arm still wrapped around her.
She nodded, stretching like a little kitten and yawning at the same time. "Eastenders over?"
He nodded, brushing back her hair from her eyes. She caught his hand in mid-movement, gazing at him.
"What?" he asked indignantly.
She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She frowned, sitting up and looking at the door.
"Nine thirty on Christmas Day? Someone's got a nerve," she said, getting up. The Doctor kept a hawk eye on her as she opened the door and he saw a man standing there – dark hair, well presented with smart but slightly eccentric clothes and thick-framed glasses.
"Can I help you?" Rose asked as the Doctor tensed a little, ready to dart to her aid if need be.
"Is John Smith living here?" the man asked, looking past Rose to the Doctor still sat on the sofa, before quickly looking back at her.
Rose stepped sideways to obscure his view inside. "Who wants to know?"
The man held up what looked like a letter. "This letter is for John Theta Smith on this exact date, on his 21st birthday."
"You're kiddin'," Rose said disbelievingly, stretching a hand out to take the letter, but the man pulled it away.
"I needs to be delivered personally," he insisted. "Straight into his hands."
Rose turned back to the Doctor, but he was already on his feet and at the door.
"I'm John Theta Smith," he said, holding out his hand.
The man looked at him – and suddenly the Doctor froze, frowning slightly as something stopped him dead. The way the man was looking at him... the way the Doctor felt. Like something had suddenly connected them together, latched onto them both... And this feeling, overwhelming feeling, that there was something he needed to get back to, someone he needed to get back to...
The man's eyes disconnected, and abruptly the feeling left the Doctor. The man held out the letter, his eyes fixed to the ground.
"John, please take it," he said, thrusting it into John's hands. He then bowed, and walked away to the stairwell.
The Doctor looked at Rose, who shrugged and closed the door.
"What was that about?" Jackie asked as Rose turned back, the Doctor pulling open the letter.
Rose just raised a finger to her lips, inclining her head at the Doctor as he began to read.
John Theta Smith
To be delivered on 25th December 2006
Dear John,
I write this to you on the very day you were born, and I intend to get it delivered to you on your your 21st birthday. I hope it finds you well.
There is something that you must know, which I am sorry I could not tell you in person. This may be shocking, but I am telling you the absolute truth.
By now you will have noticed that you are not like other people. You are physically different, and intellectually far superior to people around you. You have probably wondered why this is. There is a very simple explanation - one which I don't expect you to immediately accept, but I hope you will in time.
Your father was not a human. He was a Gallifreyan, from a planet far away and superior to ours. I have been there, I travelled with him as his companion around the universe for several years before we married. Our wedding was on a beautiful planet called Larea Minor, I wore red and he wore blue. When I discovered I was pregnant with you, we were immediately pursued, and we decided to give up travelling and stayed on my home planet to keep you safe until you grew up.
However, we are both no longer with you. I am sorry that you have had to endure that pain, and that this comes to you in written form. I understand this will be hard to take in, you may even call me mad, but I beg you to indulge me and open your mind.
If my arrangements are correct, also arriving with this letter will be your father's most prized possession - his spaceship. It's called a TARDIS; which stands for time and relative dimensions in space. It is now yours. But you will have to find the key yourself.
Whether you choose to accept this or not, I wish you a wonderful, happy life, and always remember that we both love you, even if we are only in your dreams.
Astrid Rose Penelope Smith, John Ulysses Koschei Smith
PS: The man that delivered this letter was your father. Did I mention? The TARDIS also travels in time.
Rose and Jackie barely had time to blink before the Doctor was out of the door, the letter dropping redundantly onto the carpet.
The Doctor emerged into the cold Christmas night air, throwing himself at the balcony wall and scouring everywhere for the man.
"FATHER!" he screamed down through the estate, trying desperately to see where he had gone. He wasn't there, so the Doctor ran to the stairwell and dove through the door, skipping five steps at a time to get down as quickly as he could...
He emerged at the bottom, but there was still utterly no sign of the man.
"FATHER!" he yelled again, tears prickling at the edge of his eyes. "I don't understand!"
Suddenly he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye – something big and blue. He turned his head to find a tall blue box with the word POLICE written on it...
He was back in that non-place again, the figure in the distance closer and sharper than ever before. Even as she spoke she was louder, her pronunciation better...
"You're gettin' more frequent, that means you're winnin'. Please say somethin'," the woman begged him.
He couldn't get a single word out, no matter how hard he tried to make his voice-box hum and his mouth form words...
"I think you can hear me, so here's the plan. The TARDIS has implanted herself into your vision with a made up story that your vision self might believe. But you don't have a key to open her. You need to want that key, Doctor. You want to have to leave that world. Just open the TARDIS door and you'll be back here in reality, okay? Please try. We need you so badly."
"Rose," he suddenly got out exactly the same moment his brain exploded with pain. He cried out, holding his head as tears were suddenly cascading down his face.
"It's okay, the pain's good, I promise, it's fine. It means you're comin' back here. Stay with me, okay? Keep talkin' to me."
"I... don't... under... stand..." he managed to get out as his head continued to scream with pain, blinding him...
"I'm real. Everythin' else is a dream. Whatever world you're in, it's not real. Please trust me. I'm real. The weed is gonna try everythin' to keep you there, but you've gotta resist..."
"You're a dream, you're a dream, you're a dream," he continually repeated under his breath, forcing her away. The more he did that, the less his head hurt...
"I'm not a..."
"John?"
John snapped awake, finding himself on the sofa in the flat with Rose poking his shoulder. The credits for Eastenders were rolling, and Jackie was getting up to refill her glass of Lambrini.
"Did you just..." he began, but quickly stopped himself as he realised that must have all been a dream. But it was very vivid – cut clear inside his head – every single detail...
"Did you have another nightmare?" Rose asked, stroking his cheek.
"... I don't know," the Doctor replied truthfully. It hadn't felt like a nightmare.
"What was it about?" she asked.
"Can't remember," he lied. He didn't want to tell her about it. She'd just think he was going completely mad. Maybe he was. "Just gonna get some air."
And with that, he quickly left for the door, emerging onto the balcony and closing the door behind him. He leant forward on the wall, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he desperately tried to sort out his crazy head.
"Doctor?"
He spun around in alarm at the sudden voice behind him, finding Rose standing there looking very concerned.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"Fine," he replied quickly, pulling a very forced smile.
"You're really not a very good liar," she said seriously, pulling him forward to kiss him, softly and fully on the lips. "Tell me what's goin' on."
He swallowed, his eyes flickering to the ground, then the door, then a piece of chewing gum stuck on the wall. Anywhere but her. "You'll think I'm mad."
She laughed at that. "I already think you're mad. What is it?"
"I..." His eyes flew up again, seeing the door was ajar and Jackie could be listening.
She followed his gaze, and took the hint. She stepped back and ducked her head in through the gap. "We're goin' for a walk! Back later!"
She didn't even wait for a reply, closing the door, taking his hand and leading him to go down into the street.
He told her everything, every last detail of the dream still clearly etched in his mind. Absolutely nothing was faded this time – it was so clear, he could even remember when in the dream he'd breathed.
Rose just listened, not uttering a word until he'd finished.
"So," Rose began, struggling to work it out in her head as she wrapped her coat tighter around her. "I'm just in your imagination, and this weed that's attackin' your spaceship right now has made me so you'll stay here with me and not go back to save this girl, and now your ship has taken over her mind, the weed has yours and now there's some kinda fight going on... Then also your spaceship is here in this world and you need to want to leave this world for the door to open?"
The Doctor blinked slightly. Hearing it out loud made it sound so much more ridiculous. "I don't believe it," he said quickly.
"Hope not," she said, before musing for a moment. "... Isn't there a bit of you that does, though?"
He pulled a face. He couldn't lie to her. "Well... Maybe. I don't... I'm not like everyone else. The way I think, the way my body is, I just..." he paused, swallowing and dropping his gaze to the floor. "It would explain so much..."
"Okay, stop," Rose said immediately, turning to rest her hands on his shoulders and pulling him to look at her. "Look at me."
He did, frowning. "What?"
"What we did the other night. If you're right, if this other me really does exist in this spaceship and this is all in your head, are you sayin' that when we made love it was just your imagination?"
He swallowed. "Umm... I... I'm not... but..."
She cut off his stammers by leaning forward and placing her lips on his, her tongue slipping inside his mouth. She took his face in both hands with soft, gentle hands, holding him in place as she continued her adventure inside his mouth. It was twenty seconds until she pulled back and smiled.
"Am I still a dream?" she asked quietly, still cupping his face.
"More like a nightmare," the Doctor replied seriously, and she immediately dropped her hands.
"Oi!" she remarked, laughing.
"No," he continued, just as seriously as before, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "I love you. That's not a dream. I know that's real. I love you."
She beamed and pecked him another kiss. "I know, I love you too," she said.
"There's just one thing that I don't understand."
"What?"
"If you're real, and this world is real, and all my dreams are just dreams and therefore aren't real at all, then why is that there?" he asked, and pointed over her shoulder.
She turned to find a big blue telephone box standing just ten metres away.
She had no idea what to say to that.
"Do you wanna leave?" she suddenly asked.
He was startled by the question. "No, I want to stay with you."
"Good."
"Think I'm mad yet?" he asked seriously.
She turned back to him with her ever lovely smile. "Of course, but I still love you. Forgot the phone box. You probably saw it earlier without realisin' and you dreamt about it, yeah?"
"... Yeah," he eventually said, nodding. That sounded right. Very right...
"You're further away," the woman said, sounding panicked. "No, you were gettin' closer. Please, Doctor..."
"You're not real."
"I am," she said desperately.
"I'm not leaving," he grated.
"You have to."
"Get out of my head!" he yelled, taking another step back.
"No!" she shouted back. "I'm not lettin' you just give up! You never give up!"
It was only then he recognised the voice.
"You're Rose!" he suddenly realised, his eyes shooting open in alarm, stepping forward again. The image of her suddenly sharpened, to such a degree he could pull out recognisable facial features.
"Yeah, yeah I'm Rose, I'm your companion, I travel with you. You save the Universe, and me. I really, really need you to save me now. Can you remember me?"
"Do you love me?"
There was a brief pause. "... W-what?" came back the stammer.
"I love my Rose, she loves me. Do you love me?"
"I can't..."
"You don't, do you?"
"I didn't say..."
"If my world isn't real then I know what is. The love I have for you is real."
"Oh my god," she whispered.
"Why would I leave a world where Rose loves me back to one where she doesn't?"
"I can't..."
"Get out of my dreams!" he shouted, stepping away again.
"No!" she shouted back. "I'm not leavin' till you're safe!"
"I am safe! I'm safe and happy here! Just leave me alone and I'd be a lot happier!"
She suddenly fell very quiet. For a moment he thought she might have given up,until he heard a small, shaky voice.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"What?"
"Please don't make me hurt you."
"You're gonna hurt me!?"
"The weed's made you the enemy," she continued quietly. "It's grown right inside your body, into your brain. It's controllin' you inside out, and you're stuck, the real you I mean, he's stuck inside that stupid airhead brain you've got right now, still alive. But the weed knows the TARDIS would never hurt you, and the weeds usin' that. The TARDIS would rather be taken over by the weeds than hurt you. So... I promised her I would."
"You're going to kill me."
"Please," she begged, clearly now in tears. "Just come back, just leave, cos... I can't do that. Not even to save the universe... Not you. Please, I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't believe you, I don't believe anything you're saying!" he shouted immediately, tense. "If you were me what would you believe!?"
She didn't answer that, just sobbing. "Its completely got you, hasn't it?"
"Nothing's got me!"
"I'm so sorry."
"What for?"
She raised her arm, and before he could even register what she was doing there was a loud bang, startling him. He was just about to look around to see what it had been when he suddenly felt something warm on his belly. He looked down to see what it was.
Blood.
Slightly confused and dazed he looked up to her, and saw her holding a gun with tears rolling down her face.
She'd shot him.
"Rose...?" he whined, his voice breaking as he collapsed to the floor. The pain was strangely distant, as though not really part of him, but he still couldn't be able to seem to move as he watched his own blood pool out onto the surface beneath him, redder than any blood he'd ever seen before.
"I'm sorry," Rose gasped in-between her tears. "I love you."
"Rose," he gasped, unable to find any words to put in a sentence that made any sense in his head. His brain felt like a balloon. What was happening? "Help... me..."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she gasped again. Why was she apologising?
He was...
They were...
The Doctor woke up, tears staining his face badly. He looked to his left, but Rose was still fast asleep next to him, completely oblivious. She looked even more beautiful when she slept.
It was a dream. Just a dream.
He wiped at his eyes, making to turn over to hold Rose closer to him when a sudden, horrific pain shot through this stomach. He gargled out a cry, frozen in mid-roll as he realised...
"No, no, no..." he whispered, holding out a shaking hand to the cover...
He pulled It back to reveal he and the sheets were absolutely coated in blood. His own blood. Blood from a wound in his stomach...
He couldn't help but scream, then. His entire body was shaking, wracked with pain and shock at the hole in his stomach. Wasn't it supposed to be a dream?
It wasn't. It really, really wasn't. Dream Rose was real, and he was stuck, stuck inside his own head as the weed slowly but surely took over him and his entire beloved ship...
He had to get back to the TARDIS.
But before he could move, suddenly the pain abruptly stopped, and he looked up to find Rose was sitting up, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"Stop it," he demanded. "Stop using her image."
She just smiled at that. Every millimetre of it was genuine.
"Am I talking to you now?" he continued. "The weed that's in my ship?"
"Yes."
"Well, I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you. Get out of my head."
"Do you really want that?"
"Yes!"
"Think again."
"There's nothing to think about," he retorted rudely. "Let you live inside my own head whilst you take me TARDIS and grow all over the entire universe? I've worked out this world isn't real, and I want to leave."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I..." Suddenly the Doctor stopped dead in his thought track as he realised... "... Wait. This was never about me questioning whether it's real or not. It was never about deceiving me. It's a question of whether I want to stay..."
"Live here for an eternity," the Weed said, nodding. "Be happy. What I do to your ship and with your body is irrelevant. You will never know. You'll get to live this life, with her, for as long as you are happy."
The Doctor swallowed. "But there's one thing you've forgotten."
"I've forgotten nothing."
"Rose and my TARDIS are still there. I'd be abandoning them. You'll kill them."
"But they're here, here with you. They'll never leave. You'll live the perfect life with Rose – the one you'd have if only you were capable. And now you are."
"But they're not real."
"They are better than real."
He swallowed, searching the covers of the bed as if looking for an answer. "So you want me to live like this inside my own mind, while you take every other bit of me and use it for your own gain?"
"Yes."
"Or I could just beat you, save Rose, and get my ship back."
"And go back to your previous life? Wracked with guilt, unspoken love and the only certainty being that one day she will die, either covered in blood or old and withered? I'm giving her immortality. I'm giving you the best life you will ever have. I will give you a wonderful story to live, I will write every line, I will give you sadness to make the happiness greater. You can marry her, I can give you what you have now – the TARDIS, infinite travel across time and space, without the risk of death. I will care for you, Time Lord. From now until your body dies. I can erase your memory of your previous existence. You can be happy... forever."
"Happy and oblivious."
"I'm inside your head, Time Lord. I've grown through your ears and into your brain. I can see every detail of your memories, every thought you've ever had. They're harrowing. How can you stand with such a heavy weight on your shoulders? I can get rid of that... Forever."
He stared at her, but didn't reply.
"Make your choice, Time Lord."
To be continued in "Bodies"...
A/N: And what's going to happen next? Search me. I've called it Bodies, so it must be something about that. Or something. I'm confused. I need a lie down.
Laura