Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a book of the same title by Radclyffe. I do not own this work of fiction or any of the story or characters in this, nor the original Safe Harbor and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.

Chapter Fifteen

'Are you just getting up, or haven't you been to bed yet?' Miyuki asked as she walked out onto the rear deck. Nanoha was hunched over in a canvas deck chair, her feet curled up under her. Jed lay beside her, asleep. The dawn was moments old; the tentative shafts of sunlight had yet to dispel the clouds that hung over the harbor. Miyuki placed a cup of coffee in her sister's hand and pulled a chair up beside her. She stretched her legs up to the rail and waited.

Nanoha sipped the hot brew gratefully, shifting from her cramped position. She must have been there for hours, but she couldn't recall now what she had been thinking. 'What time is it?' Nanoha asked at length.

'A little after five.'

Nanoha groaned. 'So soon?'

'I take it you've been out here all night?'

'Not all of it. I had a call at about one.'

Miyuki studied her in silence. The dark circles under her eyes weren't just from a few hours lost sleep. She had sensed something amiss with her sister since the moment she arrived.

'What's going on, Nanoha?' she asked gently.

Nanoha's instinctive reaction was to deny any problem. She was horrified to feel her eyes brim with tears. She was just so damn tired - of sleeping alone, of waking alone, of being alone! She passed a trembling hand across her face, desperately searching for composure.

'Talk to me, Nanoha. Please!' Miyuki implored.

'I don't know where to start,' Nanoha managed.

'Is it work? You know you could use some help here -'

Nanoha shook her head. 'No. I wish it were. That I know how to handle.'

'You're starting to scare me, sis,' Miyuki said softly. 'You're not sick, are you?'

'No! No, I'm fine.' She laughed a little shakily. 'Actually, I'm a mess, but I'm not sick. Its -oh, God- how can I explain this? It's a woman. I mean, I've met this woman, and -and I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do!'

Miyuki regarded her intently. 'How long has it been, Nanoha? Since there's been someone?'

Nanoha fought back tears again. She fixed her gaze on the harbour, willing away the memories. 'Four years - since Arisa left me.'

'I still want to kill her!' Miyuki muttered.

'God, I don't want to do this again!' Nanoha cried.

'How serious is it?'

'I don't know! I don't know anything! I'm not even positive she's gay!'

Miyuki blew out a breath. 'That tall, gorgeous cop.'

Nanoha looked at her in surprise. 'How did you know?'

Her sister shrugged. 'Because for a minute there she made me wish I were gay. She's charming, and sexy as hell. And because I saw the two of you dancing. She held you like you meant something to her. She held you like she cared.'

'Oh, Jesus,' Nanoha sobbed, 'now you have made me cry!'

Miyuki got up to search for tissues, and returned with the entire pot of coffee. 'Here,' she said, handing Nanoha the box of Kleenex. She poured them both more coffee, letting Nanoha shed the tears she needed to.

'Have you slept with her?' Miyuki asked when Nanoha regained her composure.

'No,' Nanoha admitted softly.

'Want to?'

'I hurt, I want her so badly.'

'Jesus, god, Nanoha - does she know?'

Nanoha shrugged. 'Not exactly. I didn't want to admit it to myself, and then last night –' Her voice faltered as the memory of Fate's touch stirred her like a caress.

'What!? Last night what?'

'She kissed me. I mean, we kissed - '

Miyuki expelled another long sigh. 'That ought to be some indication she's gay, don't you think?' she queried with just a hint of laughter in her voice. Her laughter died as a haunted look flickered across her sister's face.

'Nanoha,' she said gently, 'tell me what's really happening here.'

Nanoha's hands clenched around the clay mug while she struggled for words. Haltingly she gave voice to her fears.

'I haven't wanted anyone in so long. I don't mean sex.' She looked away, blushing. 'Although come to think of it, I haven't wanted that either. I've made a good life for myself here. I've been happy. Now all I can think about is her. I can't look at her without wanting to touch her. It's like I'm another person. I don't even recognize myself! Then, when she kissed me! It's as if I was suddenly living someone else's life! All I've been able to think about was how she made me feel, how her breath brushed against my neck, how her hands seemed to reach inside of me. I'm losing my mind!'

She stared at her sister, her expression agonized. 'What if it doesn't mean anything to her, Miyuki? What if it's all a mistake? How will I bury all these feelings again?'

Miyuki slid her chair closer, removing the cup from her sister's unconscious grasp. She took Nanoha's hands in hers.

'Nanoha - honey, you've been sleep walking the last four years. You think you've been happy, but it's more like you've been numb. Those of us who love you know that. I don't know a thing about this woman, but for her to move you like this - there has got to be something there. I don't know if she deserves someone as wonderful as you, or even if she has the good sense to know how lucky she is that you want her. But I could kiss her myself for making you feel this way. God knows, I never want to see you hurt again, but Nanoha! You're not in someone else's life. You've just come back to your own!'

'I don't know if I want these feelings, Miyuki,' Nanoha whispered. 'I'm afraid to trust her, afraid that I'll be wrong again. I trusted Arisa completely, and I was so wrong!'

Miyuki smiled sadly. 'Some things we can't chose, Nanoha. Sometimes, our life just finds us.'

Nanoha was silent a long time. At last she gave her sister a tremulous smile. 'I sound like a lunatic, don't I?'

Miyuki laughed. 'You sound like a woman mad with lust! What are you going to do?'

Nanoha grimaced. 'I wish I knew. I'm almost afraid to see her again. I'm afraid I might have imagined last night. And I'm just as terrified that I didn't!'

Miyuki chose her next words carefully. 'Are you in love with her?'

'I can't think about that, Miyuki, I really can't.'

'You might want to before you sleep with her.'

'I know,' Nanoha whispered softly.

'Tea! Wait a minute after class, will you,' Fate asked when she and the teenager finished their training.

Teana looked uneasy, but nodded her assent. She followed Fate through the breeze way to the house.

'Sit down,' Fate said, gesturing to the stool by the counter. She poured them both orange juice and took a seat next to her student.

'Tea,' she began, 'has anyone been hassling you, or any of your friends?'

'What do you mean?' Teana mumbled, uncertain of the conversation, still uncertain of any adult. And as fair as Fate had been, she still worked with her brother!

'Is anybody giving you a hard time about being gay?'

Teana snorted in disgust. 'Shouldn't you be asking who hasn't hassled us?'

'How? What are they doing?'

She wasn't yet ready to believe that Fate was really on her side, as much as she wanted her to be. She tried so hard to be strong, especially when Subaru was with her. She had to be able to stand up for them, didn't she? Deep inside she feared that if Subaru saw her uncertainty, and her vulnerability, she would leave her. Tea looked at Fate directly for the first time. Fate just looked back at her with eyes filled with concern. Teana took a deep breath, and took a chance. Sometimes it was just too hard to be alone.

'Most of the kids at school who know about us just avoid us. All of a sudden, we don't get invited anywhere any more. Some of them make noises when we walk by, or call us names under their breath. Nothing you can really call them on. They just make it real clear that we don't belong. There's not that many of us - at least not that I know about. Some of the guys are pretty obvious. You know, kind of faggoty. A couple of them have been beat up.'

'Who beat them up?' Fate asked, her voice like flint.

Teana shrugged. 'Some of the jocks. They were mostly showing off, I think.'

'Has anyone bothered you?'

She looked away, shaking her head noncommittally.

'Tea?' Fate persisted gently.

'Not exactly. There's a guy who had the hots for my girlfriend. He tried to push me around once.'

Fate forced down the surge of anger. 'What happened?'

'I kicked him in the balls.'

Fate would have smiled if the situation weren't so serious, and so intolerable.

'And that was that?'

Teana shrugged again, her expression nonchalant. 'So far.'

'Have you heard of anyone being followed, or threatened by a bunch of guys in a truck?'

'No.' Teana stared at her suspiciously. 'What's going on?'

'I'm not sure anything is going on,' Fate admitted. 'Two boys were bothered last night by some men in a drive by thing. I'm not sure it was because the kids were gay. But it worries me. Ask around among your friends. If there's gay bashing going on, I want to know.'

'Why?' Teana asked bitterly.

'Because I won't have it in my town,' Fate said darkly.

'Yeah, well, you're the only one then.'

'I don't think so, Tea. There are plenty of people who wouldn't tolerate it, your brother included.'

'He's said the only reason the gays and lesbians are welcome here is because it's so good for business!' Teana exclaimed.

'Maybe he did say that, Tea, but that doesn't mean he feels that way himself!'

Fate could tell the young woman remained unconvinced, but she needed to get her message across. 'Tea, I want you and your friends to be careful. And I need you all to help me out. If you see or hear of anything happening, please tell me. And you've all got to stay out of the dunes at night.'

Teana's face set in defiance. 'Right.'

'Tea -'

The teenager stood suddenly, her dark eyes flashing. 'You don't get it, do you? You act like you do, but you don't. I want to be able to kiss my girlfriend, okay? That's what it's about - out there in the dunes – it's about making love with the person you love. Do you think my brother would understand that? What I want to do with my girlfriend? Do you understand?' She turned away, a cry escaping. 'If I can't make a place for us, we can't be together!'

Fate laid her hand on the young woman's shoulder, meaning only to offer some comfort. She was shocked when Teana turned to her, burying her face against Fate's chest. Tea was sobbing like a child, but Fate knew she wasn't. She didn't need to have experienced it herself to believe that Tea and Subaru were in love. And she had an idea what that meant for a girl like her. Teana would need to feel that she deserved Subaru's devotion, and she would need to feel that she could protect her. Fate hesitated for only a second, then she gently folded the trembling youth in her arms.

'I do understand, Tea,' she whispered, rocking her softly. 'I understand exactly how you feel.' She had only to think of Nanoha to know how true her words were. Would she do anything differently were she in Tea's place? 'Just give me a chance to keep you safe - please. Just give me a little time.'

Teana drew a shaky breath, then stepped away self-consciously. 'I'll talk to my friends. Tell them what you said. Okay?'

Fate nodded, 'It's a start. I appreciate it, Tea. Thanks.'

Teana studied her shyly. 'I guess you won't tell me if you're gay, huh? Some kind of teacher thing.'

Fate recalled Alto asking her the same thing, and her inability to give an honest answer. She thought she had a clearer answer now.

'Think of it as a cop thing,' she responded lightly. 'But you can believe me when I tell you I know what you're feeling about Subaru, okay?'

Teana grinned. 'I guess that's answer enough.'

Fate grinned back. 'Get out of here. I've got to go to work.'

Teana glanced at the clock as she headed for the door. 'I guess Nanoha's not coming today, huh?'

Fate knew without looking that it was well past the time for Nanoha to have arrived. She had known for some time now, she just didn't know what it meant.