There was no possible way Vance could read through this file any slower, even if he tried.
"We're close, Director," Tony said, trying to move things along. He snuck a covert glance at his watch. "Real close. We know the killer is involved in the poker tournaments."
"Anyone you like in particular?"
"O'Connor is still running alibis- we have about a hundred of them. I thought the Victorino guy was acting kind of shady when I questioned him. Everyone has been instructed not to leave town, though."
The director nodded as he turned the page. Tony began to tap his feet against the floor- quietly, he thought, until Vance raised his eyebrows. "Are you in a hurry, Agent DiNozzo?"
"Uh. Sorry. It's just- it's five, Ziva is leaving, and-"
"Go talk to your wife," Vance ordered, shutting the case file and handing it back. "I was supposed to call mine half an hour ago."
Tony wasted no time in heading for the door. "Thank you, sir," he called over his shoulder. He rushed out of the office and down the stairs; he returned to the bullpen just in time to see Ziva stepping out from behind her desk, ready to head home for the day.
"Hey," he said, surreptitiously running a hand over her hip as he fell into step beside her. "I was afraid I'd miss you. I had to brief Vance."
"You are staying late again, then?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry." The serial killer they were after was a ticking time bomb- he had to be caught before he claimed another victim, but man, did Tony wish this were somebody else's job. He had barely been home in the past seventy-two hours. Ziva had said that their three year old daughter kept asking about him. When his girls called him at Azalea's bedtime so she could say goodnight, the desire to be at home with them became so overwhelming he could've cried.
When they reached the elevator, he looked around to make sure nobody else was nearby before asking quietly, "Is this the last day you're ovulating?"
"Yes."
Tony groaned and rubbed his face. By all counts, this case had not come along at a good time. "I'll try to be home by ten, okay?"
"If you are too tired, we don't have to," Ziva said sympathetically, patting his chest. "We can put it off another month."
"No, no. Let's not do that. One month will become one year, one year will become two, and then it'll never happen. Prepare your eggs to be fertilized tonight, Mrs. DiNozzo."
Jaw agape, she punched him in the arm. He yelped loudly. "You have an awful lot of faith in your sperm," she quipped, hitting the down button on the elevator. "I certainly hope they can handle the pressure."
"Oh, they can."
The doors slid open. Ziva quickly pressed her lips against his and then stepped into the elevator. Pushing aside their very unprofessional conception jokes, Tony said, "Give Azalea a kiss for me."
"I will."
"Love you."
"You, too."
She smiled at him as the doors closed, and he was left standing there, alone, with nothing to do but return to his desk.
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When Tony finally got home, it was nearly eleven and the house was dark. He unceremoniously dropped his backpack on the ground and kicked his shoes off, then headed up the stairs. Azalea's room was the first off of the landing. Guided by the glow of her nightlight, he made his way to the side of her bed. Seeing her quiet and still was always sort of strange, as it was an event that only occurred while she slept. He smoothed her curls away from her face and kissed her on both cheeks.
"Night, Aza," he whispered. She shifted, but did not wake. Tony tugged the blanket up to her chin and tucked her stuffed bunny more securely beneath her arm. "Daddy loves you."
After shutting her door softly behind him, he walked quietly to the master bedroom, expecting Ziva to be asleep, too. Instead, he found her reading a book by the light of a lamp.
"Hey," Tony said, surprised. "You waited up."
"I was not tired." She maintained focus on her book for a few seconds more, then folded down the top corner of the page and set it aside. "How is the case coming?"
With a loud groan, he flopped dramatically onto the bed. The softness of the mattress and comforter had never seemed so enticing. His eyelids already felt heavy. "Gotta be back there at oh seven hundred."
Ziva hummed sympathetically as she curled into his side and began rubbing his stomach. "Tony, honestly. We do not have to do this tonight."
His brain was so fried that he had no idea what she was talking about at first. "Oh, right. I forgot we're supposed to have sex."
When he looked over at her, her jaw was practically on the ground. "You forgot about sex? You really are exhausted."
Tony made a face. Ziva chuckled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He tugged lightly at the ends of her hair, damp from a shower. "We can go ahead and do it."
"Tony, you are-"
"I'm fine, Ziva. Just, uh… if you could be on top, do the work, that'd be great."
She rolled her eyes. He thought she was going to turn her back and order him to go to sleep, but instead she reached for the hem of her shirt and tugged it off in one fluid motion. Bare from the waist up, she batted her eyes innocently.
"Yeah, yeah," he said, suddenly finding the energy to launch himself at her. With her body pinned beneath his, he began sweeping kisses across her face, down her neck, along her shoulders. Her small noises of pleasure were more than enough to egg him on. "I'm awake."
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Two weeks later, Tony received a text message from Ziva in the middle of the work day. He opened it and found nothing but a dot, a single punctuation mark. A period.
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The prospect of having a second child had been brought up several times over the years, but they never made any actual plans until three months prior, when Azalea went to her friend's house for a play date and came home gushing about Paige's baby brother. As she went on and on, Tony caught Ziva's eye. She stared back at him, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. He knew what she was thinking, because she had worried about it before: was Azalea being deprived by not having a sibling?
That night, after their daughter was asleep, they discussed the matter over decaf coffee. The conversation lasted hours. They talked about Azalea; they talked about themselves. They talked about finances, the house, their jobs. As the clock approached midnight, Tony took a long sip of his coffee- long enough to think about his next words- and then plunked the mug back down. "I say we go for it," he declared.
Ziva studied him for a long moment before a small grin formed on her lips. "Agreed."
After all that time spent in discourse, the conclusion seemed to come rather simply. However, the conception did not. It was, perhaps, naïve of them to think that getting pregnant again would be just as easy as the first time. Ziva was in her late thirties now. Tony's backaches had grown so frequent that he took daily medication. They were young and healthy enough to chase a preschooler around, but nothing could erase the four years of age they had gained since conceiving Azalea in the back of their car.
He wanted another baby. So did Ziva. But, secretly, the mere thought of having a newborn in the house again made him tired, and the longer the ordeal of trying went on, the more he began to doubt their decision.
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When Tony arrived home after picking Azalea up from daycare, Ziva was already in the kitchen making dinner. She greeted them cheerfully, but her smile did not reach her eyes. Tony waited until Azalea had settled herself at the table with a coloring book before going to stand behind his wife. He wound his arms around her middle and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. "Are you okay?"
Ziva sniffed. "Yes."
He swayed slightly as he continued to hold her. This was now the third month that they had tried and failed to conceive, but the first time she had been markedly upset about it. "Better luck next time, huh?"
"I am beginning to think that this is not going to happen," Ziva replied.
"Hey. Come on." Moving his hands up to her shoulders, he massaged gently, trying to ease the tension evident in her muscles. "It's gonna happen."
"Mommy," Azalea announced suddenly, "I made you somethin' at school today!" Before either of her parents could respond, she had jumped down from her chair and darted out of the room. "Be right back!"
Ziva started to follow. "She is going to empty her backpack on the floor and make a mess."
"I'll clean it up," Tony said quickly, keeping her anchored in front of him. She looked like she was going to protest, but, mercifully, chose to shut her mouth instead. "Listen. The way we've been doing this… squeezing sex in whenever Azalea's asleep and we're both home from work and we're not too tired… it's not consistent. And it's always rushed; we can never just take our time. So how about we go on a little mini-vacation?"
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "We'll have Gibbs watch her for a weekend, find a nice hotel around here, and never leave the room. It'll be two days of nothing but baby-making activity."
For the first time since he got home, a ghost of a smile played on Ziva's lips. She wound her arms around his neck and gave him a chaste kiss. "I do like that idea," she murmured.
"Good." He, too, found himself grinning as he flashed forward to their little getaway. The pitter-patter of Azalea's light footsteps signaled her return to the kitchen. Quickly, he gave Ziva one more peck for good measure. "Don't worry your pretty little head about this, sweet cheeks. Everything is gonna be just fine."
Ziva nodded. She slipped out of his grip as Azalea came running up to them, waving some pipe-cleaner contraption that he thought was supposed to be a flower. Ziva crouched down to their daughter's level and accepted the craft with a gasp of admiration. Beaming proudly, Azalea said, "It's just for you!"
"Thank you, Aza. It is beautiful. I love it." The unconditional love of a three year old seemed to be the perfect solution for Ziva's dejection. She pressed her lips against Azalea's cheek and tucked the flower behind her own ear. "Would you like to help me finish our dinner?"
"Yeah, yeah," Azalea said. Ziva stood and settled the little girl on her hip. Tony watched as they leaned over the open pot on the stove, their identical dark eyes appraising the soup critically. His wife was beautiful, their daughter a combination the best parts of her mother and father. He loved his girls. He adored them. And for the first time, it occurred to him that maybe their family was already complete.
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"That really wasn't good for my back."
With a sigh, Ziva turned him away from her and nudged him beneath the showerhead. He turned his face up toward the hot water. "We should have known better."
"It was really good sex," he said. Her skilled hands began to knead his sore muscles. "But I'm probably getting too old to fuck you against a wall."
She chuckled and swatted his ass playfully. "Maybe I should be fucking you against the wall."
"That wouldn't work, with our height difference."
"You underestimate me, Tony."
He glanced over his shoulder at her. Wet ringlets of hair clung to her neck, and her cheeks were painted a rosy pink. Between work and Azalea and trying to get pregnant, these past few weeks had taken a lot out of them both. Now, after just a few hours in this hotel room, Ziva's stress and tension seemed to have evaporated along with the steam of the shower. She, glowing and radiant, was a beautiful sight to behold.
"I probably do," he admitted. Ziva grinned, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth, and he spun around to kiss her. They'd already had sex five times today, but their passion was reignited the instant their bare bodies made contact. Tony skated his hands down her arms, her breasts, and her abdomen; when he wrapped them around her thighs with the intention of hoisting her up, she broke their fervent kiss.
"Tony, your back," she reminded him.
"I'll survive."
But Ziva was already reaching past him to turn the water off. "Let's get on the bed, where you can lie down."
With that, she pushed the curtain aside and left the shower. He watched her strut out of the bathroom, the swing in her hips obviously meant for his benefit. (And hell yeah, he appreciated the effort.)
And of course, just as she had intended for him to do, Tony scurried after her. He stopped short when he entered the room and found her already on the bed, posing in a compromising position. Grinning widely, he crawled onto the bed and settled in between her spread legs.
Ziva cocked an eyebrow. "Objections?"
He shook his head fervently. "None," he said, reaching out to caress her sides and hips. "I am at your mercy."
And so the attempts at baby-making proceeded.
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On Sunday, as they were gathering their things to leave, Ziva pulled a pregnancy test out of her purse. "I think I will take this now."
Tony paused with his hand buried in his duffel bag. "Ziva, even if you did get pregnant, it probably won't show up yet."
"But it might. I just want to see."
Under his breath, he released a soft sigh. She was only setting herself up for disappointment, and they both knew it. But there never had been and never would be any point in arguing with Ziva. "Do you want me to come in with you?"
"No, no, you finish packing. I will be just a minute."
The bathroom door closed behind her. Tony busied himself with filling and zipping his bag, then checking the room to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. After what seemed like a very long time, but wasn't really, Ziva emerged. He didn't need to ask what the test said. He could see it on her face.
"This doesn't mean anything, Ziva," he said. She was quiet. Her carefree, relaxed mood of the past two days was gone. "We'll check again later, okay? You never know. It might have worked."
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As it turned out, the first test was right. Their weekend getaway plan had failed. Just like everything else they tried.
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"I think it might be time to give up," Ziva said in a resigned voice several nights later, as she and Tony lay on top of the covers in their own bed.
He looked over at her. "Really?"
"I do not know," she sighed, rubbing her face. "I mean… another would be nice. I would love for Azalea to have a sibling. But we did make the decision to try again rather impulsively, you know."
That much was true. Tony turned onto his side and pressed himself up next to her. He slipped his hand beneath the hem of her shirt to draw comforting circles on her stomach. Ziva tilted her head toward him. "I do not think it should be this hard."
"It wasn't with Azalea."
She hummed in agreement, and he brushed a light kiss over the curve of her neck. In the dim glow of their bedside lamp, Ziva looked pensive. Her fingers drifted across his wrist. The intimacy of the gesture took him back to their weekend together- which, in spite of everything, he had really enjoyed. They never got time to themselves anymore. To spend two days exploring and holding and making love to his wife was a treat, regardless of whether they achieved the desired outcome.
When they went to Gibbs' house to get Azalea, they were stuck in a fog of disappointment. Ziva, especially, was very quiet. But Azalea had greeted them at the door; she showed them the tiny wooden boat her surrogate grandfather had made for her. She yelled, "Mommy hug!" before winding her arms tightly around Ziva's legs, and then, with a cry of "Daddy hug!" she moved on to Tony. The instant he saw that little girl beaming up at him, his gloom disappeared. She was beautiful. She was perfect. She was enough.
At the time, he thought he saw the same sort of realization pass across Ziva's features. But as soon as Azalea was asleep that night, Ziva came into their room, locked the door, and dropped her robe. Tony started to say something- maybe we can talk about this some more?- but, in the end, kept his mouth shut. If she wanted another baby, damn it, he would give her another baby.
Now, she exhaled loudly and forcefully enough to blow a loose strand of hair off her face. Tony tenderly moved it behind her ear. "You know, even though we used to sometimes talk about having another child, I… in my head, I could never see it. I only saw you, me, and Azalea. I always saw us with our one daughter, the center of our universe."
Tony nodded against her shoulder. "Me too."
"I never really felt the need to add to our family, but I had wondered if being an only child was healthy. Then she came home talking about that girl's brother, and I… I felt guilty."
"Guilt has never done good things for you." He was sort of teasing, but also serious. God knew that Ziva's guilt had led to rash decisions and a lot of trouble on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, she ignored his comment and continued to stare at the ceiling. "Look, Ziva, it's up to you. You know I would love any baby we made. But seriously, I think that what you just said, about us putting everything we have into Azalea… that's what we've been doing for three years, and I think it's working out pretty damn well. The two of you are really all I need."
She redirected her gaze toward him. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," he confirmed, and kissed her knuckles.
Without another word, Ziva turned off the lamp, cloaking them in darkness. She wriggled under the blankets and he did the same, and then she crawled into his embrace. Tony held her close. Their hearts beat in tandem.
"Let me think about it," she whispered.
"Take all the time you need."
Through his shirt, he felt her press her lips into his chest.
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Some time later, Tony was drawn out of his slumber by hushed voices. He tried to ignore them and was almost successful in drifting off again, but then a loud, high-pitched giggle brought him back to the real world for good.
"Shhh." That was Ziva.
When he opened his eyes, he found her sitting up next to him, Azalea in her lap. The clock indicated that it was a little past three in the morning. He pushed himself into a sitting position. "What's going on, guys?"
Ziva shot him an apologetic look. "Someone is having trouble sleeping tonight."
"Oh, yeah?" Tony took in Azalea's rumpled Minnie Mouse pajamas and unruly mass of curls. "Decided to pay us a visit, did you, ninja petite?"
"Uh-huh. I wanna sleep in here with you."
"That is fine, sweetheart. Do you have your bunny?"
Azalea lifted both her hands and looked at them in horror. "I forgotted him!" Slipping out of her mother's grasp, she hopped off the bed. "I'll be right back!"
Her running footsteps retreated down the hall. A few moments later, she returned, the stuffed animal tucked safely under her arm. Tony and Ziva rearranged themselves so there was enough room in the middle for their daughter. She happily crawled into her spot and burrowed down beneath the comforter.
"Good night, Aza," Tony said. Ziva echoed him, and Azalea accepted a kiss on each cheek. He replaced his head on his pillow. A second later, warm fingers threaded through his, and he glanced over at Ziva. She was smiling. His heart warmed. "Night, babe."
"Night," she replied. No more words were uttered, or needed; there was only the sound of even breathing as they fell asleep, their world tucked safely in between them.