I haven't written for this fic in a while, hopefully still follows on, still belongs to Joss (except Gal), still love the 'verse, still flying in the black. Enjoy!

Mal's head shot up as an almighty thud shook the walls of the house. Jayne was back. Gal cast a warning look at Mal. Go sort it she was saying. Mal gave her wide eyes as he rose from his chair, gesturing to his chest silently, 'Me?!' he mimed, both not wanting to wake River who had eventually gone to sleep again after much persuading. "Grown ruttin' man and I gotta keep him in line," he grumbled as he walked back to Jayne's room where he could hear Jayne alternating falling against each wall he happened to be near. Great. Drunk. That would make this a whole lot easier.

"Jayne." Mal said in a warning tone, making sure Jayne knew he was there; wouldn't want any stray shootings. Not that Mal had really helped on that count... Casting a wary glance around the door he walked slowly into the room Jayne was now occupying, face down on the bed. "Jayne," Mal repeated, louder this time. Jayne made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a belch. Mal kicked his behind, making sure to keep his distance as the Tian Di Wu Yowng oaf fell sideways off the bed landing with yet another crash.

"Ta ma duh!" Mal cursed under his breath, "Jayne can you do nothin' but draw attention. That's the last thing we is needing right now!"

Jayne grunted as he got to his feet swaying, waving an accusing finger at Mal, while the rest gripped his largely empty beer bottle, which was spilt, for the most part, down his trousers. "Lo-ook here Mal, sir, Cap'n, ma'am," Jayne squinted and sat back hard on the bed, "this ain't what I signed up for! We should just leave now, while the feds don't realise it was us that was with that Wei Shian Dohn Woo!"

Mal grabbed Jayne's shoulders, a move he wouldn't normally try while Jayne was angry, but for the sakes of listening, he needed him to focus. Mal came down nose to nose with him, "You listen here Jayne, they are my crew-"

"Ain't any more part of your crew than any other sod down on their luck that you happen across when we're on a job." Jayne stared at Mal with a puzzled gaze, mostly because he was probably trying to keep him in focus. "You used to have standards Mal, a code," Jayne swayed again.

"That I did and I still do, but the standards slipped moment you stepped on my boat Jayne."

"You ain't exactly Queen of the pariah parade Mal."

Mal rolled his eyes, letting go of Jayne so he fell back on the bed, drooling on the sheets. "I damn well need you on my side down here Jayne, don't make this harder than it already is!"

"You're a.." Jayne's voice was muffled in the bedding he now had his face planted in.

"Sorry, what was that Jayne?" Mal mocked, keeping his distance and wondering how to sober him up. Many ways came to mind but which was the least disruptive but the most fun for Mal.

Jayne sat up slowly, blinking slowly, speaking slowly, "you're a fool and you gorram know we should'a put a bullet in her brainpan long 'fore she brung hell down on us," Jayne reached for his gun real clumsy like.

Mal breathed deeply and stared down at the intoxicated imbecile he called part of his crew, "how many times am I gonna have to tell you that they are crew and you ain't to touch one hair on either her or the doc's head. Dong ma?!"

Jayne got to his feet, lurching forward when gravity seemed to be working against him. "You're just Dow Ma Tze. Never took ya for a cradle snatcher Ma-" that was about the line when Mal's fist was done before Jayne's mouth and either of their brains. He came down hard on him, knocking him off his feet.

Jayne sprung up, alert enough now that he was a mite ornery. "I hope you got some money for having those Hwen Dan around, should'a sent her back to the bughouse when you had the chance." He wiped a hand across his split lip.

Mal lunged forward ready to teach this Ching Soh a lesson but force came between them that couldn't be stopped. Mal felt something small covering his fist and suddenly there was a figure between them. "What the-"

Jayne took the opportunity to take a swing at Mal but no sooner had he twitched than River had a foot to his chin, ready to take him down. Mal alternately had a palm to his chest, a gesture of placation rather than intent. Jayne swayed and tried to grab her leg, Mal leapt forward to intervene, but were on their backs before they could even register what the heck was going on.

Mal looked up from the floor squinting as a splitting headache pounded drums in his head. Not a moment had passed before Gal was at the door and then scrambling inside, cursing as she went.

Mal groaned and cursed some of his own and didn't even try to sit up, he just peered round his obtrusive corpse. River was sprawled out between them on the floor now, looking just as beat up as either of them considering she hadn't had a single punch thrown at her.

Mal rolled his head slightly further and saw Jayne passed out on the floor. Getting up slowly he kept a careful eye on him. Knocked out was certainly better than drunk while it lasted. Mal slowly made his way back to the front room willing River to keep it together and Gal not to yell. River was quieter than most, gripping her sides over the blanket as she tried to get back to settled. Mal felt guilt grip his stomach, but it passed quickly. Wasn't nothing for being guilty for, it was Jayne's fault. Gal grabbed his arm pulling him to the kitchen. Mal snatched his arm back first chance, feigning control of his own limbs, but knowing full well Gal was fighting for control in this situation. "Moment you brought her here, she's been my patient, so you gorram better keep her calm so I can treat her," she hissed, "or I'll kick you all out on your asses!"

Mal exaggeratedly put a pacifying hand on the arms she was waving emphatically, "Fang Xin mei-mei, if I have to, I'll send Jayne back to the ship, but safest place for us all at the moment is here. Now can I have some ice," he said, gingerly touching the back of his head, "your floor attacked my head."

Gal's smiled, trying to hide it behind a slitting glare, but went to get him some ice anyway.

Mal lowered himself back into the chair where he had been minding his own business before Jayne came in all inebriated like. His eyes were just betraying him to nod off when more pounding on the door started. "Tian Fan Di Fu !"

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