This story is totally different from everything. It's all mine so don't steal it! This is copyright Eysabelle Perfume Holmes aka Mistress Jet Black. Steal my ideas and I will sue you because I worked on this hard for two years BEFORE Cowboy Bebop EVEN CAME OUT! That's right I wrote this in 1987! Because I have super-secret psychick popwars! If you flame me I could care less because you suck if you'd not like this. If you think bad thoughts about this I WILL KNOW IT and will curse you!

* * * ~ JET IS STRONGER THAN DEATH! ~ * * *

STOP! Oh wait play this song when you read the story because it's so good: Jeans by David Dundas

This is bebop. Jet is crying because his girlfriend is gone. Who is his girlfriend? She is a Magickal Faerie Vampyre Laydee and a bounty huntress and she teaches yoga and also she is a hi class call girl and a spy and she keeps a Kosher kitchen and also she is willing to sleep with anything that moves because of Sexe Magicke Powers! Also she is not skinny cause skinny girls are evil and just tryin to take over my stuff!

Her name is Elayne O'Malley DuBois Sakamoto Romanoff! And you will fall in love with her and no she is not a Mary Sue!

O.K. So Jet is cryng because where is Elayne O'Mallye BuBois Sakamoto Romanooff? I lurved her so much and sex and ass and moo and bark and woof and howl and everything!

Spike: What?

Jet: Where is El;ayne O'Malley Dubois Sakamoto Romanoff my Magicakl Faerie Vampyre Layde?

CHEEZ N CRACKERS ONA CRUTCH LOOK OUT IT'S A FLASHBACK!

cHANGE THE SONG TO THIS - that Queen song that Laibach does

It was a dark and stormy night when he lost track of her in at the mall. They were going to see a movie about something. Something. If only…!

HOLY CRAP LOOK OUT THE FLASHBACK IS OVER AND NOW WE'RE BACK IN THE PRESENT TIME!

cHAGNE THE SONG BACK TO THE BLUE JEANS ONE

Spike: Oh. Who is this bleasingly blumb babe with a halo and huge ass and magickal powers in her eyes doing attached to my privates just like a lamprey?

Jet: Its her! Its her!

Elayne O'Malley DuBois Sakamoto Romanoff: Oh hi Jet how are you?

Jet: Moo! Woof! Arf! BowWow! Baaaaaa! Where did you go?

Elayne: I went to the Macikgal Faerie Vampyre Laydee's room cos to pee, silly.

Jet: Oh.

Elayne: Wheres Faye and Ed and Julia?

Jet: They dont get to be here in this story. We dont need them only YOU. Forever.

Spike: Julia who?

Elayne: You both suck. Bye forever.

Jet: Nooooooooooooooo! Moo! Woof! Meow! Arooooga arooooga!

* ~ * The End * ~ *

U bet you crying now, I cried when I wrote this. Leave lots of reviews if you leave flames its because your a pus of rat ass.