Me: Hullo :3

Inuyasha: Oh goody, another crossover that may never be finished. What is it this time?

Me: Batman: Arkham series, Inuyasha, and Detective Conan. Possibly Hetalia too...

Sesshoumaru: Do I ever show up?

Me: Only as one of the four central protagonists. ^_^

Inuyasha: *groans* Thank anyone-who-happens-to-be-up-there that you don't own anything...

Sesshoumaru: Any warnings?

Dante (editor): Yeah... Violence, harsh language, terrible nightmares thanks to Dr. Crane, mentions of past trauma due to The Crawler of Fable 3 fame, mentions of Yasha's mom dying through our theory of what happened, possible crossover pairings later, mentions of canon character death, and OOC-ness due to off-screen character development. We might drag Homestuck or Assassin's Creed into this fustercluck too.

Inuyasha: This is gonna suck.

~! #$%^&*()_

Inuyasha walked calmly down the grand, menacing hall of Arkham Asylum. He didn't own the place, but as he was head psychologist, he felt that he might as well.

(Really, compared to defeating Naraku, rising through the ranks at this place was cake.)

Now Batman - whom he was well acquainted with, thank you - had recaptured the Joker. He was going out to meet with Bats and perform the standard "pre-housing psychoanalysis" (basically just asking a few questions before they threw him in an electrified cell) of the Clown Prince of Crime.

He'd probably be forced to interview Joker, though all he wanted to do was throttle him. Harley had been his best friend, dammit, and now she was just a memory to Inuyasha, an enemy to the law, and a tool to that monster.

"Boles!" Warden Sharp barked in that annoyingly bossy voice of his. "Get him out of here!"

Inuyasha scurried through the door just as he heard a somewhat scratchy voice call out. "Hey, Frank-ay! How's the wife? Did you miss me?"

"Shut it, clown!" Boles snarled back. Everyone in Arkham hated him on some level, but he had some redeeming qualities. The hanyou noted his apparent hatred for the Joker as one of them.

Pushing his long, silver ponytail over one shoulder, he stepped around Warden Stick-Up-His-Ass with a glare. No, Harley did not need a lobotomy, Ivy and Croc did not need to die, and Hugo Strange was not trustworthy. If it weren't for his job he would have argued fiercely with Sharp, but he had an odd suspicion that he, Gretchen, and Penny were the only things standing in the way of mass patient deaths. The loss of one person in a small group like that could be catastrophic.

As these little hunches of his were usually correct, he kept his mouth shut.

"Hey there, Bats." Inuyasha greeted, completely inured to the glare that was sent his way. He'd gotten worse looks from his own brother.

"Doctor Fernandez." Batman greeted. His eye twitched. He sort of felt childish for choosing his old friend's last name instead of using Sesshoumaru's, but hell... He'd take the little differences where he could get them. "You'll be in charge of Joker's therapy from now on?"

Inuyasha nodded. "Everyone else but Gretchen is too scared to, and she's got a full schedule with Victor Zsasz and other inmates. Even Dr. Young wants nothing to do with him."

"Can't blame her, though." Boles cut in. Inuyasha gave him the Doom Glare, mouthing 'piss off' at the guard. Their shared hatred for monstrous clowns aside, he still didn't like the guy. After interrupting Franks' drunken rampage against some poor inmate who had done nothing to him except walk a little too close, Inuyasha figured he had a right to dislike him. Going into kill mode on some guy for being within 10 feet is not something an asylum guard should do.

"That's right." Joker intoned. "I do have a screw loose... or maybe eleventeen. But then again, who doesn't?" He gave his signature insane cackle. "You sure do, Doc! Ivy kisses you full on the mouth and you don't even flinch! Croc tries to eat you, you glare at him! Are we gonna have to get Scarecrow in here or what?"

He gave the clown his best 'Don't make me kill you' look and was gleefully ignored. Deciding not to question the clown - even though it was his job- he felt several curious looks aimed towards the back of his head and adjusted his ponytail, making sure his dog ears were covered while not giving away the fact that he lacked humanoid ones.

"...Standard procedure." He heard one of the doctors say. Was it Doc Collins? He honestly wasn't paying attention. He needed to sleep at some point, but Warden Sharp kept him stacked with work. As a hanyou, Inuyasha could get away with less rest, but that didn't mean he could pull his fifteenth all-nighter in a row just because one of the most uncooperative patients in Arkham history had come back.

"Patient seems to have received minor lacerations," The doctor mused. Inuyasha could have sworn Batman's expression briefly turned sheepish. "Probably within the last 2 to 3 hours..."

As he leaned over curiously to have a better look at one of the injuries, Joker suddenly yelled out "BOO!"

It had the desired effect; everyone except Inuyasha and Batman jumped back slightly, but the aforementioned duo just went into tense fighting stances. "See? He's as fearless -or crazy- as Batsy!" The clown cackled.

If Inuyasha was a cat he would have hissed at Joker. As it was, he just glared daggers at him and barked to Boles, "Let's keep moving. I want him in a cell ASAP."

As the doors slid open, the announcement jingle played briefly, and then he got his explanation as to why Croc's scent had seemed more powerful than normal.

"Level 9 patient in transfer. Approach with caution."

He waited a moment.

"Lethal force authorised."

There it was. The reason he hated Arkham.

The elevator slid open, and Killer Croc stepped out, fixing his reptilian eyes on Batman.

"I've got your scent, Batman." He hissed before the electric collar blasted him.

"Waylon, leave him alone." Inuyasha scolded warningly, giving him a cold look. While Croc was a fellow half-demon, he had no patience for the threats or the claims of cannibalism.

As far as Killer Croc was aware, being a hanyou was hard. It was hard and no one understood; Inuyasha knew exactly what he was going through and more, yet he wasn't munching on anybody!

They continued into the elevator, and the hanyou leaned against a wall as they began to sink.

"This is Warden Sharp..." Inuyasha heard from the television next to him, and he rolled his eyes. Ol' Sharpie just loved to listen to himself talk, and must have thought everyone else did too. "Now, some of you may have heard that the Blackgate prisoners will be-"

The lights flashed out, and the psychologist went on full alert. Using his sharp nose and ears to get an image of what was happening, he noted Boles was grabbing the key from his belt.

'Oh no you don't!' Inuyasha thought, vaulting over Batman in the complete darkness and pinning the Arkham guard down by sitting on his stomach and holding his wrists.

The lights flickered on once more. Bats was practically choking Joker, keeping him from escaping his restraints with a single hand to the Clown's throat.

"Well." Boles mused as the gold-eyed man released him. "Didn't know ya swung that way, Doc."

Inuyasha jumped when Frank grabbed at his ass, almost turning to kick him in the crotch and then remembering that Sharp would likely fire him. Instead he ran and hid behind Batman.

"Sexual harassment!" He hissed as the hero gave the guard a stern glare.

"I was just messin' 'round." Boles slurred.

He was drunk on the job again. Lovely.

As they entered the Holding Cells, Bats caught Commissioner Gordon's eye.

"Long night, Jim?" He asked quietly.

The older man scoffed. "In between juggling the media, Joker's arrest, and you? Yeah, it's been a helluva night. Who's your pal?"

Batman put a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "This is Dr. Inuyasha Fernandez, head psychologist here."

After a boring exchange of pleasantries, the Commissioner's eyes widened comically. "Whoops, I forgot! I brought my two best detectives over to meet you!"

The hanyou cringed. He knew one of those scents.

(Admittedly, the other was rather pleasant.)

"Batman, Doc Fernandez, I give you..." He began as two people rounded the corner. "Sesshoumaru Taishou and Shiny- er, Shin... Jimmy Kudo."

"We've met." Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha chorused acidly, glaring death at each other.

The others looked rather confused (excluding Mr. Stoic Superhero himself).

"Related, I'm guessing?" Jimmy asked, his cobalt gaze locked on the guards hauling Joker to a cell.

"Half-brothers." The hanyou clarified, walking to the overlooking room and watching the clown fall.

Something was wrong, and Batman was clearly noticing it too; his shoulders were tensed, his light blue eyes reflecting caution.

Next thing they knew, the guard was being choked on the ground by the clown prince of crime.

Bats punched the reinforced glass, making a large crack but not quite breaking the window.

Inuyasha whipped around to the Commissioner. "Run and get Warden Sharp!" He hissed. "Tell him the Joker has escaped!"

Without having to exchange cues or talk at all, Jimmy, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Batman stood next to each other, charging at and breaking through the glass.

They all landed on various levels of grace - Kudo wasn't the one who did the front flip and nailed the landing, and Sesshoumaru wasn't the one who skinned his knee on the concrete, to give you an idea- and stood quickly.

Hopefully they wouldn't end up like the guards- dead on the floor.

~! #$%^&*()_

Me: Well? .u.

Dante: Not bad, but the writing quality decreased over the course of the chapter.

Me: We're reading the shittiest book in existence in English class and it's killing my brain cells, so stfu.

Inuyasha: ...

Shinichi: You ok?

Inuyasha: ... I have a ponytail.

*beat*

Inuyasha: A. Freaking. Ponytail.

Me: *cracks up*

Dante: For the record, Jimmy and Shinichi are the same person. Jimmy is his name in the English dub, so we have a headcanon that when he comes to America he has people call him Jimmy if they can't pronounce his name.

Iris: Read and review! :3