I do not own Percy Jackson. All characters and props found in this story, TV shows, movies, and books are owned by Rick Riordan or BBC. Any characters found in this story that have no correlation to the books are my own characters and have been added because of plot and subtext. Thank You. WARNING: LANGUAGE AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF UNDER THE AGE OF 13. THERE IS A REASON THIS IS M. ALSO, THIS IS SETS UP THE BACKGROUND SO YOU DON'T GET CONFUSED LATER. AFTER THIS, THERE SHOULD BE MORE STORY. ENJOY.

Book 1:

CHAPTER 1: We crash land. Hard.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY SONIC?" I yell at Nathan as he desperately tries to figure out what went wrong. Even though we've had this ship for many, MANY, years, Nathan always seemed to press something that made the console freak out. Oh, and I know that this is a book. Or a story. Or whatever the author decides to make this into. Long story.

"HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I'M NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR SHIT!" He yells back at me while desperately holding on for dear life. Nathan's been my friend for forever, ever since we both did separate presentations on the Loch Ness Monster back in 5th grade. Geez, that was a long time ago. We were so small back then, and believed in so many things…

Sorry, lost track of my thoughts. Back to the problem. Which was the giant warning sirens and uncontrollable descent of our ship into who knows what world. I really need to add a "Stabilizer" button to the console soon.

"JARRED. QUIT TALKING TO THE READERS AND HELP ME WITH THIS THING."

"HEY, SHUT UP. I'M TRYING TO GIVE BACK STORY."

"NO, YOU'RE RAMBLING AND WE'RE CRASHING!"

"WELL, WHERE ARE WE CRASHING?"

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? ALL THIS THING KEEPS SHOWING ME IS A GIANT FUCKING WARNING SCREEN."

"MOVE OVER." I yell, shoving Nate out of the way so I can get a better look at the problem.

WARNING: RANDOM UNIVERSE CHOSEN. UNKNOWN FORCES AFFECTING DESCENT. CRASH LANDING IMMINENT.

"Fuck." I say as I frantically type on the keyboard. The ship keeps rocking back and forth as we non-chalantly fall out of the sky. "Well, I found out where we are!" I scream as we do what seems like a barrel roll.

"WHERE? CAUSE I HOPE THEY HAVE PLUMBING." Nate screams, looking greener every second.

"You won't believe me."

"Let me guess: JUSTFUCKINGTELLME-ISTAN."

"The Percy Jackson universe."

"Oh, well that isn't so bad. Maybe we could talk ourselves into getting cool swords like we did with those sonics from the Doctor Who universe, but it will be after we FUCKING DIE."

"HEY. I WASN'T THE ONE WHO HIT THE RANDOMIZER BUTTON."

"FUCK YOU."

CRASH

"Ow." I say as I push Nathan off of me. "Get the fuck off me. Let's make sure we didn't kill anybody when we crashed."

"You do it. I feel like I'm about to hurl my stomach out."

Whatever. I feel around my body and count my injuries. Couple scratches, no broken bones. That was lucky. Better than the time I broke all my ribs. It felt horrible regenerating after that.

I guess this is a good time as any to explain Nathan and I's story. Short version style. We both grew up in the US of A in Colorado during the 21st century. We like to call that universe "Universe Alpha1", since we came from there. If you're expecting us to say in the late 21st century, mankind creates magical machines that allow people to teleport to different universes, then congratulations!

You're wrong.

No, we had to get these wonderful gifts a different way. We grew old and died. Luckily, in that universe, the Christian god was real. Amazing right? Not so much. Apparently, we were both (read: Nathan) were neither good enough to go to Heaven nor bad enough to go to Hell. So we (again: Nathan) had a choice: live in purgatory for the rest of eternity before the rapture, or exile. Guess which on we (read: he) chose.

Anyway, he was allowed one other person to join him, so I packed my shit and got out of there as fast as I could. No offense to Christians, but HOLY FUCK IT WAS ANNOYING. JUST "PRAISE GOD THIS" AND "WORSHIP HIM THAT". I happily joined Nathan on his exile. We were allowed to take several gifts (or powers, depending on what universe you're reading this in) that we could take with us. We both chose on regeneration like the Doctor on Doctor who, only we were in full control on how we regenerated (though we have to switch genders every time. To female readers: I NEVER KNEW). I chose to also be gifted with the powers of electricity, fire, and control over metal (It allows me to make weapons, such as swords or axes. No guns though. To complicated). Nathan chose water, electricity (I still say he stole the idea), metal (again, MY IDEA FIRST), and the added bonus of not giving a fuck about anyone's problems that does not concern him.

Also, our ship is a lot like the T.A.R.D.I.S. from Doctor Who (copyright to BBC if the show is fictional). However, to avoid copyright infringements with the author, I'll just call it the ship. Makes it easier. When we left, we mad the ship look similar to the T.A.R.D.I.S. from Doctor Who, but, again, for the sake of not describing EVERYTHING and copyright infringement, you can just imagine it as looking the exact same, but a lighter blue. So there. That should get you caught up. And I don't really think you need to know what we're wearing on a daily basis.

I'm wearing suspenders, by the way. This seems like it is totally random, but I really just want to get this all over with first before I go any further. Also, just for your imaginations to not go to far askew, I am 6 ft. tall with long, lanky legs and short, dark brown hair. I've tried different hairstyles. Don't really care about them. I just go with the flow. Nathan is just two inches shorter, but he is pretty much the same description, with black hair instead.

WOW I AM OUT OF BREATH. My ADHD is not helping with this. So where was I?

"HEY FUCK FACE. QUIT STANDING AROUND AND OPEN THE GODDAMN DOORS."

"AND TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK, YOU DUMBFUCK AUTHOR. I KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT."

"I really don't think he… actually, yeah. He probably is using caps lock for you. You just have that tone of voice." I tell Nate as I open the door, stepping out into a dozen swords pointed at my throat.

This is off to a good start.

Well, this is my first story, and it seems to be off on a good start! Again, all copyright things go to BBC and Rick Riordan. More to come soon! Also, if you are wondering about the M rating, it is mainly because of the language. I do not intend on writing lemons later, but it could come up if need be. Probably not going to happen for a while though. Thanks for reading this!