"You're awfully chipper," seethed a green-eyed monster. The green-eyed monster, to be precise. Parsee Mizuhashi, the bridge princess of the underworld, whose speciality was sitting around being jealous of every single thing in existence, including jealous people. Who was she most jealous of today? A friendly acquaintance of hers who shared the same blonde hair color, but an altogether different ability. Yamame Kurodani, the earth spider who manipulated diseases.

"Who isn't happy this time of year?"

"Me."

"Oh, come on! There has to be a special somebody you like, right?"

"No."

"Everybody likes somebody!"

"Well, I don't, okay? I don't have a special someone, and you being so happy about Valentine's Day is making me jealous." Jealousy having set in, Parsee sat herself down on the wooden planks of her bridge and gave Yamame a look that was some kind of odd fusion between moping and scowling. Parsee was always like this, bitter and unfriendly, but she got along altogether well with other residents of the underworld. She always got especially bitter around holidays, though, and Valentine's was the worst. "Don't you have some stupid Valentine things to do? Like buy some stupid chocolates or practice your stupid confession in the mirror?"

"Is the mirror also stupid?"

"Probably.

"I'll keep that in mind~"

"Just hurry up and go do your crummy lovey-dovey stuff already!"

"Sheesh, fine." Getting up to her feet with a satisfied grin on her face (she always enjoyed seeing Parsee flustered; a common trait between most of her friends) Yamame rambled on as she made her way off the princess's bridge. "Go do your Valentine's stuff, Parsee says. It's all stupid, Parsee says." Continuing her ramblings with a big smile on her face, Yamame made her way down the path instead of up; toward the Former Capitol. She had some shopping to do.

Not much later; under the bridge...

"I...I don't know how to say this...dammit, I like you! There, I said it, happy now?" Standing under the bridge was Parsee. Standing across from Parsee was...

"Quit sounding so desperate! Smooth and natural, just like in the books!" Parsee. Parsee was practicing confessions to a duplicate Parsee, and Parsee did not approve of Parsee's confession. Angrily pointing at the real bridge princess, the duplicate said "Now start over!"

"Shut up already, I've been trying for years now!"

"Me shut up? You shut up! Getting the privilige of being a real person day in and day out...argh, I'm so jealous!"

"How can you be jealous of that!? I have to put up with idiots all day long! You get to leave whenever I'm through with you! Grrrr, I'm so jealous!"

"You're jealous of somebody who doesn't even really exist? How can you be so great at being jealous? Dammit, now I'm even more jealous!"

"How do you even feel jealousy when you technically don't exist!? Jealous, so jealous..."

"That doesn't change the fact that-"

"Shh! I think I hear somebody!" All was silent under the bridge for a few moments. Then both pointy-eared bridge princesses heard it. The sound of wooden sandals clacking against the cold stone of the underworld. Sounded like a tall person if Parsee considered the time between the footsteps and how much closer each one sounded from the last. Even the highly acute sense of hearing her ears gave her was something Parsee could get jealous from. Dismissing her duplicate from existance (and remaining jealous that it had the privilige to stop existing in the first place) Parsee made her way back up toward a spot that wasn't beneath the bridge. Her usual spot, at the end of the bridge closer to Former Hell. The footsteps were coming from behind her. That in itself narrowed the potential owners of the feet down to one.

"Parsee~! How's it going~!?"

Another visit from Yuugi. Joy. Turning to face the owner of the voice who addressed her, the bridge princess called back "I'm jealous of everybody, no big surprise there. Valentine's Day is stupid."

"Aw, it's not that bad!" Swinging an arm around Parsee's neck in her friendly fashion, Yuugi beamed "You get to give presents to that special someone in your life! What's so bad about that, huh?"

"Did you ever consider maybe I don't have a special someone? Or I don't want one?"

"Geez, everybody wants to be in love!" Unwrapping Parsee's neck and seating herself on the stone ground the two stood on, Yuugi set down a large red gourd half the size of herself. "I brought sake with me today. Want some?"

"I don't drink that piss," Parsee venomously quipped. It was altogether common that Yuugi offer some alcohol and Parsee bitterly turn her down. "I hate alcohol, and you know that."

"That's more for me, then," Yuugi smiled, looking at the metaphorical sake dish half full and filling the actual sake dish to the brim with alcohol. All it took was one long sip to down the whole thing; she learned how to drink a lot of alcohol at once while training to not drop any. Setting her now-empty red dish on the ground with a smile, Yuugi simply looked at Parsee and smiled. "Got plans for Valentine's?"

"Of course not!"

"Alright. I saw Yamame in the city earlier; said she needed to do some shopping. I'd better go help her out. Later." With an everlasting grin on her face, Yuugi turned, waved Parsee a good and happy Valentine's Day, and headed back down the path toward Former Hell.

Some hours later...

"Oh, Parsee! Can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it, Yamame?"

Holding out a brightly-wrapped box with red wrapping paper, Yamame said "Yuugi had a secret admirer in the city; they wanted me to give her this. I tried finding her, but had no luck. I know she stops by here a lot, so could you just give this to her if you see her?"

"Fine. Just don't tell anybody I'm doing this; I'm not running a delivery service down here." Taking the bright red box and hoping no bystanders she was unaware of would misunderstand what was going on here, Parsee sent the earth spider off.

"Thanks a lot, Parsee!" Lied as easily as breathing.

"Keep this quiet, I said!" No doubt she had more boxes of her own to hand out, to the likes of Kisume and that firefly from the surface world. What was it with Yamame and green hair? Parsee personally hated that color; she deemed it as being too beautiful, which made her jealous. And so began a fresh new cycle of wanton jealousy, this time with her being jealous of various colors. It didn't last long, though. Just as she was getting around to how she was jealous of the mystery the color purple can hold, there was a distinctively loud footstep. The kind somebody makes when announcing their presence. And sure enough, following that was three words.

"Hey there, Parsee."

"You again, Yuugi? At this rate I may as well let you live with me..."

"Sure, why not?"

"W-Wait! That's not what I meant; it was a metaphorical offer! A metaphor, okay!? Like I'd want to live with some oni! I don't want my house smelling like cheap booze, got it!? No, the offer's just metaphorical, got it!?"

"Alright, alright, it's not a real offer. I get it." Seating herself on the not-exactly-comfy stone path that led to the bridge, Yuugi set a big red gourd on the ground again. Smiling at the bridge princess like always, Yuugi simply enough asked "So what's new?"

"I ran into Yamame just a moment ago...or I guess she ran into me. And I'm supposed to give you this." Holding out the red box Yamame entrusted her with, Parsee said "Just take it, okay?"

"Oh, for me? Thanks a lot, Parsee~!"

"Don't get the wrong idea, stupid! They're not from me, alright? They're from some secret admirer."

"Sure thing." Unwrapping the box, Yuugi confessed "I was going to get you some chocolates, but the store was sold out just before I got in. I got something better though."

"I already told you those chocolates aren't from me! It's a secret admirer!"

"Whatever you say. The thing I got you, though. It's a ticket to some concert they're having down in the Former Capitol tonight, from this trio of sisters I'm not really familiar with. I figured you might like to come with me? There's two tickets, after all."

"...fine."

"And you're sure you didn't buy these chocolates?"

"Of course I didn't! Why would I go out and buy chocolate!?"

"Because you signed the card in the box."

"I did what!?"

"Yep. To Yuugi, from Parsee."

"Give me that card!" Taking the opened card from Yuugi's hands, Parsee took a good look at the insides. A simple enough Valentine's card; the kind with the goofy joke and a simple cartoon on the inside relevant to the joke. And then on the other side of the card's interior, just as Yuugi had said. To Yuugi, from Parsee. Parsee's face turned red enough that it looked ready to burst into flames.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"This...this is a misunderstanding! I've been framed! You know I'd never buy you chocolates! I-I-I mean, not because I don't like you! But don't start thinking I like you either, got it!?"

"So you wanna come to the concert with me?"

"...fine! But only because I want to forget about this whole misunderstanding!"

"Sure, sure, whatever floats your boat."

Meanwhile...

"Do you think that was going a bit too far? Forging her signature and all that?"

"Mm-fm!"

"Yeah, I think you're right." Turning toward her second valentine of choice – a firefly youkai from the surface world who found herself wrapped in a thick web – Yamame said "I'm sure she'd have done the same for me."

Happy Valentine's Day, all!

Here's a cute special starring Parsee & Yuugi. My notes this time are short and sweet, since I finished this one-shot at literally the last minute.