Joker21 : I knew that Lakilulu's death would please many people, glad to see you were part of these people. :p The winner is revealed at this end of the chapter, thanks for the support !

Rockin Bros : Let's celebrate ! Toadsworth probably has more fireworks in stock ! The final installment of the games has finally arrived, you'll see who wins ! Thank you for the comment !

Luigified531 : Thanks for your nice comment, I am very glad that you consider this one of your favorite stories ! I'm also glad to have kept Toadsworth as a major character in this, he definitely makes the story funnier in my opinion. ^^

Kaiimi : I loved that part as well ! Actually, whenever I think of Lakilulu and Lakilester, death ideas spring to mind ! XD Yeah, they're all dumb, except Boo lol. Thanks for the review !

9 : Shitstorm After the Calm

After an excruciatingly long day of work, Toadsworth decided to retire to his quarters at around 3 P.M., his mind full of thoughts. While the Mushroom Coliseum was almost over, the adviser knew that it was only the beginning of a beautiful story between him and the numerous coins that flowed inside his flourishing bank account. It was definitely true: already the old man had devised a plan so that a sequel could be offered to the public. "How blessed I am to know how to use my brain to earn what I rightfully deserve!"

Toadsworth let himself fall onto his beautiful four-poster bed and closed his eyes. His mind wandered back to the day of the heist, and how flawless the plan he and his friends had concocted was. He also let out a chuckle, smiling to himself: Tayce was about to be arrested.

"Hmmm... Oh well, usually I am against working outside normal working hours, but I will make an exception, since it's not really about working and more about pleasing myself," Toadsworth waddled his way towards his desk.

"Let's see... If I remember correctly, I did not finish filing the warrant to conduct a search in Tayce T.'s bedroom," the princess' aide sat in his comfortable chair and looked at all the paperwork situated on his desk. "How peculiar," he frowned, unable to locate the official paper.

"Maybe...this pile?" he tried, placing it before him. "Donations for the orphanage? Ha! As if I would donate anything to these beasts. The orphanage is already supplied by our institution. Why, I would be ashamed to ask for more in their place!" Toadsworth shook his head, indubitably disappointed by the greed of the director of the establishment.

Dear Pingroleon,

Further to your demands of raising budget of your orphanage, we are delighted to announce you to FUCK OFF already you PIECE OF SHIT. You are nothing but an ingrate and should be absolutely ashamed to beg for more. Just send the children to work if you desperately need the money: our economy is in recession, you cannot expect the Kingdom to cater to your needs.

Yours faithfully,

Tayce T.

Satisfied with his reply, Toadsworth returned to his bed. He suddenly frowned, realizing that something was wrong with his bedroom: Tayce T.'s painting was located there.

"Oh no," he muttered anxiously, realizing he might have been victim of a frame-up. He opened his window and realized the police was arriving. Gulping, the old man took the painting and exited his room rapidly.

Outside, he tiptoed his way to the kitchen while concealing the frame, which was very hard considering the castle was already packed with policemen and that his destination was on the very first floor, but his hidden ability as a conniving mastermind allowed him to bypass all the obstacles. Once there, he assumed a deep voice. "Tayce, open up."

As soon as the door opened, he flung the painting inside and rushed back to his room, dusting his hands. "I knew it!" he exclaimed. "She's not as dumb as she seems. Hoho, we'll see just how mighty you are, Tayce!" he cackled evilly.

…

Princess Peach's advisor, the brown-capped Toadsworth, had been designing the sequel to the Mushroom Coliseum for at least one hour, when his attention was abruptly drawn to his bay window by a small noise.

"I certainly hope the stupid stork did not make another mistake, because I would really hate to have it shot down by hunters if it brought me yet another baby," he started threateningly, pausing just as he opened the window. "The painting? B-But... From where?"

Looking up, he saw a long rope dangling from the roof of the castle, but it seemed to be moving up. Toadsworth immediately darted for the painting and rushed to Tayce T.'s room. In his haste, he did not see a certain shadow siren with pink hair and shoved her roughly to the side, causing her to fall to the first floor.

"That was so rude!" Vivian sobbed, trying to move people with her innocent act. Unfortunately for her, no one cared.

Toadsworth looked behind his shoulder once he arrived at his destination, and picked Tayce T.'s lock, only to realize that the room was already open. Shrugging, he entered and put the painting on the bed. He yelped in surprise when he saw the bed moving.

"Huh?" Tayce T. awoke from her slumber, rubbing her eyes to get accustomed to the lights. "Oh! Hi Toadsworth, did you come to see how I was?"

"What? And why would I do that? Isn't it a custom practiced between friends?" questioned the old mushroom with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yes...? Which is exactly why you came here, isn't that right, my friend?" Tayce tried to reassure herself. The adviser dodged the question deftly.

"Are you really Tayce? Because I thought you were on the roof moments before I arrived here, and last I checked you were not a superwoman. Why, you already have trouble being a normal woman, so even though I don't doubt you potentially have some redeeming qualities, teleportation is not one of them," Toadsworth eyed the old and wrinkled Toadette suspiciously.

"Thank you!" Tayce shouted joyfully, not quite understanding Toadsworth's stand on her character. "But what I think is that you might have encountered Zess T., a friend of mine who's supposed to help in the kitchen while I'm sick," explained the cook.

Toadsworth stroke his mustache in deep thought. "Would you mind taking this painting and saying it is this... Zesty woman who gave it to you? I would even take upon myself to invite you for dinner if you were to accept!" the cunning man made a risky move. "It would be a blind date, of course."

"Oh Toadsworh, I thought I would never see the day where you would be open to such pleasantries!" Tayce giggled, prompting the brown-spotted mushroom to make a face.

"Neither did I, and I was fine with it," muttered the old man before leaving the bedroom.

…

As Toadsworth rushed to the studio where the show was to be broadcast, he heard a commotion in the main hall of the castle. A wrinkled cook was fighting off the police with a butcher's knife. Worried for his own safety, Toadsworth tiptoed out of sight. Soon after that, he heard the distinct sound of someone getting stabbed in the ass, a common practice in the Mushroom Kingdom it seemed.

For the show, the princess' aide had decided to put humble clothes on. He was wearing his usual purple and yellow-trimmed vest, his spectacles, and was giving the illusion that he was a poor and weak old man by using his trusty cane as a support.

However, he was also wearing golden rings in which were embed amethysts, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, diamonds, and necessities of the sort, which offered a nice contrast with the rest of his clothes in his mind. A golden chain drooped from his neck, a capital 'T' hanging from the fashionable accessory, and he had also decided to put jewels on his teeth, so that the commoners would understand that he was one of them and had bad dentition. Since most of them had never seen gold before in their life, they would never know they were duped by the cunning individual.

Entering the scene, the crowd erupted in cheers and hollers, exceptionally happy to have paid an entry fee of five hundred coins to see a shitty show. And that was only the entry fee, because they also had to rent chairs, two hundred coins per chair and per hour, and also have to give up on their savings if they wanted popcorn and other delicacies, five coins per gram. However, no one bothered to complain: whether it was genuine imbecility or excitement for the finale of the show, the world would never know, even though it clearly tended to support the first hypothesis.

"Weeeeeeelcome ladies and gentlemen to the finale of the Mushroom Coliseum!" Toadsworth raised his hands in the air, much like a certain airhead princess. A spotlight fell from above and squashed a poor Goomba who was kicked to the side and left for dead. "Well, look at that! It seems our good princess cursed this gesture!" chuckled the old man. No one shed a tear for the Goomba, not even his wife who would receive money from the insurance.

"Only nine contestants remain, and by the end of tonight, only one of them will be left standing!" pursued the host, pointing at the camera with his cane and breaking its screen. "So, before we begin... I must ask our Very Insignificant Peons: who is your favorite to win it all?"

Kaiimi glared at Toadsworth and slid her slender finger along her throat, while Toadsworth retaliated with a carefully aimed flip of the bird. The Toadette fumed but could not bring Toadsworth to court for he had damaged the front camera, so she replied simply. "I'm cheering for Queen Bee, she's my favorite idol ever since I saw her performing live on one of the tracks of Mario Kart Seven. She was so daring, strutting nude in Rosalina's Ice World and singing 'cmon babe u kan dip ur ot sos in ma vajayjay n thangs wil b craycray'! Probably my favorite song from her!"

"Oh yes, I remember that! The princess told me that she had recruited a prostitute who had a nice singing voice during one of her races. I had caught onto the prostitute aspect of that fat bee, but I never realized it was her because of the second aspect of the description," recalled Toadsworth with a chuckle. Kaiimi chucked her soda can at him, which he deftly avoided, and cursed suddenly: she would have to spend another thirty coins on a new drink.

"What about you?" he inquired, looking at the Cobrat with pernicious eyes.

Sepron did not need to reflect long, and immediately shouted his answer. "Queen Bee! DUH! What's not to love about this succulent creature?"

Toadsworth smirked. "Well, if you asked me... Everything?"

The snake shrugged. "It's because you're an old fart and are stuck in your prehistoric world! Queen Bee really is popular, unlike you!"

Toadsworth's smirk faltered and he 'accidentally' jabbed Sepron in the gut with his cane. "Oh, absolutely sorry! I hope you are quite alright, I would never forgive myself otherwise..." While Sepron was wheezing on the floor, the counselor turned to Admiral Bobbery.

"Well lad, I'll be darned if Queen Bee doesn't win this little competition! She has everything for herself: stamina, staying power, intelligence, beauty, strength, an acute mind, wisdom, self-awareness... Truly, she is a sight to behold!"

At this point, Toadsworth doubted he was awake. He pinched himself to make sure he was not dreaming. "Ow! I thought I had been captured by extraterrestrial lifeforms and brainwashed for a second, but it seems not to be the case. It matters not, you're probably all delusional anyway."

"Well, I never!" huffed the double.

And finally, it was Steven's time. "I'm totally rooting for Kooper!" he cheered excitedly.

The princess' aide raised an eyebrow in wonder. "Are you quite alright? There is no Kooper in the game. He killed himself while on The Mole!" smiled Toadsworth, as the disturbed Koopa began weeping like a five-year-old.

"Oh well... I guess I'm kinda for Toodles, she's pretty swag!" Steven chirped happily, switching mood in record time while the others cringed at the mention of a certain word. Toadsworth had to muster every ounce of his willpower not to smack the tattooed turtle in the face.

"She already passed away! Do you even follow what is going on in this game?" blurted out the old mushroom angrily, in a condescending tone.

"Waaaah!" Toadsworth's interlocutor wailed. "Why are you so mean to meeeeeee? Like, you're so not nice at all!"

Coughing, Toadsworth decided to escape while he still could. "Wel, your heard it from the Very Idiotic Personalities, they are in favor of Queen Bee! And now that we know who is the favorite, let us see what happened in the Coliseum!"

The giant screen behind Toadsworth came to life and displayed the remaining nine contestants doing various things, which prompted the audience to roar happily.

…

Gliding gracefully in her cerulean dress, the mother of the galaxies was going to wash her hair in a water area not polluted by Wario's nefarious farts, when she came across a disturbing sight. Gasping beautifully, the wonderful maiden approached the scene that had surprised her, scanning it with her pure orbs of vision.

"Oh my... Wasn't it the place where our dear friends took out their weaponry for the first time...?" she put a hand to her mouth as she bent down to investigate, managing not to wrinkle her clothes as she did so. The wind brushed past her well-kept hair which returned to its original place once the breeze ceased to manifest itself.

"But it is also a place of strong amusement: Lakilester died after threatening the security of our group, and we also had a nice party afterward. I will forever cherish the memories in my heart," Rosalina smiled, looking at the sky. "It is also during this event that Donkey Kong and I became...close."

While the princess of the cosmos tried to pass off as a Mary Sue, she felt a strange aura in the air, as her magical powers of swift and cute destructive possibilities picked up an anomaly near her surroundings. Guided by her mysterious powers, Rosalina followed the flux of disturbance and stopped near a dried pool of blood.

"Lakilester...is still alive?" she wondered aloud, realizing the body was not there anymore. "But I haven't been able to sense his douchiness ever since he was slain for his sins!"

The princess considered ever possibility and thought intently, trying not to frown so that she would delay the apparition of wrinkles on her pretty face.

"My life is so hard," she remarked after a moment. "Why do I need to have my powers restrained just because I am so great? It feels like I am but a character in a horrible fan fiction which author realized that I was too Mary Sue-ish so they decided to give me one unneeded setback which, in the grand scheme of things, would not change a thing and would probably be promptly forgotten after a chapter of two!"

As the poor individual wallowed in her own misery, she realized that something felt wrong. "All the weapons that were used that day are here...but it looks like the gun disappeared! I must inform everyone to watch their back at once!" declared the mystic beauty, walking back to the camp at a leisurely pace.

"You will do no such thing!" threatened a mysterious individual not garbed in robes at all, but in order to create an effect of false surprise, their identity will not be revealed.

"I beg your pardon, but why would I listen to you?"

"Because of...this!" Rosalina gasped dramatically, her eyes fixated on the gun that was in the hands of the malicious person. The princess tried to escape and ran as fast as she could in her dress, her speed being actually excruciatingly slow, in a straight line, allowing even a non-gun savvy individual to shoot her without any problem.

Rosalina fell after the shot, and even though she should have crashed in the mud, her powers flipped her body at the last second and she landed in a bed of roses. Pure doves flew above her head and created a rainbow while various animals began to sing to her glory. In the sky, fireworks displayed a yellow halo above a white cross. The doves returned to their abode soon after their apparition and bombarded Rosalina's killer with their faeces.

"Stop it you stupid birds!" screamed the assailant, running away from the bombings.

…

After an announcement made by Toadsworth, the eight survivors met near the clearing they had started their game at, some of them in better dispositions than others. Snifit was barely standing, almost completely incapacitated by the drugs that were in his body.

"Duuuuude... Oh man, I can see pretty staaaars in the skyyy..."

Boo frowned. "Geez, lay off the herbs, you stupid junkie!" Snifit looked at him with glassy eyes.

"No way maaaan! Herbs are tooootally tubular and they help me get through every single day of life! Plus, I have a green thumb, soooo yeah... I might as well make use of my abilities, you get it dawg?" Snifit justified himself with a vacant stare and a goofy grin.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were a depressed man," Boo apologized sincerely, not wanting to hurt Snifit's feelings. "Maybe you ought to see a psychologist? You know, to get rid of your problems and your addiction."

Snifit looked even more puzzled than usual. "Like, what do you mean dude?" Boo raised an eyebrow.

"You just said that drugs helped you get through every single day of life, so that means that you're depressed, right?"

"Oh! Totally not that, man! When I said this line, I was actually referring to my nagging mother!" Snifit chuckled. Boo hit his forehead in frustration.

"Some people can be sooo rude!" Peach pouted, her arms crossed.

"ye I no rite der a buncha bichz" Queen Bee testified in favor of the princess' feelings. She was particularly vehement when it came to politeness and absolutely abhorred louts.

"I know right? You just don't get killed at ten in the morning when normal people are still sleeping just to wake them up with your fireworks!" Peach was wound up.

"Oh no, whatever shall we do? Our poor princess' sleep was interrupted by someone who had the effrontery to get brutally and savagely killed by one of the participants! It truly is horrible!" Yoshi exclaimed sarcastically, like the ass he is.

"I daresay you are quite correct," Flurrie nodded strongly - she had also been inconvenienced by the murder that had occurred during the morning – not quite realizing the mockery behind Yoshi's tone. "Why would you even want to die in the morning? People cannot see your fireworks in the broad daylight!"

"So who died actually?" Tiny asked even though she already knew the response since they were eight instead of nine. Truth of the matter was, she wanted to hog all the attention to herself but was so boring she did not know how. She was knocked to the side by a strutting Wario.

"So what's this meeting about, eh?"

"It's probably about how Rosalina's bad-mannered!" Peach exclaimed. She was supported by an 'Indubitably!' from Flurrie as well as a 'fuk ye' from Queen Bee. Yoshi rolled his eyes but said nothing.

A hologram of Toadsworth appeared on the field. Wario charged at him because the old mushroom had denied him his daily junk food, but found himself traversing the image and fell to the ground disgracefully.

"Greetings, final eight!" Toadsworth smiled to the eight survivors. "Your numbers have dwindled, and now, only eight of you remain! First of all, let me congratulate you for all the money I made thanks to your help. Secondly, I wanted to tell you that until four of you are left standing, various obstacles will be thrown your way! Good luck, everyone!"

The hologram disappeared, and numerous growls were heard in the distance. Gulping, the eight survivors dashed away, hoping to survive...

…

The trio of fatsos, composed of Queen Bee, Wario and Flurrie, all ran away toward the same place and decided to unite their strength to overcome the many challenges that awaited them. They ran a good three meters before making a small pause, out of breath.

"Phew, that was a good work out!" Wario claimed jovially, sweat dripping from his forehead at around the same speed an iceman would melt a few feet above the sun.

"Indeed it was!" Flurrie remarked smartly. "My belly rumbles in excitement, it must be a sign that I lost one or two calories! Or perhaps I am simply hungry for some delicious food."

"but u 8 lik 30 min ago u fatas" Queen Bee pointed out an inconsistency in Flurrie's thought process.

"But I did not eat like I am used to. You have to understand, my dear, that I have not been able to consume greasy and fattening meals for a day, which is incredibly long by my standards!" Flurrie noted before saluting her friends. "I will hunt for dietetic food since I am unable to visit one of my Fatburger restaurant!"

As soon as Flurrie left, Queen Bee immediately put the charms on Wario. "ey wana sho me yor manhood im kravin 4 sum gud sex. I shuda askd 4 a 3sum wit da hunki ape but hes ded so ye, kinda l8t lol"

Wario had trouble understanding the rapper, she was way too poetic and subtle for him. He misinterpreted her words completely. "Sure, I wouldn't mind seeing your moves! Show them to me!"

"u kinky hog" winked the pop star, licking her lips in the process. "k ill sho u ma dense mov"

Queen Bee opted to turn one hundred eighty degrees so that Wario would have a nice view of her booty. The man was intrigued, right behind her, as she started to perform her trademark dance.

"i cam on a wrekin bal im such a depravd litl whor," she sang, twerking at the same time. "al i wantd waz 2 let u in but 4 sum rezon u wer liek I dunt wana get lost in dere bich o yeeeeeeeeee" Queen Bee accelerated her thrusts, motivated by her song. "i promisd 2 mak u go 2 da 7th sky n I wont Dny dat I wuz totes arozed til u refuzd n den I sed fuk of u a fukin prud n i wnt bak 2 fingerin ma sefl yyeeeeee yeeeee ooo aaaa ooo yeeeeee yeeeeeee aaaaa oooooo"

Once she was finished, Queen Bee grinned from ear to ear, remembering the hit her song was. "i rote it masefl I u wer wonderin" But she obtained absolutely no response. "i c ur 2 dazed 2 sey anythang"

And then, Queen Bee turned and realized that Wario was dead. "fuk we didnt even do it im so mad" Then she paused, her astute mind realizing that Wario had been stabbed numerous times and that she had blood at the tip of her stinger. He took her only ten minutes to understand the correlation between the two elements.

"o shit I ned 2 get out of her I dunt wana go bak 2 jail liek dis tim wen i kinda ran ova sum sivilans wen I wuz drunk" the responsible bee fled the scene.

…

Meanwhile, Flurrie faced a conundrum. The wonderful actress had overcome many obstacles during her life, such as rivals that suddenly disappeared from the face of earth, small favors and services she gave to directors of plays and films, which made her mouth her strongest muscle, not to mention the tomatoes she received at the end of almost every representation she was part of.

But that was something else. There were two sacks of berries on a table, one of them was full of poisonous fruits while the other contained normal goods. "Oh my! If only I had the sufficient knowledge to resolve this ordeal of mine!"

Of course, Flurrie supposedly had this knowledge already since she had studied berries while the twenty two players trained before the beginning of the Mushroom Coliseum's Killings, but with her memory, similar to that of a goldfish, she was unable to recall that particular fact.

"I absolutely must plan my next move carefully, or it could have dire consequences on my health!" She ruminated a few thoughts in her head before nodding, pleased with her findings. "I could pass on this offer to be sure that I would not make a wrong choice, but it seems slightly stupid when I see all this delicious food right before me...

"Oh dear... I could also choose one sack or the other, but with no external sign to guide my choice... It would be unwise," declared the wind spirit, not realizing that one of the sacks was marked with a skull.

"Whatever shall I do?" Flurrie exclaimed dramatically, wiping her brow in desperation. Five minutes later, she made a grandiose discovery.

"EUREKA!" she shouted joyfully. "I have come up with a plan that will ensure that I make the right choice!"

After she said that, she opened both sacks and ate their contents. "Now I know for sure that I ate the right ones! It was a tough puzzle, but I have faced my fair share of difficulties throughout the years. It was nothing I could not triumph over! My brainpower saves me, once again!"

Minutes later, she was dead.

…

In another part of the island, Snifit was once again trying to sniff his shit. Not the literal one, but the verdant one. Hunched over a small fire he had created with two branches, to facilitate the ignition of his future joints, the red-clad individual sighed contently.

"Aaah... This is the life," he grinned, taking a puff. After finishing his whole cigarette, he passed out on the floor. At the same time, Peach and Boo burst out from the vegetation at the side of the clearing and panted heavily. The two had teamed up as well and were trying to evade two of their acquaintances who wanted to kill them: Pauline and Lady Bow.

Pauline resented the fact that she had not been invited by the princess to take part in this game, while Lady Bow wanted to murder Boo for leaving her injured in the Boo Mansion to have 'fun' with the rest of his friends.

Negotiations were impossible.

On the other side of the field, Yoshi and Tiny Kong also emerged from bushes. Because the host was not very original, they were also pursued by people, except they were random mobs. Yoshi was trying to escape the vigilance of a group of fangirls, while Tiny tried to get away from her haters.

Negotiations were also impossible there.

"What are you doing here?" Tiny asked the other two.

"I don't know...surviving?" Boo cast her an annoyed glare. Being a blonde, Peach misunderstood Boo's sarcasm.

"Of course we're trying to survive, silly Boo! Thank goodness I'm here otherwise you'd be so lost!" she patted him on the back, causing him to growl.

Yoshi shook his head. "This is stupid. We're the smartest ones here, why do we have to be accompanied by blond dumbasses?" he insulted the two girls even though Tiny was his ally and right besides him.

"Hey! I heard that!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, alerting the different factions of their location. "Whoops! This is all your fault, Yoshi!"

"You're the one who never knows when to shut-aaaaah! They're there!"

"Not her!" Peach whined, but started running as well. The foursome began running toward each other in an epic slow-motion montage, their enemies right on their tails. The mobs came from one way while the girls came from another, but since they had their targets they ignored the rest of the people gathered there.

Everyone managed to get away in time...

…

…

…

…

...except the poor passed out Snifit who had been trampled over by thousands of feet. Scientists still conduct tests to this day, to know whether he died because he was ran over or if he actually deceased from an overdose.

…

After Queen Bee had unfortunately killed Wario, she had erred in the luxurious vegetation aimlessly. She was humming one of her best hits to soothe her worried mind, but was cut short, literally and figuratively by a disk.

"who da fuk threw dat 2 me u beta step up or ima stab yo as so hard u gona die like a fuken lakiput" she roared like a tiger, showing off her claws.

"Who else, but the righteous queen of pop, the one and only Beeyonce!" a Vespiquen wearing a tight white leather dress appeared in her field of vision.

"fuk u bayons ur not even quen of ur on as" Queen Bee used her witty repartee to rattle Beeyonce's confident attitude.

"But once you are dead, I will take over the world and make all labels mine, thus rendering impossible for other artists to record their own music and making mine the only one available to the masses!" the Vespiquen chuckled evilly. "But first, I need to take you out of the picture."

"no1kurrs bout da otha artist dey ol suk liek u onli ma musik kounts. n I dunt think u kan beet me ya beetch"

Beeyonce paused for a second, contemplating Queen Bee's wise words. "Unfortunately for you, I can and will beat you. You will perish here and now! Have at you!" the Vespiquen took out her unsold CDs and started to throw them at Queen Bee who retaliated with her own leftovers.

But the battle was heavily in favor of Beeyonce who was in all actuality, a big flop. The bitch could not even make top fifty in the charts while Queen Bee was always at the top along with Toadney Spears. Thus she had less ammunition than her adversary and fell in the battle.

"fuk uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" Queen Bee made sure that her last words would be remembered for posterity.

"What a pity. Another one slain by her own success... A tragedy, but it happens to almost everyone in the industry, so whatever."

…

Back on stage, the courageous Toadsworth was always prepared for every situation. As soon as the last scene of the battle between Queen Bee and Beeyonce was over, he took out a huge shield which covered his whole frame and placed it before him, successfully stopping the throws of the furious public.

"Settle down or else I will burn your houses and families!" Toadsworth blackmailed the audience. "Ah-hem," he cleared his throat and pushed the shield to the side. "It is regrettable that Queen Bee has lost the game, but we are not responsible for the actions of the players! Thankfully for you and me, we still have Yoshi in the final four, which means that his brainwashed overzealous fans, which make for ninety percents of our market shares, will keep on watching the show!"

"Yay! Go us!" cheered the president of Yoshi's fan club. The supporters rose from their seat and clapped, none of them understanding the insults behind Toadsworth's words.

"Anyways, I will now go to the Vile Irredeemable Poisons and ask them who they root for now that the final four has been revealed!"

Sepron nodded and raised a picture of Yoshi in the air. "I was for Queen Bee, but Yoshi would make a nice winner as well! The president of the fan club is also a very nice person! Please pay the one hundred coins needed to be part of his group!" he sweated profusely, as the Yoshi fans glared daggers at him. He may or may not have been threatened by a gun to his temple.

"Personally, I'm totally for Peach!" winked Steven at the camera. "I feel some kind of mutual understanding between the two of us for some reason!" Toadsworth gauged him with his intelligent eyes.

"Riiiight... It doesn't surprise me for some reason," laughed the mushroom.

"As for me, my good friend, I am really supporting princess Peach one hundred percent! Our ruler does need it, and I certainly do not have ulterior motives for asking people to get behind the Peach wagon! Not at all!" Admiral Bobbery shifted his eyes suspiciously. "Boo is also someone I would not mind winning."

"I guess you expect me to support Tiny, huh?" Kaiimi crossed her arms. "Well, too bad! I want her to die and suffer horribly! No one likes her, she sucks and she killed her own sister! Can you believe it?"

"Yes I can! One of my favorite moments of the show!" grinned the host. "Thank you for your wonderful opinions! It is time for...the final showdown!"

…

"Sooo... Why did they give us a weapon each?" Peach wondered. She had yet to assimilate the finer details of the Mushroom Coliseum. Boo was boiling, next to her.

"THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE GAME IS TO KILL EACH OTHER SO THEY GAVE US WEAPONS TO PREPARE A MEAL!" he screamed, enraged.

"Aaaaah! Okay!" Peach smiled. "Wait, what kind of meal do we have to prepare? I can only make mistakes!"

"Please have mercy on my poor soul!" Boo sniffled, at wit's end.

The duo made its way to the final area of the game, where Tiny and Yoshi were already awaiting them. At this point, it was clear in everybody's mind that the two of them were in an alliance, except for Peach obviously.

"Well, I guess this is it," Yoshi yawned, bored. He did not even bother to take out his sword. Boo already had his out, and Peach's katana was in her hand, while Tiny used hers as a support. "Let's get this over with so I can win."

"What about me?" Tiny complained. "I want my share of the money!" Yoshi rolled his eyes.

"Suuure, I'll give you one thousand coins if I win, it should be enough for a lifetime for you since you live in a shack with your baboon friends," snickered the green dinosaur.

"You live on an island full of uncivilized people, so you really shouldn't talk!" Tiny bit back, causing Yoshi to frown.

"So!" Peach addressed the other two. "What meal do you think we should cook to win this game?"

"LOOK BEHIND YOU!" screeched Tiny Kong, smirking.

"Oh f-"

But Boo did not have the time to finish his sentence. When Peach turned abruptly, she had her weapon in hand and it cut through the ghost, killing him instantly. However, the princess did not stop there: Boo's body opposed a resistance which made Peach lose her balance. As she tumbled on the floor, her katana flew in the air and fell back onto her frame, killing her as well.

Yoshi looked dumbfounded. "Wow... Just wow... I have never seen such idiocy in my life before. Oh well, easy win for me! Now you just have to kill yourself to let me win, Tiny."

Pouting, the monkey looked at the floor. "Fine, but there's something I must give you before!"

"As you wish!" Yoshi closed his eyes for a second.

"It's...THIS!"

BANG GUNSHOT BANG GUNSHOT BANG GUNSHOT

Yoshi fell to the floor, riddled with bullets. "Bitch, you really thought I'd let you win?" Tiny spat on his body, before dancing the cancan. "I won!"

Tiny Kong was unfortunately the winner of the Mushroom Coliseum.

…

The crowd was in an uproar, since it was mostly composed of Yoshi fans. Even the V. were upset by the way the game had ended. Toadsworth backed away toward the screen, holding his shield close to his body and jumped in a green warp pipe.

…

Toadsworth cleared his throat suddenly, trying to catch Tiny Kong's attention. The monkey stopped celebrating in front of the camera, and ran towards the host, awaiting the praise.

"Tiny, congratulations! You won two hundred thousand coins for yourself!" clapped the counselor, even though he was clearly disgusted by this turn of events. He opened a suitcase full of coins. "You won this...HOWEVER!"

"What?"

"Well, you have a choice to make. Remember how I said that your friends would come back to life at the beginning of the game? The truth is...with the Kingdom in recession, we can't afford to waste money, you see? If you return home with the two hundred thousand coins and we need to feed life shrooms to the rest of the losers, we will lose tons of money!" lied the old man through his teeth.

"Oh. What does that mean, though?"

"Well... I will give you a choice. Either you choose the money or you decide to bring your friends back to life!" grinned Toadsworth.

"I see... Well, when you present it that way, it's not like I have much of a choice, is it?" she smiled sadly.

"Mmmh... Indeed, I suppose."

"Well then... I'll obviously pick the money, duh!" Tiny smirked, taking the suitcase full of coins. "I mean, I can always make new friends and adopt another family, but I'll never have the opportunity to win two hundred thousand coins another time in my life!"

"Wow, what a bitch!" Toadsworth could not help but say.

"I try my best!" Tiny took it as a compliment.

"Pardon my crude words, you have made your choice! A helicopter will escort you to the location of your desires! Farewell, Tiny Kong!" he bade goodbye to the contestant just as a helicopter landed a few meters away from them. The simian figure nodded excitedly and embarked aboard the flying device, ready for new adventures.

…

When Toadsworth returned to the the stage in front of the audience, he found them rioting and chucking soda cans everywhere. The Yoshi fan club was absolutely livid and its members infuriated by the fact that Yoshi was dead forever. Snifit's mother was rolling on the floor crying while a few people were actually laughing happily because they had realized that it meant that Lakilulu and Lakilester were dead forever.

"Friends!" Toadsworth hollered, successfully stopping a massacre from occurring. "What is the meaning of this display of violence? You should be ashamed of yourself for doubting me! Did you really think that I would leave these people dead? Unfathomable! I need them for my many other schemes to come! Let's bring them back!"

One by one, Lakilester, Luigi, Daisy, Waluigi, Goombario, Wendy, Birdo, Toodles, Dixie, Toad, Donkey Kong, Mario, Lakilulu, Rosalina, Wario, Flurrie, Snifit, Queen Bee, Boo, Peach and Yoshi came onto the stage. While the public clapped, some of them started getting in each other's face.

"Fuck you guys, FUCK YOU!" Lakilester raged. "You're a bunch of losers, you killed me first!" Donkey punched him in the face.

"Have mercy please!" Luigi pleaded, kissing Daisy's feet in an attempt to gain her forgiveness. Daisy kicked him in the face and walked toward Waluigi to give him a piece of her mind.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" she grabbed him by the collar, but the lanky man pushed her to the ground.

"Get off me you dirty tramp!"

"Waluigi, do you know the meaning of the word 'mirror'? I suppose you do not know it as much as you know what a toilet boil is, since you must have puked in one of them all your life to keep your reputation as an anorexic twig intact! You know Waluigi, some people believe that you have to be skinny to be pretty, and while I am fairly sure you are not a fifteen year old schoolgirl, you probably have an uncanny resemblance to them! Also, while I am on the subject of your silhouette: having a skinny body does not make one pretty. You're the living proof of this-" Waluigi knocked out the Goomba and stomped on him.

Wendy and Toodles were too busy fighting each other to make any comment. Surprisingly, Dixie was not with them: Toadsworth wanted a specific drink and had her fetch it for him.

Rosalina and Donkey Kong had almost managed to kiss each other, but Queen Bee pushed the princess away and started making suggestive poses to charm the ape. "i want ur hung bode n warios"

"I'm not sure I understood-" Wario had not time to finish his sentence, Birdo had punched him the face and kicked him in the belly after Daisy had told her what had transpired on the training grounds. Once finished, she made a beeline for Snifit and tried to tackle him, but was roughly shoved to the side by Toad who charged at Rosalina in anger. Wario and Donkey Kong also began fighting when the muscular one remembered that the fatso had killed him for absolutely no reason. The fight stopped when Wario let out a loud fart which was amplified by Snifit's lighter. Snifit's mother wailed even harder because she thought her son had a boo boo.

"Mariohohoho!" laughed the hero merrily. "Look at that! So many connections were built throughout our adventure!"

"I know! That's so cool!" Peach smiled at him, before her hair was pulled by a furious Boo who decided to give her a piece of his mind.

"YOU KILLED ME YOU MORON!" Boo yelled, headbutting the pink-clad woman.

"Oh my! This is so wonderful!" Flurrie chuckled to herself, happy to be back with the others. "Everyone is getting along so well!" the stupid woman made a critical mistake in her statement. Turning to Yoshi, she interrogated him. "Darling, wherever in the world is Tiny Kong?"

"I have no idea... But trust me, when I find out..." Yoshi trailed off, smiling innocently at the wind spirit. However, when she stopped paying him attention, a dark aura surrounded his body and he cackled maniacally.

"PLAYERS!" Toadsworth silenced them after a while. "Don't you want to know what happened to Tiny Kong?"

"Not really," answered several people at once. Toadsworth gritted his teeth angrily.

"Well, just so you know! Tiny Kong had the choice to bring you back to life or to choose the two hundred thousand coins!"

"Maybe she isn't so bad after all," Yoshi put forward doubtfully.

"She chose the money over your lives!" the host dashed away the hopes of the revived contestants.

"wat a bich"

"I stand corrected!" Yoshi frowned, very upset. "This lowlife shall face the wrath of the King of Overratedness!"

"Which leads me to my next point! Obviously, you must all be very disappointed in Tiny since she was absolutely horrible to you, so I have an offer to make to some of you! Would you like to get your revenge?"

"Hell yeah!" shouted almost everyone.

"Then, partake in my next game show! 'Hunter's Moon: Monkey Edition'!" Toadsworth grinned to himself, knowing that he could make tons of profits thanks to the gullibility of the players. Princess Peach's counselor rubbed his hands together, already forming his next scheme for money and glory in his head.

…

"Last stop, all change!" yelled the conductor of the Perplex Express, slowing down the train headed to Sunshine Bay, a luxurious resort where the sun was always present. It was a place for the elite and the rich, the less wealthy could not afford even a day in the region.

A blonde-pigtailed monkey stepped off onto the paved terrain carefully, wearing a headband and shades to protect herself from the glaring sun. Tiny Kong rolled her suitcase behind her and walked down an inclined path going straight to Sunshine Harbour. Sunshine Airport was also near the other two buildings, which simplified the life of the travelers.

"I deserve the best," smiled the individual. "I mean, I've put up with the worst cast of morons ever, I made an alliance with a true douchebag and things were just...plain bad overall. At least I can have a little distraction here. It's just too bad I forgot to ask Toadsworth to revive my slave of a sister against monetary compensation..."

She walked in direction of the blue and pristine waters and felt reinvigorated by the breeze . Tiny Kong fastened her pace once she saw her new yacht, excited to make use of it. She dashed for it and jumped aboard, suitcase in hand. The monkey ran her hand over the white painting of her boat and immediately drove to a private island for rich people like her.

Later that day, Tiny was relaxing on a sun lounger, on the deck of the boat of one of her new acquaintances. "I'm so glad to have met you, Prisma Krystal Vermillon Bourgeoise!" It was the name of her new friend, which was definitely not formed by a string of stupid words to make it sound exotic.

"Likewise. There's a rustic charm about you! Oh, but I should go back to my husband, I'll see you later! If you want a drink, just go ask my waiter!" the pointless character waved goodbye.

"The people here are so much better than the bumpkins I knew back in the Mushroom Kingdom," she dissed her old friends. "Waiter, I want a Margarita!" she called when she saw him pass.

"Right away madam!" A few minutes later, someone returned with her glass and threw it on her.

"HEY! WHAT THE-" Tiny removed her shades and cursed inwardly and outwardly. "Oh fuck! I'm out of here!" she kicked at the waiter, grabbed her suitcase and ran for her life.

"GO GET HER!" bellowed the waiter who was none other than Yoshi.

"I'm on it!" Lakilulu nodded, dashing towards the other girl. "Get back here you bitch!"

"Who the hell let her come with us?" frowned Waluigi. "Seriously, just hearing her voice makes me want to hurl!"

"Who cares?! Let's a go!" Mario launched a general attack on the monkey who ran for her life. Daisy jumped from a window and almost tackled the monkey girl, but Tiny Kong whacked her with her suitcase and made her fall into the water.

Tiny made a mad dash for the footbridge, but Luigi and Donkey Kong were there. Thankfully, Luigi was busy playing with Donkey's nonexistent nipple again, so Tiny was able to push him onto Donkey and make them fall from the boat too.

Rosalina was waiting at the end of the footbridge, with Wendy and Toodles, but the two rivals had started fighting thirty seconds ago when the old Toadette had called Wendy's jewelry gaudy. Rosalina was a pacifist and could not bring herself to engage in a battle with the monkey.

The last rampart that prevented Tiny from escaping took the form of a blonde princess and a white ethereal being. The smart Boo knew that the monkey had bought a boat, so he simply awaited her inside.

However, he had made a critical mistake and had handled the localization of Tiny's boat to his teammate.

"Are you sure this is the correct boat?" Boo questioned inquisitively.

"Yes, I verified with a nice man and this is the boat numbered 9669WIO5!" smiled the princess happily. Boo arched an eyebrow worriedly. It took him thirty seconds to figure out where he went wrong.

"Peach you IDIOT! It was boat SOIM6996! You looked at the sheet of paper I gave you upside-down!" he raged, very unnerved. "ABORT THE PLAN! ABORT!" he shouted into his walkie-talkie as his ragtag team of losers tried to hurry to the boat. Some of them managed to reach him, but others had to hang to lifesavers for dear life.

"Here we go dudes and dudettes!" Snifit grinned, making a fire just when Boo started the engine.

"YOU MORON!" Boo kicked the red-garbed individual in the face. "PUT OUT THE FIRE! PUT IT OUT! AAAAAAAAAAH!" he panicked, quickly followed by the rest of the passengers who screamed with all their might.

Thus began the epic chase of Tiny Kong.

There you have it, the end of this epic tale of idiocy !

Not everything is resolved, in case I wanna make a sequel with Toadsworth as a host as well, so that's why you don't know how the date will go, as well as what happened to a few select players of the game.

It was a pleasure making this story, and I apologize for the long wait I put you though, but I want to let you know that I only regained access to the Internet on Tuesday, which is also the day when I finished writing this chapter (I needed to proofread it though, which is why you only get it today).

With that project out of the way, I will focus more on the Mole from now on.

Thanks to everyone who read, and especially those who reviewed ! Sometimes I feel a pang of sadness in my heart when I compare the reviews to the views, lawlz. *shot* In any case, I should become more active on the website again now that some issues are resolved. Although with College starting again, I might have a busy schedule.

Until next time !