A/N: Thought I'd try my hand at one of these Baby Harry stories. They always seem so cute! Just a small, quick one shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter: JK Rowling does. I am not making any money off of this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

"Lily, get back here! I can't handle Harry on my own!"

"Quit your whining, Potter, you bloody well know I can't! You're the one who invited Padfoot, and he eats like a dog! I have to cook."

"Magic, Lily…and he practically is a dog."

"Shut it!"

James sighed and stared at the child hobbling around. The boy was adorable, yes, but he treated James as if he were a stranger. It was rather annoying, really, but Harry would eventually learn.

"Come on, Harry, say something! Watching you crawl is not entertaining anymore!"

Needless to say, Harry did not alter his actions whatsoever.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and James ran to go get it.

"Oh, thank Merlin you're here, Padfoot! I could do with some amusement!" James said as he opened the door.

The man who was standing at the door raised an eyebrow.

"Er, James, I am Remus."

James widened his eyes and blushed.

"Sorry, Moony."

Remus stepped inside and ran to the room where Harry was.

"Blimey, Moony, Harry couldn't possibly be more important than me? I didn't hear any 'How are you' or 'Nice weather' or anything!"

Remus did not humour James. Instead, he started to play with Harry, who seemed to acknowledge Remus more than he did James.

"Oh, Padfoot, you're here, at last," Lily said, sighing as she brought a particularly large tray of food into the living room. "There you go, eat up."

Remus gave Lily an odd look.

"Forgotten who I am, already? It is I, Remus!"

"Oh, goodness, sorry Remus!" Lily said, smiling sheepishly. "And who is Harry with now, eh?"

Harry did not even give a glance towards Lily, and instead focused on Remus.

"God, he's acting like a bloody teenager already! Are his parents seriously not that important?" Lily whined.

Remus grinned towards the unhappy couple, and took Harry to the kitchen.

"And this is where Mummy does the cooking!" he said, sounding too happy to be sane.

There was another knock on the door.

"Thank Merlin, it's Padfoot!" James said, relief written all over his face. "I need some bloody amusement around here."

James opened the door and embraced the man standing outside.

"Er, good to see you too, mate," the man said, grinning. "But isn't your wife standing by somewhere?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Padfoot!" James said, hitting Sirius playfully.

"Right, so where's Prongslet?"

Before James could answer, Sirius ran into the room in which he could find Harry and Remus.

"Has everyone forgotten about me?" James said bitterly, walking back into the living room.

"PADFOOT! I've slaughtered for hours making food for you, and you couldn't even acknowledge my presence?"

"Learn magic, love," Sirius said, not listening to the angry Lily. "Now, Harry, let's go upstairs."

James sat back down next to Lily, both in rather sour moods.

"The bloody child doesn't acknowledge us, and treats Moony and Padfoot ten times better," James muttered.

"We will get that child to like us," Lily said confidently. "It's first word will be Mummy."

"Or Daddy," James said, smiling. "The kid'll learn when he wants to, let Moony and Padfoot have their fun."

Sirius had led Remus and Harry into James' study.

"And this is where Daddy hides his Quidditch stuff from Mummy!" Sirius announced.

"And Mummy tends to find Daddy hiding!" Remus declared, with a glint in his eye. "Daddy doesn't know about your discovery of this room yet, so if you want to hide from Daddy, this is the place."

Harry nodded and allowed Sirius to lift him up.

The three boys made their way into the living room, where James and Lily were glaring at them.

"Now we'll have none of that evil looks in front of Harry," Sirius said, holding Harry protectively.

"Give. Harry. Here," James said, pointing to Harry.

Sirius obliged; it wasn't his kid after all. Suddenly, he caught sight of some of the biscuits Lily had laid out, and dived for them.

Lily laughed, "Now there's the Sirius I know."

Harry, after noticing Sirius' actions, attempted to make a dive for the biscuits as well, but James held him back.

"No, Harry."

Harry let out a soft groan; James was always telling him 'no'.

"This kid seems to have softened you up," Remus said, smiling. "You would have made a dive for the biscuits too!"

"Yeah, Prongs is no fun," Sirius said, stepping back from the empty biscuit bowl.

James sat Harry down in the middle of the circle the four adults had created.

"Right, so, now what?" James asked questioningly.

Lily shrugged, but Sirius and Remus seemed absolutely mesmerized at the baby.

"Flower, the kid is standing," Sirius said slowly.

Lily gawked at the boy in front of her, and suddenly clapped her hands.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" she cooed. "I'm so proud of you! Come to Mummy, Harry!"

That command did not seem to be what Harry had wanted at the moment in time.

"Fine, then," Lily said, desperately trying to stay happy. "Go to Daddy, then!"

Harry seemed to react to what Lily had said. He started to walk, and Lily applauded. James held out his hands. It was perfect…

…Until Harry walked to Sirius.

"Daddy!" Harry said happily, hugging Sirius.

James widened his eyes, while Remus fell on the floor in laughter. Sirius was absolutely flattered.

"Harry's first word," she muttered. "Was Daddy. To the wrong bloody person!"

Sirius beamed and hugged Harry.

"No! Stop! You're encouraging him!" James yelled in horror.

"Oh look, Daddy is yelling!" Sirius said, pointing at James.

Harry merely looked confused as to why Sirius was pointing towards James.

Then Sirius let go of Harry, and Harry pointed towards Lily. Lily started to beam before Harry said anything, her bad mood forgotten.

"Bloody person."

Remus doubled in laughter, and Sirius joined him. James looked as if he wanted to laugh, but held in in. Lily was staring at Harry, horrified.

"No Harry! Bad! Bad Harry!"

"You're treating him like a dog," Sirius pointed out, whilst Harry pouted.

"Oh, sorry, Harry," Lily apologized, reaching out for Harry. "This is so not what I imagined his first words to be…"

Harry stepped back from Lily's hands, not wanting to go to them. Then, he walked towards Remus, who held his breath, silently praying for the boy to go to James and acknowledge him.

"Moomy!" Remus beamed at the use of his nickname. "Mummy!" Harry corrected himself.

Sirius laughed loudly, while James, Lily, and Remus gaped at the demon child.

"I beg your pardon?" Remus asked, crossing his fingers.

"Mummy!" Harry said, jumping onto Remus.

"No, not Mummy," Remus said, trying to get Harry to let go of him.

"I GIVE UP!" Lily screeched, standing up.

Harry started to wave his hand at Lily, and Lily paused.

"Bloody person."

"AUGH!"

Nonetheless, Lily sat back down, praying to Merlin that all this was a nightmare.

Remus was still trying to deal with Harry.

"No, Harry, go to Daddy…"

Harry shook his head.

"Mummy!"

"Blimey, Prongs, this kid is weird," Sirius said, now realized the severity of the situation.

"No, Harry, don't say that! You'll get me in trouble!" Remus said, starting to panic.

Reluctantly, Harry went back to the middle of the circle. He looked at Sirius, questioningly while pointing at James.

"Pongs?"

James' face broke into a grin.

"Yes, Prongslet! That's Prongs!"

Harry grinned and grasped James' arm, and then started to shake it wildly, as he had seen the grownups do when they greeted each other.

James chuckled, and Harry let go, and then pointed to Lily.

"Bloody person."

Lily huffed, "Still I'm the bloody person, though."

"He thinks in third person," Remus said. "I told him Mummy works in the kitchen, and I became Mummy. Sirius told him…something…pertaining to Daddy, and now he's Daddy. And, well, er, Prongs was how James is referenced, and he caught on. You referenced yourself as bloody person, and now that's what you are."

Sirius sighed and grabbed Harry.

"Okay, Harry, this isn't funny. Point to Mummy."

Harry obediently pointed to Remus.

"Okay…" Sirius said slowly. "Go to Mummy, then."

Harry hobbled over to Remus, who grudgingly took Harry into his arms. Suddenly, he got an idea.

Remus pointed towards Lily, "That is Flower. Go to Flower."

Harry grinned and made his way over to Lily, and gave her a small hug.

"Floer!"

Lily smiled fondly and hugged Harry back. When she released Harry, Harry looked at both James and Lily.

"Pongs, Flower, feeds."

James and Lily automatically looked over to Sirius and Remus for translations.

"Er," Sirius said. "I think he's saying all three of you are friends."

James and Lily seemed fine with this arrangement, and started to fondle over Harry.

There was another knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Sirius and Remus said simultaneously and opened the door.

"WORMTAIL!" they said, pulling Peter through the door.

"Harry's said some of his first words, and can walk," Remus said, pointing at Harry.

Peter joined to circle of Harry obsessors.

After a while, Harry went back into the middle of the circle. He pointed at James and Lily.

"Flower. Pongs."

Lily and James beamed respectively. Peter seemed impressed. Then Harry pointed to Sirius and Remus, who both gritted their teeth when they realized what Harry was about to say.

"Mummy! Daddy!"

Peter looked at Sirius and Remus.

"Since when are you two a couple?"

Sirius and Remus glared at Peter, while Lily and James laughed. Harry, however, did not seemed amused that Peter had hurt Sirius and Remus' feelings. He pointed directly at Peter, and said one very important and fateful word he had heard mentioned many times before.

"Traitor."

Peter froze while the rest started to reprimand Harry for using such a foul word to their friend. Harry's views, however, never changed once throughout his entire life.

THE END.

A/N: So...thoughts? Reviews are always a good deed, and good deeds are good, aren't they?